"Last night you left me and slept your own deep sleep."
— Jalāl al-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī (Rumi)
"Did old Mr. Saltzman just ask you for your autograph?" Bonnie's incredulous stage whisper brought a small smile to Caroline's face. Carefully weighing the lemon verbena bundles, Caroline rolled her eyes, bewildered by how their high school history teacher fell all over himself when he saw her. Apparently, people had been watching the show, she thought wryly. She knew the show was airing on a two-week delay, so she had some time before viewers would know she left. And who knew how those shady Hollywood types would spin it to their advantage. Evil bastards.
"Actually, he kind of just stared at me. You know, like he used to do with most of the girls in his class."
Carefully positioning a label with her shop's logo onto a glass jar, her friend snorted, "Not sure why you'd think things had changed around here — Mystic Falls is the one constant you can count on. Unfortunately, that's not always a plus." Shrugging, Bonnie added, "At least he doesn't smell like whiskey and shame anymore."
Tying together several candied citrus slices with the lemon verbena bundles, Caroline snidely remarked, "Yeah, now it's just shame." The women dissolved into giggles and Caroline knew she'd made the right choice to hide out in their hometown. It was the longest she'd gone without rage-crying since she'd arrived.
Stacking another tray of jars underneath the counter, Bonnie fixed her with the same concerned expression she'd worn for days now. "Since he was a fan of the show, I thought he might ask about...you know..." she trailed off awkwardly.
Me too. From the moment her old teacher had mentioned he'd been watching Heart and Kol (the cheesy title still didn't prepare you for how that reality dating show was an accidental parody of itself), Caroline had felt an overwhelming sense of dread as she braced for prying, awkward questions about Kol. Or, even worse — questions about Klaus if the show was shameless enough to air that clusterfuck.
Kol. Klaus. They were shallow Hollywood assholes who deserved to live in that fake plastic world. From the beginning, it had felt wrong to try to force a connection with Kol. The heart wants what it wants. But Klaus. Fuck. Only a few conversations and lingering glances and she'd been convinced they could be...something. He'd given an Oscar-worthy performance. Caroline hated how naïve she'd been, getting taken in by that glamorous world that was all style and no substance.
"You shouldn't be here, you know," Bonnie told her, dumping a package of dried peaches into the spice grinder. "Your ass barely touched my couch and suddenly you were begging to come help out in the shop." Adding black tea to the herbal blend, she grumbled, "You need to be taking some time and feel your feelings."
"ALL the feelings," Enzo pointedly said, interrupting the girls with a sassy flourish of his clipboard he'd been using to take inventory. Hopping up on the gleaming countertop, he casually leaned back on his palms to reveal, "Like how you felt whenever that weather twit, Andie, name-checked every local celebrity she'd worked with. Actually, she was rule number three on our drinking game for every time she brought up being a news anchor."
A small smile graced Caroline's lips as she thought back to the collective sigh of relief they all shared when Andie didn't receive a rose during that last ceremony. Her meltdown had been mostly off-camera, but her too-wide, Joker's grin when she realized she'd been eliminated felt like an origin story waiting to happen.
Cackling in delight, Enzo continued, "Of course, number one on our drinking game was Crazy-Eyes Aurora whenever she looked like she wanted to eat Kol's skin."
"We couldn't decide whether she was perpetually picking lint or that Kol just needed a bath," Bonnie offered with a silly grin.
Shuddering slightly, Caroline replied, "Katherine and I were convinced Aurora was collecting his hair for like a shrine or something." Katherine. It was bittersweet to think of her friend. When Caroline tore through the mansion that awful day, a part of her wanted to find Katherine and tell her all about it, but in that moment, she couldn't bear the thought of roaming that place full of phonies with cameras and twitchy PAs and egotistical producers dogging her steps. Those cameras saw too much.
Katherine had texted Caroline on the plane ride to Mystic Falls: Sorry men are assholes.
The producers had confiscated all of their phones before the show, so Caroline had been curious about how Katherine managed to keep her phone. Katherine's response did not disappoint: It turns out when you punch the show's star and then punch his brother before quitting their shitty dating show, the PAs practically hurl your phone at you as you stomp out the door.
In her darker moments, Caroline tried to imagine Katherine confronting Klaus and Kol and even though it hurt to think of them, knowing that Katherine had put them in their place (hopefully on camera) made her smile every time. According to Katherine, Hayley had made the PAs who'd rudely stalked Caroline on her way out the door burst into tears. They were both turning out to be good friends and once things had settled a bit and Caroline was back home, she hoped to invite them up. At least her idiotic foray into reality TV hadn't all been a waste.
Bonnie's arm was around Caroline's shoulders, her voice suddenly gentle as she said, "Hey, sorry about that — we didn't mean to stir things up like that. You take your time and we'll be here when you're ready to talk."
Letting out a bark of laughter, Caroline replied, "I took two days to wallow — one for each boy. They don't get any more of my time." Damn it — when did her cheeks get wet? Bonnie gave her a fierce hug and Enzo raced over to capture them both in a sweaty hug that had them all gagging because he'd been on inventory duty all morning and accidentally tipped a whole box of powdered asafoetida onto his head. There's a reason why its nickname was 'devil's dung'.
It felt unbelievably good to be there in that silly, stinky group-hug moment with her friends. Caroline knew eventually she'd need to deal with the messiness of her life, but right now it didn't matter. She still had another month or so of leave and wanted to take her time. She knew the show had helped raise her non-profit's profile and the donations had been pouring in; she was excited at the prospect of the community center finally getting to host more classes and exhibitions. At least something positive had come out of this mess.
"You guys are giving me the distraction I really need right now. In fact, helping out at your store gave me this great idea for an art project the community center can do with the kids using different tea leaves for staining and texture," Caroline told her friends, blue eyes twinkling with excitement.
"Now that's just classic Care — always helping others."
Caroline stiffened at the voice. She knew it was inevitable in a tiny town like Mystic Falls that she'd run into her ex, but she's hoped to delude herself a bit longer that Matt would have enough class to steer clear. Plastering on a neutral expression and clenching her fists so hard the knuckles cracked, Caroline slowly turned around. At least he'd had the decency not to bring Elena. While she'd been over her ex for ages now, that didn't mean she wanted to see how happy he was in his perfect little life with perfect Elena. Not when her own life was such a clusterfuck.
Matt was attractive in the way that former small-town quarterbacks tend to be, and Caroline could see why his classic good looks had once captured her interest. Squared jaw and vivid blue eyes along with broad shoulders and a clumsy earnestness certainly gave him appeal, but now she knew better. He was selfish and always needed to be the biggest fish in every pond. And he always made her feel like she was too much — too loud, too giggly, too everything. She'd never diminish her light for someone else ever again.
Enzo crossed his arms, scoffing as he muttered, "Could've sworn I already took out the trash today."
"There's always more trash in this town," Bonnie practically growled, aggressively pointing at the door behind Matt. "You. Out. Now."
Matt's expression fell, and he gave Caroline a sad smile and small wave before leaving.
She couldn't deny the primal, visceral satisfaction she briefly experienced in that moment of seeing Matt humiliated. But ultimately, as much as Caroline appreciated her friends' loyalty, she didn't like how this felt. Yes, Matt had hurt her deeply, but she'd been able to move past it. Hurting him now felt petty and small and like something her high school self would've done. With a grumbling sigh, Caroline followed Matt outside.
They hadn't spoken in...she couldn't even remember. But she knew it had been awful and brought out the ugly in them both. It wasn't uncomfortable to stand there with him, but she was starting to feel a little awkward now that small groups of people were standing off in the distance pointing at her excitedly. Most of them she recognized and even grew up with, so it was weird when she could see more than a few had their phones trained on her like she was a celebrity.
"You're famous, Care," Matt teased. "I was thinking about asking for your autograph myself."
Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Oh please — I'm reality-show famous. And not even for one of those cool reality shows where they battle it out in the wilderness or race across the world."
Matt cleared his throat, going a bit pink as he confessed, "Yeah, uh, I've been keeping up with your show and you were really good on there. Amazing, really. You were your sweet, beautiful self and your kind heart just drew everyone in like always." At her flabbergasted silence, he quickly asked, "So, I guess if you're home that means the show is over, right? Can I ask, uh, did the show turn out like you wanted?"
Kol revealing how she'd been used as a ratings grab. Klaus shouting her name as she raced away. "I'm not talking about that," Caroline replied, her tone coming out sharper than she intended.
"Right, because you probably had to sign all kinds of legal stuff," Matt reasoned, nodding at her in what he clearly thought was a sympathetic manner.
Caroline winced when she saw that more videos were being taken of them now. For fuck's sake, was that her middle school English teacher standing with her old dentist, each elbowing the other out of the way to get the better shot?! These people watched her grow up — how was this awkward conversation newsworthy? Also, Matt's clumsy tap-dancing finally had worked her last nerve. She blurted out, "Matt — this is getting too weird. We don't talk. And you damn well know why. So, what do you want from me?"
He seemed surprised by her directness and stumbled over his words. "I...I heard you came here and I just...I'd been watching your show and you were still the same even though you've been living this big city life and I don't know, uh, it just kinda felt like old times or something."
As though spurred on by her shocked expression, Matt hurriedly continued, "And I miss you, Care. So damn much. And seeing you with that actor guy just made it all clear to me that maybe we could find our way back to each other, you know?"
And then, that self-involved, clueless idiot actually leaned forward and brushed a blonde curl from her cheek! Bastard. Caroline angrily shoved aside his hand, glaring at her ex as she snarled, "You're unbelievable! You broke off our engagement and left me for Elena!" Shaking her head angrily, she told him, "You know, I thought I'd met the biggest egotistical asshats in the world. But it turns out I just needed to fly back home to find the worst one."
As he stammered and sputtered, she turned on her heel and marched back inside the shop, icily tossing over her shoulder, "Go back to your wife. You two deserve each other."
Caroline was trembling with righteous indignation when she slammed the door, and Enzo only had to glance at her face before his own contorted in fury and he grabbed a big spice jar and stomped toward the street. "Alright — let's do this."
"Enzo, no," Bonnie shouted in alarm, "Ceylon cinnamon is way too expensive." Nodding at the spice shelf behind him, she grinned and commanded, "Use the cheap-shit Earl Grey instead."
It was a struggle to talk Enzo down, but Caroline managed to prevent her friend from caving in her ex's skull with a spice jar. With a half-hearted promise from Bonnie to keep Enzo in line, Caroline went back to their house to try to get excited about meeting her mom for dinner that evening. She'd been a workaholic sheriff most of Caroline's life, leaving little time for them to have more than a surface relationship. One dinner wasn't going to fix what was wrong between them and they both knew it, but Caroline knew she'd feel even worse if she avoided her mom the entire time she was in town.
She'd just finished trying on everything she'd crammed in her suitcase for the second time when the doorbell rang. Muttering to herself, she grabbed a pair of strappy sandals she'd been debating and headed downstairs. Those heels read casual elegance in San Francisco, but came off as bougie-yet-slutty down here. But she'd hire Camille as her shrink before she wore flats to dine out.
Taking a deep breath, Caroline readied her sunny smile, assuming it was yet another nosy (albeit well-meaning) neighbor wanting to "accidentally" run into her and gossip about the show. She kept reminding herself that Bonnie and Enzo still needed to live in this town, and it wouldn't do them any good if she told everyone who asked if Kol was a good kisser to go fuck themselves.
"Can I help y—," the rest of her greeting died on her lips as she looked on in shock.
Klaus Mikaelson stood on Bonnie's doorstep, wearing a garish black eye that Caroline couldn't help but admire. Katherine had one hell of a right cross.