Jace wasn't quite sure why he was here. It felt strangely wrong sitting in this fancy restaurant across from a woman he'd just meet. The concept of a blind date felt very odd to him.

When he thought about it, this was all really Annika's fault. At their most recent video game hang out session, she'd been teasing him endlessly about how he hadn't been on a date since before Clary. He'd tried to point out that they'd dated, but that had only prompted her to give him a very pointed look and a lecture.

"We didn't date, you idiot," Annika had said. "We just used each other to mend our broken hearts, and no changing the subject. You, my friend, need to get back on the horse."

"Doesn't that apply to you too?" he'd shot back, hoping to stop the whole conversation in its tracks. The results of his remark were quite the opposite of what he'd hoped as it prompted her to tell him about all the dates she'd been going on. By the time she was done listing all the guys on a scale of attractiveness vs intelligence, Jace had had enough.

"Alright fine," he'd said. "You win. You are back on the horse, and I'm stuck in the mud. Happy now?"

Even looking back on it now, Jace wasn't quite sure how he'd been roped into this. After all, he didn't remember agreeing to go on a blind date, and yet here he was sitting in this fancy restaurant. Definitely Annika's fault.

"Have you decided what you want to eat yet?" the lady across from him asked. Jace knew she'd told him her name when he'd first sat down, but he was having a hard time remembering it.

"Oh no, sorry," Jace said, picking up the menu.

She smiled at him. "Spacing out I see," she said.

"It's been a long time since I was on a date," Jace admitted.

"Fair enough," the woman smiled at him before picking up her menu. Jace followed suit, and by the time the waiter appeared they were both ready to order.

Jace really wasn't sure how to start. The kinda dates he used to go on had been about getting laid and that was it. He'd lay on the charm and see what happened, then move on if it didn't work. With Clary they'd become a couple without ever going on a date, and Annika had come on to him at a gym, which meant he'd never actually been on a normal first date before. A date where you try to get to know the other person to see if you are a good love match was something he'd never experienced before and he'd technically lied just now. Jace just wasn't quite ready to tell this lady - who's name he should remember - how very much of a novice he was.

"Why don't I start then," the lady smiled at him. Jace so wished he could remember her name. He felt like an idiot. "Got any siblings?"

"Only child," Jace replied. "What about you?"

"One sister," she answered.

Jace wasn't sure what to say after that. How did people keep a conversation going in this kind of situation? All he really wanted to ask was for her name again, but that felt very rude somehow.

"This is the part where you ask me a question," she said. Jace couldn't tell why she was smiling. He hoped she wasn't holding back laughter at his total failure to make conversation.

"How do you get along with your sister?" Jace tried his hand at a question.

"Once she stopped calling me Gracy Wacey just to piss me off we got along great." And just like that Jace remembered her name. "We are good friends now."

"I can't imagine what it's like to have a sibling," Jace continued.

"It's like having a classmate who lives with you, and tries to steal your clothes," Grace said with a hint of laughter. "Oh, and steals all the attention of your parents for being the baby."

"Sounds a bit frustrating," Jace replied. He couldn't help thinking that by her definition his mother had basically treated his childhood friend Sebastian like Jace's sibling.

"It can be," Grace agreed. "But it's also kinda the best."

Jace tried his hand at small talk while they waited for their meal. He learned that she had just graduated from university, the same as him, but unlike him Grace already had a plan on what she wanted to do next. She'd gone to school to be a dental hygienist, and had already been working an entry level job in her field for months. Jace couldn't help but envy her. He was, however, saved from having to explain that his career had dead ended by the arrival of dinner.

While they were eating Jace took a moment to really notice her. He tried with all his might to see her the way he'd seen Clary, even so he couldn't notice more than the simple things. She was quite attractive, with brown eyes and hair and a kind smile, but apart from that he couldn't really tell her apart from any other girl he might happen upon on the street. Jace could remember like it was yesterday how totally aware of Clary he'd been after first meeting her. Jace could have described every freckle on her face without pausing to think. He'd never been able to effortlessly memorize every inch of another person the way he had with her.

"The food must be really good," Grace said. "Either that or you are spacing out again."

"The food is really good," Jace replied, deciding not to explain his thoughts to her.

When Jace next looked up from his food, he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. Just because he'd been thinking about her red hair shouldn't cause him to see it among a crowd. It was probably some other woman with brilliantly red hair. Jace tried to look away, but found his eyes once again looking past Grace to the entrance of the restaurant.

It wasn't until the crowd thinned that he realized she was real. What he didn't understand was what she was doing here. Her eyes were darting around as if looking for someone. Jace could only hope she wasn't also here to meet a blind date, when suddenly her eyes locked with his. The look on her face, and the way her whole body swerved in his direction made Jace realize Clary was here looking for him.

"There you are," Clary said as she approached. Her eyes were still locked on him and only him. Jace felt pretty certain she hadn't even noticed Grace yet.

"I've been looking for you," Clary continued. "You weren't at home so I called Alec and he said you'd be here and here you are." She almost seemed relieved, though Jace could hardly understand why. Couldn't whatever she had to say wait? Why had she tracked him down so diligently? Hadn't Alec told her why he was at this restaurant?

Jace was about to reply that she'd found him and then draw attention to Grace sitting across from him, but he didn't get the chance to say a word before Clary started speaking again. This time with an urgency in her voice that silenced Jace.

"I haven't been entirely honest with you," Clary began. Jace couldn't help but be curious to hear what she had to say. "You figured out what I'd done, but when you asked me why I did it I was too scared to tell you the truth, and Jace you deserve the truth." She took a deep breath before continuing.

"I know I don't deserve another chance, but I want one. I want to be worthy of you. I promise I won't ever take you for granted ever again. I know now what it means to love someone so much you can't imagine your life without them. That's why I flew your mom in for Christmas and took care of you when you were sick. I want to be part of your life, Jace, even if that means just being your friend."

She stopped for a moment, but Jace felt too stunned to speak.

"I know it took me too long to really understand what it is to love someone," Clary continued in a slightly softer voice. Though it hardly mattered how she spoke as most of the restaurant was listening to her by now. "All I can say is that I was lost, lost for so long and then even more lost without you. I know it's taken me too long to realize what was inside my own heart, but I-I hope it's not too late." Her voice softened as she added, "Because Jace, if I was granted one wish, I would wish for you and only you. I love you so much. I wish I could take back everything I did that hurt you. I don't want anything to ever hurt you again."

The silence stretched one for what was probably mere seconds, but felt to Jace like forever.

Jace hardly knew what to do. Clary had never done anything like this before. She'd never made a grand romantic gesture, not once in their whole relationship. Yes she'd come running to him the moment Simon dumped her, but Jace couldn't really recall any other moment where she'd laid all her cards on the table, and she'd never embarrassed herself in public for the sake of love. He couldn't help but be incredibly moved.

It was then that Clary seemed to realize that some people in the restaurant were staring at her. She turned and saw Grace sitting across from Jace. Her face was already turning a brilliant embarrassed shade of red when she spun around and took in the full extent of her little speeches' audience.

"Oh god," Clary whispered. "You're on a date aren't you." She'd lost the tunnel vision focus she'd had when she'd first seen Jace, and was clearly only now grasping the extent of her situation. He had quite possibly never seen her cheeks so flushed before.

"Clary this is Grace," Jace said, holding up a hand to gesture to the woman sitting across from him.

"Sorry," Clary said directly to Grace as she started backing away. "I'll just go then. Yeah gonna leave, and well, you know how to reach me, and sorry about the whole date thing, and I'm betting the whole restaurant thinks I'm nuts, and yeah, so bye." She'd almost backed her way out of the entire building by the time she'd finished muttering to herself. At some point she turned around and sprinted for the door.

It was Grace who broke the long silence that followed.

"I've been on quite a few blind dates, but I have to admit that's a first," Grace said with humor in her voice. "And she is very clearly crazy about you to make a fool of herself in front of an entire restaurant like that. The only thing I don't understand is why you agreed to go on this date with me. Why aren't you with her?"

"It's complicated," Jace replied.

"No it's not," Grace stated, firmly. "Sure the events can be complicated to recount, and it can seem like everything is against you, but in my experience love isn't all that complicated. You either care or you don't, and you very clearly care, like a lot."

Jace was about to ask her how she could possibly know that, but Grace seemed to predict his reply.

"I saw the way your eyes lit up when you saw her," Grace told him. "And trust me this-" she gestured at the two of them- "never gonna happen after that, but I'll admit you have piqued my curiosity. In the end, being in or not in a relationship all really boils down to one thing so what's the one reason you decided to sit at this table with me instead of being with her?"

Jace knew she was right. It was actually very annoying how right she was. Then again Grace was friends with Annika, and any friend of hers Jace had to expect to be highly intelligent.

"She doesn't want kids," Jace admitted.

"Ah, and you do," Grace replied.

"Not now or anything," Jace said, then he laughed. "Fresh out of university with no career and no plans means now would be a disaster." His voice sobered as he added, "But I want the option. One day when we are ready, kinda thing."

"My sister got married right after high school," Grace said, though Jace had no idea how this was related to what they were talking about. "And she started having babies right away. If her crazy life has taught me anything, it's that you are never really ready for them, no matter how ready you think you are."

"I suppose," Jace said, but somehow he felt she was wrong about this. Even if there was no perfect time to have kids, surely there was a wrong time.

"So basically what you are telling me is that you aren't with the woman you love now because you think you might want different things in the future?" Grace summed his situation up.

"Well when you put it like that," Jace whined.

"I'm guessing you've already explored the whole she might change her mind thing?" Grace asked.

"Not gonna happen," Jace replied.

"Even so you might change your mind," Grace reminded him. "I usually think I'll want kids someday, but when I visit my baby sister and her house of chaos I find myself second guessing the whole concept."

"I suppose," Jace said.

"Well either way this has definitely been the most entertaining date I've been on in a while," Grace chuckled. "Oh, and I will be paying for my own dinner." She took a few more bites of that dinner before adding, "Annika told me you had an ex you weren't quite over yet, but she neglected to mention how much in love with you that ex was."

"Honestly I didn't even know she still cared that much," Jace replied. He still couldn't quite wrap his head around the whole thing. It almost felt like it had happened to someone else.

"Ah, so that was atypical of her then," Grace surmised.

"Very much so," Jace replied. "In all the years we were together she's never done anything like that before."

Grace looked quite exasperated at his words. "Then what the hell are you doing still sitting across from me!" she exclaimed, gesturing with her hand for Jace to scat. "Go get the girl, idiot."

Jace wasn't sure what to do. Should he really go after Clary? He hadn't any clue what he would say even if he did catch up with her. He told Grace as much but she didn't seem to think it mattered.

"You'll know what you want to do when you see her," Grace told him. "Now get out of here!"

Jace pushed his chair back from the table, unsure if it was really him choosing this or just some automatic response.

"Oh but don't forget to pay your half of the bill before you go," Grace told him in a business-like manner. "Because this has been the least date-like date I've ever been on, and I ain't buying your dinner."

Jace couldn't help but laugh at that. Looking around he couldn't see a waiter in sight. Deciding he didn't want to wait for one, Jace pulled some cash from his wallet and handed it to Grace.

"This should cover my half," Jace told her. "And the tip." And then he stood up and turned towards the door.

"Oh and Annika told me to remind you that you still owe her a blind date set up," Grace called after him.

Jace rolled his eyes as he left the restaurant in search of his redhead. Annika could wait.

How do you like the cliffhanger in this one? Better or worse than the cliffhanger in the last chapter? ^_^ Yes I might be evil, but I could never resist a good cliffhanger. This one has been written a while by my editor kinda forgot I get it to her lol. In future I will work at reminding her more. ;)

Sneak Peek Chapter 194

All she wanted now was to curl up in bed and hide under the covers until the day ended! To that end she made her way home via bus.

Despite the embarrassment Clary did have a new appreciation for how hard it must have been for Jace to tell her how he felt all those years ago in the school cafeteria. She could only now understand how much she must have hurt him when she hadn't taken him seriously. At the time she'd been too busy worrying about Magnus. The thought made her laugh. Things sure had changed since then. Magnus was now in a strong and healthy marriage while she was still a mess. A total useless mess that she felt sure Jace didn't want anymore. The thought made her want her bed even more.

Getting off one bus, Clary waited at the station to transfer to another. She didn't often go downtown as it was quite a ways away from Magnus's apartment where she was still staying. Clary knew that was the next task she had to tackle. She'd put herself out there emotionally and now it was time to grow up. With school over, Clary needed to start thinking about career jobs. She needed to move out of her friend's place no matter how easy it was and she needed to decide what to do next with her life. At least that would be something to focus on while she waited for Jace to reply to her little outburst. She knew there was a very good chance that nothing would come of it. Best to think of something else.