Hermione opened her eyes with difficulty and rolled onto her back with a groan. A bright light shone through the window, and a calendar on the wall mockingly showed that she had been in a fever for four days. Magic… Hermione clenched and unclenched her fingers carefully, listening to herself. She was alive rather than dead, but she was in no hurry to run anywhere just yet. The past few days had eloquently noted that if she did not take care of herself, she could get into big trouble.
The apartment was empty. Silence rang in her ears, water was dripping somewhere in the kitchen. She still needed to fix that damned faucet. Someday, she would be able to do little more than waddle to the bathroom and back again. Her stomach complained loudly that it was being brazenly ignored. The smell of healing potions hit her nose.
The sick head did not think well. Hermione struggled to remember Sirius' reproaches, their skirmish in the pouring rain, the memories she'd pulled out of her head at ten thoughts a minute. She was exhausted and drained. Severus had told her that mental magic was not something to be trifled with...
Granger jumped up as if scalded as the vague events of the last days came crashing down on her head like an irreversible Bludger. Looking around, the witch hobbled to the kitchen and stared dumbfounded at the countertop. That whole ordeal with Sirius was forgotten by seeing the numerous racks, potions, and ointments, some she recognized as restorative and vitamin potions, and some she saw for the first time. Judging by the color and smell, these were Severus' new projects. Inspection of the refrigerator also showed Hermione that the guy did not waste his time, cooking chicken broth, oatmeal, and steam cutlets for his unfortunate patient.
She made a good mess here, nothing to say. Her inner voice squeaked something about that it was not her fault, she was ill, magically exhausted, and her subconscious played a cruel joke with her mind... Oh... She clung to Severus like a vine, drawing on his strength, which he generously shared, just as her husband did in their mutual past. What would he think of her now? And how could she explain everything to him? And would she need to explain anything?
"Husband, come out, I know you're there," Hermione croaked and coughed. She glared at the faucet and dosed herself with a glass of water. Snape stalked out of pastoral speed straight to the center of the frame and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Welcome back to the human world," he muttered and frowned as he looked at his wife's pale face and her trembling hands.
"Something you're not too happy about," Hermione snapped back and leaned her elbows on the tabletop. She still considered herself weak, but her curiosity was stronger.
"We ruined everything. Or rather, you did. I helped where I could, but we're in big trouble."
"Thank you, you always know how to support me in difficult situations," Hermione replied lazily, looking out the window at how nature rejoiced at the new day. Severus continued to fume.
"Tell me, what should I tell you? You got into a fight with Black, you blabbed everything to him here! You experienced the magical depletion, you caught a cold, and almost ruined the entire operation!"
"And do you know why?" Hermione yelled back. She wanted to take a shower, have coffee, and throw a scandal. Her husband, as always, successfully accused her of every sin in the world. "Because you're stuck in my head! Of course, my magic recognized yours when you entered my thoughts! My magic accepted you!"
"You are my wife! Of course, it did!"
"You're dead, Severus! I deceive myself and you, I meet you in the illusion of happiness! I need to think about how to prevent Voldemort from resurrecting, how to destroy the Horcruxes and build a new life here, but instead, I continue to scrape off some crumbs of past happiness, and I can't accept the fact that we will no longer exist! Yes, I fed on young Severus' magic because I miss you!"
"Don't yell," the portrait Snape grimaced. Of course, she was right, but what could he do? Hermione meanwhile continued.
"I will tell him everything! What else can happen?"
"Quite a bunch of people already know you're from the future!"
"And what? There is no future, do you understand? I'm still there. I don't want, like you, to shake all my life over illusions and lose everything that was dear to me in the end. I failed everybody, Severus, and now I want to correct those mistakes! My parents, Harry, Ron, you! All of you are no more, or will never be in my life, but he is here, this young version of you! And Sirius, and Remus, and even Lily! Why can't they be my invited friends? Why can't I ask for help? Hermione Granger is not made of steel, Severus! I am a human, and I get scared, hurt, and lonely. This bond between you and me drives me crazy! I can't touch you, I can't go for a walk in Hogsmeade, I can only lie to myself! I can only feel you for a fleeting moment, and it drives me crazy! You are not here, but he is. And what difference does it make if we start a romance earlier or later? I don't need others! I need you, Severus!"
Hermione's hysteria turned into screams. Severus grew silent. Vials clinked in the cupboards. The curtains moved on the windows. The potion boiled, although the fire did not burn. Another second and she'd have a magical fit.
"I didn't do anything wrong!" Hermione yelled, not knowing exactly who she was talking to. At that moment, the front door opened and Severus entered the apartment. Assessing the situation, he rushed to the kitchen and grabbed Hermione in an armful.
"Hush, hush there... Calm down, Maya, everything is fine. You are at home, you are safe. Nothing threatens you. Can you hear me?"
"I didn't want to… I didn't want to… I didn't do anything… I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Of course, you didn't do anything wrong, you were scared, and you got seriously ill. Well, don't cry, hey, listen? Hush… Shhh…"
Hermione sank to the floor, shaking with sobs. Severus wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against him, rocking her in his arms. Now he absolutely did not care what secrets she was hiding, and why her magic accepted him so easily, she was hurt, scared, cold. Just like Severus was all too often. And next to him then there was no friend who could lead him out of the darkness. He understood. Too good. Maya clung to him again, burying her nose in his shirt and generously pouring her tears over it. The uncontrollable magic that had built up around them subsided. Now she was just a woman. And she felt bad.
"Shall we take you to the shower? Then I'll make you breakfast, okay?"
Severus spoke quietly as if speaking to a child or a damaged person. Hermione wasn't too sure which category he placed her in. But she did not want to understand the meaning of his words. She just wanted to listen to him. She was really too tired of everything and everyone.
"Everyone left me, you know?" She whispered like a mantra. Severus stroked her hair.
"We will make new friends. Black, though a fool, turned out to be a good fellow. Remus, your cousin, or who is he to you? They won't quit. Lily, again, she is mischievous, she wants to be the best in everything, but she is good. Though hysterical from time to time. I'll introduce you to Alice, she's a true friend. You have experienced a lot, and brought yourself to exhaustion, it's also impossible, Maya. You need to be taken care of. No one should be alone, do you hear me? And if I had not been there, what would have happened then? Stupid, stupid witch."
"Have you been around all this time?" Hermione whined, smearing her tears with her sleeve. "Why?"
Severus decided to forget all conventions and propriety. When was this working-class boy from Manchester decent?
"There's something about you that got me hooked. They say about people like you: "Girl with thorns."
Hermione snorted through her tears and shook her head.
"And you still can't tell that you love bossy women?"
"I am a man of many talents." Severus smiled as he helped her up. "Come on, let's fix you up. I'll finish my potions for clients, and then... Shall we go to Hogsmeade? Or to the park? Or where do you want?"
Hermione looked into his eyes and nodded. "Let's go. Anywhere where you will lead."