CHAPTER 5: A NEW DAY

MORNING – HOSPITAL

Joey and Dawson were sleeping on the chairs. She was almost laid down with her head leant on Dawson, while he was sitting, resting his head on a rolled up jacket.

Doug came closer to them with two cups of coffee.

"Hey", he greeted them.

With a little effort, they woke up and sat back in a straight position, taking the coffee.

"Something wrong?", Joey immediately asked, alarmed.

"No, don't worry, everything is fine – Doug reassured her – Pacey is awake, the doctor has just finished visiting him, if you want you can see him."

"Good", Joey calmed down again.

"Have you already seen him?", Dawson asked.

"No, not yet, I was about to go in now."

"Ok. Then, go, we'll be right there."

"All right."

Doug walked away and left the room.

MORNING – HOSPITAL ROOM

Pacey was sat in his hospital bed. The door opened and Doug went in.

"Hey lil' bro", Doug greeted him.

"Hi Dougie."

"How are you?"

"Good. I'm afraid you'll have to put up with me for a while longer."

"Damn, I was already hoping to sell your boat."

Pacey smiled.

"Are you alone?"

"Mom is coming now. She was really exhausted last night, I had to take her home…Also your friends are coming back, while Joey and Dawson spent the night here waiting for you to wake up."

Pacey smiled again, but then he suddenly got very serious.

"And what about dad?"

Doug paused for a moment.

"Pace, he was on duty last night, there was an important drug operation and-

"More important than his son almost dying?"

Doug rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Come on, you know it's not like that."

"Sure, of course not – Pacey replied sarcastically, shaking his head – I can picture the scene when you told him what happened to me – Pacey started to make a lower tone, mimicking his father's voice – 'That idiot is not even capable of walking in a wood without getting hurt, he deserves that, so maybe he'll be more careful next time…'"

"Pacey! Now it's enough", Doug interrupted him, more annoyed.

"What? You wanna tell me that he didn't say anything like that?", Pacey insisted, angrier.

Doug stayed in silence.

"There you go", Pacey drew his conclusion, very disappointed.

"Pace…"

"No, look, you know what? I don't care. Luckily, there are other people who care about me, so do you mind letting them in?"

Doug looked at him, demoralized. "Ok."

Then, he headed for the door.

"Hey Doug", Pacey called him again.

Doug turned around. "Yeah."

"I'm glad you came."

Doug nodded and went out.

MORNING – HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM

Doug came back to Joey and Dawson.

"Hey guys, he wants to see you", he stated.

Joey immediately stood up. "Ok."

Then, she turned back to Dawson.

"Let's go?", she asked eagerly.

"You go first – Dawson replied – I think that you too would like to talk alone."

Joey glared at him, not happy about what he was implying.

"Dawson…"

"I mean it, Joey, go. I'll see him later."

"Ok…", she agreed, not feeling in the mood to argue more. Then, she headed to Pacey's room.

MORNING – HOSPITAL ROOM

Joey entered Pacey's room, approaching slowly to the bed.

"Hey", she greeted first.

"Hey", he responded while his eyes immediately lighted up just for seeing her.

Joey came closer to the bed, almost embarrassed of speaking with him.

"How are you feeling?", she finally asked.

"Now that you're here, very good."

She made a half smile, lowering her look and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrassed you", Pacey quickly said, noting her discomfort.

"No, no, it's just…"

Joey raised up her eyes and then stopped again.

Pacey smiled.

"Hey Potter, relax…I know that I may not look good right now, but I didn't think I'd intimidate you so much."

"Well, I can't really say that you look good indeed", she sarcastically said, smiling back.

Pacey laughed.

"I really missed these conversations with you – he confessed – It's really a shame that we had to wait for something like this to have one again."

Joey saddened and then sat on the bed.

"Pace, I'm sorry if in this last period I've been so distant, but try to understand…I had to try to win back Dawson's trust after what we did."

"And who cares if this way you would have lost my friendship."

"That's not true. And I'm sorry that you think that because those weren't my intentions…they could never be."

"Ok, it doesn't matter. What really matters is that, one way or another, we resumed talking again and that you're here now…unlike other people."

"Who are you talking about?", she asked, confused.

"Never mind."

Joey kept on staring at him, trying to read his mind. However, it was not necessary because Pacey restart speaking soon.

"I mean, is it so hard to expect that, in a situation like the one I was last night, a parent would show a bit of interest for his son, even if he's not worthy of his esteem? I don't say being worried or scared but at least being remotely interested…is it asking too much?"

"It's not asking too much, but I'm sure that if your father couldn't be here, there's an explanation."

"Joey, it's all my life that I've been trying to find some kind of justification for his behavior, but you know what? There isn't any. He's never cared about me, for him I've always been the black sheep of our family and nothing has ever changed his mind about it…I wonder why, deep down, I still hope that this could change."

"Because this could change, Pace. Maybe not now, but sooner or later he will have to notice the wonderful person that you are and then, trust me, he would not only esteem you, but he would also be proud of you. The same way that many other people are. People who not only care about you, but that last night, when they knew what had happened to you, they literally stopped breathing because of how much they were terrified by the idea of losing you. Because, believe me, if something would have happened to you, these people…I don't know what they could have done."

Joey's eyes started filling with tears. Pacey leant forward to hug her and tried to calm her down.

"Hey Jo, I'm ok, nothing happened."

"Yeah…"

"But you really have to let me know those people", he smiled sarcastically.

Joey immediately stopped crying and backed off just to glare at him.

"Idiot", she whispered.

Pacey smiled and then wiped her tears with his hand.

"Pace, I was really scared", she confessed becoming serious again.

"I kind of guessed it."

"You know when they say that you realize what's really important just when you almost lose it? Well, it's true…and last night the only thing I could think of was that, if everything had worked out well like I hoped, then I wouldn't have let slip another chance and the first thing I would have done, would have been this…"

Joey moved closer and kissed him sweetly, closing her eyes. Pacey kissed her back.

"And that, what does it mean?", he asked after a while, confused.

"It means that I no longer want to spend a month like this last one, it means that I want us to be together again because I can no longer be without you…Of course if you still feel the same."

"Joey…believe me, there's nothing I'd want more right now. Yesterday the only thing that gave me the strength to hold on was the thought of seeing you again and I can assure you that I could've never imagined a better awakening than this because you're really the most extraordinary person I know and all I want is to be with you-

Joey's gaze slowly darkened.

"But there is a but", she interrupted him.

Pacey looked at her for a moment, very sad.

"Yes. And you know what it is."

"Dawson…"

"He's just saved my life, I can't do this to him now."

"Pace, he didn't save your life so that you would give up on me in return."

"I know but put yourself in my position for a second: my friendship with Dawson has already been irremediably compromised and who knows if things will ever sort out between us, but despite that, he did the impossible to help me. What kind of person would I be if now I turned my back again at him and took away from him what he most wants in the world?"

"You're not taking away anything from him, Pacey…because my heart hasn't belonged to him for a very long time now."

"Unfortunately, he doesn't think that way – Pacey stared at her again, trying to find the strength to say what was next - Joey, I can't do this right now, try to understand."

Joey's eyes started to fill with tears.

"I understand, Pacey. I understand very well – she dried her eyes again – It's better if I go now."

Saying so she got up from the bed.

"Hey, wait!"

Joey turned again, making a forced smile.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

Then, she turned again and exited the room.

Pacey stared at the door closing, petrified, hating himself for what he just did.

MORNING – HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

Joey ran out of the room, starting to cry. Dawson saw her and followed her.

"Joey!", he tried to get her attention.

Joey kept moving away.

"Joey, stop! What happened?", he insisted.

Joey stopped and turned around.

"You can go in, Dawson. He's waiting for you."

"No, first you tell me what happened in there."

"Nothing, ok? Nothing happened in there."

"Then why are you crying?"

"It's been a hard day, I'm just releasing the tension."

Dawson looked into her eyes, not buying at all her answer.

"Joey, it's me. You can tell me if something's wrong, whatever it is."

"No, Dawson…I can't talk to you about this."

"Why not? Try."

Joey looked away, shaking her head.

"…Because I'm the cause of the problem, right?", he assumed at last.

She stared at him, very sad.

"Dawson…"

"No, don't say anything, I get it…You and Pacey want to get back together but you think you can't do it because of me, but that's not true, for me… – Dawson made a nervous smile – it's ok."

"Dawson–

"After all he loves you as much as I do with the only difference that you love him back, so what else can I do?-

"Dawson, me and Pacey won't get back together!", she interrupted him.

Dawson remained baffled and kind of relieved for a moment.

"What…I…I thought that…", Dawson mumbled, before exhaling with a timid smile.

Joey looked at him with disappointment, then she turned around to get away.

"No, Joey, wait! I didn't mean to seem relieved. It's just that-

"Dawson, can you do me a favor?", she stopped him.

"Sure, anything."

"Considering what happened and what will not happen, could you at least give a second chance to Pacey? He's a really good friend, much more that you believe."

Dawson stared at her, confused. Then, Joey walked away.

Dawson kept on observing her leaving and then he sighed, very thoughtful.