Despite his attempts to not think about it, Jace couldn't help but be aware of the fact that this would be the first Christmas he'd ever spent not on speaking terms with his mother. Jace had no siblings and had never met his father which meant Celine was really all the family he had. There had been a point in Jace's life when he'd considered Clary family, but that had since passed, leaving only his mother.

From what he heard no one else was really having that great a Christmas either. Magnus had volunteered to work the whole holiday. This had led to many texts from Alec complaining about the whole situation. Jace wasn't really sure why Alec was still going on about it, as the only helpful piece of advice Jace had to offer Alec didn't want to hear.

'You have to talk to your husband!' Jace had texted back after what had felt like a million messages of beating around the bush.

'But what if he's being like this because he's giving up on our marriage?' Alec had replied back. 'I'm scared to start that conversation.'

'You won't know unless you try,' Jace had texted back, though he completely understood how Alec felt. Jace could remember perfectly how he'd felt those days after Clary had returned from Paris, but was still keeping something from him. The land of limbo he had once called home was now his best friend's stomping ground. Jace hated that there was nothing he could do to help. His only idea was yelling at Magnus which he doubted would do any good. Those two had to work this out on their own, no matter how much Jace wanted to lock them up together and lose the key.

'Magnus has already told me he's working right through Christmas this year,' Alec's next text had read. 'My parents have invited Simon, Izzy and I over for the holidays.'

'Doesn't that mean you've been flying to their place?' Jace texted back.

'Nah, Mom and dad have been in town since Aline's wedding,' Alec's text reminded Jace. 'They flow Max down and are renting out the top floor of a hotel to host us all for Christmas.'

'Ah I see,' Jace texted back. Now that he thought about it, he could remember Alec mentioning this at least once before.

'Still though even with everyone in town,' Alec next text read. 'It doesn't really feel like Christmas, without Magnus.'

'I get that,' Jace replied back, empathizing with his friend. 'Maybe when the holidays are over things will get better.' Jace added a smiley face emoji and sent the message. Alec sent a smile emoji back and ended the conversation.

It had been the only time Alec had mentioned fears of Magnus giving up on their marriage, but Jace couldn't blame him for that. Sometimes it was easier to admit things like this over text than in person and anyone in his situation would likely have similar fears.

The one exception to Jace's miserable Christmas theory was his roommate Jon, who these days was happy to the point of being annoying.

"Are you sure you're gonna be alright here all alone for Christmas?" Jon asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Yes, just go," Jace groaned. "It will be a nice break from the aurora of happiness you've been giving off these days."

"Am I really that bad?" Jon asked, though he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Yes but that's okay," Jace told him, moving closer to pat his friend on the shoulder in reassurance. "I'm a grown up. I can be glad my friend is happy without turning into a green eyed monster." He laughed, trying to show that it really was okay if Jon left.

"Thanks," Jon smiled. Then he paused and added more thoughtfully. "It's strange, but it's true isn't it? We are friends separate from my sister, I mean."

"That we are," Jace told him.

"You know," Jon began. "When we first started hanging out like this, like real friends I mean instead of seeing each other only on holidays, I remember thinking it was so weird that you were dating my sister. But now it's even stranger to me that you aren't."

"Life is endlessly unpredictable, isn't it?" Jace replied back, trying to ignore the stab of pain Jon's words caused in his heart.

"That is so true!" Jon exclaimed with a chuckle.

"Now get the hell out of here before you miss your flight," Jace said, shoving his friend towards the door.

"Okay, okay, I'm going," Jon laughed.

"Say hi to Paige for me," Jace added as he waved Jon out the door.

And then he was alone.

No shifts at work, no Jon, no friends, and no Clary. Jace felt sure Will would be busy with his family at the holidays, and wasn't about to bother him with his neediness. Alec, Izzy and Simon were probably all eating Maryse's home cooking in the penthouse of some hotel, and Paige and Jon would be on their flight in the next few hours.

Then again there was Jordan. Since he'd moved in with Maia, Jace hadn't seen his old roommate very much, but maybe it was time to catch up. He knew neither of them were on great terms with their families so they just might still be in town.

Jace sent the text, hopeful, but that hope was crushed less than twenty minutes later when Jordan replied.

'Sorry man but Maia and I aren't in town again till New Years,' Jordan's text read. 'Since neither of us wanted to deal with our families we decided to go on a romantic road trip during the Christmas break.'

And that was that.

Never before in his life had he had this many friends, and never before in his life had he spent a Christmas alone. What kind of cruel irony was that?

He supposed he could call Annika, but he really wasn't in the mood for sex right now, and if they just hung out all she'd do is try to convince him to call his mother anyway. And Jace wasn't going to do that. Celine had crossed a line that could not be uncrossed. Jace had already made this decision. Just because Annika was comparing it to her situation doesn't mean she was right.

As the days went by and Christmas approached Jace tried his best to keep his thoughts away from one topic, but despite his best efforts Jace couldn't help but wonder what Clary was doing for Christmas. She'd probably gone home to visit her mother, which meant she'd be with Jon and Paige right now.

He couldn't help imagining the three of them enjoying Jocelyn's amazing German apple pancakes, probably right before opening presents around the tree. He knew Jon's parents were enamored by Paige. Jace could picture Jocelyn making jokes about when the wedding was or how many grandkids she could expect from them. Jon would probably blush some funny colour and hide while Paige would just laugh. Clary in this scenario would be accusing her brother of grossing her out. The thought made Jace smile.

Missing Clary had been constant for him for so long now, he wasn't really sure what it felt like not to miss her. He'd missed her the whole time she'd been in Paris, and then once she'd been back he'd missed how easy and open they'd been with each other before. And now he missed her completely.

And loathe though he was to admit it, this time of year, he missed his mother too.

His thoughts were very sharply interrupted by the sound of the apartment intercom. It was probably just someone from another apartment hitting the wrong button. Jace decided to ignore it. He wasn't expecting anyone. In fact, everyone he knew who might have shown up unexpectedly was currently far far away eating plum pudding with their families. What was plum pudding anyway? Jace knew it tasted good, but what was even in it? Maybe that would be what he did for Christmas, all alone in this apartment: make plum pudding. Yep, good plan. That was definitely more depressing than binge watching The Witcher again.

Jace sighed.

The intercom bell stopped ringing after only a few moments, and Jace felt sure it had been for someone else. He got up and went to the kitchen before realizing he needed a recipe first. Pulling out his phone he googled a few recipes until he found one that had 'easy' in the title, but even that one didn't look easy at all! He didn't have the ingredients in the house by a long shot. He'd even had to look up one of them just to learn that it was a very specific kind of rum. So much for that idea.

Jace was just about to plunk himself down in front of the tv with a bag of potato chips when another sharp noise interrupted him. This time though it wasn't the apartment intercom that let guests into the building, it was a knock on his actual front door.

The only person he knew left in town was Will, but surely he would have called or at least texted before just showing up. Jace was suddenly panicking. How had they gotten into the building? Or was this just a drunk neighbour forgetting where they lived? There was only one way to find out.

"Who is it?" Jace called out, feeling oddly vulnerable being so alone.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The knock seemed to be too controlled to be caused by an intoxicated person, and surely a neighbour would have answered him right? He was so curious and yet so warry.

Who was at the door?

Taking a deep breath as he tried to remember that he lived in a nice neighbourhood and robbers didn't usually knock, Jace went to the door and opened it.

He would never, in a million years, have guessed who it was and even now seeing with his own eyes, Jace could hardly believe it.

"Hi," she said timidly.

Jace just stared, his mind blank. A robber would have been a lot simpler.

"What-" Jace began with a shake of his head to make sure he wasn't seeing things. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Christmas," she said with a cautious smile.

"I know that," Jace replied.

"And a little birdy told me you were all alone for Christmas so I thought-" she trailed off.

"You'd just show up unannounced and unwanted!" Jace snapped back.

Jace stomped away from the door, and farther into the apartment, fuming. "When I next see Jon I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! Little birdy indeed."

"Jon hasn't said a word to me," Celine said as she closed the door behind her and stood firmly in front of him.

Jace couldn't help but take her in as they stood there in silence. Under the gentle wrinkles of her middle aged skin, Jace could see the stunning profile he knew only from old photographs. Her blond hair had a few more silver strands than it had the last time he'd seen her. And then there were her eyes. Those same eyes he saw staring back at him in the mirror every day.

"Who was the little bird then?" Jace asked.

"It's not important," Celine replied. "What's important is that we spend Christmas together."

"Is Sebastian still living at your place?" Jace asked. Celine nodded. "Then we have nothing further to say to each other."

"You may have nothing to say to me," Celine began. "But I have things to say to you... if you are willing to listen."

Jace thought about it, and suspected he wouldn't be able to get her to leave if he didn't hear her out, so he nodded.

"I understood why you were so mad at the start," Celine continued. "You told me what he tried to do to Clary, and I saw him attempt something similar in my own house when she was there. I know you can't forgive him, and I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you to remember that he was a part of your life and my life for almost twenty years. You two were raised like brothers since his family all but abandoned him."

She paused for breath, and Jace didn't say anything. He knew this already.

"The way I looked at him, the disgust on my face, when he tried to hurt Clary that second time really affected him," Celine continued. "I've been something like a mother to him for most of his life and after that, well… he was different. He came back once you left and broke down sobbing in my arms, saying he wanted to change. What would you have done?"

"I would have kicked him out!" Jace snapped back. But then his mother gave him that look, the look he'd never learned how to stand up against. The look that broke down the types of walls children build around their heart.

"No you wouldn't have," Celine said softly. "You would have done just as I'd done if you'd been in my shoes."

But Jace was shaking his head. "Not if Clary was with me," he said. "I would never have let him near her."

"You were both gone," Celine reminded him. "There was no way me helping Seb would have brought harm to her. In fact, by helping him I could prevent him from ever trying to hurt her again."

"How do you figure that?" Jace scoffed.

"With my guidance and care Seb's been going to meetings," Celine began. "He's been sober. He's been seeing a therapist and taking his antidepressants. He's been better."

"A tiger doesn't change its stripes," Jace argued, but his tone wasn't so harsh now.

"Maybe tigers don't but people can change," Celine said, firmly but calmly. "You have changed so much since you've moved away from home, and he has changed since he's moved back."

Jace's resolve was wavering. He could feel it, almost like a physical barricade he'd put up in his mind, and it was swaying now back and forth.

"I'm not asking you to forgive him," Celine said. "I'm not asking you to see him or speak to him. I'm not even asking you to forgive me, but please will you let me spend Christmas with you?"

Suddenly, Jace started sobbing and he couldn't stop. Collapsing to the ground he curled into a ball as the tears poured from his eyes. Then he felt those oh so familiar arms wrap around him. Those same arms that had comforted him since the day he'd been born, easing the hurt from every scraped knee, stolen toy, and bruised feeling.

Uncurling from his ball, Jace reached up and wrapped his strong arms around his tiny mother. It was strange how small she seemed now and how big she was in his memories.

"Do you know how to make plum pudding?" Jace asked her when his crying had died down a little.

Happy almost holidays everyone. This chapter and the next two all take place over xmas. CoffeeandLiterature is still very busy and hasn't edited this yet. Connie Brown has edited this for typos and once CoffeeandLiterature edits I will likely re-upload like I did before, but I wanted to get it uploaded around the holidays instead of next year. Plus it's been almost a month since I updated last.

I have been writing this whole time though. The next two R&S chapters along with this one are all done. Plus I've plotted a bunch of future chapters. I started a new Malec fanfic that has I think two published chapters right now. It's called 'Forever Flows from Friendship' and was inspired from my childhood best friend. I have also been updating my 'Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist' Max/Zoey story called 'Girl Next Door' quite alot. Only got one chapter left till that's done. I also started another TMI Clace story that I haven't begun publishing yet. I am going to wait until 'Girl Next Door' is over and maybe 'Forever Flows from Friendship' as well. The new Clace story is a Fantasy AU called 'Protect the Princess.'

*UPDATE* Re-uploaded 3 days later after editing by CoffeeandLiterature. She noticed I totally forgot the Lightwoods were staying in town after Aline's wedding and helped me fixed the continuity error. sigh. This story is so freaking long and complicated I keep forgetting what I've already said.

Sneak Peek Chapter 180

"You picked the right profession," Clary interrupted in that annoyed sibling tone. "Doesn't mean I wanna hear about all the eye diseases I don't have."

"Ah, but the more the know the less likely you are to miss your next regularly scheduled eye exam," Jon replied, grinning.

"Like you'd ever let me miss one," Clary huffed.

"True," Jon laughed. "Oh alright fine. How about an optical party trick instead of facts?"

"You mean like an optical illusion or something?" Clary asked.

"Kinda," Jon said. Then he sat up on the couch dislodging Paige's head from his shoulder. "Okay, so see that big red Santa over there?"

Clary turned to look. "Yeah," she said.

"I'm sure you've experienced this before, but if you stare at it for a while without moving your gaze at all, when you eventually look away at a white wall, you'll see the colour greeny blue in the same shape as the red object you were staring at," Jon explained.

"Okay yeah that kinda sounds right," Clary said, uncertainly. Paige couldn't help but grin. Jon had told her this already quite a few times.