Clary didn't think she'd ever get tired of looking at his face. Even if right now his gorgeous golden eyes were closed she could still imagine them there under his eyelids. She didn't have to imagine the line of his jaw and the way his mouth rested slightly open in sleep. She could even see a little drool threatening to escape his lips. The imperfection made her smile. He was so beautiful, so perfect and so very hers once again. Clary couldn't remember the last time she'd been this happy.
Just laying here with her head propped up on her elbow staring at the love of her life as he dozed the morning away was her idea of bliss.
"I can feel your eyes like little lazer beams," Jace said with a smile. His eyelids were still closed even as he spoke.
"Shh you are supposed to be sleeping," Clary reminded him.
"The sun is up," Jace objected. "And it's very unfair that you can see me but I can't see you."
Clary chuckled. "Then open your eyes silly."
"Too bright," Jace complained.
Still smiling, Clary leaned down to kiss him sweetly on the forehead. Since her and Jace had gotten back together, smiling had become her near constant companion. She wondered sometimes how she'd gone so long without him.
"What are you thinking about?" Jace asked curiously.
"Just that you are most glorious in the morning," Clary replied.
Jace grunted in a very disagreeing kinda way. "My mouth tastes funny and I'm sure I need a comb bad."
"These things are of no importance," Clary remarked. "You are as stunning as the first time I saw you every time I see you."
"How do you walk in a straight line?" Jace laughed.
"With practice," Clary chuckled.
Reaching forward she stroked the side of his face softly. This was it. She knew it so much more now than ever before. Jace was her first and he would be her last love. He was all she ever wanted, but more than that she never ever wanted to lose him again. She was pretty sure it would break her. It was strange but somehow you can miss someone more than you can love them. The missing them rather proved the love more than anything else. Never wanting to lose someone logically meant being with them for the rest of your life and being with someone for the rest of your life meant…
"You went quiet again," Jace grumbled, cutting off her train of thought. "What are you thinking about now?"
"Just about how I never want to lose you again," Clary replied honestly.
"I know that feeling," Jace agreed, finally opening his eyes to gaze at her. He blinked several times as his eyes adjusted to the light.
Those warm pools of gold locked eyes with hers and Clary momentarily forgot to breathe. How could her stomach flutter the same now as it had the first time he'd looked at her with love in those eyes?
"I was also thinking about what that means," Clary continued with a little less confidence. "Like in the long term."
"I imagine it means not breaking up," Jace said with a light chuckle. He was sitting up in the bed now, and Clary sat up as well. The conversation had somehow turned serious and laying propped up on her elbow felt wrong.
"Yeah but also," Clary said. She was feeling awkward all of a sudden even though she knew she shouldn't be. This was Jace. She could talk to him about anything, right? There was no need to feel awkward around Jace.
"Also what, Clary?"
"Well I was just thinking about if we will, you know, ever get, ever decide to get… married," Clary admitted. "Simon and Izzy just got married and it feels like Magnus and Alec have been married for ages. Even Aline and Helen got married and I just couldn't help but wonder if that was something that might be in our future."
"Well I think that depends," Jace replied. He didn't look upset by the topic. Instead he seemed all together too playful and sneaky. Clary had no idea what he was up to.
"Depends on what?" Clary asked, cautiously.
"Depends on if you are currently asking me to marry you or not," Jace answered.
"I well- I just- I thought we could talk about it," Clary bumbled. "I mean it's a thing people talk about right- like when they are in a serious relationship."
"Glad to know you think this is serious," Jace said with a huge grin. Clary couldn't help but feel like he was enjoying her awkwardness. "Even if you didn't just ask me to marry you."
"Is that what you want?" Clary asked, feeling rather annoyed that he was making this so difficult.
With a light joyous laugh, Jace leaned in and kissed her again. His hands found the small of her back as his lips moved down her jawline and over her neck. A moan beyond her control escaped her throat. And then her back was against the mattress and his firm familiar form was pressing against her. His lips returned to her own as he deepened the kiss. The weight of him on top of her felt wonderful, like he was a weighted blanket protecting her from harm. He kissed her until she forgot what they'd been talking about and then he kissed her a little more.
"What I want is you," Jace whispered against her skin. "For the rest of my life."
"Mhmmmm," Clary mumbled. She was having a hard time remembering what they'd been talking about a moment ago. She had a feeling it was important but when his lips reached her collar bone Clary's mind started to feel fuzzy.
"Everything else is up for debate," Jace added.
Clary was having a hard time keeping a cohesive thought in her head long enough to say words. His hands and mouth were moving along her skin in just the right way to completely turn off her brain. She'd been trying to make a point before, right? Oh but was that his tongue against her chest? When had her shirt abandoned her? Did she care? Clary only knew the answer to the last question which was a definite no. The shirt be damned. It was only in the way.
Jace had gotten his hands under her nightgown. That was right, she was wearing a nightgown, not a shirt. His hands were under her slip of a gown now, moving up her thighs, hiking the fabric up to her hips. She could feel that Jace still had his sleeping shorts on, but at the moment that didn't seem to be bothering him. He continued to focus on her as he slowly ran his hands over the soft skin of her stomach and hip bones.
She murmured his name which seemed to spur him on. Clary could sense his breathing was starting to be as erratic as hers even though her eyes were closed.
She could hear herself moaning more than she was purposefully making sound. Jace's hands were still moving over her skin in all the ways that made her forget who she was. His fingers had gotten a grip on her loose sleeping underwear and pulled them off. She had just enough awareness left to register that her night gown had been discarded though when he'd managed to get it over her head Clary wasn't sure.
Reaching forward, Clary decided it was time to even things out. She got her fingers hooked into the elastic of Jace's shorts and pulled down. She was rewarded with a very primal groan from him as her fingers just barely touched his arousal.
It was Jace who was whispering her name now. Clary reveled in the sound as she reached up to caress the muscles over his arms. Jace, meanwhile, was busy finishing the removal of his only garment of clothing. Then he laid on top of her again, pressing his body beautifully against her.
"I love you," she whispered with her arms and legs wrapping around him.
They were only three words. Three words it had taken Clary far too long to understand the true meaning of but she knew she'd never get lost again. Love was kind. Love was unconditional. Love was generous. Love was selfless. Love was trust, but most importantly Love was more than mere words. Love was made of action.
Jace made a soft contented noise in his throat before whispering. "With all my heart and soul, Clarrisa Fairchild."
Her words of reply were cut short by his searing kiss. She could feel his one hand still exploring her skin, sending tingling waves of heat through her body.
His arousal was pressed against her abdomen now. She knew it was time for a condom but her limbs felt like jello. Was it the left bedside table or the right one? She wasn't even totally sure which way she was facing anymore. The only thing she was aware of was every inch of her body that was touching Jace's skin.
When his touch suddenly vanished for a few moments, Clary almost worried but then her fuzzy brain realized what he was doing. She could feel the rubber texture against her abdomen when his caress returned to her side, but not for long.
Clary gasped as he entered her. She was already so close to her climax he didn't have to move for long before she exploded. Her back arched up without her telling it to do so and then her body let go of its tension in a wonderful burst of joy.
Jace, it seemed, had a ways to go. He was still moving, his breath highly erratic. Clary wasn't on the edge anymore but it still felt good having him inside her. She closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent of him until he tensed up and finally collapsed.
They were both silent for a moment while Jace caught his breath. She noticed him move away for a moment - likely to dispose of the condom - before returning to her side.
"I love that I'm the reason you make that face," Jace grinned as she snuggled up against his chest.
"What face?"
"Your overwhelmed by orgasm face," Jace chuckled. Clary couldn't help her blush. It was so silly to blush here alone and naked with Jace which only made her blush more.
"And you blush all the way down to your navel," Jace teased her.
"This is why I like clothes," Clary grumbled. "So people can't see how bad I blush."
"Oh but I'm not just people," Jace smiled as he buried his face in her hair.
"True," Clary agreed, putting an arm around him.
She was trying to remember something. Before Jace had seen fit to turn off her brain it felt like they'd been talking about something important. It was hard to remember now though as her brain swam in its blissful pool of happy drugs.
Clary wasn't sure how long they just lay there cuddling. She felt sure she could have stayed like this forever, or at least until her bladder or stomach complained loudly enough to prompt movement. It was so nice to have the morning off work together, Clary never wanted it to end.
Never wanted it to end. Why did that feel familiar? And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. They'd been talking about marriage before he'd so cleverly seduced her.
"Did you turn my brain off on purpose?" Clary asked.
"Of course," Jace said. "I can't have you being all thinky-think while we are making love now can I?"
"No, I mean to avoid the conversation?" Clary explained.
Jace just chuckled. He sat up slightly to look into her eyes and stroke her face before speaking. "After everything we've been through together how can you still doubt my commitment?"
"I- I didn't mean," Clary mumbled feeling guilty. "I'm sorry. It was just strange timing."
Jace settled back down, pulling her in closer against him as they both gazed at the ceiling.
"So does that mean you were hoping I meant to propose then?" Clary asked. She wasn't sure why she couldn't let this go. It just felt too big to drop without breaking something. The last time they'd dropped something big it had festered and Clary never wanted to do that again, but still bringing up scary topics was hard.
Clary heard his slight exhale of breath before he sat up again to look at her. It almost sounded like he was annoyed but when he spoke there was no trace of annoyance, only devotion.
"Do you remember the first time I tried to tell you that I liked you?" Jace asked.
Clary nodded. "I didn't believe you," she said. "I thought it was some line."
"Which was fair given my reputation," Jace sighed. "But my point is, back then if the choice had been between marrying you or losing you I'd have been the first one to the chapel."
Clary wasn't sure how to process this. It had been so long ago. So long ago in fact that her memory couldn't comprehend how his attachment would have been that strong already. Surely, he hadn't loved her so already.
"Like I said before," Jace continued softly reaching out to stroke her cheek again. "I want you for the rest of my life. Everything else is negotiable."
"Did you want to do it?" Clary asked. "Did I steal your thunder by bringing it up like this?"
Jace just laughed. It was a deep joyful laugh full of humor and she knew the answer to her questions was no.
"Okay so basically what I'm taking from this conversation is that if I did ask you to marry me you'd say yes?" Clary wanted to confirm she'd gathered the right conclusion from this very strange conversation.
Jace was grinning again and looking right at her. There was a bit of playfulness to his grin but also deep affection.
"You are a very strange girl, you know that?" Jace chuckled.
"Thank goodness someone noticed," Clary exclaimed sarcastically. "I was worried people thought I was normal."
Jace's light chuckle turned into a full on belly laugh as he reached over and scooped Clary into his arms. His kiss spoke more of love than lust as they'd both so recently satisfied their passion for one another.
"So are we like engaged now?" Clary asked, when the kiss ended.
"I think so," Jace chuckled. "But I think we should put off an actual wedding until we have our living situation and employment more in hand."
"Agreed," Clary said quickly. "We don't even need to tell people until we are ready to pick a date."
"Good plan," Jace confirmed. "Otherwise you know Alec is going to be super annoying."
Clary chuckled. "Who knows he'll probably give us an ear full just for staying locked up in our bedroom all morning."
"Just because he isn't getting any this morning doesn't mean he should take that out on us," Jace observed.
"Oh come on," Clary replied. "They've been married for ages. Surely they are over the honeymoon phase."
"I don't think I'll ever get over it," Jace grinned. "I should probably warn you now that I plan on being a very dirty old man. Any future wife should take note."
"As long as you are only dirty with me I can get on board with that plan," Clary giggled.
"Deal," Jace said, moving in to kiss her neck again. Clary leaned her head to the side, enjoying the sensation of his lips against her skin.
Just then, two things happened one after the other. Both Jace and Clary's stomachs gave a very noticeable rumble and there was a rather loud knock on their bedroom door.
"You can't have sex all day!" Alec's voice came through the door.
"We can if you order pizza!" Jace's voice yelled through the closed door.
Clary couldn't help but giggle as she listened to Alec's cranky grumbling. She couldn't make out words but the emotion was clear enough.
"We should probably get dressed," Clary grinned. "Our host wants company."
Jace gestured for her to go first. Clary laughed lightly, knowing that he'd sit there and watch her get dressed before so much as picking up a stitch for himself.
"You are definitely gonna be a dirty old man, aren't you?" Clary sniggered at him.
"A dirty old man you just agreed to marry, don't forget," Jace grinned at her as if she'd lost some sort of lottery, but Clary knew the truth. Clary knew she had won.
This all started with a Jace sex scene so by golly it's gonna end with one. *Laughing emoji here* The 1st scene was Jace pov and this one is Clary's but even so I think it creates the 'come full circle' effect well enough.
I almost can't believe this is the last normal chapter but on the other hand I still have six epilogues to write in the next three months! One is quite a ways along but a couple of them are just a pile of notes so here's hoping I can motivate myself to get a move on.
This story will be finished either way on Sept 5th 2023 even if all I end up adding are whatever half finished epilogues I've managed to pull together.
I have two new stories unpublished started (Malec AU Xmas Short & Bridgerton's Kate/Anthony), two more being updated (Sizzy & Lucifer/Chloe) and even more as just notes (Voyager's Tom/B'Elanna & Clace Fantasy AU) that I'm excited to start. It is beyond time to move on from this story even if I am feeling weirdly sentimental about it.