The 16th Annual Kim Possible Fannie Awards
From the Desk of Sharper
With contributions from F86Sabre53, Gothicthundra, and bcbdrums
Greetings, everyone, and welcome to another installment of the Fannie Awards! Things have been a bit different in the past two years with the pandemic, but the show must go on! So, sit back and relax, and revel in the festivities of the 16th Annual KP Fannie Awards!
Kim Possible characters and settings were created by Schooley and McCorkle and are (c) to Disney.
Dr. Saira Bellum and VILE are all from Carmen Sandiego (2019) created by Broderbund.
Locations, character relationships, and the overall setting used in the Fannies are primarily out of my (Sharper's) headcanon, but also incorporate ideas from other members of the Kimmunity. The Fannies exist in their own universe that grows and develops over the years, and are a semi-continuing story with multiple references to Fannies past and other well-known fanfics in the Kimmunity.
Justin Possible-Stoppable (Hotrod2001) and Alexa Possible-Stoppable (KPRS4ever) are the OC's of two wonderful KP fans and good friends of mine. All OC's mentioned are the full property of their creators and are used with permission.
This fanfic is rated T for language, an obscene gesture, thematic material involving a pandemic, some crude humor, some action violence, and some suggestive material including innuendo.
Chapter 1 – The Invite
(August 27, 2020, 4:30pm, Middleton, CO)
It had been twelve days since the chaotic 15th Fannie Awards co-hosted by Gothicthundra and BCBDrums.
Kim and Ron Possible-Stoppable, now thirty-one years and eight months old, were driving home from work at Global Justice, which was their usual routine. They pulled their Sloth 5.0 hyper-advanced SUV, complete with GJ's logo on the doors, into the driveway and Kim activated the garage door opener to their four-car garage, which included an SUV for family use and two station wagons from the 1960s that Ron had restored from his late grandfathers. Thankfully, the Stoppable-mobile (the infamous pea-green 90s minivan that they once had) was not there, due to the infamous South Dakota vacation during which they legally changed their names.*
Kim pulled into the vacant space and turned off the work SUV.
"Well...there goes another workday in the books, KPS," Ron said as he got out of the car. Rufus followed behind on his shoulder. He too wore a small GJ uniform.
"Just one more day to go until the weekend, Ron," Kim replied expectantly.
Also coming out of the car were their two kids: Justin, now seven years old and in the second grade and Alexa who was four-and-a-half and in kindergarten. Both were still in their booster seats.
"I was good for Miss Carter today!" Alexa said, clapping her hands and waving a picture drawn with crayons as Kim picked her up out of the car. "I drew a picture of a house today!"
"That's good, sweetie!" Kim replied with a smile. "I'm glad you did not get into any trouble today!"
"And I got an A+ on my math test!" Justin added, holding up a test of multiplication tables bearing a bold 100%.
"See, sport! Told ya practicing the tables would work!" Ron added while getting Justin out of his booster seat. He grabbed his backpack as well.
Kim then locked the car with its state-of-the-art security system. She turned to her husband and added, "Ron, can you check the mail?"
"I can surely do that, Kim!" Ron replied. He added to Kim's armful by passing Justin over and headed to the mailbox.
"Let's see..." he said, going through the mail. "Bill...bill...oh, the latest CB Monthly magazine for the wonderful woman that I love!"
"Why thank you, Ron!" Kim smiled as she received the magazine. "I'll go through the rest of the mail."
Kim then continued with the Possible-Stoppable mail call.
"...Bill...junk...invite to Professor Dementor's retirement party...bill...junk..."
Ron interrupted her. "Wait, KPS! Go back two!"
Kim pulled out the invitation.
"Let's see what it says here..." Kim said with suspicion. The invite was written in German.
RUHESTAND FÜR PROF. DEMENTOR
Sie sind hiermit eingeladen, im Namen von VILE (Villain's International League of Evil) die böse, teuflische und schurkische Karriere von Professor Heinrich von Dementor und seinen Übergang in den Ruhestand zu feiern. Sie findet am Samstag, den 19. September 2020 um 19:00 Uhr Ortszeit im Berliner Congress Center statt.
Für Abendessen und Getränke ist gesorgt.
Formelle Kleidung (Smoking für Männer, lange Abendkleider für Frauen) ist erforderlich.
Niemand unter 13 Jahren ist erlaubt (da es einen Toast und Braten für Dementor mit einigen unangemessenen Witzen für ihn geben wird).
Antwort an Dr. Bellum bis zum 4. September 2020
"Can you translate that, Kim?" Ron asked, "Because I took the basic level of German in high school... Flunked the class. Barkin gave me extra homework."
Kim giggled a bit and said, "Ron, I took four years of German in college, so it'll be no big for me!"
She then read through the invitation and gave the English translation to Ron.
RETIREMENT PARTY FOR PROF. DEMENTOR
You are hereby invited, on behalf of VILE (Villain's International League of Evil) to celebrate Professor Heinrich von Dementor's evil, diabolical, and villainous career and his transition to retirement. It will be held at the Berlin Congress Center on Saturday, the 19th of September, 2020 at 7:00pm local time.
Dinner and drinks will be provided.
Formal attire (tuxedo for men, long evening gowns for women) is required.
No one under the age of 13 is permitted (as there will be a toast and roast for Dementor with some inappropriate jokes for him).
RSVP to Dr. Bellum by the 4th of September, 2020
"So, do you think Dementor is really retiring from the villain game?" Ron asked. "I don't know if it's legit or not... Could be a trap set by VILE..."
"Ron, if it were a trap, we would be entangled in cables, chains, or ropes. Which do you see on us or the kids? No," Kim deduced. "But still, we'll get Wade on this."
Kim activated her Kimmunicator 5.0 wristwatch and Wade came on.
"Wade! Got a sitch for you," Kim said.
"Anything I can do for the GJ team!" Wade replied.
"We received an invite to Dementor's retirement party..." Kim replied, "but we don't know if it's legit or not."
"Interesting that you say that Kim, because I got the same thing in the mail just now," Wade said, holding up the invite.
"Can you put it in the GJ-issue document scanner?" Kim asked.
"Scanning right now," Wade replied. He put the invitation in the scanner. After a few minutes, the results came through. "The paper has a fine gradient to it, laced with red and black fibers," he explained. "It is the same paper used for all of VILE's documentation."
"So, VILE is for real this time. The longest-running villain, and the last one in my original rogues' gallery is hanging up the helmet," Kim replied in surprise.
"It took him almost seventeen years to the day we first encountered him," Ron recalled.
"Ah yes, the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer!" Kim sighed. "Good memories!"
"Um...Daddy? Are you going to open the door?"
"Huh? Oh right, sport!" Ron exclaimed, snapping out of his trance. They bid goodbye to Wade as he opened the door to the Possible-Stoppable house. The family entered and Ron put the keys into the dish with a clink.
"So Ron, how does a trip to Germany sound to you?" Kim asked.
"KPS, I am all for it. But what are we going to do about the kids?" Ron questioned. "We can't leave them home alone!"
"I know! But I already have a babysitter in mind to keep them company while we're out of the country!" Kim replied.
"Who...?" Ron asked.
* Stoppable Family Vacation (M), by Sharper the Writer