Convincing her parents to let her ditch this holiday in favour of visiting her boyfriend's parents had been quite the effort, but in the end it was worth it. Between the baby pictures Jon hadn't wanted his mom to share and hearing stories about his childhood from Luke, Paige had learned quite a bit about her boyfriend in the last few days.
Paige had enjoyed every moment of the festivities - from Jocelyn's famous german apple pancakes to listening to Jon bore everyone's ears off with his endless talk about eye diseases.
"Retinitis Pigmentosa is a really brutal one," Jon was saying as everyone sat together in the living room. "It's hereditary, causing cell death of the rods, the eventual atrophy of several retinal layers, and finally total blindness. Not super common though." He paused as if trying to remember something. "Not like cataracts and glaucoma. If you had to pick though, it's best to have cataracts since that is super noticeable and easily fixed. Glaucoma is more of a silent vision threat. No symptoms until real irreversible damage is done. In fact, it's quite amazing how many retina problems and diseases can occur without symptoms."
"You picked the right profession," Clary interrupted in that annoyed sibling tone. "Doesn't mean I wanna hear about all the eye diseases I don't have."
"Ah, but the more the know the less likely you are to miss your next regularly scheduled eye exam," Jon replied, grinning.
"Like you'd ever let me miss one," Clary huffed.
"True," Jon laughed. "Oh alright fine. How about an optical party trick instead of facts?"
"You mean like an optical illusion or something?" Clary asked.
"Kinda," Jon said. Then he sat up on the couch dislodging Paige's head from his shoulder. "Okay, so see that big red Santa over there?"
Clary turned to look. "Yeah," she said.
"I'm sure you've experienced this before, but if you stare at it for a while without moving your gaze at all, when you eventually look away at a white wall, you'll see the greeny blue colour in the same shape as the red object you were staring at," Jon explained.
"Okay yeah that kinda sounds right," Clary said, uncertainly. Paige couldn't help but grin. Jon had told her this already quite a few times.
"All the while you were staring at that red object your red cones were firing signals to the brain saying 'red', so when you look away all the red cones are overstimulated and unable to transmit for a few seconds," Jon continued his explanation. "Which means only your blue and green can fire, and since white is a mixture of all the colours, missing a colour changes the image."
"Huh," Clary said thoughtfully. "Okay that is kinda interesting. Definitely cooler than genetic eye diseases."
"More relative at the very least," Luke smiled.
"The effect is called an after image," Jon explained.
"Are you going to make her do the blind spot test too?" Paige asked grinning.
"Do I have a choice?" Clary asked, resigned.
"No," Jon continued. "Close your left eye and then fixate on a point straight in front of you." Paige watched Clary do what her brother said. "Now hold up your right thumb, like this, just a few inches away from where you are looking. What you should see is the top of your thumb disappear completely. If it isn't working move your thumb around slightly until it works."
For a while Clary just looked dubious until suddenly she said. "Wow, my thumb's gone."
"That's your blind spot," Jon said. "When both eyes are open it is hidden by the other eye covering the gap, but even with only one eye open your brain can fill in the missing information as long as new information doesn't enter the blind area like a thumb. At that point it can no longer guess what's there like it can with the background and the object disappears."
"Okay, so why do I have a spot in my vision that's blind?" Clary asked. "That doesn't sound like a good thing."
Jon laughed. "Everyone has one," he explained. "The optic nerve that sends all the vision signals from the eyes into the visual pathway has to connect to the eye somewhere. The optic disc is the cross section of the nerve as seen from inside the retina and it doesn't have any photoreceptor cells, rods and cones, so it's incapable of vision."
"Okay that is kinda cool," Clary admitted.
"The optic disc is located about fifteen degrees temporal of the macula, or the part of your retina you use to see straight ahead, hence why holding your thumb a few inches away works."
Turning her eyes from the siblings, Paige looked around the room and noticed Jocylen beaming at her son like he was the light of her life.
"I'm just so happy you decided to finish school!" Jocelyn exclaimed when Jon and Clary had a pause in their conversation.
Then to Paige's great embarrassment Jocelyn turned to her and added, "And I have to thank you again for encouraging him. I doubt he would be about to graduate without you."
Now Jocelyn was beaming at Paige, and she could feel the warmth in her cheeks. Even if it had been a topic on their first date, she didn't believe this was all her doing.
"Oh come on mom," Jon groaned at his mother. "Don't you think I had something to do with it too?"
"No. Actually I don't," Jocelyn sighed. "You seem to let women just drag you around by your heart so I am thanking every god I know that you finally found one that won't abuse the power."
"Oh geez mom," Jon groaned before strategically removing himself from the situation by burying his face in the couch cushion. Paige couldn't help him. Though still embarrassed herself, she was now rooted to the spot trying to contain her laughter.
Watching Jon be embarrassed by his parents had been quite the highlight of her whole trip. It was so adorable the way he turned red and hid his face when his mother teased him. Paige couldn't help but love that. In fact, she couldn't help but love him. She'd known for a while now that she was in love, but hadn't yet gotten up the nerve to tell him. Something was holding her back and she suspected she knew what it was, though she wasn't very impressed with herself if it was the case.
Christmas dinner was served and conversation ended while everyone stuffed their face with turkey until they wanted to explode. Paige thoroughly enjoyed everything about the meal, but her favourite part had to be watching everyone become catatonic as the whole group made their way from the dining room table to the living room sofa.
"I'll never look at food again," Jon said. They were all sitting - or rather half laying - on the couches and chairs in the living room holding their stomachs. Paige was sitting beside Jon on the sofa, her head resting on his shoulder. She liked the feel of him beside her. There was something different about the way he could put her at ease more than anyone else she'd ever met. Even if she'd loved men before him, she hadn't loved them like this. The more she thought about it the more she hoped he felt the same way too. For her, this was feeling more and more like a permedent kinda love, which made it all the more terrifying if it fell apart. Still, at the moment she couldn't bring herself to worry, not with the warm family atmosphere and a stomach full of turkey.
"And by that you mean until tomorrow morning," Paige teased him, leaning over to lay her head on his shoulder.
"Nope. I think I'm going breakfast free tomorrow," Jon countered.
"I'll believe that when I see it," Paige chuckled.
"Don't know me so well," Jon grumbled as he leaned into her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Let me pretend."
"Very well then," Paige smiled at him. "No breakfast for Jon tomorrow."
"Excellent," Jon sighed, laying his head back on the couch so his eyes faced the ceiling. She knew he wasn't looking at the ceiling though since his eyes were closed.
"You guys are so adorable," Jocelyn said, beaming at them. "It's nothing like when we met Jace-"
"MOM!" Clary growled.
"Well it isn't," Jocelyn rebutted. "He was so stand-offish at first, while Paige just fits right in!"
"You made the poor guy nervous!" Clary yelled at her mother. "Of course he seemed stand-offish at the start, but he was fine the following year when his mom visited."
"Jace didn't get you back in school though," Jocelyn replied with a grin.
"I'm going to bed," Clary sighed as she stood up and made her way up the stairs.
"Night," Jocelyn called after her daughter, lifting her glass of eggnog and rum towards Clary's retreating back.
"You shouldn't bring up Jace," Jon told his mother firmly once they could hear Clary's footsteps safely on the other floor.
"But aren't you still living with him?" Jocelyn asked her son.
"Yeah and that's weird enough as it is without you bringing it up," Jon replied.
"Fine," Jocelyn sighed. Then she narrowed her eyes at them and added, "How long have you two been going out now?"
"Since June," Jon replied, clearly confused as to why his mother was asking.
"June," Jocelyn continued as she counted on her fingers. "Let's see that's what like seven months then?"
"Don't make me count months right now, mom," Jon whined. "I ate too much turkey and drank too much nog to think about anything remotely math related."
"Let's say seven," Jocelyn confirmed as she did the counting herself on her outstretched fingers before hiccuping. Everyone had had some rum with eggnog but it was clear from her demeanor that Joclyen had had the most.
"That enough months," Jocelyn hiccuped again. "When do I get grandchildren?"
"Oh my god mom!" Jon mumbled as he leaned down to bury his face in his legs which he raised up to his chest as if trying to get into the fetal position. It was by far the most embarrassed Paige had seen him the whole trip.
"What?" Jocelyn said, looking unperturbed. "Clary sure as hell isn't gonna give me any! Even when she and Jace were together I had low hopes, but since they broke up I got none."
"Please stop talking," Jon's small voice made it out from beneath the pillow that hid his face from view.
"What?" Jocelyn said. "I'm not getting any younger you know. Most of my friends are grandparents already." She took another sip from her eggnog before continuing. "It's just a question, relax." She turned to Paige and was about to say something else when her husband cut her off.
"I think you've had a bit too much to drink there," Luke said, getting up and moving toward his wife. "Time for bed I think."
Though clearly against the idea, Jocelyn allowed herself to be guilded from the room and up the stairs.
Paige had her eyes closed now. She too felt tired, but she was so comfortable on the couch her will to move wasn't very strong. If she'd had the energy she'd have laughed, but she was too warm and content to do more than smile. The whole encounter had been quite something, a story she'd likely tell again and again. Jon's face was still buried in his arms which made her smile all the more. He really was adorable when he was embarrassed.
The sound of a bedroom door closing told Paige his parents had gone to bed. They had the living room all to themselves. It was kinda nice to have privacy, but after a moment Paige wondered if it wasn't a good idea for them to follow suit and head to bed. Her eyes lids were getting heavy from the food, and she felt so safe and warm it was hard to fight sleep. Jon still had a double bed in his room despite having moved out many years ago, so finding them somewhere to sleep had been simple. They hadn't even had to blow up a mattress or use a pull out bed or anything.
"Should we go up to bed too?" Paige asked, her eyes still closed.
"I can't believe my mother said that!" Jon groaned. From the muffledness of the sound, Paige guessed he still had his face buried in the pillow.
"Well she was drunk," Paige giggled.
"Yeah but-" he broke off, a strange anxiety in his voice she didn't understand. Paige opened her eyes to look right at him, the anxious in his voice making her feel much more awake. "I mean- don't worry about what she said okay?"
"Worry?" Paige asked, confused. "Why would I worry?" Indeed the only thing worrying her at the moment was the anxious tone of his voice.
"Don't feel pressured or anything," Jon mumbled next, finally looking up from the pillow he'd been covering his face with.
"I like your parents," Paige said simply, trying to put him at ease though not really sure how since she didn't understand what was bothering him.
"And you know they love you," Jon continued. "I love you. That isn't the point. I mean I don't want you to freak out about what mom said."
"You love me?" Paige asked in a small voice, her heart suddenly beating very fast, and all thoughts of sleep forgotten.
Jon just shrugged. "You know that," he said. Then he began again as if he was going to keep on fretting about what his mother said, so Paige interrupted him.
"No I didn't," Paige said softly. "You've never told me that before."
"I haven't?" Jon said slowly as if very confused by this information. Paige shook her head and suddenly Jon's face turned even brighter red, if that were possible. The only way she could describe the look on his face was the look of someone who wanted so badly to escape an embarrassing situation that they wished the earth would rise up and swallow them whole.
"Okay, well then- um like yeah- so that's out there and we don't have to talk about it, in fact maybe we should just go to bed," Jon said very quickly as his eyes darted around the room. "Yes. Good idea. Sleeping. I can't do anything stupid while I'm asleep. Good plan. Okay let's g-"
He made to get up off the couch, but Paige reached out to stop him. Gently she held onto his arm, and he turned to look at her. "I love you too," she said, staring right into his eyes.
Jon froze for just a moment before moving very quickly and pinning her under him on the couch. His kiss was urgent and needful. She reached up to wrap her arms around him as he broke the kiss to hug her back.
"I've been saying it in my head so much lately I guess I forgot that I hadn't actually said it out loud," Jon whispered in her ear. "I love you."
She squeezed him a little tighter, so grateful that she hadn't been the one to say it first. She felt sure now that it had been the fear of her love not being returned that had kept her from telling him.
"Breathing," Jon gasped. "Becoming an issue." Paige let go giggling. "You are stronger than you look," Jon chuckled as they sat up on the couch properly again.
"Thanks," Paige grinned at him. She couldn't believe how much lighter she was feeling. Just knowing he cared the way she did made all the difference in the world.
"Anyway about what mom said-" Jon began, determined it seemed, to continue to beat this dead horse.
Paige stopped him by putting a finger over his lips. "Doesn't bother me in the slightest," Paige told him firmly.
"So what you're saying is that you aren't gonna get scared off by my crazy mother," Jon said it almost like a question, but with too much certainly to make it one.
"Definitely not," Paige beamed at him. "I'm in this for the long haul. Understand?"
"I'm beginning too," Jon replied, his smile lighting up his whole face and making his eyes shine.
"Oh I just love you so much!" Jon exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her super tight.
"Can't breath," Paige gasped. But despite the lack of oxygen she couldn't remember being happier than this before in her entire life.
"Sorry," Jon mumbled, turning a little red again.
"It's okay," Paige laughed. "I earned that one. What do you say we go up to bed?"
"Yeah, ah, we could do that," Jon replied, but there was something in his tone that made her think he had more to say.
"You can tell me anything," Paige said gently. "Ask me anything. You know that right?" She didn't want to force him to explain, but at the same time she did want to know.
"It isn't like that," Jon answered. "It's just- I've been thinking for a while now, but I didn't want to rush you or-"
"Scare me off?" Paige chuckled.
"Yeah," Jon mumbled.
"So now that we've established that isn't a worry," Paige encouraged him to continue.
"I know you don't like visiting my place since you used to live there with your ex which must be weird for you," Jon continued. "But then your place isn't much better since you all but share a room with my sister which can't be that much fun either, I mean, I grew up across the hall from that girl and that was bad enough! Anyway so... we have been spending so much time together lately that we almost always sleep at one place or the other, which means going back and forth all the time, and I was just wondering… well…"
"Jon sweetie what are you trying to say?" Paige asked, gently.
"Do you wanna get an apartment together?" Jon asked quickly, as if the very idea of saying the words scared him shitless.
"Just the two of us?" Paige asked. Jon nodded. "An apartment neither of us or our friends has ever lived in before?" Jon nodded again. "A place that can be just ours?" He nodded again, looking unnecessarily nervous.
"I'd love that," Paige said, smiling at him happily.
"Oh thank god," Jon exhaled a great sigh of relief. "I thought it was maybe too soon to ask, but I was getting so sick of all the running around and getting caught making out by my sister and urg."
"It has been a bit strange that's for sure," Paige chuckled. Jon didn't reply, but instead leaned in to kiss her.
"I know your mom brought it up," Paige continued after they stopped kissing. "But do you mind if I ask more specifically?"
"You can always ask me anything," Jon told her as he raised his hand to gently stroke the side of her face.
"Do you want kids someday?" Paige asked.
"Yeah," Jon replied easily like he'd thought about this before now. "Kids would be great, but only with you my amazing white picket fence girl."
Now it was Paige's turn to blush. "Where the heck did you get that phrase from?" she asked.
"Oddly enough my sister," Jon chuckled. "She already kinda gave me a 'don't hurt my friend' lecture." He paused to laugh even more before adding. "Like some kind of parent."
"She is a protective one," Paige agreed. "I'll give her that."
"Yep," Jon concurred. "Treats her friends like family, that's my sister."
And yet Clary didn't want kids. It was something that had always confused Paige. She couldn't help but wonder how someone so mature could be against having kids of her own. Then again Paige wanting kids had always been such a core part of her being, she'd never really thought about it any other way. Rationally, she knew kids weren't for everyone, but still on a personal level she would never understand Clary's point of view.
"She could be your sister too one day," Jon chuckled, then seemed to realize what he'd just said and instantly tried to take it back.
Paige silenced him with a kiss then said grinning, "Won't scare me off."
This chapter is near and dear to my heart. It's quite a bit longer than my usual chapter probably before I was so fond of writing it. *Heart emoji here*
Also I have re-uploaded the previous chapter now that it's been edited. CoffeeandLiterature noticed a major continuity error I missed. Alec's parents are in town for Christmas, he didn't fly home. All fixed now though. :) And I've -rewritten parts of chapter 184 fixing the same mistake. Honestly without CoffeeandLiterature I'm not sure this story would make any sense anymore *laughing at myself emoji here*
Sneak Peek Chapter 182
"So any thoughts on what you want to do now post graduation?" Celine asked after a while. Jace was glad she'd broken the silence.
"Nothing new since June," Jace replied with a sigh. It was true that he'd finished his bachelor's degree months ago, but that didn't mean he'd figured anything out yet. "I'm still just working at the docks, lifting crates and stuff." He shrugged then added, "Student job, but it pays the bills now just the same as before graduation."
"I know how hard you worked to get your scholarship," Celine continued. "And if this makes you happy I'll back off, but I think you'd really enjoy putting to use the education you worked so hard to obtain."
"Yeah," Jace replied, uncomfortably.
"My son has a bachelor's degree in Marketing," Celine said proudly. "And that's something you managed all on your own. Without any financial help from me. Not many people can say that."
"I know for sure Alec can't," Jace chuckled.
"Ah yes I remember you telling me," Celine laughed with him. "He didn't much like you when you two were stuck as roommates that first year."
"Times sure have changed," Jace sighed.