Chapter 1

Ryan did back off but he gave Lorelai one of those faces like he was so tired of this. He turned eyes on her as she straightened up and fixed her blouse.

"I'm sorry, look I should be going," she told him.

"What is it, am I coming on too strong. We've been going out a month now."

"I know, I know look I just need to get home. It's getting late." She put a hand to his knee and gave him a smile. " I just need to get back, can you understand."

"I guess, young Rory is lucky to have such a momma."

"Young Rory is fourteen and will forget to eat if I don't pull her from her room and make her sit at table. I'll call you tomorrow."

Just as she was about to leave Ryan took hold of her arm and kissed her lips. "I love you but we can't go on like this, snatched moments here a quick coffee there. I want you in my life Lorelai."

"I know I understand but my last relationship was hard on Rory. He wasn't a good guy. He yelled at her. We've been through this Ryan. I like you but Rory has to come first. She will always come first."

"I'm sorry Lorelai. I don't know if I can go on with this."

Lorelai was on the driveway with car keys in hand ready to leave but now she took a step forward "what are you saying?"

He let out a breath. "I think we should take a step back, maybe take a break."

Lorelai set her face. She tried to think of something anything that would sound like she didn't care but she couldn't trust her voice. Tears had already begun to sting the back of her eyes.

She joined the line of heavy traffic that dark winter evening obstinately swiping at her eyes trying to tell herself that he didn't matter.

~o~

Rory was at the kitchen table writing an essay for her creative writing class.

"You ok?" She asked immediately.

"I'm fine, have you eaten?"Lorelai asked bluntly as she opened the fridge.

"I had an egg sandwich at school." Rory answered turning her attention back to her essay.

"Rory that was five hours ago. It's after six now. You can't go on with school work forgetting to eat."

"I'm not that hungry," the youngster shrugged.

"That's hardly the point How are you supposed to be any good at school if you skip out on meals. "

Rory looked back at her mother. "I'm sorry."

It was at that moment Lorelai realized she was raising her voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm tired. It's been one of those days. What say we order a pizza and watch a film."

"Yes to the pizza but I really need to get this done." Rory said apologetically.

Lorelai gave her a tired smile. "Ok, I'll go order. Don't work too hard."

Lorelai put a hand to her shoulder and headed slowly into the living room to grab the phone.

Rory watched her go feeling a slight knot of worry building in her stomach. She hated when her mom was upset and trying to hide it from her. She reluctantly turned back to her homework. She really had to get this paper finished.

~o~

Lorelai couldn't help herself. She scowled as she noted young Emma come bounding in. Emma was the new commie chef, a girl just barely twenty she had obviously discovered sex for the first time. They had chapter and verse of her nightly encounters with her 19 year old boyfriend and always before breakfast. Lorelai really wasn't in the mood for it this morning.

She beamed as she sashayed up to the reception area.

"So how is Mr wonderful, " Sookie grinned.

"Last night was just so perfect. Late last night he showed me his heart for the very first time. It was amazing. There we were, holding each other, skin on skin. He loves me on such a deep level."

Michel walked off finding something to do away from his desk. Lorelai tried to put a smile on but it was getting annoying.

"We talked all night. Like no sleep. I'm exhausted but I can't believe I have found my soul mate at just 20. Like he has the most amazing body."

~o~

Lorelai's day didn't improve much. A large wedding had been called off last minute even though they had most of the food prepared. The groom was in hospital so they had to just accept and be gracious about it. But Emma wasn't proving too good as a worker. Lack of sleep had her grouchy by lunchtime.

Lorelai was heading into the kitchen and caught a conversation.

"You can't put it back into the fridge once the can is open Emma," Sookie was telling her. "You must put the rest of the tuna into a plastic container. Thats not safe."

"Oh come on Sookie, we'll be using it tomorrow for sure, what's the big deal."

Lorelai had to join in "The big deal is botulism, its dangerous. You can't leave half used cans in the fridge. Especially not tuna."

"Now everyone is joining in. What is it pick on Emma day."

"You have to be aware of health and safety rules Emma." Lorelai told her seriously.

"Ugh, I hate this Job. I can't wait to be pregnant and then my parents will stop bugging me about having a career. Me and Wayne can get an apartment and he'll keep us and I'll take baby to the park. Happy days away from this dump."

Lorelai could feel heat rising to her face. " Really, is that what you think. You'll have a lovely baby and dress it up and he will stay of course. He'll probably babysit so you can go out clubbing at night with your friends. Because there's no way he'll leave you to it and you'll be dealing with dirty diapers and crying and no life for the next ten years. Theres no way that's going to happen."

Emma scowled back at her "I need a coffee break." She took off her apron , rolled it in a ball and stormed out. She nearly knocked into Rory on her way to the staff room. Rory just stood there, her brow furrowed in confusion. She looked down at the coffee and danish she was bringing for her mom. Tears gathered in her eyes. Quickly she turned and hurried out of the guest house.

Lorelai looked to Sookie.

"I know I was too rough on her."

"Well you were right about the tuna," Sookie shrugged.

"She is just so delusional about it all. I know it's her age but honestly…"

"Is this about Ryan?"

"He as much as wants me to choose between him and Rory."

"Excuse me ?"

"Yeah like goodbye. I was upset last night but the more I think of it, he's always been a bit of a dick. I always find Rory is a good bench mark. If they don't take to Rory straight off there's something wrong."

"Amen to that," Sookie nodded.

Lorelai put her coffee cup down. "I'd better go find Bridget Jones, I was a bit hard on her."

Rory ignored the rain soaking through her hair as she walked slowly back to their home. She didn't even care about afternoon school. She sat at the kitchen table over thinking it all in her head. Dirty diapers and crying, no life for the next ten years. Things had been a little off between them for the last month or so. Rory knew instinctively that her moms new boyfriend Ryan had not been pleased to see her. He didn't seem to want children around but she had no idea her mother felt like that. Tears began to spill down her cheeks. She fought the urge to go and get a book to read. Yes it would quite her mind but she needed to think, she needed to plan.