A/N: Um...hey! Sooooooooooooo sorry for being so late. Since the last time I uploaded, somebody hacked my work email and I've been swamped with work. But as an apology, enjoy a special feature and a 3400+ words chapter! Hurray!

The warmth on my face feels too nice with the breeze coming in from the sea. With every passing moment, a thought leaves my mind- decimating my todo one task at a time. When the panic attacks came and there was no one and nothing to help me, distract me- I took it upon myself to silence my mind forcefully. Close my eyes and will my muscles unlock. Banish every thought as soon as it came. Lose awareness of the weight on my shoulders and the pain in my chest. Between my stubbornness to make this work and the tiredness in my body, it became…possible after a while. After the shitty month we'd been having, this detour feels surreal. There is a pit forming in my stomach because surely, something is about to go wrong. Peace is not easily found, not for people like us. How things can get worse than they currently are, I am not certain. But they will.

One thing in particular. Ruby.

The demon who's convincing my friend to drink demon blood to enhance his psychic abilities to kill the mother of demons, Lilith, and rescue his brother from Hell where he was dragged by hellhounds a little over a month ago.

Definitely wrong. I'd been doing everything to stop that from happening but I wasn't sure how long I could make him see sense. Sam loved Dean, and the fact that Dean had gone to hell because he made a demon deal to bring back Sam from the dead was definitely increasing the guilt factor. Wrong is wrong though, and drinking demon blood is a solid no-no. Even Dean would agree with that. Not that I thought much about what Dean would agree with, or about him in general. My sanity was hanging by a thread, and any prolonged thought on Dean would make me completely lose it. I want him here, beside me, drinking beer and chasing after skirts. And I will make that happen. But not by losing Sam in the process.

A beer is placed in front of me. Silently accepting it, I bring it to my mouth. Now, there's warmth beside me too. A very comforting warmth, one I'd recognize in my sleep, one that I never want to go away, one I crave too much. I'm not relaxed now. I'm using every ounce of strength I have to stay as I am and not lean into him. Those arms that have helped me for nights while I cried, those that look so strong, and inviting, are calling my name. But I resist. Comfort is something he doesn't want now.

He only wants Dean.

I want him.

—-

The red liquid in a bottle isn't wine.

She finally convinced him.

I drop the groceries, sprinting, knocking the bottle from his hands.

The walls are painted red.

My vision blurs as a sharp pain registers in my skull. "What the fuck, you bitch? That was my blood", snarls Ruby as she presses me against the motel wall.

"Hands off, Ruby. Now."

Good, atleast he cares this much.

Dropping me and whirling on him, she starts shouting. "I'm not your minion, Sam. I've been tailing you for months to convince you to use your powers for good and she is constantly against me. Get her in line. I won't keep coming here to get insulted. You don't need her. You come with me now and we can start with your training. Lilith isn't going to kill herself."

Sam's expression is easier to read in his distress. He doesn't want to leave me like this but he is set on getting revenge, getting Dean back. If he leaves now, my chances of getting him back are next to zero.

Getting onto my feet shakily, I make my way to Sam. The time for caution is gone. Stretching on tip-toes, I cup his face and bring it closer to mine. Sam's shaky inhale gives me hope.

"Sam, look at me. Can you see what you mean to me? How much I care for you? Can you remember how much I care for Dean? I love him, and I want him back. But I also love you, and I don't want to lose you. Please, Sam. This is demon blood. What if something happens to you? What if after drinking enough demon blood you turn into one too? It scares me, Sam. I'm so, so scared."

My eyes close at this point, tears leaking out. I hold his face tighter, wanting to feel him after staying away for so long.

"Sam, please. We'll start slow. We'll develop your psychic abilities without the blood. It's safer, right? And possible too. Please say yes, Sam. Stay with me. Dean is gone now, and until we get him back, we only have each other. Please be with me, Sam. Look at me. I need you, Sam. So much. Hold me, Sam. "

He isn't moving. My hands leave his face to find his hands. I place them on my waist and cup his neck. Stroke his chin. Touch his forehead to mine. "This isn't bad, Sam, right? Please stay with me. I'm begging you."

Cicadas are buzzing, curtains ruffling. Somewhere near, a dog barks. My heart gives a jolt.

Finally, he gives a jerky nod. Finally, I sob heaving in relief. Finally, the bitch leaves.

That's the first night we sleep in each other's arms.

Morning comes, and we're both still holding onto one another.

—-

The days after that are filled with hunting demons and Sam trying to kill them with his psychic abilities. Few he manages, rest we exorcise after interrogating about Lilith's whereabouts. Every demon that proves useless makes Sam resent me more. Those are the nights he sleeps in his bed turned away from me. We still don't talk. Barely perfunctory words are spoken, nods given, grocery lists written. I've taken to calling Bobby every time I'm alone, which is often. Sam needs his space and every second he's out of my sight, I imagine Ruby cornering him again and Sam accepting her help. Bobby shares my fear but there's not much he can do as Sam refuses to see him or any other hunter. The cases we stumble on, he ignores. I note them and ask Bobby to get some hunter on it, wishing I was on it. The thrill of the hunt would make me feel better. It'd feel wrong, without Dean. But those brief moments where nothing matters except you and the kill- I want that oblivion. The only time I get it now is in Sam's arms at nights his highness does deign to grace my bed. Settled between his arms and chest, the world feels liveable. Like I didn't see my best friend ripped to shreds and dragged to hell in front of me. Like there's still warmth in the world. Like I can relax and close my eyes.

Sometimes, my growing feelings for him worry me. Because my feelings are mostly of love and worry while his eyes show nothing when he looks at me. It's like he's only doing this because I begged him to hold me. A duty he has to perform because someone who's hurting asked him of it. These thoughts always make me feel guilty, and make me want to tell him to stop, lie that I don't need it. But I never say this because what if my need is the only thing keeping him here and away from Ruby?

While trying to save Dean, I knew my biggest job would be to get him back once he got taken. I never thought it would be to save Sam from getting himself taken as well.

He shuts the TV off. In 3 steps, he's on my bed. Lights are turned off, and I'm tugged down.

He's spooning me today.

I allow myself a brief smile and pull his arm tighter around me.

Don't let go, Sam .

—-

Sipping my glass of sake, which was the only thing I could identify and pronounce in this bar, I glance around from my darkened corner at the other patrons of "Kariudo no Tsuki", also called Hunter's Moon. It must be popular cause I scored a ride on the app. A taxi would've been cheaper but my Japanese isn't that good and I didn't want to get lost. Currently, it's 6 PM and people are starting to come in. I imagined it'd be like back home- mostly a hunter break stop but suits and lovebirds are also coming in. The interior looks rough but in a classy way. There is no one I can walk up to and just start talking. The hunter who gave me this address showed me a picture of a guy called Haru. He was short with a shorter mustache that reminded me of Hitler. Haru knew anything that happened here, but when I asked the bartender about him (thanks to Google translate), he just shot me a blank stare with "Haru no here".

45 minutes later of people watching, my suspect walked in, headed straight to me and plopped down on the seat next to me after giving the bartender a meaningful look. There goes his 18%. He said nothing, just stared at me. People have been staring a lot here in Japan. Dean would stare back even longer, refusing to give in but I'm tired of this shit and want to get some work done. Plastering on my best smile, I start in English, "Mr. Haru, pleased to meet you. This is Anne. Could we please talk?"

Seeing his nod, I'm inwardly relieved. Thank God he atleast understands English.

"You can guess what I do and why I'm here, correct?"

A nod.

"So can you please let me know your thoughts on how is Kira doing this murder? What have you found so far?"

Nothing this time.

I feel a headache coming.

"Mr. Haru, I understand you're a hunter. I know you understand me. I need answers. There are mass murders happening and it's our responsibility to stop them. Can you be of assistance?"

Nada.

My fingers tighten on the now-empty glass. I look away and count to ten. What a dick.

When I turn to him again, he's gesturing to a girl. She comes and stands next to him and then he gestures to me.

Looking at me, she flinches a bit and I rearrange my expression into something softer bringing a tentative smile on her face.

"I'm Umi. What can I do for you?", her sweet voice fills my ears.

Thank fucking God.

"Are you a hunter?"

She's taken aback at this blunt question and stammers out a response. "N-no, I'm still being trained. But I know things."

"Good. Please tell me your theories about the Kira case. Now please."

"Well, there isn't anything to tell. He's been sent by God."

Huh?

"Could you repeat that sweetheart?"

Umi's answer is full of admiration. "Kira is only killing criminals, and he has decreased the crime rate dramatically. People feel safer with him. We believe God has sent him to deliver his divine justice. "

Psycho alert.

"Kira is killing people, wielding a supernatural power we haven't heard of before and you're not concerned? What kind of hunters are you?"

Umi is quick to correct me. Me . "Not people, just criminals. And we haven't heard of it before because that power belongs to God and we do not hunt God."

God. of Death. Shinigami?

"So you know which God is doing it?", wanting her to confirm my suspicions.

"That isn't for us to know. But whoever it is has our thanks." Her eyes have gone mad; she totally believes this crap.

Dropping my nice act, I scoff. "Are you fucking crazy? Kira murders . He is wrong. Anything, any God, helping him is wrong."

For the first time, Haru speaks something. I don't understand the work but his words are angry and eyes accusing.

Umi speaks up, "Haru says we know what you've been doing. You are just like the monsters you kill in America. We are holy people- we kill evil and respect the divine."

"And Kira is DIVINE?"

All hints of a smile are gone from her face when she speaks next. "Keep your voice down. We won't help you catch Kira. We don't even want to find Kira. Let him rid the world of evil and then we can kill monsters in peace like us hunters are meant to."

Haru speaks again and the girl nods furiously.

"Seeing as you're an American hunter, we have something of yours that we're anxious to get rid of. Wait here."

She disappears behind the back door. In the 15 minutes it takes her to get back, I realize I'm fucked. Being on a different continent, I have no idea how Japanese hunters work. I have no contacts. No one to turn to in case things get fucked up. I've told L that I'm working on a lead but this bar is a bust. Only thing I've left is the library now- and even then, killing a Shinigami would take weapons. Where and how to get them? L could take care of the police if there are bodies but I'd have to tell him why there are bodies. Including him in this supernatural angle could prove disastrous. Should I call Garth? Jody? Have someone come here to help me?

When Umi returns, I realize I don't need to call another hunter from home.

Seems like they're already here.

The girl accompanying Umi is a 15-year-old teenager looking furious and relieved at the sight of me.

Krissy.

—-

Once Krissy finished her tale (with 3 burgers, 2 large fries and cokes), I marvel for the millionth time how we, who save the world, are constantly being fucked over. Her dad got her to investigate Kira, same as me but without the FBI's help, and got eaten by a vampire. Krissy's been stuck here since they came on a fake passport, she had no money, oh and yeah- that she's a minor. She couldn't contact anyone at home because who needs numbers when you have phones? But what happens when blood-crazy monsters trash your house and break all your shit? The hunters at the bar let her stay in exchange for doing some chores. I thank a God I don't believe in or count on that it was not worse.

"So I have some yen saved from what they paid me. But if you get me back home- I have an aunt- I'll pay you back," Krissy says once she's done eating.

"I'm getting you back sweetie, and don't worry about the money. Humanity still exists no matter what you've seen."

Her fingers start tapping on the table. "No matter what, huh? I've seen my father ignore me and go crazy to prove his worth by catching this psycho. What kind of person does that?"

Well, atleast he didn't force Krissy to hunt. "Look sweetheart, I don't know why your father did what he did. This life, it changes something fundamental inside people. We stop being regular people and become someone else. Just remember the good moments with him and leave it at that. Nothing's your fault, so no need to look for answers that aren't coming. Okay?"

Her nod is quick and shaky. The girl doesn't cry, I respect her. "Your aunt, she reliable?"

"Um, I don't really know. Dad only talked about her sometimes but she's lived at the same house for 20 years. I remember the way."

Not good.

My plan is made- atleast for her. I call my contact at FBI and tell him to have a fake US passport brought over to me with Krissy's face and a fake name. Earliest she can leave will be the day after tomorrow, six in the morning. Haneda to O'Hare, then to Sioux Falls Regional Airport. Jody will be there to pick her up and handle the rest.

Taking her back to the headquarters is a definite no. I pick the nearest motel to the airport and get ourselves a room. While Krissy's enjoying a long-awaited bath (evident by her off-tune humming), my mind is reeling- I have 0 leads on Kira with just a hunch about Shinigami, and now a kid to take care of for 2 days. Meanwhile, L is there with Light and Misa who could very well be the murderers. What a mess.

Pulling up Watari's number, I inform him that some personal business has come up requiring me to stay out of the headquarters until the morning of the day after tomorrow. "Your request for leave will have to be approved by Ryuzaki; please stay on the line while I confirm this with him." Staring at the phone in disbelief, I contemplate chucking it out along with the tracker he placed on my belt.

"I thought your commitment to catching Kira would have you here with us day and night. What is so important that you must stay away?", comes the bored drawl of the detective.

"As I told Watari, it's personal."

"What of the lead?"

I pinch my eyes shit remembering that shit show. "Terrible. Waste of time."

"I could've told you that before and saved you a trip to Hunter's Moon. "

I sit up straight from where I had been lounging on the bed. Hearing hunter in L's voice is like I've been in a dream and then suddenly falling in a dead drop.

God. Oh god.

"Anne? Anne?"

"Yes Ryuzaki?" I gasp.

"Are you alright?"

No. "Yes."

"What happened at the bar?", L prods.

"Nothing. My lead turned out to be a Kira supporter. They don't know who Kira is but they certainly won't be helping us." I wonder if the defeat in my voice is apparent to him or not.

"Hm. Unsurprising. You should get back to the headquarters so you may actually prove useful."

Picking at my cuticles, I'm planning my trip to the local library to show him how useful I am. "Shut up, Ryuzaki. I told you, I have a personal thing to take care of."

"Are you planning to engage in intercourse with a stranger?"

What. What.

My voice is a squeak. "Ryu- what the hell dude?"

"Well, you were at a bar, your location is at a motel now and asking for leave for personal reasons when you possibly can't have any in a foreign country you've been in for less than 48 hours with no contacts. It's a highly probable guess that you met a stranger at a bar and now want to have sex with him."

His whole explanation- wow. "No, Ryuzaki. I'm not at the motel to have sex. Something really important and unrelated to the case has come up. I wasn't expecting it. Real coincidence. But I have to take care of this. And as for being useful, I'll do my research from the local library tomorrow and be back at the headquarters the next morning."

"If you do anything stupid, the taskforce will not rescue you. Do not screw up the investigation. Do not draw attention to yourself during your library trip."

Duh. "There goes the plan of wearing my big bird costume tomorrow. I was really looking forward to it."

The robot does not laugh. I decide to get some answers for a change.

"How are things at your end? Lovebirds acting usual?"

L enunciates like he's talking to a 2 year old. "We cannot talk about that on the phone. It's not secure."

Rolling my eyes, I huff out a reply. "Like you haven't got the most secure phones on the planet. Thanks for giving me one, btw. Definitely going to get up to all sorts of nefarious things on this one."

A long-suffering sigh is my only answer.

I want more. I don't want to hang up. I don't want to face the surly, traumatized teenager about to get out of the bath. I don't want to go back to planning my next move when I have nothing.

I want Sam and Dean. And Cas and Bobby. And my mom and dad. And a hug. And someone to make me feel warm. And to keep talking to L- the only person I've allowed myself to trust one percent.

The wall I've been staring at goes blurry. I want a hug, now. NOW.

I swallow- sharp, hot glass shards going down my throat.

The call is still on. No one speaks. I disconnect.

I've let go.

A/N: What do you think? First real scene of Anne with a Winchester. Sorry that the bar was a bust but I've always imagined that hunters from different countries don't collab and Team Free Will has messed up (with good intentions) so many times that I don't think they'd be too welcome.

Anyway, I've got the outline for the next chapter ready so it should be posted in a week. It's still a WIP so if anyone has got any scene request, just let me know!

Comments, follows and favs fuel me, don't forget to leave some :)

XOXO