A/N: If we missed tying up a loose end, please let us know! Thanks for sticking with us for so...very...long. And now...
Chapter 38 – The Conclusion of the Matter
The TV producers didn't bother cutting to commercial as the action in the Rockwaller Opera House was some of the most interesting television that had occurred since the start of the pandemic.
In the rigging above the stage, Kim stood in a fighting stance and the cameras panned upward to catch what would no doubt be some heart-stopping action.
"Give it up, Electronique!"
"No! I am sick of this ridiculous celebration!" the villainess cried in response. "What are you waiting for, get her!"
Game Controller pointed his remote at Kim in response, but before he could fire she had kicked it out of his hand and it flew out into the auditorium, lost in the dark. Game Controller lost his footing and slipped from the rigging with a cry, only just catching the edge with his hand before he could plummet to certain doom.
Below them on the stage, Gothicthundra and Split-N-Splice were successfully corralling the glowing rabbits, which left the rest of the hall even darker and the mutant raygehog's impossible flight even more ominous.
"Help!" Graeme cried as his gloved fingers began to slip.
Kim had leapt past the spot where he stood and was engaged in combat with Electronique, the cameras capturing each skilled kick, punch, and dodge as the two women battled for dominance on the narrow, swaying precipice.
"Electronique!"
The camera panned and refocused on the face of Hego, his arm outstretched toward the villainess while his other arm held back an enraged Dementor with a palm covering the retired villain's face.
"I beg you, give up your vile ways!" Hego continued.
"Zat is my wife!" Dementor protested, his voice muffled behind Hego's hand as he swung wild punches out toward the superhero.
"As if you've been acting like it!" Electronique paused to shout before dodging a roundhouse kick from Kim.
"On that note," another voice joined the conversation, and Hego stopped and released Dementor as Dr. Drakken stood authoritatively in front of them, "perhaps you should be more worried about the other villains in this room."
Hego glanced around at the chaos that was continuing to unfold. Drinks, cupcakes, condiments, and food from the vending machines was still flying through the nearly-vacated room dealt by the writers, guests, and mostly villains who had elected not to flee. The room was lit intermittently by lightning bolts from the raygehog as DNAmy continued to pursue Monkey Fist and Duff, and by the explosions of the latter's golf balls against the creature's seemingly impenetrable hide. But before another word could be spoken, an imposing figure loomed in the doorway from which Amy had been unleashing her mutant beasts, a massive silhouette of a man framed by the light from the hallway.
"You can't have condiments…" a deep voice thundered raunchily, "without hot dogs!"
Mustard Meister, Tomato Tyrant, Major Mayonnaise, and Renegade Relish all froze in fear as they looked to the source of the voice: a threatening figure shaped like a sumo wrestler but dressed like a New York street vendor.
"The Weiner Warrior!" they all exclaimed in fear, scattering as the man's booming, evil laugh rang through the hall while he wielded nunchuks made of sausage in each hand, advancing toward his apparent adversaries.
With these new distractions, no one noticed Drakken squaring up to Dementor who looked near to exploding as he watched Hego advance toward the stage.
"What's the real story?"
"Vhat?" Dementor said in irritated distraction.
Drakken moved in front of him to block his view of the rigging, leaning left and right as the shorter man tried to see past him.
"Your conspirating with Starlet and setting up Dover is all on the security cameras. What's actually going on?"
Dementor scowled and looked about to protest, but then his expression calmed to a degree.
"I should have listened to my schatz," he muttered, before glaring up at Drakken. "It is not me you want."
"But you were involved," Drakken said, a smirk beginning to form at the corners of his mouth.
Dementor's eyes widened as he realized the direction the conversation was taking.
"Maintaining friendships with villains after retirement is not a crime!"
"Ah-ah-ah… But if you're aware of a crime and you don't report it…" Drakken said smugly as he waggled his finger in Dementor's face.
"You have certainly fallen far since you joined zhat abhorrent Global Justice," Dementor spat accusingly.
"But haven't you heard?" Drakken said as Ken Trepid and his security team rushed to surround Dementor. "Shego and I resigned our commissions there months ago."
"And vhat have you been up to zhe last several months, hmm? Unhand me, you have nothing against me!" Dementor protested as two Global Justice officers tentatively tried to grab his arms.
At the question, Drakken recoiled slightly. "Eh-heh… Well, you see…"
"Let's go!"
The sudden interruption of Dr. Bellum distracted both Drakken and Dementor. She grabbed the latter's arm, a nervous expression on her face, but the professor was unmoved as he looked pitifully up at his wife who was still battling Kim.
"You can arrest this one," Shego said confidently, startling the other woman as she appeared behind her.
"Villains have amnesty at the Fannies," Dr. Bellum said with a confident smirk, her posture relaxing.
The Global Justice guards held their ground, an impasse having been reached, but a voice from the stage distracted those immediately below.
"Help, please! I changed my mind I don't wanna be a supervillain!" Graeme whined as death seemed to loom before him.
"Hang on!" Ron said, moving to give Graeme a hand.
"I'll help!" a voice from below cried, and Ron looked down to see Whitem had joined the others on stage.
At that moment, Kim landed a punch to Electronique's jaw that resounded with a crack that could be heard above the hubbub by those nearby. The woman slipped and nearly fell from the rigging, only stopped by Kim reaching out and catching her under her arm while she held onto a cable to steady herself.
"Vhy, how dare you!" Dementor cried in horror, breaking past the growing crowd and running up the stage steps. He barreled past Sharper and BCB, who dodged the small tank of a man, but he didn't see Whitem and crashed into the distracted writer's back, sending them both to the floor.
A small, electronic device slipped from Whitem's pocket and activated with a hum.
"Help!" Game Controller cried just as his gloved fingers lost their grip. He began falling toward the stage with a terrified scream that arrested the attention of the entire room. But at that moment, the device next to Whitem opened a large, flat portal, a swirling dark nebula at its center and fire swirling at its edges. Game Controller landed in the portal, his scream instantly swallowed by its depths.
Everyone in the auditorium gawked, and Electronique took the chance to wrench her arm away from Kim. The heroine gasped as the villainess fell feet-first toward the portal, vanishing in the blink of an eye just as quickly as had Game Controller.
"No, my schatz!" Dementor cried, scrambling to his feet.
"Professor Dementor, stop!" Kim shouted, but the warning was futile as he too dove head-first into the portal.
"Hey, Whitem, what's up with this thing?" Sharper asked nervously.
Before anyone could react further, the raygehog sent a bolt of lightning from its tail directly toward the portal, clearly attracted by the movement. The mysterious magical space rippled but seemed unaffected by the attack.
For just a moment, the room was silent as everyone took in this new development, and Tricia's cameraman zoomed in on the swirling portal where the trio of villains had vanished to parts unknown. But the moment was broken as the Wiener Warrior dropped his nunchuks only to pull out two chain guns and begin firing at his fellow food villains, the 'bullets' being tiny Vienna sausages covered in barbecue sauce.
"Eat sauce!" the portly man shouted, and the food fight began anew among the remaining villains, writers, and other guests at the Fannies.
"Not so fast!" Drakken called as Dr. Bellum began silently walking up the aisle toward the exit. Ken and the Global Justice guards surrounded her once again. The goggle-wearing woman frowned and crossed her arms.
"Amnesty," she stated bluntly. "Besides, you have no grounds to arrest me."
"Except the research I've been doing over the past several months, to answer Dementor's question," Drakken said confidently. "The TEVID-20 virus was no accident."
Those in hearing distance gasped, the fleeing and fighting momentarily stopping around the small group after Drakken's bold claim.
"Psht. The accident was recorded on our security cameras," Dr. Bellum protested.
"Except that the accident was planned," Drakken stated. "I've been analyzing the virus. It was engineered with the ability to attach to a pollen without harm that is incredibly prolific in the German autumn months and has a broad range of travel once released by its flower, the parent plant originating of course in Bavaria."
"What do you know about plants?" Dr. Bellum spat back.
Drakken opened his mouth to reply and then clamped his jaw shut and gave Shego a longsuffering look.
"That's not all you found," Shego encouraged.
Drakken took a deep breath. "It was also engineered to mutate with changes in temperature and is resistant to harsh environments to not lose any potency through the changing of seasons or climates. So that no matter where on the globe it traveled, it would do maximum damage."
"I've also been doing some reconnaissance," Shego chimed in. "Turns out the ventilation in the Bavaria lair was deliberately tampered with. It was even programmed to fail within the virus lab if some outside company came in to repair it."
"And there's also the curious departure of all high-ranking VILE members from that part of the world at the same time Dementor retired. To remote islands," Dr. Director said, stepping down the aisle toward the growing crowd surrounding Dr. Bellum. "We didn't know you had a lair in Vanuatu, Saira."
Dr. Bellum was looking angrier by the second, her brow furrowing above her goggles and a frown creasing her cheeks.
"All of this means absolutely nothing. Besides, you know VILE couldn't get away with something like this. Why do you think we've never tried biological warfare before?"
"Because it's against the agreement you have with Global Justice," Drakken stated plainly.
Dr. Bellum scowled. "And since when is it in our agreement to have your agents snooping around our lairs?"
"As everyone seems to keep conveniently forgetting…we resigned our commissions months ago," Drakken said, a smug grin bisecting his face.
Dr. Bellum's jaw dropped, clearly having forgotten that small detail.
"What Shego and I do, we do as free agents. And who we choose to share our information with is our own business."
"Since you're not a stranger to rule-breaking," Shego said, "I'm sure you'll understand if everyone overlooks the Fannies amnesty rule this time. Bringing someone to justice who caused a global pandemic seems kinda more important."
At that moment, the raygehog shot a blast down toward the condiment battle that was still occurring in the center of the room, most of the rest of the fighting and fleeing having stopped in favor of ogling the bizarre scene. The lightning bolt ignited the plush fabric of one of the opera house's seats, eliciting gasps from watching eyes.
Dr. Bellum took this moment to dart past Drakken and Shego, racing through the growing crowd toward the stage.
"Stop, in the name of justice!" Dr. Director cried as she began pursuit. But it was to no avail, as the councilwoman of VILE rushed up the stage steps.
The raygehog, apparently attracted by the quick movement, fired an electrical bolt from its tail just as Dr. Bellum dove into the portal that still swirled on stage next to Whitem. She vanished just before the blast struck its flaming rim, sparks flying all around. Whitem, Sharper, and BCB ducked away from the golden splash of embers, but a stray spark fell upon the device that had apparently activated the portal to begin with. The sound of circuits sizzling was heard, and then in the blink of an eye the portal vanished.
"Uh oh," Whitem said, picking up the ruined device with a frown.
"Well… That took a turn," Ron said after a moment.
"Ron!" Kim cried, and the blond looked up just in time to see another electrical blast heading straight for him. He backflipped away and landed in a crouch next to Kim, who grabbed the rigging for balance as it swayed.
"How are we gonna stop this thing, KPS?" he asked.
"I think you're going to stop this thing," Kim replied. Her gaze left the mysterious flying creature and darted around the room. "But first, we need a distraction. And I think I have just the one. Killigan!"
Beneath the raygehog, Monkey Fist was looking humiliated standing in between a screaming DNAmy and an exasperated Duff Killigan, the latter waving his golf club in the air like a sword. At the sound of Kim's shout, all three looked above the stage to where Kim and Ron held onto the lighting rigging.
"We need a distraction!"
"Are you daft!?" Killigan replied. "The beastie has already singed my best kilt!"
As proof, the Scotsman turned around and showed the burned spot on his rear. Monkey Fist dropped his face into his hands, and Amy continued screaming something about Duff stealing her 'sugar booger.'
"We've got this," Shego interrupted, and she almost casually sent several glowing green volleys toward the creature's face. This, more than anything thus far, seemed to infuriate the raygehog. Electricity sizzled across its quills and its tail began to glow as a massive electrical charge built.
"Ron, now!"
Drakken grabbed Shego's hand and yanked her out of the way just as a massive blast scorched the air in the opera house and left a small crater in the floor where the couple had been standing a moment prior. But while the creature was distracted, Ron's entire body had begun to glow a deep blue. The haunting sound of the cries of monkeys echoed through the opera house as Ron leapt from the rigging, fairly floating his way to the creature where he landed right between its eyes.
He set a hand on its hide, and almost instantly the sizzle of electricity in the air began to fade. As suddenly as it had all begun, the chaos waned as the raygehog gradually calmed under Ron's power.
"No! It's my beastie!" Amy protested as she helplessly watched the loss of her secret weapon. But before she could decide on any action, Dr. Director snapped handcuffs around her wrists.
"You were doing so much good, Dr. Hall," Betty said with a lamenting shake of her head.
"Monty!" Amy cried as he and Duff took the chance to flee toward the nearest exit.
Kim lowered herself to the stage with her grappler as Ron brought the soothed creature down to hover just above the seats.
The condiment gang were still in their own world, throwing both verbal and liquid volleys at one another, until several Global Justice agents ran up under direction of Ken and cuffed them. The majority of the other remaining villains in the room took the chance to escape, not trusting the amnesty claim after the events that had unfolded.
"What should we do with it, Kim?" Ron asked, still aglow on top of the otherworldly creature.
"Well…" she mused, rubbing the back of her neck in perplexity.
"I'm sure the laboratory that confiscated Dr. Hall's other abominations can find a place for it," Wade commented. "But until they can come secure it…you'd better keep it under control, Ron."
"It's kinda cute when it's not destroying everything," Ron said with a grin. Rufus hopped out of his pocket and crawled across the hide of the raygehog until he was in front of its eye. A communication seemed to begin between the two animals, but the focus of the room was drawn back to the stage as a disgruntled Bonnie approached Kim.
"Are we done yet? It feels like this ceremony has been going on for years!" the brunette said in annoyance. "And my opera house is ruined!"
"Well…" Kim said, glancing around again as the remaining Fannies attendees had started emerging from hiding places and gathering near the front of the stage, albeit to the far left and right to keep their distance from the raygehog.
"We, uh…still have some business to wrap up before we can conclude, My Queen," Sharper said, emerging from behind the podium where he had hidden himself.
Just then, a glowing blue rabbit hopped over Bonnie's tapping shoe, startling her into a brief shriek. All eyes looked to where the bunnies were swarming Split-N-Splice with love and relief, the author kneeling down to beckon her hundreds of mutant pets toward her.
"That's right, Sharper!" Gothicthundra said suddenly, grabbing everyone's attention. "I think it goes without saying that the entire focus of the Fannies this year has been on my two favorite characters, Drakken and Shego!"
The two individuals in question took a step nearer to the stage, hand-in-hand, looking a bit worn out but also amused.
"So I think it's only fitting to announce that from now on, this ceremony will be called—" GT stepped to the stage wings and threw a large switch on the wall. The lights came back on with the humming of a backup generator, and the entire room was bathed in blue and green. And above the stage, a large banner unfurled. GT stepped back out and gestured to the banner proudly. "The Drakgo Fannies Awards!"
BCB took a deep breath and stepped nearer her friend. "Uh…while I like that sentiment a lot…don't you think that's a bit…presumptuous?"
"Of course not! Our ship has dominated the fandom for the last three years!"
"GT…" Sharper said, his eyes widening. "The lightbulbs…"
"And the cupcakes?" Wade said, "and the mysterious drinks?"
Tricia held her microphone forward as the cameraman zoomed in on the unfolding action onstage, not wanting to miss a single revelation.
GT cackled gleefully, a confirmation of the suppositions of her friends.
Betty and Ken exchanged a glance and started forward.
"If you hadn't started this the Fannies may not have ended in chaos!" Betty said.
"Chaos is my middle name!" GT exclaimed happily.
"The bunnies…?" BCB mused.
"We saw DNAmy release those," Sharper murmured to her.
"They were an exchange," Split-N-Splice commented quietly. "Which…GT asked to borrow…"
The two GJ officers started toward GT with the intent of arresting her, but the author skipped away, laughing all the while.
"Sharper… I think we need to finish this," BCB said.
"You're right, BCB," he agreed. He looked to the emcee, standing frightened in his booth, and signaled him to go ahead with the final prompts. "Can we have all the winners…those still here at least…come up onstage for a group photo?"
"Uh…guess that means you should arrest GT afterward," BCB called to Dr. Director.
GT was leading them on a wild goose chase around the back of the stage, the pursuit hindered by a few stray rabbits hopping here and there.
The winners still in the auditorium approached the stage and stood in a very disorganized crowd, with Kim, Wade, and Bonnie standing at one end of the group and Drakken and Shego at the other. Ron floated the raygehog down to hover above and behind the crowd to join the picture.
"Before we end the night, there's one more honor I would like to give," Sharper said. The gathering crowd watched him curiously as he beckoned his co-host nearer. "I know in chapter one it says this year's Fannies came from my desk, but nearly the entire story this year was written by my good friend BCB. It wouldn't have happened without her. If you enjoyed all the months of chaos, please, give her some well-deserved appreciation!"
BCB grinned and brushed her hair back from her face nervously as applause rang out. "Thanks, Sharper."
Onscreen, the full list of winners was displayed:
The 16th Annual Kim Possible Fannies Winners (2020)
Best KP-Style Name – Carmella Sweets, Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best KP OC – Captain Brooks, And You and I by Niaxi
Best Minor Character – Motor Ed, Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best Villain – Dr. Botox, Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best AU – Stone House, Forest of Oak by bcbdrums
Best Crossover – Sky Blue, Ocean Blue by purplegirl761
Best Alt-Other Canon Pair – Adrenna Lynn/Frugal Lucre, Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best Kigo – And You and I by Niaxi
Best Drakgo – Pandemic by bcbdrums
Best Kim/Ron – Come In by Gothicthundra
Best Comedy – Even Naked Mole Rats Believe in Santa by Whitem
Best Romance – Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best Friendship – Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best Action-Adventure – Random Tales of Drakgo by Gothicthundra
Best Drama – The Company You Keep by split-n-splice
Most Unlikely-Unique Story – Cheerleader on the Edge of Forever by campy
Best One Shot (K-T) – Momentary Passings by Whitem
Best Short Story (K-T) – Blind Spot by Gothicthundra
Best Medium-Sized Story (K-T) – Adrift by bcbdrums
Best Novel-Sized Story (K-T) – Tara is the Girl Next Door by JStormRaider7
Best M-Rated One Shot – Save On Time by Gothicthundra
Best M-Rated Short Story – Love Burns by split-n-splice
Best M-Rated Medium Story – Just Hold Me by bcbdrums
Best M-Rated Novel-Sized Story – And You and I by Niaxi
Best Series – The Company You Keep by split-n-splice
Best Young Author – sammisue
Best New Author – Niaxi
Best Single Line – from Pandemic by bcbdrums
CPNeb Award – bcbdrums
Kimmunity Achievement Award – Gothicthundra
Best Reviewer – bcbdrums
Best Story of 2020 – And You and I by Niaxi
Best Writer of 2020 – Niaxi
and the new record for most wins in a single Fannies year with eleven awards…Gothicthundra!
"I can't believe you suspected me!" Bonnie whispered harshly to Kim as the scared photographer began taking his place.
"We didn't really!" Kim said. "All the clues pointed to a set-up."
"But we had to leave our minds open so we didn't miss any details," Wade added.
"Well, I hope your organization will cover whatever my insurance doesn't," Bonnie said.
Kim sighed and offered a smile and a nod.
"Wait!" GT cried from her place among the other writers, her arms now held by Betty and Ken on either side. "What about the special announcement?"
There were murmurs of confusion and everyone gradually followed GT's gaze to where Drakken and Shego stood, the former looking a bit anxious. His wife gave him a small shove of encouragement and he stepped forward out of the crowd.
"Yes, well…" Drakken began.
"What is this about?" Wade asked in perplexity.
Shego stepped forward. "Everyone has been asking what happened to us, why we left Global Justice and disappeared during this pandemic. We needed to be freelance for what Drakken wanted to do."
All eyes turned to Drakken.
"There's…no other way to say it except to just say it," he said, looking nervous. "I have developed a vaccine for the TEVID-20 virus."
Gasps filled the room at the pronouncement. The first to respond was James Possible, from behind his patented PP mask.
"You mean…you've had time to test it, prove its efficacy, be certain it's safe?" the scientist said in amazement.
"Yes," Drakken said simply. His tone was confident and without arrogance.
"And it's ready for global distribution," Betty said, stepping forward.
"You knew…" Kim said incredulously. "That's why you've been so elusive about everything regarding the virus."
"Global Justice had no involvement in the development of any vaccine," Betty said, the line clearly scripted.
"I was the first human subject," Shego said.
"And you've been successful with others?" Wade asked. "How did this slip past me?"
"As deadly as VILE made the virus to be, it was easy to find takers for the vaccine. Too many have had their lives irrevocably altered….wait."
Shego nodded at Drakken's uncertain look. "That's the right word."
Drakken grinned. "Irrevocably altered, so volunteers actually lined up to test it."
"But you would have had to have this confirmed by various official bodies, globally…" James Possible said, scratching his head.
"It works," Drakken said bluntly.
"What the world wants to do with it is up to them," Shego added.
"So…how much are you selling it for?" Kim asked, her tone saddening.
Drakken and Shego looked at each other, and Drakken tightly gripped Shego's hand as he swallowed nervously.
"No charge."
"What…?"
A murmur filtered through everyone gathered onstage and those in hearing below.
"You're just…giving it away?" Ron asked incredulously from atop the raygehog.
"Missed opportunity," Bonnie mumbled.
Drakken stood tall, unfazed by the mixed opinions surrounding him.
"A global pandemic isn't something to capitalize on."
Kim looked up at Ron, who smiled and flopped down on his belly atop the raygehog, chin propped up in his hands. Rufus mirrored the pose next to the creature's eye.
"All's well that ends well!" Ron said, the faintest echo of monkeys in his voice as he remained glowing blue.
Kim stepped in front of Drakken and Shego, setting a hand on each of their shoulders as she gave each of them a long, honest look.
"Wow… I guess…you two really are who I thought you were," she said with a broad grin.
"On the count of three…" the photographer said from below the stage. "One… Two…"
Kim hurried to stand back between Shego and Bonnie as the rest of the crowd of winners and presenters straightened onstage and smiled.
"Besides," Shego said with a smirk, "can't take over the world if there's no world to take over."
"What!?"
"Three!" The camera flashed.
The End