Star wars: Reylo chapter IV

Ben tried his best to give her space, but their bodies found their way to each other during the night. Ben woke up somewhere in the early morning on his side with a tiny arm wrapped around his chest. He could feel Rey's calm breathing against his bare back. He tried his best to ignore her but her presence, so close mixed with it being morning, was having an effect on him he'd rather not let her see. He tried to carefully lift her arm to move it away from him, but as he looked down he saw her leg out of the blanket, she had managed to put the blanket in between her legs. But that was not what caught his eye. He saw her hip, just behind his, only the shirt had gone up and rested just underneath her chest. He could see her ribs and her hip, but nothing on it. There was nothing covering her hip. She wasn't wearing underwear. Ben knew he should look away but he couldn't. She looked so soft and just that tiny bit of fabric made such a difference. Now it was like he was seeing her most intimate parts. She made a small noise in her sleep and Ben snapped out of his trance. By now, the situation he was trying to avoid was undeniable. By turning away he had let her arm fall back on his chest, waking her up. Ben pretended to be asleep, but was very unsuccessful.

Rey woke with start and realised she had her arm draped around a certain large chest. Also, she had managed to pull her shirt up way past what she should be revealing. She quickly pulled her arm away and covered herself with the shirt and the blanket. Her cheeks burned and she could feel Ben being awake next to her. She wondered if he had seen anything. She still felt the mental walls he had put up since they had reunited.

"Good morning." She tried to hide her embarrassment. Ben moved slightly next to her.

"Good morning." again with the indifference. This time it really stung, it was like it meant nothing to him. In the meantime she was freaking out every second she spent with him. But he made no attempt to get up. So Rey secretly took that as a good sign. Not putting too much stock into it, but also not wanting to accept that she really meant nothing to him.

"So, I'll have your room cleaned today." Ben stated. Rey snapped her head up and couldn't hide her emotions very well.

"Fine." She said, obviously angry and before Ben could react, she got up and walked to the bathroom. Not having anything else to wear, she put the dress back on and walked out of the room without saying a word, leaving a very baffled Ben alone in bed.

Rey reached her room and as soon as she closed the door behind her, she fell to her knees and started sobbing. All the emotion she had been trying to keep in since yesterday, it all came out with his stupid remark about her room. Yes, it was great that her room was being cleaned. But he could have just said that he didn't want her near him. Rey let the tears flow freely, she felt his absence more now than ever. On the other side of the ship, Ben felt her distress. He carefully reached out with the bond and found sadness. He quickly retreated and gave her her space. He didn't understand her reaction this morning but he did know that she did not feel the same. How could she, all of her reactions indicated that she didn't. Even when he touched her, most of the time, she would startle. As if his touch still scared her… which it probably did. His face contorted into something painful. He sat there controlling his emotions for a moment. Then got up, got dressed and prepared himself for the day. He had an important meeting with his mother and the other leaders today.

Rey had stopped crying but she still held her chest. She thought of sleeping against his back, dancing with him… She thought of the moment he had extended his hand and whispered "please…" Then she took a deep breath, put all those beautiful memories in a vault in her mind and got up. She felt a bittersweet feeling taking over her heart. She would store those memories safely and she could revisit them whenever she wanted, even if she would not make more, she had these. She was glad to find her clothes washed and folded, probably by one of the droids, and got dressed.

Leia had stopped by at one point to let her know she was to attend a meeting. So she cleaned up and followed the General. Leia led her into a room with the same group as the day before except for Poe, and some other high placed First Order officer, Hux she thought. Leia sat Rey down, again, next to Ben and sat herself at her place, at the head of the table.

"I have asked you all here today to discuss how we will handle this peace treaty. It will not be easy to reunite our peoples. Yesterday the celebrations went well, without incidents, but that is in good times. We need to make sure that we actively unite our peoples, to avoid falling into disputes and relighting the fire between them." Leia let this sink in and then took a deep breath, looking at her husband, seemingly for support. That made Rey frown; Leia, looking for support… What was she going to propose.

"I have thought long and hard about how we should proceed and there is one way, an ancient bond, that has been used in these kinds of situations for centuries. A bond between two people from opposite sides that gives the people hope and gives them an example to follow and support." Leia took a moment before speaking her last words. "A marriage." She said and the tension in the room changed. All eyes were on Rey and Ben, who did not seem to share the same emotions. Rey, being humble as she was, had no idea that she was part of what Leia was suggesting. And Ben was radiating anger again. Leia sensed this and clarified herself for Rey's sake.

"The marriage of the Supreme Leader of the First Order and the Jedi hero of the Resistance." She motioned at Rey and Ben. Ben clenched his fists and looked at the table. Rey's eyes widened and she looked at Ben. Of course he seemed to hate the idea.

"I know it seems radical, but it is really a very good way to make people understand." Leia almost pleaded with Rey. Rey looked at her and tried to think about it separate from her own emotions, like her jedi training would want her to. She could however not deny her personal tendency to agree to this proposal. It did hurt that it was in this way, not very romantic… But she weighed the words that Leia had said. While Ben seemed to do his best not to kill anyone in the room. After a moment of excruciating silence Rey spoke. She stood up to give her words more strength.

"I accept. If you believe that it will give us the best chance at lasting peace then I accept." Ben looked up at her with surprise in his eyes. His anger seemed to disappear and it was replaced by sadness.

"Ben, what do you say?" Leia's voice was pleading him to agree. Ben stood up too.

"I accept." He stated, then he turned around and left the room abruptly. Rey was left feeling very hurt but proud that she would be a part of creating a better future. She excused herself and left without speaking to anyone.

Rey went where she always went when she couldn't make sense of things, her droids. She tinkered away into the night, sometimes her work would go slowly and tears would stop her ability to see anything, but then she would regain herself and force herself to look on the bright side. She was a large part of the best hope they had had for quite some time. She was going to be part of a marriage to unite the peoples. A marriage to… Ben. She sighed and put down her things. How she wished he knew… How she wished she knew how to deal with this! How did other people deal with emotions like these, she had had no one when she was growing up and now she needed a someone more than ever.

It had been so very hard to not go with Ben when he had asked for her hand. Rey let her thoughts trail back to that moment, when he had asked her to go with him. She let the scene play before her eyes when he had said those words to her "Not to me." Rey couldn't help but let the tears fall. She had never felt such a connection with someone as she had then. Even in the interrogation room, so long ago, she could not deny it was already there. The moment he had taken off his helmet her idea of him had changed dramatically. She had assumed his face to be disfigured like his grandfather's, for no better reason then his heritage and his ferocity in battle. But then she had seen his face for the first time… He didn't look at all what she had expected, he looked like a dark prince more than anything else. And since then she had struggled with her feelings for him.

Rey sighed and opened her eyes. She didn't know what to do. But she was exhausted from the day's emotions and needed some rest. She headed for her room and let herself fall onto her bed, hoping she would be so tired she could not dream. But her dreams came anyway. Rey tossed and turned while her mind took her to an all too familiar place. She was laying in bed and Ben was laying on top of her, he was kissing her neck and she felt him against her body. She felt free and wonderful and held onto him for dear life. And once again she awoke alone in her room, holding onto nothing but her sheets. Rey fell back onto her pillow and stared hopelessly into the dark, she was to marry him. How would she ever be able to talk to him again after a dream like that. Her cheeks were still warm and she held her face pondering if every woman felt this way before her marriage. Probably not she laughed to herself… then her laughter died when she realised most women marry a man who loves them. The tears came back and were that much more bitter after the dream she had just had. It would never be like that, he would never love her like she loves him, but maybe he could learn to, after a while. She held to that thought so she could fall asleep again.

The next morning Ben and Rey were summoned to training with Luke. Some new technique that Luke had shared recently. They started at dawn and trained for hours. This rhythm of training from dawn till late afternoon lasted for days, Rey's nights were filled with dreams and tears and the next morning she always had to face him again. They never spoke long and never about their pending nuptials. Luke didn't seem to mind, but he really wasn't good with feelings so he also didn't move to bring it up. Ben seemed to be doing well, he looked better than when he was with snoke. But ever since the engagement was announced he barely spoke to anyone. Not that he was chatty before, but he did not seem happy about it. This only caused Rey more distress, for it confirmed her thoughts on his indifference. So they trained and Rey realised how bad she was compared to Ben and she wondered how she had ever survived fighting him for real before all this. She also found it increasingly distracting training with Ben. The weather had improved and he had chosen to practise without his shirt on. The only other time she had seen him like that had been during one of their more emotional force bonds. And now he showed up in a shirt and every day and when the sun would rise and the heat set in he would remove it and Rey would be absolute shit for the rest of the training, luckily neither Luke nor Ben seemed to make the connection. This day in particular, she was knocked on her ass again.

"You alright?" Ben asked. His deep voice startled her as it always did. His arm was outstretched and she hesitantly took it. He pulled her up but his strength surprised her and she fell unto his chest. His naked sweaty chest she realised. Her hands felt his warmth and she gasped. Rey quickly pulled back and Ben looked down on her with a pained expression. "Yeah I'm fine." Rey avoided his eyes.

"Maybe this is enough training for today." Ben looked at Luke when he said this. Luke didn't seem to understand and tried to argue. "But we're not done-"

"This is enough training for today." Ben repeated himself in his commanding voice and Luke just nodded. They were not on good terms yet but Luke knew not to push Ben. And so Rey left the session. Ben stormed off and she got the impression that she did something wrong. But he did not speak to her.

Later that day someone came by Rey while she was working on her droids, apparently she was asked to attend a meeting with Leia Organa. Rey quickly cleaned up and headed for the conference room. She arrived and saw Leia, Han, Luke and Ben sitting already. She quickly joined them and Leia nodded at her with motherly affection. Then she started the meeting. "So, as you all know, we are planning a wedding of quite a magnitude. From tomorrow onwards, Rey, you will need to quit your training for a while, because I will be needing you for weddings preparations." Leia wanted to speak as she always did but her excitement couldn't help but seep through. Rey was so happy that Leia wanted to share this with her. "Of course." Was all Rey could manage. "Now I believe my son wanted to make a statement as well. You have the floor." Ben nodded and stood up as Leia sat down.

"I understand the importance of this match and will ensure that I do everything in my power to make it succeed but I do think there have to be limitations." Leia frowned. And Rey looked at him. "Limitations?" Rey asked.

"Yes, this was not a match borne from love and so some things should not be expected." Ben spoke decidedly as he always did. Though this time his words cut like knives through Rey. "What things?" She asked, holding back tears. Ben looked her in the eyes and spoke.

"Like a traditional wedding night for example." Rey eyes fluttered, she felt for a moment that the ground had given away beneath her and it was just her and Ben floating in space. But then she came back when tears dared to spill over. She lifted her head in such a way as Leia would and spoke. "If that is your wish." Rey held her head high. She swallowed noticeably and didn't look Ben in the eye for the rest of the meeting. Afterwards she stood up and left without looking anyone in the eye.