September. Tessa couldn't remember how long it had been since that month had meant something more to her than a change in the calendar. Then again, how old was Lucie... a year and nine months or so? Had it really been that long since September had meant the start of the school year?

Tessa could remember why she hadn't applied for her fourth year of university. She'd discovered she was pregnant in March which put the due date in November, right in the middle of the first semester of her last year of school. She'd thought trying to finish a semester with a newborn would have been highly impractical, and she'd been right. Tessa could only imagine how her postpartum depression would have affected her grades, even if she'd been able to stay awake in class. So it had made sense to skip that first semester. She hadn't even thought of applying for January as Lucie had been only two months old, but Tessa had no excuse as to why she hadn't started taking classes again this time last year. Sure, she'd still being recovering from the depression, but it had been so much better. And yes, Will had been hurt by Lucie's obvious favoritism, but why should that have stopped her from returning to school?

And now yet another September was here, and Tessa could be found folding baby clothes in her living room while her toddler was sleeping. Yes, toddler. Lucie was almost two after all, and had developed a few more words. She'd taken to calling Will da, while still using da-da for Jem. Tessa had become ma. She wasn't sure how she felt about only getting one syllable, but she supposed that didn't really matter.

Tessa knew that between Will and Jem, she could get enough childcare to attend a few classes a week, and yet she hadn't applied. She was starting to wonder if she was the problem. If she really cared about finishing her degree, surely she would have put more effort into it than this. A dedicated student wouldn't have just dropped out because she could, right?

Tessa stopped folding clothes as she picked up one of Lucie's tiny socks, staring at it. Sometimes it felt like a dream, this falling in love with two wonderful men and having a child with them. A very long and mostly wonderful dream. What if she woke up tomorrow and it was all gone? Who would she be then?

Tessa rolled the sock up with it's pair, sighing deeply as she collected all the clean laundry to put away. And even if she did finish her degree, what was the point? Had she any plans to do something with it? What jobs could you get with an English Literature Bachelor's degree anyway? She loved learning about literature, but that didn't mean she'd like working in the field, if she could indeed get a job in publishing or something. Or was the only thing an English Literature degree good for was a stepping stone to a Master's so you could teach the pointless subject to others.

At least Tessa could be useful here. At least she could be a mother and lover. Then again, the lover part had been a long time. When Lucie was younger she hadn't had the energy. Then the depression had killed any desire she had apart from misery. After that, Tessa had started to notice the changes to her body. There were great white lines across her stomach, and similar stretch marks around her breasts which weren't quite as firm as they'd once been. Before Lucie they'd been small and firm, and now they felt saggy and too big. It had been a long time since Tessa had felt beautiful. It wasn't like she thought she was ugly or anything, it was that she felt uncomfortable in her body in a way she couldn't remember being before.

Jem didn't seem to mind. Tessa knew - from her extensive research on the disease - that hemochromatosis had a tendency to lower one's libido, and she had a sneaky suspicion that Jem was relieved, almost as if he'd been pushing himself to keep up with her and Will all this time. Tessa sensed Will was more aware of the change in her than Jem was. They'd done some deep kissing and a little more, but always at night with the lights down. She just wasn't as comfortable naked as she'd once been. Tessa liked the lights off, as if the darkness was a blanket shielding her from exposure.

Tessa knew Will and Jem loved her, and some part of her rational mind understood that they wouldn't care how she looked, but even so Tessa couldn't shake the strange awkward feeling.

With a sigh, Tessa pushed her pointless thoughts away. Just because it was September didn't mean she needed to let her thoughts run round in pointless circles. Finishing the laundry, Tessa went to check on Lucie in her crib. Her daughter was still sleeping, eyes closed with her chest rising and falling evenly.

For a moment, Tessa just gazed at her daughter. Though her face was resting now, when Lucie smiled, Jem said it was exactly the same way Tessa smiled. Lucie's hair was getting longer every day. The thick brown locks matched her mother's perfectly, but there was something of Will in the shape of her face. She also had Will's perfect blue eyes, and with every passing day, Lucie was developing a distinct personality. Tessa couldn't help picturing who Lucie would be when she grew up. Tessa hoped Lucie wouldn't have that need for action like her father. Another firefighter in the family would in no way deduce Tessa's stress levels. She and Will both had a love of books, so maybe Lucie would take after that instead. And then there was the nature vs. nurture argument. How much of who she became would be influenced by Jem? The possibilities were endless, and Tessa was strangely excited to see what the future held. Watching a child grow up was indeed, a wonder to behold.

Adjusting the blanket over Lucie, Tessa quietly left the room, closing the room behind her. With her chores done, Tessa wasn't sure what to do with her few moments of free time. In fact, she wasn't totally sure what free time was anymore. What did one do with free time? Will was working, and Jem had left for a doctor's appointment less than an hour ago. With the laundry done, Lucie sleeping and dinner planned, Tessa really didn't have anything she needed to do. It was a strange, though not unpleasant feeling, a bit like floating aimlessly. What did one do with time?

"Oh, I don't know," Tessa berated herself. "Go to class." She put the kettle on, making herself some tea as the one sided conversation with herself continued.

By the time Jem arrived home twenty minutes later, Tessa's thoughts were spirling again, leading her down a path of self-guilt trips and confused frustration.

"I'm so glad to see you," Tessa told him, greeting Jem with a kiss and offering to make him tea.

"And I love you too," Jem chuckled. "What's on your mind, Tessa?"

"September," Tessa sighed.

"Alright," Jem said slowly hanging up his coat. "Not sure I follow."

"It's September again," Tessa continued. "And I never signed up for classes."

"Did you want to take classes again?" Jem asked. "If so, this is the first I've heard of it."

"I should finish my degree," Tessa replied.

"Ah, but that wasn't what I asked," Jem smiled.

"It's just stupid to do three years of a four year degree," Tessa told him. "Isn't it?"

"Why are you asking me?" Jem inquired.

"Well I-," Tessa began, then in trying to reply, discovered something she hadn't realized before. "I guess I want someone elses to tell me what I should do."

"I'm flattered you value my opinion so highly," Jem smiled, leaning forward to kiss her gently before continuing. "But life is too short for that. Why do you want to go back to school?"

"Cause I should," Tessa shrugged. "I mean I'm over half done and..."

"That's not a very good reason to do anything," Jem advised, calmly.

"Are you saying I shouldn't bother?"

"There you go again," Jem chuckled. "I can't make this decision for you, Tessa. You have to do what makes you happy. Would going back to school make you happy, Tessa?"

"I don't know," Tessa whispered.

"Then I wouldn't worry too much about it," Jem told her. "Until you do."

Smiling in that way only Jem could, Tessa saw the wisdom in his young eyes.

"Thanks," Tessa said gratefully as she following him into the kitchen.

"Anytime," Jem replied.

"So how was your day?" Tessa asked. "Aside from arriving home only to be confronted by my drama."

"I was poked and prodded by doctors mostly," Jem replied. "Honestly, I prefer your drama."

"Well that's good at least," Tessa chuckled.

"If you don't want to go back to school right now," Jem continued, as he began making that cup of tea she'd offered him, then totally failed to make. "But you're sick of being home all the time. You could try looking for some part time work or volunteer at the library?"

"How is it that you always know what to say?" Tessa beamed at him.

"It's a gift," Jem chuckled.

"No you are," Tessa smiled at him. Jem disagreed, saying he was lucky to have both her and Will, but Tessa knew better. Most people are lucky to have one great love in their life, but she had found two. Tessa was the lucky one.

They were drinking tea a few minutes later when Lucie's disgruntled noises alerted them to her newly conscious status. Jem volunteers to go get her, telling Tessa she should relax, maybe take the time to look at available classes or job postings. With the sounds of her daughter's displeasure being soothed by her father playing in the background, Tessa went to Jem's laptop to look stuff up.

She got in a solid few hours of searching while Jem watched Lucie. It helped that Lucie was happy. Whenever Tessa turned to look, she saw that Lucie was making Jem's job easy enough that Jem even got in some quality time with a book while babysitting. They hadn't started potty training Lucie yet, but Tessa knew it was coming, just as well as she knew it would be a lot of work. For now they had the excuse that she was maybe just a little too young for that.

By the time Will arrived home, Tessa had found a few part time jobs she might apply for, and thought seriously about signing up for one course come January. It was best to ease into these things, rather than tackle them all at once. Tessa didn't want to crash and burn. She'd sit on the decision for a few days to make sure her guilt wasn't actually the only reason she wanted to go back.

"And how was your day?" Tessa asked Will once he'd taken off his coat.

"Hot," Will replied. "If I had to describe my day in one word, the word would be hot."

"I hate fire," Tessa added. "And I hate you fighting them."

"I know," Will smiled at her. Then he moved towards her and kissed her deeply, his hand resting on the small of her back.

She knew a slight moan had escaped her throat at his touch. Will's kisses were different than Jem's. There was a fire in Will's caress that burned just under the surface. Jem's kisses were loving and wonderful, but they didn't convey the same underlying desire Will's did. There it was again, that stupid feeling again, making her want to hide. She pulled away, breaking the kiss casually and turning to hang up the coat Will had thrown over the back of the couch.

"It's strange," Jem said absently. Tessa turned to face him. "How normal that seems to me now."

"Watching me kiss your girlfriend doesn't bother you anymore, huh?" Will chuckled.

"Our girlfriend," Jem reminded him. "Though that doesn't feel right either."

"Our Tessa," Will smiled. "Because the world doesn't have a name for us."

"There is such a thing as being too unique," Jem remarked with a laugh.

"Never," Will scoffed.

"Da-DA!" a sudden scream got their attention. All three parents turned to see Lucie standing staring at them, holding her favourite blanket in one hand and a book in the other.

"Do you want da-da to read you a story?" Will asked, leaving down. "Or is da okay?"

"Da-da," Lucie replied.

"Typical," Will sighed, standing up again.

"Don't let me interrupt the make out session," Jem chuckled as he let Lucie take him by the hand. "I'll read to the adorable little angel." Tessa watched Jem and Lucie walk down the hall before they turned into Lucie's bedroom and the door closed behind them.

"Adorable little bias angel," Will muttered under his breath.

"Don't be too hard on her," Tessa smiled, moving closer to try and cheer Will up.

"I won't," Will smiled, reaching his arms out to wrap them around her.

"Good," Tessa looked up at him. She knew she was smiling, but it hardly mattered as she was lost in his perfect blue eyes.

Then he was kissing her deeply, and though Tessa welcomed the affection, that ugly feeling reared its head again. She pulled away.

"Tessa," Will's voice was gentle. She felt his hand against her cheek. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Tessa replied automatically.

"Are you sure?" Will asked. She leaned up to kiss his cheek before saying once again that she was fine, this time with a smile.

"Then why do I miss you?" Will asked in a whispered. "Miss being near you, holding you."

"You're holding me right now," Tessa squired awkwardly.

"You know what I mean," Will smiled at her. "I miss making love to you."

"We do that," Tessa said, again a little awkwardly.

"In the dark," Will replied. "And I wouldn't call it making love."

"What are you trying to say?" Tessa asked, her heart pounding a little nervously.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked softly. "Really know I mean?"

"I-" Tessa stammered. "I love you too."

Will smiled, his other hand reaching up to hold her cheek. "At first I thought it was just because of Lucie," he continued in a whisper. "You were tired and you had every right to be. Then I saw you struggling once more with something far worse. It wasn't until things settled down that I realized it was more."

"I-" Tesa tried again. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me why," Will said softly. "Why are you hiding from me?" A part of her wanted to say she wasn't hiding, to deny it all, but she just couldn't, not with Will asking so earnestly.

"I'm not the same as I was," Tessa mumbled, trying to look down despite his efforts to encourage her to look at him.

"Time changes everyone," Will agreed. "That doesn't mean you hide from those you love, who love you."

"Having Lucie," Tessa managed to say. "Changed me. I'm saggy, marked, different."

Will didn't say a word. Instead he took a step back, and began pulling his shirt up over his head. Tessa didn't form thoughts as she watched, waiting to see what happened.

"Do you see this?" Will asked pointing to a mark on his shoulder that had been there as long as Tessa had known him. "I got this when a rotten ceiling beam fell on me. And this." He pointed to the small mark near his left hip, which Tessa hadn't noticed before. It looked almost like the skin had been melted and cooled. "This is from a recent rather nasty fire that managed to eat through my suit. And I have more scars than this, Tess." Dropping his hands to his sides, Will added. "Do you think of me as marked?"

"That's different," Tessa said with a shake of her head. "You got those saving lives."

"And you got yours creating a life," Will reminded her. "We are the same, my love, and you are beautiful."

Tessa's breathing was very shallow as she gazed up into his clear blue eyes. Slowly, as if waiting to see if she'd object, Will reached for her. Ever so gently she felt his hands at her hips, then up under her shirt. Tessa closed her eyes, leaning her head back as she enjoyed the feeling.

"Beautiful," Will whispered as he kissed her neck. His hands had found their way to her breasts. Tessa couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her as his fingers teased her nipple. She had missed him too, but she couldn't stop the irrational feeling that Will would change his mind the moment he saw her. Trying to be brave, Tessa pulled her own shirt off. She hadn't bothered to put on a bra today, which was the case most days she didn't leave the house. Even after having Lucie Tessa wasn't so well endowed that she couldn't get away with comfortably going braless at home.

Now she stood face to face with Will, just as shirtless as him. Her eyes were fixed on his face, waiting for a reaction. But he only smiled before moving closer to kiss every one of her stretch marks.

"You will always be beautiful to me," Will whispered.

So this chapter's been done for a while now, but my editor has been very busy. Hopefully, it was worth the wait! ^_^

Also this was the first time I got to upload a timeline at the same time as a current chapter! Yay.

Sneak Peek Chapter 126

"Darling." The voice was gently was highly amused.

"Huh?" Alec mumbled, sitting up.

"You fell asleep," Magnus explained, with a hint of laughter in his eyes. Alec rubbed his eyes as he turned to see the credits of the Pompeii show scrolling across the screen.

"This history stuff makes a great lullaby," Alec replied. Magnus rolled his eyes.

"What am I going to do with you?" Magnus asked, with a shake of his head.

"Love me, feed me," Alec grinned. "Never leave me."

"To some marriage is a word," Magnus sighed. "To others a sentence."

"Oh oh!" Alec said, jumping up. "My turn. Umm…. Olive you."

"I've created a monster," Magnus said, fanning sadness.