FOR A CONSIDERABLE TIME, ELEANOR HAD CHOSEN TO IGNORE EVERYTHING RELATED TO WHAT OTHERS WOULD CALL HER UNIQUE NATURE.
She despised the constant reminder that she wasn't normal. That she didn't age or share the same experiences as everyone else.
She loathed the fact that she had traversed childhood in a matter of mere months, progressed through adolescence within a handful of years, and now found herself eternally trapped in the guise of a woman barely reaching her twenties.
Though, of course, she acknowledged that being stuck in the latter was preferable to all the alternatives.
And because she had long resented what she was (and perhaps still did, secretly), Eleanor avoided all of Carlisle's insistent demands for medical examinations. What would be the purpose? To her, it seemed futile. Being aware of her vampire heritage was already a heavy burden; she had no interest in delving further into the subject.
As a result, she intentionally disregarded any new discoveries related to her kind.
Could they run and climb like typical vampires? Whatever, it didn't matter to her since she intended to lead as normal a life as possible.
Nessie had discovered that they could get hurt but heal quickly? Eleanor didn't really concern herself with the specifics. She simply made a mental note to be more cautious. Accidents happened, and though her vampire abilities granted her some level of protection, they weren't invincible.
Besides, she really didn't want to think of excuses for the mysterious disappearance of a cut or bruise from one day to the next.
And as time passed and Nessie became increasingly curious about their nature as hybrids, Eleanor only grew indifferent to it.
Of course, she understood Nessie's need to understand their bodies better. Her best friend had her own set of worries and questions, especially when it came to her relationship with Jacob.
Like whether she could ever have children with him.
Eleanor used to tease her about it, suggesting that the only way to find out was through practice. And even though at times her best friend would laugh and tell her to shut up with her cheeks flushed, deep down Eleanor knew it was a sensetive topic to her. Because Nessie always wanted it all—the romantic dates, the loving partner, the kids. A family of her own.
It seemed unbelievable that she was her mother's daughter.
And sometimes, sometimes, Eleanor had thought about the idea and wondered if she wanted the same thing as Nessie. As a child, she was sure the answer would have been yes right away. A big family like those she saw in pictures in magazines.
But as she grew older and gained a deeper understanding of her nature and its implications, her once simple dream of having a family became increasingly twisted and tangled.
Certainly, she didn't have the luxury of a shapeshifter's magical bond. While Renesmee was lucky to have Jacob—a supernatural being like her—with whom she could share the rest of eternity, Eleanor could only navigate between the two worlds, feeling the fear of rejection every time she found herself too vampire for the human world and too human for the vampire world.
The thought of anyone truly accepting her with all her complexities felt like an elusive dream.
Because, who could ever want to stay with her?
A vampire that could bleed and break. A human who would live forever.
"Again," Demetri commanded, extending his hand towards her. Eleanor purposely ignored the gesture, causing the vampire to release an exasperated sigh. She rose to her feet, bracing herself for yet another blow, knowing all too well that she would likely fail to evade it once again.
"This isn't fair," she whispered. "I don't possess the same reflexes as you."
"You have enough," Demetri retorted dismissively, "and Alec isn't even putting in much effort."
It became evident that Aro's interest in her went beyond just her gift. Similar to Carlisle's approach, Aro wanted to test the limits of all her abilities as a half-human, half-vampire being.
Of course, Carlisle hadn't been this sadistic about it.
While the head of the Cullen family had been inclined to perform safe tests and medical studies on Nessie's body, Aro had simply thrown her to his guard, eagerly awaiting how long it would take for her to finally break completely.
"It would be more beneficial if you focused on your strengths rather than dwelling on your limitations," Alec spoke softly to her.
In the short time she had spent there, Eleanor had come to realize that Alec was the only one she found tolerable.
She despised Aro and the way he treated her as an entertainment, a plaything he could take advantage of under the threat of ending Thomas' life. Which proved effective in any case.
She hated Demetri, she was sure.
She hated his lack of respect for human life, his apathy, and his unapologetic acknowledgment of it. And his attempts to feign friendliness only served to deepen her contempt. Eleanor was convinced that he wouldn't hesitate to end her life in an instant if Aro commanded him to do so.
Above all, she hated his pure existence. Because if Demetri didn't exist, she and Thomas would be safe, at home. Free from the reach of his tracking abilities.
Heidi? She hadn't had much time to get to know her. After her first day there, the alluring vampire simply disappeared from the castle. And while she was intrigued to know where or what she might be doing, she couldn't bring herself to pose that question to anyone.
And aside from Caius' hurtful comments, he and Marcus proved to be just as indifferent as the rest of the guard to her presence there.
No one really shared Aro's enthusiasm.
But the calm demeanor of Alec had set him apart. The vampire with the angelic face that held an air of innocence, though he was clearly older than a mere child, had proven to be decent enough for her to adress him peacefully. And the good thing was that he had shown genuine sincerity in his willingness to train with her.
Of course, Eleanor chose not to question his motives. Perhaps he was just bored, seeking for some kind of amusement. In the end it didn't matter to her; she preferred his company over being alone with Demetri.
Alec lunged at her once more, approaching with the grace and swiftness of a predator closing in on its prey. Despite her best efforts, Eleanor failed to anticipate his attack, and once again found herself knocked to the ground within a split second.
She was certain she would have some bruises from the impact somewhere. Fortunately, they would last one or maybe two days in her skin.
"Clearly a result of the weak lifestyle of Carlisle Cullen's coven," Demetri muttered disapprovingly.
Arching an eyebrow, Eleanor propped herself up on her elbows, locking eyes with him. "You mean the normal kind of life where we don't act like lurking monsters in the shadows?"
Alec let out a brief eye roll. "Let's not start the debate again."
She glanced at Alec with a slightly apologetic expression. The word "debate" was just a polite way of describing the heated arguments she and Demetri engaged in, which seemed to happen all too often.
And it was that ever since Eleanor had put into words her disdain for him a few days ago, dealing with him had strangely become somewhat more manageable. Admittedly, her nightmares involving him hadn't completely vanished, but she had come to a crucial realization during her time there.
Demetri wouldn't harm her unless Aro commanded him to do so.
And Aro wouldn't issue such a command unless she defied him.
And she would never defy him if it meant putting Thomas' life at risk.
It was an endless cycle from which no one could escape. But of course, esxiting the situation would result in dire consequences for just her and Thomas.
The Volturi, as always, would go unpunished.
"You are being soft on her."
A shiver ran down Eleanor's spine as she heard the small voice. In an instant, she stood up, her eyes fixated on the new figure now standing next to Alec.
Jane, much like the rest of the guard, had been indifferent to her presence. Eleanor had only glimpsed her on a few occasions. The angelic and ethereal beauty of her face was always etched with an air of seriousness and hardness, which only softened when Aro or her brother addressed her.
Nevertheless, despite Jane giving her no immediate cause for concern, Eleanor couldn't help but feel a lingering sense of wariness. She had heard too many unsettling things about the petite vampire to let her guard down. Memories of Edward's struggle to even speak of her and Eleazar's repeated comments about her sadistic nature echoed in her mind whenever she looked at her.
"And you haven't tested her gift yet," she added calmly, her serene eyes meeting Eleanor's alarmed ones. "Why don't we give it a little try?"
"We're not there yet, Jane," Demetri interjected, his stoic countenance betraying a subtle wariness, looking at the young girl as if she were a ticking time bomb.
"Our master will surely appreciate the practice of all her abilities," she persisted, a faint smile playing on her lips.
This time, Demetri's features hardened, his voice tinged with authority. "I said no, Jane."
But Jane disregarded his words, her vibrant red eyes fixated on her once more. Instinct surged within Eleanor, compelling her to take a step back, a futile attempt to create distance between herself and the unnerving vampire.
In the blink of an eye, it happened. A searing fire tore through Eleanor's body, engulfing her in relentless agony. Every nerve, every fiber of her being screamed in torment as the flames ravaged her from within. She convulsed on the ground, her body contorting in a desperate plea for relief.
Her screams echoed through the chamber, a haunting symphony of pain and despair that seemed to beg for death, as even death would be gentler than the pain she was experiencing at that moment.
"Stop it now," she heard someone say, but couldn't distinguish whose it was . Cold hands brushed against her writhing form, offering little solace against the relentless flames that devoured her, tearing her apart from within.
And slowly, very slowly, the pain faded away, replaced by total numbness. For a moment, Eleanor was unable to feel anything, unable to see, unable to hear. And she wondered if she had finally died. If the fire inside her had finally consumed her.
As her eyesight began to return, causing her to blink several times in an attempt to clear the black dots from her vision, she caught a bright hazy mist descending down her cruled form.
"Brother, you always spoil the fun," came Jane's voice, unmistakable in its sadistic delight.
She remained motionless for a few lingering seconds, her body still trembling with residual sensitivity, as if the echoes of pain had etched themselves into her very consciousness.
"Eleanor, are you okay?"
Demetri's voice, filled with genuine concern, reached her ears, breaking through the haze of her disorientation. She lifted her gaze, finding him crouched beside her, his intense carmine eyes fixed on her with unwavering attention. Time seemed to elongate as she stared back at him, her thoughts swirling in a chaotic whirlwind.
"I think I am," she murmured, her voice tinged with uncertainty. How could she be okay after enduring such excruciating pain? Yet, here she was, still breathing, still conscious.
As she spoke, she became aware of the coolness of Demetri's hand resting on her shoulder, anchoring her in the present moment. It dawned on her that she still remained in a curled position on the ground. Summoning her remaining reserves of strength, she mustered the determination to rise.
This time, instead of pushing him away, she allowed herself to lean into the support offered by the vampire. His grip on her arms was hard, yet oddly gentle, granting her the stability she desperately needed.
"I hope it wasn't too painful," Jane smiled innocently, her expression belying the cruel satisfaction lurking beneath.
Eleanor watched her with a blank expression. Her impulses, as always, propelled her forward, defying the rationality of her mind.
"Actually, I want you to do it again."
"What?" Demetri exclaimed in bewilderment, his grip tightening on her elbows, trying to pull her back towards him as if that act alone could shield her from Jane's imminent torment. "Have you lost your judgment?"
Jane couldn't help but burst into delighted laughter, her joy echoing that of a child. "No one has ever asked me to do it again," she said, her tone filled with amazement, much like Aro whenever he spoke to her.
"I think it can help me bring my shield back," Eleanor reasoned. She hadn't really given it much thought, but it made sense somehow. If Jane's gift was powerful enough to make her wish for death and if she could feel it for an extended period, her defensive abilities would have no choice but to come to the surface again.
Alec's lips curled into a small smile. "She truly has lost her mind," he said with amusement.
Eleanor's expression twisted into a grimace. Perhaps she had. But was that worse than facing the possibility of Aro deeming her useless and disposing of her, leaving Thomas vulnerable to harm?
Ironically, when she first arrived at the castle, she had fervently wished that Aro would find no practical value in her and simply let her go, sending his regards to Carlisle. But now that she understood the stakes, she couldn't shake the overwhelming sense that Thomas's very existence hung in the balance, dependent on her and whatever she could do.
And she wasn't willing to take that risk.
"We can try that with Alec," Demetri proposed, his brows furrowing slightly.
Eleanor shook her head. "It wouldn't have the same impact."
The desperation, pain, and agony would be absent.
"Come on, Demetri," Jane chimed in, reveling in the moment. "The young one is right. Why settle for something easy?"
"Because these training sessions are under my control," Demetri said sternly. ""And let's not forget, she still possesses a human side. I don't want you to break her completely before we finish here."
Eleanor couldn't help but scoff, much to Jane's delight. "As if you care," she frowned. "I've been enduring hits for the last several hours. I think I can handle this."
Demetri's gaze held a mix of anger and helplessness, his jaw visibly clenched. Something told Eleanor that he was not a admirer of Jane's gift. Yet, despite his reservations, she knew her defiant reply had already irritated him. Without further ado, he released his grip on her and took a few steps back, his voice conceding, "Very well."
Eleanor took a deep breath and nodded resolutely in Jane's direction, suppressing any trace of hesitation.
The mischievous smirk on the little girl's face only grew as she whispered the word Pain.
And once again, the all-consuming fire enveloped her, searing its way deep into her being. She fought against the urge to scream, knowing it was futile as her body succumbed to the inevitable fall to the ground. Every fiber of her being longed for respite, for any form of escape.
Closing her eyes tightly, Eleanor suppressed her cries, reducing them to small gasps escaping her lips.
In that moment, she wished for death. She yearned for the inferno to claim her completely, to reduce her to ashes or let her bleed out. Whichever came first with her hybrid nature.
But then, something inside her mind seemed to explode, a sensation reminiscent of the pain she had experienced before. It was akin to the time in Forks when she desperately wished she could shield herself and the Cullens during their inevitable confrontation with the Volturi.
And suddenly, everything ceased.
However, she could still see and hear, dismissing the possibility that Alec had intervened once again.
She placed her palms on the ground, gradually lifting herself up.
Jane observed her with a perplexed expression.
"Are you still doing it?" Eleanor inquired, her voice still breathless.
A look of frustration flickered across the girl's features. "I despise this," she mumbled.
Eleanor didn't need any further confirmation; a smile crept onto her face, and she felt elation building up inside her, almost on the verge of bursting into laughter. However, the lingering traces of pain throughout her body held her back.
If she had her gift back, Aro would be pleased. And if Aro was pleased, then Thomas would be safe.
That was all she wanted.
⸻
As she guessed, Aro was amazed. His laughter echoing throughout the cold chamber.
"Exceptionally well done," he praised. "You are very brave Eleanor. Ask Jane to endure such pain not once but twice..." Then, as if he had momentarily forgotten to compliment another one of his children, he turned his gaze to the little vampire. "And Jane, you have displayed exceptional ingenuity in finding alternative methods of practice."
A radiant smile adorned Jane's face, reminiscent of a child who had just received a coveted treat after passing an exam.
Eleanor fought the urge to grimace. The excessive loyalty they all had to Aro never failed to perplex her.
"I am truly delighted," the leader expressed with a contented sigh. "And Heidi will be joining us shortly! What better way to celebrate?"
She gazed at Aro, her brow furrowed, trying to understand what he meant.
Sensing her confusion, Aro offered a reassuring smile. "Fear not, my dear. We shall ensure Thomas receives his share."
"His share of what?"
The vampires surrounding them turned their attention towards her, their gazes laced with a hint of disbelief. Eleanor felt a pang of self-consciousness under their scrutiny. From the corner of her eye, she caught Jane smirking.
But it was then that she noticed the crowded presence of unfamiliar vampires in the room. Elegantly adorned women with deep crimson eyes, faces she had never encountered before.
Heidi will be here any minute. Heidi, who possessed the persuasive charm to entice anyone to follow her in exchange for the opportunity to bask in her unparalleled beauty.
Heidi, whom she hadn't seen all that week at the castle.
The realization hit her like a sudden drenching of icy water.
Aro's response came with a touch of amusement in his tone. "Humans, my dear. What else?" His words carried a hint of condescension, as if he found her innocence entertaining. It was the kind of naivety Demetri often scoffed at.
Eleanor swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. She shouldn't have been surprised. They were vampires, after all. Hunting was an inherent part of their nature. Yet, as the sound of approaching footsteps and voices grew louder in the distance, her heart skipped a beat.
Maintaining her composure, she managed to speak up. "I suppose I should take my leave, then."
"Don't you wish to stay and acquaint yourself with our way of life?"
Her lips quivered as the voices drew nearer, almost drowning out her response. "Thank you, Aro. But I believe I should rest for now."
He sighed. "As you wish."
But she was not quick enough to leave the room, crossing at the door with the long crowd of people. Tourists, or some of them, by the way their cameras photographed everything in their path and they commented among themselves in different languages.
Elderly. Adults. Children.
Eleanor stood frozen, her stomach churning as she observed the little ones clutching tightly onto their parents' arms as they made their way through the doors.
"Eleanor, won't you join us?" Heidi's unmistakably melodious voice echoed in her ears. She was adorned in a splendid red dress that accentuated her every curve. The perfect bait.
Beside her stood Demetri, holding her hand. It struck her as ironic the way that the two of them resembled a couple prepared for a romantic dinner.
She could only watch in disbelief. Her eyes locking with Demetri's, who seemed to read her thoughts effortlessly. And for a brief moment, she thought she saw a hint of empathy in them. However, just as quickly as it had appeared, the glimmer vanished, replaced by the cold mask of indifference she had grown accustomed to.
But then, the screams shattered the air. Screams that didn't even compare to hers that morning after experiencing Jane's pain. Real screams, for the humans were not being subjected to an illusion, they were actually being killed.
She felt overwhelmed. Too overwhelmed. The horrific scene unfolding in front of her without being able to do anything at all. She turned away, her movements faltering as she tried to make her way through the halls, desperate to escape the nightmarish sounds that continued to reverberate, haunting her every step.
She couldn't make it to her room. Her strength wavered, and she collapsed, her knees hitting with the cold, unforgiving ground. Her arms wrapped tightly around her chest, trying to hold herself together, but the floodgates of her emotions burst open. Tears streamed down her face relentlessly, her trembling body gasping for air amid her uncontrollable sobs.
In the dimly lit hallway, where shadows danced eerily on the walls, a wearied sigh reached Eleanor's ears. The air felt heavy with tension as a cold hand extended toward her, gripping her chin tightly. The icy touch sent a chill coursing through her veins, causing her skin to tingle in response.
With an unyielding grip, Demetri compelled her to lift her head, his piercing red gaze locking onto her tear-drenched emerald eyes. "You're making a spectacle of yourself," he said, his voice oddly gentle despite the severity etched upon his countenance.
Eleanor couldn't muster the strength to break free from his hold, her eyes closing in a desperate plea for the vampire to disappear, for he was the vivid reminder of everything she despised.
"Leave me alone," she whispered through her cracked voice.
Another sigh escaped Demetri's lips. His icy thumb, cool against her flushed cheek, traced a soft path along the contours of her face. His touch mingled with the shimmering trails of her tears, creating a bittersweet amalgamation of warmth and chill, solace and torment.
Eleanor felt her heartbeat quicken, its rhythmic thumping echoing off the walls. And as she stared into Demetri's eyes, she realized she wasn't the only one feeling it. And she hated it. Hated the way it made her feel exposed, vulnerable.
"I've told you, Eleanor, this is who we are," he mused calmly. "If you wish to survive in this world, you must come to understand it."
From her early years, survival had been ingrained in her instincts, an inherent response to a world that felt unwelcoming to someone like her.
She had once believed that her unique gift was a manifestation of that survival instinct, a result of her determination to thrive against all odds.
However, as she listened to the last screams dissipated into the air, she knew that was something she could never come to understand.
⸻
Hi! How are you? I hope you're well!
I'd like to know your thoughts on this chapter! Personally, I found it a bit tough to express Eleanor's feelings, especially in the last part. As readers, we're used to the idea of the Volturi feeding on humans because, well, it's fiction. But for Eleanor, experiencing it firsthand makes it hard to accept this reality. And it's even more challenging for her because she already struggles with feeling like a monster due to what happened to her mother.
I DON'T KNOW if I made myself clear, I hope you understood what I meant (?
But in short, yeah, it's not that easy for her.
And as I wrote Demetri represents everything she despises about that world, so it's also not easy to deal with him. But they will come to something... (I hope)
See you in the next chapter!