When the Scoobies stepped through the doors to the auditorium, they'd already heard Cordelia's dreadful off-key singing outside the building. They only winced harder as they entered properly, her warbling making everyone else cringe with fingers in their ears.

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all," she sang, "I decided long ago… never to walk in anyone's shadow. If I fail, if I succeed, at least…"

"Thank you, Cordelia," Giles' voice called out from the seats. "Tha-that's going to be lovely."

Cordelia pouted her disappointment. "But I didn't do the part with the sparklers!"

"Um, w-we'll, um… save that for the dress rehearsal." He looked through his clipboard. "Uh, Lisa! Please!"

Like a petulant five-year-old, Cordelia put the microphone back on its stand and left the stage as Lisa set up with her tuba.

As the solo began, the Scooby quartet came down the center aisle to sit with him. Buffy gasped playfully. "If it isn't The Great Producer!"

"Had to see this to believe it," grinned Xander. They'd been looking forward to teasing the Watcher for getting roped into helping with the talent show.

Naturally, Giles looked less than thrilled at their presence. "Oh. You four."

Jesse playfully nudged his shoulder. "Aw, c'mon, G-Man – how'd you land this plum assignment?"

"Our new Fuhrer, Mr. Snyder."

"Ooooh, had to interact with the Hairless Wonder? Sorry to hear that."

Willow grinned. "I think they call 'em 'principals' now."

The Scoobies had been acquainted with the new principal. Since the untimely devouring of Principal Flutie, the new guy proved to be every bit the humorless twit any high school student would fear.

"He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students," Giles explained. "I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to…" He paused to choose his words carefully. "… minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it."

Buffy grinned. "Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny."

Giles looked unamused. "If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped."

Buffy pretended to think about it before shaking her head. "Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role… and watch!"

"And mock!" added Xander.

"And laugh!" agreed Willow.

"And judge!" finished Jesse.

They all laughed at the poor Watcher. "O-kay," Buffy chuckled. "I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls a show."

The four of them got up and started back up the aisle – only to come face-to-face with the ferrety-looking man himself, Principal Snyder.

"So," he said in his nasally sinister little voice. "We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of."

Buffy instinctively shook her head. "No! No, we don't. W-unless you do."

Snyder gave her a look of utter contempt. "And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All four of you left campus yesterday."

"Yeah, but we were fighting a demon…"

"Fighting?"

Jesse held up a hand. "We were fighting peer pressure! And peer pressure is like a demon!"

"Right!" said Xander, nodding fervently. "We usually avoid fighting!"

Snyder, however, remained unmoved, his bland emotionless face staring at them. "Real anti-social types," he concluded. "You need to integrate into this school, people. I think I just found four eager new participants for the talent show."

The four teens looked at him in utter dismay, which only gave him a small smirk.

"I've been watching the four of you. Always getting into one scrape or another."

Buffy decided to give pathetic begging a try. "Well, we're really, really sorry, but about the talent show, pleeease, you can't make us…"

"My predecessor," Snyder interrupted, "Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time." He started past them down toward the stage.

Xander tried his own tact. "Can I just mention that detention is a time-honored form of punishment?" he asked hopefully, a suggestion that even got Buffy nodding vigorously.

But Snyder just savaged him with another trollish smirk. "I know the four of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. And judge. At."

That, evidently, proved the last straw for Jesse. He pointed at his principal's nose and said, "We could do a dramatic scene about that long hair coming out of your nose."

Snyder's eyes widened and his hand flew to his nostrils in shock before he scurried away, no doubt to find a mens' room.

"Nice parting shot," Xander commended his best friend, patting him on the shoulder. "Too bad we still have to be onstage with all these dorks."

They slumped back to join Giles just as the tuba solo finally petered out. The Watcher bit back an amused grin, offering no sympathy. They watched as the next act stepped out – Morgan and his dummy.

"Ewww, dummy!" complained Buffy.

"I resemble that remark," quipped Jesse.

Willow frowned. "I think dummies are cute. You don't?"

Buffy shook her head. "Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little."

"What happened?"

"I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig." She shrugged. "There really wasn't a story there."

"Ah, but he could do worse," Jesse said, casually putting an arm around the back of Buffy's chair. "He could be like Señor Wences and make a whole career out of talking to his hand." He made a fist with his outstretched hand and made a mouth with his thumb and forefinger. "T'ank you veddy much!"

Buffy swatted him away but laughed all the same as Morgan got himself set up on stage and spoke into the microphone. "Hi. I'm Morgan." The dummy's head moved. "And I'm Sid!"

Boy, he sucked.

"Hey Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes?" Morgan made a strained happy face. "Would I!" He switched back to 'Sid'. "As a matter of fact, it is! It's also a wood nose, and a wood mouth!"

Buffy glanced at the others. The fake voice only sounded worse because of the horrible ventriloquism. She saw Giles take off his glasses – a sure sign he didn't even want to dignify Morgan with a look.

Then, to their surprise, Sid's tone changed on the spot. "Alright, time out. Let's stop this before someone gets hurt." He seemed to give Morgan a look. "Kid, you are the worst. I can even see your lips move."

Buffy started to giggle, especially when Giles put his glasses back on – a sign he'd become intrigued.

Morgan looked flustered. "C'mon, Sid. You're spoiling my act. I worked on these jokes for weeks."

"You call those jokes?" Sid asked incredulously. "My jockey shorts are made out of better material. And they're edible!"

The surrounding students began to laugh, and even Buffy's crew giggled at the antics.

"There, you see?" Giles smiled. "I'm sure you lot can come up with something… equally exciting."

Buffy thought the puppet smiled, but she shook the thought out of her head. Probably just a desire for something to get her out of this talent show.

The tryouts went in their usual bumbling way for most students. Magic tricks, dancing, juggling, and so many more odd things. Buffy, Willow, Xander and Jesse struggled to do their dramatic scene, unable to stop their discomfort at being onstage.

Xander dropped his dramatic pose with a huff. "I can't do this!"

Buffy pouted miserably. "Xander, come on."

"I, I can't! I have my pride! Okay, I don't have a lot of pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this!" He sat at the side of the stage and sulked, the others following.

"A dramatic scene is the easiest way to get through the talent show," said Willow helpfully, "because it doesn't require actual talent."

"But we have talent. We can do stuff. Buffy, uh…" Xander trailed off as he remembered Buffy's primary talent.

"What am I gonna do?" she asked. "Slay vampires on stage?"

"While juggling flaming hoops?" Jesse suggested, sitting with them. "Ed McMahon would eat it up."

Xander changed tactics. "Willow, you can do stuff. Uh, the piano…"

Buffy looked at Willow in surprise. "You play?"

Willow looked embarrassed. "A little."

"Well, that's cool. You can accompany us and we can attempt to sing."

The other girl's face blanched. "Oh, i-in front of other people? Then, no, I don't play…"

Jesse shook his head. "I spent all that time obsessing over Cordelia," he sighed. "Little did I know I would need to study The Muppet Show."

They heard a wolf-whistle from nearby, and they saw Morgan sitting with Sid on his knee, and he looked very embarrassed while the dummy seemed to genuinely leer at them.

"Mm, mm, mm. Look at the goodies!" he called out.

Willow got up and approached, always interested in being friendly no matter the situation. "Morgan, you're really getting good! Where did you come up with that voice?"

Morgan shifted. "It's kind of an imitation of my dad."

"Sounds real!"

Sid's eyelids lowered in a scoffing manner. "It is real. I'm the one with the talent here. The kid's dead weight." He leaned closer to Willow. "How about you and I do a little rehearsin' on our own, honey?"

Willow's eyes widened, and Xander gave an annoyed shout from where he sat.

Morgan still looked embarrassed while Sid continued, "You know what they say: once you go wood, nothin's as good!"

"Hey, Sid," said Jesse, seemingly getting the puppet's attention. "There's a woodchipper behind the school, just FYI. We'll go Fargo on your wooden butt, capisce?"

Sid's eyes widened, and he and Morgan seemed to exchange a worried glance. Sid resumed his half-lidded eyes to look nonchalant and replied, "Comprendo."

Satisfied, the quartet went back to their work, leaving Morgan to sheepishly exit stage left. They glanced out into the empty seats and saw Giles enter with Principal Snyder at his side, apparently keeping the librarian hostage in some sort of humorless rant. Determined to ignore him, they focused on their act.

And then, they heard a scream from the girls' locker room.

The four of them waited outside the locker room, watching silently as the paramedics entered under the yellow police tape, and then exited a few minutes later with the body wrapped up. They exchanged weary glances. Has Sunnydale always been like this?

Giles exited the locker room shortly after and approached them, his expression grave. "It was Emily."

Willow's mouth fell open. "Dancer Emily?"

"Oh man," said Xander, clearly stunned. "I hate this school."

Giles nodded in agreement. "Uh, it must have happened just after, uh, dress rehearsals. There was a cross-country meet at Melville. She never showed up for it."

"Vampire?" asked Buffy.

"I think not."

Buffy didn't like how uncomfortable he looked. "Giles, share! What happened?"

Giles let out a shaky breath. "Her heart was removed."

Jesse looked at him incredulously. "What, like, chest opened, ribs spread and organ MIA?"

"Regrettably, yes." He let out another breath. "There are various demons which feed off human hearts, but…"

They looked back and saw a bloodied knife being put into an evidence bag.

Buffy seemed to follow the disturbing logic. "But demons have claws. And teeth."

"They got no use for a big old knife," nodded Xander.

"Which more than likely makes our murderer…"

"Human," finished Buffy.

Jesse leaned against the wall, trying to keep his breathing normal. "Great. Just great. Love these little reminders that the world is terrifying with or without demons."

Willow rubbed his shoulder reassuringly while trying to stay focused. "So Emily was killed by a regular human person."

Giles nodded sadly. "The evidence certainly points that way."

Buffy, however, didn't want to believe it. "No, wait. I'm not buying, you guys. Remember the Hellmouth? Mystical activity is totally rife here. This to me says demon."

Giles looked at her doubtfully. "I'd like to think you're right. A demon is a creature of evil, pure and very simple. A person driven to kill is, is, um, it's more complex."

"The creep factor is also heightened," agreed Willow. "It could be anyone. It could be me!" Everyone stared at her, and even Jesse took a step away from her. "It's not, though," she clarified.

Giles straightened his glasses in an attempt to keep things orderly. "Demon or no, we have some investigating to do. I suggest we start with your… your talent show compatriots. One of them may have been the last to see her alive."

And so, the five of them spent the day interviewing the various talent show performers. Jesse insisted on not talking to Cordelia, still trying to give her space, and also because her ego would never accept that someone got over her, whether she liked them or not. Xander got that unfortunate task while Jesse interviewed a juggler.

After coming up empty, he crossed paths with Buffy on the way to the auditorium, and they entered together.

"Any luck?" she asked.

"Nothing in particular," he replied. "Ernie kept dropping his balls. One bounced off my head." He grimaced. "And he's still got more talent than me."

Buffy grinned. "Aw, c'mon, Jess. You've got a lot of talent."

"Such as what?"

"Well…," she fumbled for a moment before she (mercifully) heard a voice from offstage.

"Right now, you and me gotta be on the lookout. Figure out who's gonna be next." They both looked, and they saw Morgan apparently doing his routine with Sid.

Morgan had a very nervous expression on his face. "How are we supposed to…?" he trailed off when he spotted Buffy and Jesse coming towards him. "Oh, hi."

"Hello, Morgan," said Buffy.

"Hello, Sid," said Jesse, just to feel included.

"I was just working on throwing my voice," Morgan said meekly, walking upstage.

Buffy and Jesse glanced at each other, both aware of how shifty he looked. "Uh, Morgan," Buffy started, "did you notice anything weird going on around here yesterday?"

"Weird? What d'you mean?" Morgan asked as he went down the steps from the stage, Sid in his arms.

"With Emily. Did she say anything to you, was she arguing with anyone?"

Morgan shook his head as he retrieved Sid's case. "No. She was dancing," he said as he opened it. "Sid and I were talking."

"Talking?"

"Rehearsing," Morgan corrected himself quickly.

"So, you didn't notice anything weird at…"

Morgan suddenly held his hand to his forehead in pain and sat down, letting out a moan.

"Morgan, are you okay?" asked Jesse.

Sid suddenly sat up a little straighter. "Look, kid! He answered your question. Now leave him alone!"

Jesse jumped back in alarm, looking between the dummy and his human. Morgan's pain had subsided, and he looked up at them nervously.

Buffy cleared her throat. "Okay, Morgan, how 'bout talking to me yourself now?"

"He said all he's gonna say," Sid replied harshly.

Jesse looked between the two again, clearly suspicious. "Neat, Morgan. Now, can Sid threaten us while you drink a glass of water?"

"Who's threatening?" Sid replied, leaning back now. "Nobody's got a problem here, right, kid?"

Morgan looked nervously between Buffy, Jesse and Sid. He got up. "It's okay, Sid. We're done," he said, putting Sid in his case.

Buffy tried to nudge Jesse back a bit. "I'm sorry. Look, we didn't mean to make you mad."

"No! I'm…" He glanced at the case before lowering his voice. "It's him! He's…" He closed the case. "We have to go." He grabbed the case and left quickly.

Buffy stared after them. "Cute couple."

Jesse, however, looked uncertain. "Something's up," he murmured. "I tried watching Morgan every time Sid talked."

"So?"

"So whenever Sid talked, Morgan's Adam's Apple didn't move. I watched a lot of Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop growing up. You can always see something – no matter how good the ventriloquist is."

Buffy looked at him for a long moment. "I've still got The Song That Never Ends stuck in my head."

Jesse patted her on the shoulder. "We all do, Buffinator. We all do."

They reconvened with the others in the library later that day, Xander griping about having to spend any amount of time with Cordelia.

"I think I had a bit more luck," said Willow brightly as they came into Giles' office. "Everyone I talked to seemed to point their fingers at the same person."

"Morgan?" asked Buffy.

"Morgan."

"We have a winner!" said Xander.

Giles nodded. "I fear I was led to the same conclusion."

"Something's up with him," said Jesse. "More specifically, something's up with his dummy. It's like that weird Anthony Hopkins picture."

Buffy nodded thoughtfully. "What about the whole 'it's a demon' theory?" she asked Giles.

"I'm looking into that," he replied, "but, my investigation is somewhat… hampered by our life in the theater."

Buffy looked at him incredulously. "Uh, priority check, Giles?" she said, miming weighting the two subjects with her hands. "Talent show, murder."

Xander nodded emphatically. "Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!"

"Not without severe nausea, anyway," agreed Jesse.

Giles shrugged helplessly. "Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime… the show must go on."

Buffy pouted. "This is so unfair."

Giles ordered Buffy to keep an eye on Morgan and to maybe go through his locker. She complied, breaking the lock to get in, and although she had to contend with a suspicious Snyder, she managed to get the dummy case out – only to open it and find no dummy. With nothing else to do, she simply went home and asked her mom not to come to the talent show, both for her own safety and just to avoid the embarrassment in case all she had to do was perform.

During the night, however, she freaked out when she thought she saw Sid watching her.

The next afternoon, she returned to the auditorium and found Marc floundering with his magic act as his assistant failed to disappear. Waiting a moment for Giles to finish enduring Cordelia's presence, she came down the aisle to tell him what happened.

Giles looked somewhat relieved to see her. "Hello. You look a bit worse for, uh…" He trailed off awkwardly as he fully registered her weary appearance.

Buffy found Willow, Jesse and Xander in the seats and sat down with them.

"What exactly are you the worse for?" Giles asked as he joined her.

"Where's Morgan?" Buffy asked.

Giles thought for a moment as he realized. "Uh, I, I… haven't seen him."

Xander put an urgent hand on her shoulder. "Did he do something to you?"

"No, it was his…"

"Sid?" asked Jesse, leaning forward to look at her.

Buffy nodded, and now everyone looked at her incredulously. She shrugged in acceptance that this sounded insane. "Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this… I think Sid was in my room last night."

"With Morgan?" Willow asked hopefully.

"No. He was alone. And alive."

Xander looked at her disbelievingly. "Did you see him?"

Buffy cast her mind back to the previous night and squinted at the memory. "Well, I saw something. It ran across my floor, under my bed and then it attacked me."

"Attacked you?" Giles looked confused. "How?"

"It was like it pounced on my face."

"Like a cat," suggested Xander.

"Yeah, exactly! But when I turned the lights on it was already gone. I think it went out my window."

"Like a cat," Xander repeated.

"Yeah!" replied Buffy, before realizing he thought she actually meant a cat. "No! It was Sid, the dummy."

Giles still looked skeptical. "Or possibly the nightmare of somebody who had… dummies on her mind."

Willow looked uncomfortable, but she still sided with the others. "You did say they creeped you out."

Buffy looked at them indignantly. "Excuse me? Can I have a little support here, please?"

Jesse raised his hand. "I'm with Buffy. Y'ever really watch Morgan and Sid? If that is Morgan doing the voice, it's almost like it's against his will. Something's up with that dummy."

Willow shrugged. "Well, on the side of the 'Morgan's just crazy' theory there is," she gestured at Morgan passing by with Sid, "well, Morgan."

As Morgan opened Sid's case, Buffy got an idea. "I'd like to see Morgan without his better half for a few minutes. Bet he could tell me something."

Giles held up a book, probably hoping to steer her away from the idea. "Oh, if it's any consolation, I… I may have found a possible demon culprit. There's a reference in here to a brotherhood of seven demons who take, uh, the form of young humans. Every seven years these demons need human organs, a brain and a heart, to maintain their humanity. Otherwise, they revert back to their original form, which is slightly less appealing."

He passed the book around for them all to see. Xander eyed a sketch of one of the demons.

"So Morgan could still be the guy, only demon Morgan instead of crazy Morgan," suggested Willow.

Giles nodded. "It's said that these demons are preternaturally strong, and… Morgan is…," he paused to find the words as he eyed the young man practicing with his dummy onstage. "Well, he seems to be getting weaker every day."

Buffy watched as Morgan put his hand on his head. He really did seem to be in some kind of pain. She wondered if she could reach out to him again without arousing suspicion, but honestly, she didn't want to go near that dummy again.

History class, unfortunately, included an encounter with Sid. As their teacher, Mrs. Jackson talked at long boring length about President Monroe, Buffy couldn't stop glancing across at the dummy. Sid turned his head back to look at her and lowered his brows. Creeped out, Buffy looked down at her desk and pretended to focus on her work. A moment later, she looked again and saw those wooden eyes staring back at him.

Even worse, Cordelia noticed and simply had to make a comment. "Looks like someone digs you. That's adorable. You and the dummy could tour in the freak show!"

Buffy didn't bother with a reply. This dummy just wigged her out way too much. She tried not to watch, but she saw Sid's head turn and whisper in Morgan's ear. Mrs. Jackson tried asking him a question about Spanish policy or some irrelevant school nonsense, but he didn't seem to notice until she got in his face.

"Morgan has other things on his mind," Sid snapped, making some students laugh.

Mrs. Jackson responded by taking the dummy away from Morgan and putting him in a cupboard. Just as she locked the door and went to resume the lesson, they heard that same voice from behind the doors.

"I'm still watching you!"

While Mrs. Jackson snapped at Morgan, Buffy glanced at Xander and Jesse, who also looked at Morgan suspiciously. He looked awkwardly between them before looking back at the teacher.

"Dude, you are insane," Jesse sighed, watching as Xander danced Sid on the library table.

"Aw, c'mon, Jess, watch!" Xander started operating the mouth while speaking out of the corner of his own. "Someday, we'll find it – the Rainbow Connection!"

"Blasphemer."

At that moment, the door to the library opened, and Buffy, Willow and Giles entered – the latter two with their arms full of costumes. They froze when they saw Xander holding Sid. "Where did you get that?"

Xander smiled sheepishly. "Oh, I, uh, took it out of Mrs. Jackson's cupboard. I thought you said you wanted to be able to speak to Morgan alone, and uh… well, Morgan's alone, and, uh… Sid's with me."

"This all made just as much sense three minutes ago," Jesse added, looking very unimpressed.

Buffy stared at Sid uncomfortably as Xander clumsily manipulated him. "Hi, Buffy! Hi, Willow! Would you like to hear some off-color jokes?"

She only squirmed at the performance. "I really don't think you should be doing that."

Xander laughed. "What? C'mon…," he said, resuming the impression. "I'm not real!"

This only wigged Buffy out even more. "Xander, quit it!" she demanded, turning and walking a few steps away.

Xander only seemed even more perplexed as he started pounding Sid's head into the table. "He's… not… real! I think our demonstration proves that, uh, Sid…" He paused to knock on Sid's head several times. " … is wood. Now, why don't you go and find Morgan and prove he's… whatever he is?"

"I imagine he's looking for his puppet," said Giles.

"I'll go find Morgan," said Buffy, immediately making for the door, but she stopped to give Xander a stern look. "You watch the dummy."

Xander responded by waving Sid's arm and doing the gruff voice. "Bye-bye, now. I'm completely inanimate." She gave him yet another unimpressed look before heading out the door. "Redrum! Redruuum!"

Jesse reached across and placed a hand on top of Sid's head, gently forcing him back onto the table. "Well, that cheered her up."

Willow looked awkwardly at the puppet. "What do we do with him?"

Xander shrugged. "Eh, we'll keep him company."

Deciding that would have to do for now, Giles took Willow to do some hunting in the demon section of the card catalog. As they disappeared into the stacks, Jesse and Xander looked at Sid. Grinning a little, Xander put him in the chair at the end of the table, his blank puppet face staring back at them.

Jesse fidgeted. "We're seriously just going to sit here with him watching us?"

"Not watching us, Jess. Just a puppet." They sat there, feeling his painted eyes on them. After ten seconds of this, Xander finally conceded his growing discomfort and turned Sid's head away, patting him on the floppy shoulder. "That looks more comfortable."

Jesse still looked wigged out but tried to focus on his homework. He gave his thoughts on World History and tried to think of something to talk about. "You realize Snyder is going to come along at some point and make sure we're practicing our dramatic scene for the talent show at some point, right?"

"Probably," sighed Xander. "Still, at least all we have to do is memorize a script."

"The only thing I've been great at memorizing is theme songs. My folks say they thought I was going to be a scholar because, even as a little kid, I always ran into the living room whenever I heard the Jeopardy theme song. Little did they know, the only knowledge I was absorbing was the catchy xylophone music."

Xander chuckled. "Maybe that's your ticket. Sing a medley of theme songs."

"Eh, you know what copyright laws are like. Half of them are owned by Disney. They once sued an orphanage for having a mural that included Mickey Mouse. What chance have I got?"

"Why are you so twisted about this? Yeah, it sucks, but it's not like we're going to be on Letterman."

"Pfft! Chevy Chase wouldn't have touched us with a ten foot pole." He rubbed his forehead. "I don't know, man. I just… I spent so much time hung up on Cordelia, planning, dreaming, scheming, trying to get her to notice me… I feel like I missed out, y'know? Could've been learning more about myself. Yet another instance where my teenage hormones screwed me over."

"You and me and every other teenage boy, man."

Jesse glanced over at Sid, still with his head to one side. "I'll say this much for Morgan – creepy though he is, at least he took the time to develop a talent. I'd like to know what I'm good at. Something unique to me."

Xander tapped his pencil against his nose thoughtfully. "You were always great at making paper snowflakes."

Jesse chuckled. "That's it? No one can screw up a paper snowflake."

"I screwed it up. Unfolded the damn thing and it always looked like it had been run over by a reindeer."

Both boys laughed at the memory, but then, their eyes fell on the end of the table, and to their astonishment, Sid had disappeared. Yelping, they both jumped onto the table as if the puppet were a mouse about to climb up their pant leg.

Giles and Willow came running out of the stacks. "What is it?" asked Giles.

"He's gone!" Xander cried, pointing "Sid's gone!"

"I knew it! I knew it!" Jesse wailed, his eyes scanning the room frantically while Giles and Willow began to freak as well. They didn't see the puppet anywhere.

Buffy eventually found Sid herself – just after he dropped a chandelier on her. It happened just after she found Morgan with his head ripped open and his brain scooped out. After a brief scuffle, the plot thickened – Sid tried to kill Buffy because he thought she was the demon.

Returning him to the library, they all sat around Sid as he recounted the tale.

"This is what I do," the wooden puppet explained. "I hunt demons. Yeah, you wouldn't know it to look at me. Let's just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know I'm not me anymore. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt."

Willow found that incredibly tragic. "And ever since then you've been a living dummy?"

"These two were right all along," said Sid, nodding at Buffy and Jesse. "I shoulda picked one of you to team up with. But I didn't because…"

Buffy nodded awkwardly. "Because you thought I was the demon."

"Who can blame me for thinking? Look at you! You're strong, athletic, limber…" His eyelids drooped and his head tilted to one side. "Nubile…"

"Woodchipper," Jesse reminded him, never losing his wondrous expression.

Sid shook his head, rousing himself back to reality. "I'm back! In any case, now that this demon's got the heart and brain, he gets to keep the human form he's in for another seven years."

Hearing the whistling tea kettle on the stove, Giles went to tend to it. "I must say, it's a welcome change to have someone else explain all these things."

"There were seven of these guys," Sid continued. "I've killed six. If I can get the last one, the curse will be lifted and I'll be free. I'm sure it's someone in that stupid talent show."

"Yeah, but now that demon has what he wants," said Buffy. "He'll be moving on."

"So, once we know who's missing from the show…"

"We'll know who our demon is!"

Giles very nearly dropped the cup of tea in his hand as he remembered something very important. "The show!"

Everyone turned to look at him, confused. "What?" asked Buffy.

"It's gonna start! I'm supposed to be there!" the Watcher exclaimed, running around looking for papers he needed with him.

Realizing they themselves needed to get going, Buffy ordered Willow to start pulling everyone's addresses in the talent show. "If they're not there, maybe we can catch them at home."

Sid's head swiveled to face Giles. "And you, get 'em all on stage, form the power circle. Then we can see who's a no-show."

Giles came up short. "Um, uh, the what?"

Sid's eyelids lowered in annoyance. "The power circle. You get everyone together, you get 'em, you know, revved up."

Clearly still not getting it, Giles mumbled an agreement and fled the room.

Sid looked at the others. "How'd he ever get that gig?"

Fifteen minutes to curtain, Buffy sat with Sid on the catwalk, waiting to see who hadn't turned up. Giles scurried around like a British chicken without a head, trying to both keep things in order and also be on the lookout for any sign of a demon.

"So, what's your deal, kid?" asked Sid. "I don't figure you for a demon hunter."

Buffy didn't take her eyes off the milling students below. "I'm a Vampire Slayer."

The puppet actually looked surprised. "You?! You're the Slayer?" Buffy nodded, not sure whether to be insulted or not. "Damn! I knew a Slayer in the thirties. Korean chick. Very hot. We're talking muscle tone. Man, we had some times…" He trailed off in remembrance before noticing the disturbed look on Buffy's face. "Hey, that was pre-dummy, alright? Now, I was a guy!"

Buffy rolled her eyes. Then, a thought started to come to her. "So, you kill the demon and the curse is lifted, right?"

"That's the drill."

"You don't actually turn into a prince, do you? I-I mean, your body…"

"Is dust and bones. When I say 'free'…"

"You mean 'dead'," Buffy finished sadly.

"Don't get sniffly on me, sis," Sid replied calmly. "I've lived a lot longer than most demon hunters. Or Slayers, for that matter."

Buffy looked down despondently at the reminder that, as the Slayer, her life would probably be depressingly short.

Sensing the mood's downturn, Sid put his hand on her knee. "Of course, if you want to snuggle up and comfort me…"

Buffy made a face as she plucked his hand off of her knee. "So, that horny dummy thing really isn't an act, is it?"

"Nope!"

"Yuck!"

Hearing Giles call everyone around, Sid and Buffy looked down onto the stage as everyone formed the Power Circle. After a few awkward moments of holding hands with each other, they realized something very unfortunate – nobody was missing. Every performer had shown up. Uncomfortable, Giles let the confused students go, and while they all scrambled away, Buffy climbed down from the catwalk to confer with him.

Giles looked incredibly confused. "No one's missing."

"So the demon isn't in the show," replied Buffy, already looking around.

"It seems not. Uh, tell the others. Look, it's nearly curtain time. I must get the show rolling."

As her Watcher got on with his asinine duties, she looked for Sid up on the catwalk, but to her confusion, he'd disappeared. Quickly, she slipped away from the other students and started searching backstage. She tried calling for him as quietly as possible, but she couldn't see him anywhere. As she stopped by a workbench, though, something dripped onto her arm from above. She shook it off instinctively and looked up. It seemed to be coming from a shelf. Reaching up, she barely had time to react before a human brain fell down and into her hands. She let out a startled yelp and dropped it, watching it jiggle with revulsion when it hit the floor.

Buffy walked back and forth in the library, staring at her hands. She'd already washed them five times in the last thirty minutes, but they still felt utterly disgusting.

While Willow worked at a PC, Xander tried to wrap his head around everything she'd relayed to the group. "So, the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter. And we're, like, 'fine, la la la la'. He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anybody else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd?"

"Maybe," said Jesse, "if I had half a clue who that is."

Buffy shook her head, glad the conversation took her away from her gross ordeal. "Sid's on the level, I'm sure of it. But why would the demon have rejected the brain? I-I mean, I thought Morgan was the smartest kid in school."

"He was," Willow nodded, pointing at the computer screen. "Look at his grades: all A's. He was even taking college classes." Then, she spotted something interesting in the data. "Wait a second."

Jesse leaned over to take a look. "What?"

"All these sick days."

Xander joined them. "He was off for, like, half the year!"

Buffy twisted her lips in thought. "Check the school nurse's file."

Willow typed in the request, and a moment later, her eyes widened. "Look at this! 'In case of emergency, contact Dr. Dale Leggett, California Institute of Neurosurgery, Cancer Ward.'"

It finally began to twig for all of them. Morgan had brain cancer, hence why he had so many headaches. Therefore, his brain wouldn't be suitable for the demon.

"This means that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain," Buffy realized.

Xander smiled awkwardly. "In other words, I'm safe!"

Jesse, however, did not smile. "And it's gonna be looking for the smartest person around."

The three of them looked at Willow. She looked back and forth between them. "What?"

"Will," Buffy said slowly, trying not to freak her out, "you're kinda just what the demon's looking for."

Willow, bless her heart, didn't follow. "What could a demon possibly want from me?"

"What's the square root of eight hundred forty-one?" asked Xander.

"Twenty-nine," Willow replied automatically. Her eyes widened. "Oh, yeah."

Buffy patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, Willow. As long as you're with us there's absolutely no way that demon is gonna get what he wants."

Jesse scratched the back of his neck anxiously. "We should tell Giles, shouldn't we? If the demon's here after all, he'll need to keep a lookout for it."

Buffy nodded. "Good thinking. Jess – you get to the auditorium and warn him. We'll cover Willow."

Throwing her a quick salute, Jesse turned and fled the library, leaving Buffy and Xander on guard duty.

Jesse came skidding into the auditorium, seeing it filling up with people as they started getting the acts underway. Finding a somewhat clear path down one of the aisles, he ducked and skidded around the milling members of the audience, trying to spot Giles. He saw him talking to Marc the magician just behind the curtain, leading him somewhere. Relieved to see the Watcher, Jesse ducked and weaved to the backstage area.

However, just as he skidded around a corner, he very nearly came face-to-face with Principal Snyder, who skulked around the back, watching the frenzied students go through their acts. Seeing the weaselly-looking man just about to turn in his direction, Jesse panicked and dove back the way he came just in time to avoid his gaze.

Looking around for another way to Giles, Jesse spotted a ladder that would take him above the stage. Maybe he could signal to the older man from there. As quietly as he could, he scurried up the rungs, relieved that his above-average height allowed him to climb them three at a time. He got to the top in no time and started doing an army crawl across the catwalk, trying to see Giles. He saw him and Marc overlooking a large guillotine. What the hell did Marc have planned for his act?

"Enjoying the view, kid?" a gruff voice asked him.

Jesse very nearly jumped out of his skin. He rolled over on the catwalk and came face-to-wooden-face with Sid, who somehow looked sardonic despite his features being mostly paint. "Where've you been?" Jesse hissed. "Buffy said you disappeared."

"Still keeping an eye out for the demon. I know it's down there somewhere."

"Yeah, we found Morgan's brain." Jesse winced at the memory. "Sorry about him, by the way. I don't know how close you guys were, but…"

Sid stared straight ahead. "He was a good kid," he said at last.

Both of them peered down at the next act onstage. Juggling. Badly. Might be a while.

Sid tutted. "Kids these days," he muttered.

"Not their fault," Jesse sighed. "Most of us got forced into this by Snyder."

"That ferrety-looking guy skirting around?"

Jesse smirked. "Yeah, that's the hairless wonder." He sighed heavily. "If you haven't got talent, you shouldn't be forced to fake it to make the school look good."

Sid turned to look at him quizzically. "Yeah, I overheard your bellyaching to your friend in the library. You seriously don't think you've got talent?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Then let's make you aware, kid. You got zingers."

Jesse looked at the puppet demon hunter blankly. "Say again?"

"You got the potential for an act right there, kid. The jokes. The routines. That thing about memorizing theme songs? That could be an act right there."

"Memorizing theme songs is my talent?"

"No, making jokes is your talent. Granted, they could do with some rewrites, but you got something there. Whether it's onstage or just for your friends, you definitely got talent."

Jesse mulled that over in his head. Sure, he liked making his friends laugh. Sure, he had stories that he liked to have ready when the opportunity arose. He'd just never thought about actually putting them to use. He heard the audience clapping halfheartedly as the juggling act staggered off stage with seven rubber balls, chasing after an eighth one, and wondered how he'd do out there before their judging eyes.

Then, Sid tapped him on the shoulder. "Call me suspicious, but that guy's looking a little too excited about his magic act."

Jesse looked back down at Giles and Marc by the guillotine and saw they had just run a test with a honeydew melon.

"Pretty cool, huh?" they heard Marc say with a grin.

Giles looked vaguely ill as he hefted the melon half in his hand. "Are you sure there's no one else who could help you out?"

"My assistant got sick. You won't have to say anything," Marc assured him. "I'll show you. Lie down."

Giles inspected the guillotine. "Uh, how exactly does it work?" he asked.

Marc pulled the blade back up by its rope and tied it down. "A good magician never tells his secrets." He seemed concerned about something on his hand and arm, shaking his sleeve to longer over his hand. "C'mon. We haven't got much time."

Jesse furrowed his brow at his classmate's odd behavior.

"What do you know about that kid?" Sid whispered urgently.

"Not a lot," Jesse replied, thinking hard. "Come to think of it, I think he only transferred here a few weeks ago. Maybe." His eyes widened as he saw Giles reluctantly getting on the guillotine. "Y'know… Giles is pretty smart…"

"I think we've got our demon," agreed Sid quietly.

Buffy paced the library nervously. She couldn't stand this. While Willow and Xander sat listlessly behind her, she wore a steady groove on the floor. The suspense drove her crazy. "This is ridiculous," she said at last. "We can't just sit here and wait for him to come to us. We have to figure out who we're dealing with."

Xander held up a hand. "I still vote dummy."

"No." The sequence of events didn't indicate any treachery on Sid's part. She couldn't let her own hatred of dummies get in the way of sound reasoning. "Okay, so we ruled out all the people in the talent show…"

"That's because they were all there," said Willow. "But like Jesse said, that's before we found the brain."

Buffy nodded. "Right. So it probably is one of them. Hopefully, Jesse's already told Giles." Then, she stopped walking as something occurred to her. She'd been so dead set on protecting Willow that she'd forgotten something important. "Giles is with them all right now!"

Xander scoffed. "Giles can handle himself. I mean, he is really… smart!" His eyes widened as he realized. Willow's eyes followed suit as the horror set in. Without wasting a moment, the trio leapt from their chairs and bolted out the door for the auditorium.

Giles hoped his deodorant would disguise how badly this guillotine made him sweat. Strapped to the bench, he peered up at the blade just above his line of vision. "Sh-sh-shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?"

Marc shook his head as he continued raising the blade with the rope. "No. No, this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just… come pouring out." He finished raising the blade and tied it off to a cinder block behind it. He slid the head restraint down onto Giles' forehead, then reached over and locked it down with a padlock.

Giles swallowed, having already worked out the plan but hoping just a little he might be wrong. "What exactly is the trick?"

Marc didn't look at him as he fastened the restraints even tighter. "Trick?" he asked before heading back to the block.

"Marc?"

Marc grabbed his hatchet and took a swing at the rope. The rope frayed a little but didn't break. He took another swing, cutting it even deeper.

"M-Marc?"

Just as Marc took his third swing, and the rope was almost cut through, they both heard a voice from somewhere in the darkness.

"Now!"

A flash of movement, and Marc suddenly went doubling over forwards. Something latched onto his head and started flailing, causing him to lose concentration and drop the hatchet. Giles tried to get a better look, but the strap around his head prevented him from getting a better look.

Then, to his left, he saw a familiar face arrive and start undoing the straps binding him to the bench.

"Just hang tight, G-Man," Jesse assured him, fumbling with the shoulder straps. "When are they ever gonna make a guillotine with velcro straps?"

"What's happening? What did you throw at him?" demanded Giles.

"Sid."

Giles looked again, and now he could see the flailing object had legs. The puppet demon hunter latched onto Marc's head and held on for dear life, apparently causing the not-a-real-boy distress as he tried to get free.

"I gotcha! I finally gotcha!" Sid shouted as he clawed at him.

"Get him off me! Get him off me!" Marc cried.

Not a moment too soon, Buffy came lunging at them and tackled Marc to the floor. Leg sweeping him, she kicked his legs out from under him as he tried to get up. She stood to take a fighting stance, but as Marc tried to get up again, Sid clawed at his face and gave a tug, and to their astonishment, he pulled a long section of Marc's skin off his face, sliding to the floor. Now everyone could see the icky green demon flesh underneath.

Marc took advantage of their distraction and jumped up, punching her, then followed up with a backhand fist to her face, sending her to the floor. He looked to take another leap for the rope, but Sid managed to tackle him from behind.

In that instant, Xander and Willow came running in. Xander went to secure the still fraying rope while Willow joined Jesse in freeing Giles.

"The last latch is on his head, but it needs a key!" said Jesse, trying to force the lock open.

"Well, where's the key?!" asked Willow.

"Marc's got it!" said Giles.

Xander scanned the room, and his eyes fell on the hatchet. "Jesse! Willow!" They looked up just as he kicked the hatchet over to them. Willow picked it up and began to hack at the lock.

Buffy, meanwhile, grabbed him and fell backward, pulling him down with her and flipping him over onto his back. She flipped up to her feet and turned to face him in a front stance. When he got up, she punched him in the face, followed by a kick in the stomach with a hopping front snap kick. He staggered backward and stumbled into his disappearing-act box, and Sid closed the door on him.

Buffy looked the wooden box up and down. "How do you lock this thing?"

She got a face full of wood and dust, jumping back as a green scaly fist punched through the box and reached for her. She quickly backed away as Marc kicked and shoved his way out of the box, now completely reverted to his demon form. He came at her, grabbed her by the neck, and lifted her from the floor.

"What's happening?" Giles yelled, still unable to move his head while Willow hacked at the lock still.

The demon began to slam Buffy up against a wall with his hand around her throat, over and over again. Seeing her distress, and having nothing else to do, Jesse launched himself at the demon, if only to provide some sort of distraction that would give her an advantage. He ignored the cold clamminess of the demon's skin as he piggybacked on and wrapped his arms around its head, trying to impair its vision. It worked well enough, because the demon had to stop throttling Buffy for a moment to shrug him off. Jesse went falling to the floor, and Buffy used the slackened grip to press her back against the wall and get in a solid kick to the chest.

The demon staggered backwards, and that left it open to Sid once again colliding with it, stabbing wildly with a knife and trying to get a shot at the chest.

Willow finally succeeded in breaking the lock. She wrenched the remains off and pushed the head restraint up, allowing Giles to slide out and start undoing his feet restraints.

Once he safely escaped, Buffy and Sid exchanged a look. The puppet gave the demon's head a yank, causing it to stagger in the direction of the platform. He jumped off, and the Slayer hit the demon in the face with an open hand punch followed by a backhand punch, and then a full spinning side kick to the demon's gut, making him stagger back onto the bench and land with his neck in the guillotine.

"Let go!" Buffy ordered.

Taking his cue, Xander let go, the frayed rope snapped, and the blade fell, chopping off the demon's head. Its body slumped lifeless on the bench, making Willow cringe at the sight. The head rolled across the floor to where Jesse still lay flat, and he jumped away with a shriek.

After a stunned pause, Giles took the opportunity to wipe his glasses. "Uh… I must say, all of you… Your t-timing is impeccable."

Sid picked up his discarded knife and carried it to the demon's body. "And now for the big finish." He positioned himself over the demon's chest, readying himself.

Buffy cautiously approached. "What are you doing?"

"It's not enough," Sid said quietly. "He'll come back. You have to get the heart. Then all of this'll be over."

Watching him steady his wooden legs on the platform, Buffy held out her hand for the knife. "Let me," she offered.

Sid shook his head. "I got it." He paused to look up at her, and despite just having a wooden dummy head, he looked tired. "Thanks," he said gratefully.

He lifted the knife high, and with all the force he could muster, plunged it into the demon's heart. He pulled back to do it again, but he clearly got it the first time as he slumped over onto the demon's chest with the knife still in his hands, now a lifeless puppet.

Giles watched as the teenagers solemnly gathered around Sid. Jesse looked like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. Buffy gently lifted Sid from the demon and held him in her arms, as if she'd lost a friend. Sometimes, he reflected they were growing up much faster than they should.

The curtain abruptly parted, cutting his thoughts short. At least sixty pairs of eyes gazed at them from the rows of seats, and they all looked incredibly confused by the sight of Buffy holding a ventriloquist dummy in front of her friends and a guillotine.

Somewhere in the crowd, they could hear Snyder ask, "I don't get it. What is it? Avant-garde?"

Trying to salvage the situation, Giles tried to signal to whoever had opened the curtain, but to his surprise, Jesse, seemingly emboldened, slipped deftly around Buffy and got in front of the slowly-closing curtain. He grabbed a toppled microphone, and after making sure it was on, he spoke into it, "Boy, just my luck I have to follow that," he joked.

A few light chuckles rippled in the audience.

Jesse looked back over his shoulder at his friends, and Giles saw him gaze one last time at Sid before winking and resuming talking. "They told me I had to come up with a talent for the talent show. I said, 'Fine, how does a medley of the world's greatest hits sound?' They said, 'Oh, which songs are you going to sing?' I said, 'Well, I like to open with the theme song to DuckTales and then segue into the theme song from The Bugs and Tweety Show'."

That got a bigger laugh, and the audience seemed to settle down.

Giles guided the other three backstage, and they all hung around in the wings to watch.

"If there are any Disney lawyers in the audience, remember – I'm too young to be tried as an adult."

"What's he doing?" Giles whispered.

"Bailing us out," Buffy whispered back. "He's a good distraction."

Willow looked hopeful. "Does this mean we don't have to do the scene from Oedipus?"

Xander shook his head. "No, I think he's just weaseling out of it."

They all looked sullen as Jesse got another laugh. They weren't big laughs. Sometimes he didn't get one and had to stumble on, but he got through the next five minutes looking like he was enjoying himself immensely, and that made them feel less bitter while they did the Oedipus scene without him.