By now he was more than sure something bad had happened when Magnus had seen his father in September, but no matter how Alec inquired his husband wouldn't explain what was bothering him. It was starting to drive Alec crazy.

"The trouble with that is that you don't have far to go," Paige giggled at him when Alec expressed concern for his sanity.

"Oh ha ha," Alec replied, rolling his eyes. "Alec's already nuts, very funny. And here I thought you'd be a good person to ask for help."

"Don't worry, I am," Paige continued. "Just couldn't resist messing with you." She laughed. Just then the timer on her phone went off, and Paige got up from where she was sitting across from Alec and went over to the kitchen. Alec followed her, interested in this advice he had likely earned by tolerating her teasing.

"Okay so advice then," Alec said as he walked into the kitchen to find her pulling something out of the oven.

Paige placed the baking tray on the stove and turned to face him. "Do you know why I forgave Jordan and Maia for everything that happened?"

"Honestly no," Alec answered. "That always confused me. You should be really mad."

"I was mad," Paige continued. "And when I needed it I used that anger, but holding onto it in the long term would only serve to hurt me, not those I was mad at." Paige turned to face him. "In the end the reason I'm not mad is very simple: I value my own happiness more than holding onto resentment."

"That's very mature of you," Alec said camly. "I'm not sure I'm capable of that, but what does this have to do with Magnus?"

"I think Magnus is angry," Paige explained. "And he can't let it go."

"If he's mad at John then why is he shutting me out?" Alec sighed. "You don't think he's mad at me do you? I mean I know I was really dense there for a while but-" Alec trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

"If I had to guess I think he's mad at himself," Paige explained.

"Oh," Alec whispered, his shoulders falling as he slumped.

"Which is unfortunately the hardest kind of resentment to let go of," Paige added in a sympathetic tone.

"So what you are telling me is that I can't actually do anything to help my husband?" Alec summed it up, feeling quite dejected.

"Pretty much. Yep," Paige agreed in a false cheerful voice then added more soberly. "It's important that he knows you are there when he's ready to talk, but he has to open up to you for you to be able to help him."

"Whatever you are baking there smells good," Alec said, hoping to change the subject. He knew Paige was making sense but he didn't want to hear it because he wanted to be told he could fix it. "I think I need comfort food." He reached forward, but Paige snapped his wrist to discourage him.

"These are for my boyfriend," Paige said firmly.

"Man ever since you met Jon, your roommates have been suffering a lack of baked goods," Alec whined. Paige just chuckled.

"You know you are an adult capable of acquiring your own chocolate scones," Paige reminded him.

"But the store bought ones don't taste as good as yours," Alec whined.

"I meant you could learn to bake," Paige laughed as she packed up her scones into a lined tin.

"Lucky Jon," Alec grumbled.

"Damn right!" Paige chuckled. "I'm a catch you know." She grinned at him as she carried her baked goodies away from Alec's salivating mouth. "I doubt I'll be home tonight, but have fun at the wedding okay?"

"If Magnus gets home in time from work to come with me that is," Alec sighed. "It's like I never see him anymore. He keeps taking extra shifts both at his job and the museum."

"He's probably trying to stay busy enough that he doesn't have to think too much about whatever it is that's bothering him," Paige offered.

"Yeah but like if I never see him, how can I get him to talk to me?" Alec groaned, still frustrated about the reality that he couldn't help his husband if Magnus didn't want help.

"That is above and beyond my advice for today," Paige replied. "I'm off to deliver my domestic treats." She laughed as she put on her coat and collected her purse. "Wouldn't I make someone a great wife one day?" She added, grinning.

"You can't be this perfect," Alec said, narrowing his eyes at her. "There are flaws, and when I find them you own me chocolate scones!"

"Bye," Paige laughed and waved as she closed the door behind her.

Now Alec had no distractions from his worries. Plus Magnus wasn't home yet, and they had to leave for the wedding in less than an hour. Rather than think about the idea of going to a family wedding without his plus one, Alec decided to start getting ready. His sister had forced him to rent a tux for the day even though he was only a guest. She'd said something about them all arriving in style, but Alec hadn't really been listening. Like he'd been doing alot the last few months, Alec had been worrying about Magnus.

It wasn't like he noticed it all the time, just there were these moments when Magnus seemed lost and out of reach. That scared him more than anything. After all, Alec had married the man because he never wanted to live without him so to feel like his husband was slipping away put Alec's stomach in knots.

Forty-five minutes left until their car arrived.

Since it was a major family event his parents had been in town for the last day or so, and had decided to rent a limo for the occasion. Izzy had been very excited about the whole thing, though Alec really didn't care how they got there. All he cared about was Magnus walking through that door and smiling like he usually did when he saw Alec. For now he'd distract himself by getting ready to leave.

Thirty minutes left…

Even if he arrived right now would Magnus have time to get ready? Getting off work so close to leaving didn't he want to shower? Alec was pacing now, trying to wear a hole in the floor as his pace increased in speed with his worry.

Twenty minutes left…

Something must have happened at work. Maybe he should just resign himself to attending this wedding alone. Alec checked his phone again for what felt like the thousandth time this morning. No messages.

Ten minutes…

Should he lock up the apartment, and start heading downstairs? Probably, but-

Five minutes…

Yep he should definitely head downstairs now.

Three minutes…

Magnus really wasn't coming. Alec couldn't believe it. Somehow he'd expected that glorious man to just appear at the last second glittered up and ready to go, but no. That wasn't gonna happen.

It was time to leave.

Alec gathered his keys and wallet before putting on his coat and locking up the apartment behind him. Down the stairs, and out the front door Alec tried not to think too much about anything for he feared he'd cry if he wasn't careful.

Parked in front of the apartment building was the very limo he'd expected to be there. At least his parents hadn't abandoned him. Maybe they had picked up Izzy and Simon already so then at least he'd have someone to talk to and distract him from his worries on the drive there.

The footman opened his door and Alec got in. Sitting down across from him was indeed his sister in a beautiful auburn dress with a thick warm looking shawl around her shoulders. Beside her sat Simon in the exact same style tux as Alec, just with colour details to match Izzy's dress. Beside them were his parents, and sitting on their other side-

"Magnus!" Alec couldn't help but exclaim. He could hear his mother chuckle, but he didn't care. He was too stocked and relieved just seeing Magnus to care at all what his mother was doing.

"I knew I'd get off work late today," Magnus explained. "So I called to have the limo pick me up directly from there."

"But then how did you change into your suit?" Alec asked, for Magnus was wearing a stunning grey suit with dark blue detailing.

"I brought it with me to work today," Magnus explained. "I packed everything up this morning while you were sleeping." Magnus winked.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Alec exclaimed. Now that Magnus was here in the car with him, Alec didn't want to admit how worried he'd been just moments before.

"I wanted to surprise you," Magnus replied.

"Almost two years of marriage, and still he goes out of his way to surprise you," Maryse said, holding her hand up to her chest. "So adorable."

"Men don't like being called adorable, mother!" Alec grumbled. He was feeling very stupid now for being so wound up before. Everything was fine, right?

"I must say Simon it is rare to see you in a tux," Magnus turned away from Alec to address the other side of the limo car.

"Izzy made it worth my while," Simon explained.

Magnus laughed. "I bet she did," he chuckled. Alec's gaze was fixed on his husband's face. He hadn't seen Magnus smile in a while, but then again he hadn't seen Magnus much lately outside of a minute or two before or after work.

Had Magnus changed at work, and gotten picked up first to avoid being alone with him? Come to think of it they hadn't had a single real meaningful conversation since he'd gone to visit his father. Was that because Magnus has been organizing it so they aren't alone together for any significant length of time, and thus not giving Alec an opportunity to bombard him with questions? Was that why he kept taking on more shifts? Was he really so scared to just tell Alec what was bothering him?

And more importantly, was Alec brave enough to confront him about this today at his cousins wedding? The short answer: no.

In the background of his thoughts Alec could hear his sister and parents talking with Simon about plans for Christmas. He even caught Magnus's voice joining in every now and then, but Alec didn't have anything to add. All this internal worry and analysis was exhausting him, but from what little he was able to comprehend it sounded like his parents were staying in town for Christmas rather than making all the kids fly home for a change.

They arrived at the wedding and took their seats. Magnus sat with Izzy on his other side, and engaged her in conversation as they waited for the brides to arrive. Alec didn't really listen, past the point of generally knowing what topic they were on. Clothes, make up, weddings and Christmas kept them busy until the lights dimmed.

Alec watched as each bride approached from the opposite side of the room, walking down parallel alises until they met in the middle. He watched as they exchanged rings. He listened as they promised to be together in good times and bad.

"Because of you, I laugh, I smile, and I dare to dream more than I ever have. Thank you for the miracle of you. You are, and always will be, the love of my life, my soulmate, my person," Aline promised Helen as she put a ring on her finger.

"I want nothing more than to share my future with you—my triumphs and my challenges, my joys and my sorrows. Together, I know we can accomplish the life we both dream of living," Helen promised Aline. "For you will always be my soul's mate."

Someone said 'the brides may kiss' and they were married. Music played and people cheered as the couple, hand in hand, sprinted from the room. Alec couldn't help thinking about his wedding at a time like this. Magnus had once stood before him just like this, promising to be his forever and yet now…

"I told myself I wasn't gonna cry," Izzy sniffed. Alec turned to see her face buried in her boyfriend's shoulder. She was definitely crying.

Alec then switched his gaze to Magnus. He was hoping to see the same look on his face that he felt in his heart at being so reminded of their own wedding day. Magnus was smiling, though not quite the way Alec had wanted, but he did reach out his hand to hold Alec's.

"I love you," Alec whispered into his husband's ear.

"I know," Magnus whispered back before pecking Alec on the cheek. "Same."

It didn't quite put Alec's mind at ease, though he sensed a slight improvement from this moment of affection.

The brides had decided on only intimate family for photos so most everyone had a few hours to kill before the reception. Everyone that is except for Alec who Aline had asked to join them for a photo or two a while back. Alec was flattered, though as they'd been so close in high school and the start of university he hadn't been that surprised.

Aline was waving him over so Alec bid his farewells and went off. If he hadn't already decided that he didn't have the bravery to really talk to Magnus today Alec would have felt photos here were a missed opportunity to have a private conversation with his husband.

Alec smiled when told to and stood where he was asked to for about an hour before he was released, and the brides and their parents and wedding party were left to finish up. Once free Alec went to find everyone, eventually locating them sitting in the limo.

"I mean really is there any point going home now?" Izzy had said when Alec asked why they were still here. "Mom said we had to wait for you, and well the reception starts in less than an hour now. We'd get home just in time to leave again." She chuckled. "Besides this limo has wifi." Alec couldn't help but laugh at her statement even if it made sense.

When the doors to the reception opened everyone piled out of the limo and into the hall. Though the Penhallow's weren't quite as rich as the Lightwoods, the wedding had been grand and so it seemed was the reception.

Turning his head to take in the entirety of the room, Alec saw huge tables laden with catered delicacies lined both sides of the room. The table for the bridal party was on a slightly raised platform at the far side of the room opposite the doors everyone was entering through.

Between the bridal party and the tables for the guests stood a square wooden dance floor covered in reflecting prisms of light from some kind of machine Alec couldn't see. It made it look like little rainbows were dancing along the floor under everyone's feet, and also on the ceiling above their heads. The effect was quite stunning.

In front of each seat at the guest tables was a small delicate arrangement of beautiful flowers, each surrounding a card with a name written on it in fine calligraphy. They almost looked like individual corsages without the wristband.

It seemed quite a brilliant idea now that Alec thought about it, to do something so small for each guest instead of a big centerpiece that they would all have to look and talk around. And they would make nice favors for people to take home. The small arrangements of purple allium and lilies signified unity and were the perfect touch. He had to admit he was surprised his mother hadn't thought of something like this for he and Magnus's wedding.

"Isn't it so much easier to just attend a wedding than plan one?" Magnus said as they sat down at their assigned seat. "So much less stress."

"Like you guys didn't get lots of help!" Robert reminded them.

"True," Magnus replied. He was smiling, but there was something there under his smile that made Alec uneasy.

"Are you alright?" Maryse asked him in a whisper while the others weren't listening.

"Yeah," Alec smiled, unwilling to burden his mother with his worries, even if he had the time to explain it before they were overheard.

The bridal party announced games to see who would be getting dinner first, and all attention was once again put towards the wedding. Some of the games involved bidding, and Robert ended up paying over a hundred dollars to get the ladys to smear cake on each other's faces. For a while there was so much going on Alec found himself completely distracted from his woes.

As the night wound down and the bartenders were running low on alcohol, the accumulated exhaustion of the day hit Alec like a bag of bricks. Before he knew it Alec was half asleep on his husband's shoulder, before being startled awake by his mother's voice.

"Why don't you take Alexander home?" Maryse suggested to Magnus who nodded.

Without the energy to resist, and more than willing to be held by his husband, Alec allowed himself to be led. He was pretty sure that he fell asleep in the cab, as the next thing he remembered they were parking in front of the apartment while Magnus paid the driver.

"Keep the tip," he said as Alec realized he'd closed his eyes again.

"Come on now," Magnus's voice tried to get him up as his arms lifted. "Off to bed with you."

Alec leaned on Magnus all the way up the stairs and into their home. As expected Paige wasn't home though it seemed Clary was, but her door was closed which meant she'd probably already gone to sleep.

Magnus laid Alec in the bed and pulled back as if to move away, but Alec's arm reached out to stop him. "Stay," Alec said desperately. He was too tired and still a bit intoxicated to care about his pride or anything else right now, except for Magnus.

To his relief, Magnus did as he was bid and laid down beside him. Wrapped in Magnus's arms Alec fell asleep at once.

The next morning Alec woke up to an empty bed and a note. Beside the slip of paper was a small box. The note read:

Darling,

I had planned to give this to you last night, but you looked so peaceful sleeping I couldn't bear to wake you. Instead I leave it for you to discover on your own as I have to be at work early today. In the box you will find a set of keys to your new car. I know it was my fault you lost your other one, so I have been working more to be able to get you this. It isn't as nice as the one you lost, but please I will be most happy if you accept it anyway.

Love

Your Husband

Shocked, Alec opened the box, and sure enough there was a car key, complete with a remote start and panic button. Was this really the only reason Magnus had taken on all those extra shifts? Was finding a way to pay for a car really the only thing Magnus had been trying to hide? Had Alec been making mountains out of mole hills this whole time? If so, why did it feel like there was still something Magnus was holding back?

What do you all think of Paige's view on life? ^_^ And is Alec just worrying for nothing or what? Long wait for this chapter but I hope it was worth it. :) The next chapter is always pretty well done so it shouldn't be so long a wait next time. Cheers. Hope you are all doing well in these turbulent times.

Sneak Peek Chapter 179

"I've actually been thinking lately," Clary began, lifting her head up but still looking down at her notes, rather than at her friend. "When school ends, when I graduate, I've been thinking-"

"Of going home," Simon finished for her.

"Wh- how'd you know?" Clary exclaimed, turning to face him in a flash.

"Because I've been where you are, remember?" Simon smiled at her.

"This is different," Clary argued.

"I agree that in the end my loss was much less than yours," Simon confirmed. "But at the time I didn't know that. All I thought I wanted was to run back to the life I remembered making sense, but I quickly learned that that life I remembered no longer existed and I came back."

"You think that same thing will happen to me?" Clary asked.

"No," Simon said easily.