Chapter 24

On tiptoe

On this late afternoon in the Sunny's galley, Usopp frowned in concentration. The objective was to cut into thin strips the slices of turkey cutlet placed on the worktop in front of him and he took another look at Sanji's recommendations which advised him not to exceed four centimeters in thickness. The gunner sighed inwardly as he applied himself even harder. He had no idea why the meat had to be cut this way: he had read the entire recipe several times and the explanation eluded him completely. Yet he tried to do his best. If the cook had instructed them to do it that way, it wasn't for nothing.

"I'm done," Nami groaned suddenly beside him. The sniper raised his head and examined the slices of mushroom that were spread out everywhere around her. He then had a sympathetic look. "How many kilos?"

"Three. Sanji-kun wrote four but I won't do more," She muttered, rubbing her aching wrist, "The peppers for lunch were already such a nightmare…"

"You can cook the pasta if you wanna rest," His crewmate offered.

"Good idea." The navigator agreed as she stretched to relax her back before reaching for a huge saucepan. "How you holding up?" She asked him then.

"It's okay but it takes time. Four centimeters thick, it takes forever…"

"There will be only the dressing to make afterwards."

"When you see Sanji, you can't imagine all this work. He always goes so fast…"

Nami nodded and lit the fire under her pot, then stared blankly at the water for a few moments. The crew had formed pairs to prepare the meals and wash the dishes. Not only were the quantities more manageable, but in addition, the task seemed shorter with a friend to distract themselves.

The young woman shook her head as she added salt to the simmering water. In reality, this technique worked more or less well depending on who the pair was and she glanced at the sniper who was focused on the meat.

Usopp and Robin proved to be the best in this area. They followed instructions and had enough patience not to complain after ten minutes. As for Franky and Chopper, they weren't bad with the dishes because they were always good company to pass time during this thankless task. Brook was, on the other hand, clumsy half of the time and Luffy was hardly able to be a serious buddy for cooking, his crewmate needing to watch over him at the same time. Nami had therefore created a special position for the captain, which consisted of providing the service: thanks to his elastic arms, the straw hat boy grabbed each dish in record time and no one had to get up at every turn.

As for Zoro…

Nami sighed as she dropped the pasta into the boiling water. She was in charge of the organization of the pairs and she had only put him once in the preparation of the meal with Robin. No one had complained and the meal had been okay, but still, the young woman had knowingly asked him to do the dishes more often since the beginning. And even then, she skipped his turn regularly. It wasn't like her to give someone special treatment, but the void left by the cook had shaken the whole crew and she was no exception.

Everyone suffered from the blond's absence, but she suspected that this distance was even more painful for the swordsman, although he seemed as unconcerned as usual at first sight. No doubt she was trying to help him in her own way. They all already met at least three times a day in the galley, she didn't want to impose it on him more than necessary. Zoro hadn't asked to be exempted from anything but no one had commented either on his less regular presence than the others. This tacit agreement seemed to suit everyone.

Nami slowly stirred the contents of her saucepan so the pasta wouldn't stick to the bottom and she glanced at the clock to monitor the cooking time. Another six minutes.

"Have you heard from Sanji?"

The navigator shook her head slowly. "I called yesterday. Liam told me he wasn't back yet."

"This old cook must give him a hard time. He didn't look very friendly back then," His friend remembered.

"It's been almost twenty days," The young woman murmured.

"As soon as he gets back, he'll call us."

Nami bit her lip. "We're sailing away from Vorgo's door day by day and who knows when we can call each other when the signal is lost. The Log-Pose indicates an area with no door that we know of and I thought we'd use those last few days to find out how he's doing…"

Still focused on his task, Usopp grabs a new, sharper knife. "Staying back is the hardest and I know what I'm talking about," He said, placing his new strips in the pot in front of them, "When my father left, even though I was too young, I still remember the anguish of waiting for news I never got. I made myself sick watching the ocean without knowing what else to do. Keeping busy is easier."

"I understand but I'd just like to know if he's fine," She sighed. "It's hard for us too and… I don't know, he could have called Zoro at least… If I was separated from Luffy, I'd have wanted to hear from him every day as long as possible."

At these words, Usopp grimaced. "We don't know when we can see him again. Calling every day and then knowing they can no longer do it is surely even more difficult. They may prefer to set their own rules and not depend on outside elements."

"Probably, that sounds like them…" She then shook her head again as she watched the end of cooking. "Zoro doesn't seem to suffer more than that; he didn't ask once if I'd reached him. Although it's hard to know what he really thinks… On the other hand, I'd have thought Sanji-kun would want to talk to him even if he'd have denied it."

"They won't say anything explicitly, they're both the same in this regard," The sniper approved. "At least, they have one thing in common."

"I'll never understand them," Nami lamented while turning off the heat under her saucepan. She then emptied it carefully into the colander, then turned to her friend after wiping her hands, looking determined. "Come on, let's hurry! The sauce isn't gonna make itself!"

Zoro grabbed his fork and started eating his plate of cutlet and pasta with mushrooms in silence. Beside him, his captain was wolfing down his dinner and the fencer spotted his piece of bread on the table before grabbing it so it wouldn't disappear.

"The next island looks quite ordinary. No Marines base or any particular sign," Nami explained as she unfolded her napkin.

"How long will it be in sight?" Brook wanted to know.

"Two or three days, I think."

"I hope they have quality wood; passing through the doors has damaged the structure of the Sunny," Franky grumbled while opening a bottle of cola.

"Really?" Usopp wondered, frowning.

"The doors may be made up of sound waves and I don't know where we appear exactly, but what is sure is that the wood undergoes much greater twists than usual and with all the round trips we've done lately, I'll need to strengthen the hull," The cyborg detailed.

"Sunny should be safe now, we don't plan to use a new door anytime soon," Robin pointed out as she delicately seasoned her dish.

"Are there no other doors where we're going, Nami?" The little reindeer inquired, turning to her.

"No, not that I know of. But I leave Liam's detector permanently plugged in just in case to list them."

"Too bad. I was hoping we could call Sanji from there," The doctor added, disappointed.

"No news?" Franky asked.

"No, but it probably doesn't mean anything," Usopp replied, "He has plenty to keep busy with everything he has planned."

"Despite the presence of the doors, the East Blue remains a rather distant destination," Brook approved while tasting his pasta.

"What if that cook who raised him doesn't want to come to the All Blue with him?" Chopper suddenly worried.

"Of course he'll come; what are you talking about?" Nami rebuffed him gently. "All Blue is very important to him too, Sanji-kun told us."

"Why didn't he come right away then?" The cyborg pointed out, suspicious.

"From what you heard during their conversation by Den-Den Mushi, this man doesn't lack character," Robin reminded them. "I'm sure he has an excellent reason for not coming on his own immediately."

"I hope so because I wouldn't want Sanji to be alone. It's because of him if he didn't want to go back with us!" The reindeer got indignant. His voice was vibrating with anger and it was unusual for him. His reproach triggered an awkward silence around the table.

"You don't even know him, Chopper," Usopp pointed out quietly after a few seconds.

"But if he had come right away, Sanji wouldn't have had to wait for him and he might have gone back with us!" His friend persisted.

"Opening a restaurant takes time," Franky said.

"Not to mention that he also wanted to help the inhabitants," Robin remembered.

"Discovering the All Blue was our cook's dream, it makes sense that he wants to stay there longer than us," The musician noted.

A sniff was then heard while the little reindeer put down his cutlery, his eyes full of tears. "It's true, I'm sorry. I just… I miss Sanji…"

"We all miss him, Chopper," Nami reassured him.

Silence fell once again in the room, only disturbed by the sound of Luffy's intense chewing and the more discreet sound of Zoro's cutlery against his plate. The crew doctor tried to swallow back his tears and Usopp got up to fetch him a tissue. Opening a drawer, he found a packet of lollipops and frowned. "Hey, I didn't know Sanji likes sweets," He wondered as he found the packet of tissues next to it.

When he handed it to the little reindeer, Chopper's tears suddenly rolled down his cheeks. "It-It was for m-me. He always kept some in case I felt s-sad."

Chopper burst into tears and the sniper slowly closed the drawer before sitting back down without a word. He then glanced at the navigator in front of him who was staring at their friend, her face pale. Beside him, he also noticed that Franky was studying Zoro's reaction out of the corner of his eye, visibly uncomfortable. Brook was also frozen above his plate.

It had been several days since the little reindeer had had a fit of tears when he mentioned the cook and seeing him relapse seemed to make the whole crew relive the harsh reality of the first days of their departure.

At last, Robin stood up and put a hand on the back of the little doctor's chair. "Let's get some fresh air," She suggested. Chopper nodded and the archaeologist followed him before they walked through the door.

Nami then seemed to emerge from her torpor. "L-Luffy, give us the next dish please." The captain automatically stretched out his left arm and placed the fruit salad in the middle of the table while he finished his plate with his other hand. The young woman helped herself to a small bowl, having lost her appetite to finish her dish which she gave to the straw hat boy.

"The meat is super tender!" Franky suddenly pointed out and his forced enthusiasm was not lost on anyone.

"It absorbed all the cream," Brook agreed, playing his game.

"Sanji had noted to cut it finely, that's surely why," Usopp informed them limply, taking back his fork.

The conversation threatened to die out again and the navigator cleared her throat. "About the shopping we'll need to do, I have formed the pairs," She told them. "Franky and Luffy, you'll go and get wood for the Sunny as well as cola. With Robin, I'll go find out the loading time of the Log-Pose and as much information as possible on the New World because it's probably the last island before the Red Line. Brook, I count on you to assist Chopper in order to replenish supplies of medicines," She continued, turning to the skeleton who nodded.

She then bit her lip, looking undecided. "Usopp, you'll go with Zoro to do the shopping," She added finally, casting a furtive glance at the swordsman who was chewing his last piece of bread. "It might be heavy; you need someone strong given the supplies we need and since Luffy can't take care of the food… But it shouldn't be too long, I've already made the list," She pointed to prove her point. "Is that okay?"

Another silence settled in the galley until the fencer understood that the navigator was speaking to him. He lifted his head and swallowed his bite before shrugging. "Fine."

"Perfect!" The young woman rejoiced immediately. "Who wants dessert? What can I get you?"

Nami missed the blank stare the swordsman gave her in return.

Zoro shifted all his weight to his right leg before rushing forward. His left foot hit the floor of the crow's nest hard and his two swords cut through the air in front of him. He then spun on his leg and his blades followed him, creating a whirlwind of air in the room.

The fencer breathed hard and his gaze was fixed on the point he had set himself. He wasn't on watch tonight and he was taking advantage of the quietness that the night always brought to the Sunny to focus. He needed this intensive concentration to perfect his techniques but also to maintain the state of relative calm he was feeling since their departure from All Blue.

The swordsman didn't know by what miracle he still managed to focus his attention after the surge of emotions he had felt twenty days earlier. Indeed, everything had seemed to slip through his hands the moment his defenses shattered and he implored the blond to let him go.

Never before had he found himself so vulnerable and exposed in front of anyone. Even Kuina's death hadn't had that effect on him. When he had lost his best friend, his heart had been ripped out of him, but it hadn't been his doing and the grief had been as dreadful as his anger. This time, however, the swordsman was imposing this ordeal on himself and he was torn between despair and bitterness.

Zoro had expected not to be able to say a word for days and to have to meditate on his distress but in the end, he had resumed his routine almost instantly as soon as he had set foot on the Sunny. Maybe it was because the cook had responded so perfectly to his unspeakable request. Sanji had understood his silent prayer and he had had the courage to face it. The blond had lived up to his commitment with the swordsman and he had let his companion go by complying with his wish.

Zoro knew that he objectively had very little chance of ever meeting someone again who might know him so well and respect his choices so completely, up to sacrificing his own desires. Of course, Luffy was unique and they shared this sense of honor that always made the captain understand the deep reasons behind his first mate's behavior. In his wake, the crew had learned to accept the fencer's logic which, nevertheless, often remained incomprehensible to them and it was already more than the swordsman could have hoped for. But Sanji was on yet another level. He was incomparable in his way of perceiving even the hidden meaning of Zoro's own actions and pushing him to surpass himself. It was largely thanks to this instinct and this innate discernment that they had been able to forge such a bond.

So maybe Zoro was still standing because his companion had shown himself worthy of them and allowed the fencer to continue training for his dream today. However, this last act was also the most painful because it reminded the swordsman of the absence of the man who had supported him until the end.

Zoro managed to make do with the unreal absence of the cook, although he found him at every move he made and at each place of the Sunny he went. Wherever Zoro went and whatever he did, the emptiness jumped out at him. When he was sleeping for hours on deck without being awakened by the slightest kick. When he was entering the galley to have a drink where no one was waiting for him. When he was sitting around the table for meals and Sanji's pompous language to the girls was oddly lacking. When he was no longer hearing the blond's sarcastic remarks about his training which Sanji considered ridiculous. When he was watching over the sea from the crow's nest and no snacks were left to help him carry out his task. When his nights were as cold and lifeless as the bottom of the ocean.

And despite everything, Zoro managed to live. A little more mechanically than usual and a bit off, but he got up without too much difficulty in the morning and he carried out each of his usual activities with determination. Yet he forced himself not to let his thoughts wander too much and at night, he stubbornly avoided walking past their room. Zoro hadn't crossed the threshold once since their departure and he was counting on never setting foot there again.

This room symbolized all that he had lost and between these four walls, Zoro was realistic: his defenses, whose contours were already fuzzy, could easily yield. And there was no way for him to flinch when Sanji had had enough strength to offer the swordsman what he had asked for. Could Zoro ever look himself in the eye if he fell apart and the cook found out he had failed after all they had been through? The fencer knew he wouldn't get over it if he betrayed the promise he had made not only to Kuina but also to Sanji now. Zoro couldn't live knowing he had failed them.

Zoro sighed and put his two blades next to the third against the crow's nest wall to catch his breath. The hardest thing to manage on a daily basis remained his crewmates. He knew that each of them was suffering and that they were trying to show compassion for him at the same time, but he more often had the impression of reading pity than real empathy in their eyes actually.

If it was up to him, he would only stay with Robin and Luffy. His captain because he was behaving exactly as usual except for his complaints about the quality of the food, and the archaeologist because she was the only one who didn't look worryingly at him every time he crossed the deck in front of his friends. Maybe she didn't think less of it, but at least she had the decency not to show anything and the fencer was grateful to her. For his part, Usopp seemed to have understood his reasoning and he was doing his best not to evoke the cook in a tearful way but he didn't avoid giving the fencer a few concerned glances here and there. Similarly, Brook had given up playing ballads for him to express his emotions, but he still tended to do it for the rest of the crew, which got on his nerves.

On the contrary, if he had thought Franky would leave him alone, his attitude had slowly changed over the days and the cyborg no longer hid his concerned looks when the swordsman didn't react to the mention of the blond. However, the reaction that surprised him the most was Nami's. He didn't remember ever seeing her be considerate of anyone if it wasn't in her interest, and her way of sparing him was even more painful to him than her usual tyranny.

Zoro was yet forced to admit that the most unbearable for him was Chopper's attitude. This obvious fact hurt him because he sincerely loved the little reindeer. Indeed, he was usually feeling a brotherly tenderness for the doctor he felt for no one else. Fortunately, Chopper had stopped trying to cheer him up at all costs after a few days, but seeing him crying constantly annoyed Zoro at least as much as his unjustified outbursts against the whole world to find an explanation for the absence of the cook. So whenever Chopper blamed Zeff for not coming fast enough or All Blue for existing, Zoro needed to make a tremendous effort not to interfere. The doctor's reaction seemed particularity stupid to him and just like during the Davy Back Fight, the fencer wanted to remind him that he couldn't complain or blame fate every time he felt unhappy.

Yet Zoro didn't. No doubt his guilt had a lot to do with it because he knew that Sanji would probably have wanted to rejoin the crew at some point and the swordsman couldn't bear the idea that he was going to deprive his friends of the cook without them even knowing the real reason. But he couldn't tell them.

He was selfish. He was letting the fault lie with the blond's choice when Sanji was actually taking responsibility for the swordsman's decision.

He was ashamed. He didn't want to see the compassion or astonishment on the faces of his crewmates.

He was miserable. He was missing Sanji badly.

So Zoro was keeping quiet and he was training. He was pretending not to see the concerned glances and ignored the expressions of sympathy. All that mattered to him was to redeem himself in the eyes of the cook for asking him not to take his place among them again. And to erase his debt, he had only one option: he needed to defeat Mihawk. He needed to realize his dream.

I hope you like Zoro's reasoning.

From now on, chapters will alternate between what happens for Sanji and what happens for Zoro and the crew.