Chapter 12: Nightmares And Memories

Yuri's POV

The sounds of ruffling leaves and a gentle breeze encapsulate my surroundings. But not just any peaceful leaves coming off the trees. The unfortunate scene of a burning forest greets my eyes. But I already know this spontaneous forest fire isn't real. None of what I am seeing is. I hate to raise my voice, but I need to call attention to her to get this madness to stop.

"Libitina!" I yell. "Show yourself so we can settle this in a civil manner!"

I hear giggling that sounds a lot like my voice. "My, my... Hasty today, aren't we?" I narrow my eyes and growl a little as I look around to see where this person is hiding. Well... calling her a 'person' is a little generous. Really, she is a vile scum of the earth who haunts my subconscious.

I see a dark figure immerge from the floor. I still have never properly seen her face, but her long, messy, unkempt hair is the keen detail I know about her. Only Libitina would ever leave her hair to not be naturally straight.

"Cut the crap! Why are we back in this godforsaken place?"

Her shadow moved a bit. "I should cut the crap? You should be the one doing that, given the fact that cutting is your only talent." I look away as she is laughing like a maniac. "Hahaha! I also see that your self-confidence is still in shambles." I dig into a pocket and pull out my trusty pocket knife.

"I don't. Want. To get physical. I just want to know why you are here..."

"Very well." I hear something snap as I see the terrain around me change. The trees dissolved into black particles and the floor around me disappeared as well, leaving me and Libitina floating.

"Where are we going?" I ask a bit wary.

"Tell me, Yuri." Libitina moves closer to me. "Remember Markus?" My eyes widen as I look at her shadowy figure. "So you do know..."

"Of course you would know..." I say sighing a bit. "What do you want with him?"

She moved her figure and the black particles started to swirl around in a spiral, like a tornado. "I spent so many years of my life going through the trouble of ruining your life. Ever since the new year started, I've been in hiding, observing your every move... and I've seen the advances you and your club has made on Markus'."

So that's why Libitina hasn't appeared in a while.

"Careful what you're thinking..." She moves over and taps me on the head. I shudder at the contact. "Remember Yuri, we are one and the same. You try to stay positive, and I'm that voice in your head that crushes whatever hopes and dreams you got."

I growl again at her. "I will get rid of you, Libitina. Even with Markus' help. He's been such an amazing boyfriend..." I say with a smile and slight blush. Markus really has been great. He's been patient with me, and is willing to read my novels with me. Even though horror and fantasy worlds isn't his thing, he's still willing to have a open mind.

"Tsk tsk tsk... Markus is not the person you think he is." I glance quizzically at her. "Watch, in horror." The void of particles exploded and we appeared in Markus' room.

"Wait... I remember this place." I look over and I see Markus and Natsuki talking. "Me and Markus worked on festival preparations in here."

"Good, good. A gold medal for you..." She says sarcastically. "But look at what they are talking about." We float over to the two chatting and listen in on their conversation.

"I just... Don't understand it. You... like feet?" I hear Natsuki say. I then see Markus cringe on the outside. I then look over at Libitina and I see her float by my side.

"See Yuri... Markus is nothing but a disgusting person now that you know one of his more deeper and grosser desires."

I growl again and flip open my pocket knife. "I'm not going to judge Markus for being into this. He taught me to embrace my inner weirdness, and he should do the same."

"Ahaha~" Libitina then makes a snapping sound and the room around us dissolves again until we are floating in a grey void. "Remember Yuri... I got your will and self-confidence to break. Very slowly overtime. As any good inner demon would do. Now be a good girl and cut yourself, now that you realize that Markus is nothing more but a creep."

"He's not a creep!" I say raising my voice. "Sure, that desire seems a little out of left field but I'm not going to break up with him. Him and the literature club are all I have."

"Hm, yes." Libitina moves in closer to me. "And once I get Markus out of the picture, it's those girls I will have to dispose of next. You have my word on it."

"You will see Libitina! Markus will help me through my struggles. And you will be the one that will get disposed." Normally I'm not a outspoken person. Well, I was at one point in my life, but ever since this demon invaded my subconscious, all she's been doing is ruining whatever self-esteem I had.

I throw my knife at Libitina out of rage and the shadow herself exploded into a billion particles and reformed to my right. "You can't get rid of me that easily... We will be with each other 'till the day we die. Or in your case, the day I end your breathing." I hear her laugh maniacally as I walk slowly backwards almost tripping. I can feel my breath speedup over time and my heart is beating out of my chest.

This... Can't be happening!

"AH!" I wake up in a sweat as I hear a loud bang of thunder happening outside. There's also the sound of rain drops banging against my bedroom window. I then try to find the switch for my lamp as I yawn.

It was just a dream...

I haven't had a dream with Libitina in it for a while. The last time that ever happened was during the summer. Speaking of her, I can still hear the faint laugh that she emits in my head somewhere. ...I'm not doing too well...

I get on my hands and knees and dig under my bed for a black case. After a few clicks, the case opens and it reveals my precious knife collection. The first knife that has my attention is a pocket knife with a orange tinted blade and some autumn leaves sketched onto the handle. I dub it 'Calm Before The Storm,' and it's all because of autumn taking place before winter, which is a season known for having terrible weather; including storms.

I hate the cold...

I stand up and I march over to the bathroom with my knife in hand. I really hate doing this because this type of behavior is exactly what Libitina wants, but I don't care. I'm feeling stressed and I need to alleviate it in some way. If only there was some alternative.

...Wait. What about Markus? Today I hang out with him in the clubroom and after school. I glance down at my knife and then look at the clock. "...Thinking about him... It makes me..." I mutter as I roll up the sleeves to my pajama shirt as I look at all of the cut marks.

"I need him..."

Markus' POV

After my brief chat with Natsuki, I sit with Yuri on the floor as we read some more portrait of Markov. We are just now nearing the end of it and even though this type of book still isn't my thing, I'm still happy that I followed through with reading it with her in the end. At least I feel a little accomplished... And speaking of her-

"Hey Yuri?" She snaps out of her thoughts as she looks at me with a bright smile.

"Hello Markus. What's up?"

"Well, We are nearing the end of this novel. Do you have any other ideas novels you would like to read with me?"

She looks off to the side in thought for a minute. "Well, after school today, we could head off to the library. There's so many books that I've read and would love to share. Especially w-with someone as patient and wonderful as you..." My pupils shrink a bit. I've never seen Yuri appear so... assertive. And now that I'm thinking about it, she made me my favorite flavor of tea and we are sitting very close to each other.

She then realizes how close we are and backs away a bit. "O-oh! I'm s-sorry Markus. I don't know what came over me."

I dismiss her odd behavior. "Eh, It's alright. It's just one of those types of days, right?" She nods as we finish up the chapter we were reading. Monika then stands up from the teachers desk and walks to the front row of desks to grab our attention.

"Okay everyone! It's time to exchange poems." Me and Yuri stand up as I hand her my empty tea cup. She goes off to clean those while I dig into my backpack to get my poem. Gotta be honest, I'm quite happy with how this poem has turned out. My skills in regards to poetry have only gone up and I'm pleased with my progress. I never thought that this would be something I would enjoy doing but here we are...

After reading Monika's 'freeform' poem and Sayori's 'bittersweet' poem, I turn to Natsuki to see what she wrote. And after reading it, I blush and at her with a grin appearing on her face. Her poem details how this person had a secret that got leaked by this one girl. But they were able to work things out and they can still have a fun relationship with that in mind.

I see her trying to suppress a giggle. "Thanks for the inspiration dummy! Hehehe..." I roll my eyes and look away with a blush.

"Are you going to tease me every single day?"

She shrugged and put her hands on her hips. "Maybe I will... But it will always happen when you least suspect it." As usual in these sorts of situations, Natsuki is wearing a smirk on her face. At this point I have to hold the loss and deal with it.

And then when me and Yuri shared poems, she was a little... unfocused. Normally she offers critisim on how to add vivid imagery and the ways to evolve ones writing style. But I noticed how she seemed to be in a 'daze' as we were talking. This is the second day now where one of the club members seem off.

Jeez, I hope Yuri's okay...

The final bell rang and we put away our poems in preparation to leave today. Of course, Monika walks up to me and gives me a tight hug. "See you tomorrow Markus!" I hear her giggling softly as she walks out the door, with Natsuki following after. Sayori then walks up to me.

"You ready to walk home?"

I nod contently. "Sure thing." I then felt a tug on my sleeve as I turn around and see Yuri who is looking away with a small blush.

"Um... Markus?" I hear her say softly.

"Yes Yuri?"

"U-Um... w-would you like to g-go to the library?" Hm... I squint my eyes and I see a few beads of sweat run down her face. Earlier today, she seemed just fine to talk to. Now she is having problems even saying a single sentence. "I-If it's not too much trouble..." She then hides behind her hair, in possible fear of my response. But I always love hanging out with Yuri so of course I would be on board with that.

"I would love that Yuri." I say in a attempt to calm her nerves. Now truthfully, today is one of my 'off' days. When the girls devised the schedule for me to hang out with them, I requested to have a little 'me' time every now and again. I do enjoy the girls company, but just a couple of hours to myself is good for getting myself rejuvenated. ...Oh, that's a deep word Yuri would use. Her style must be rubbing off on me.

Yuri nods at me with a little excitement. "I do hope you enjoy my company. Meet me at the downtown library by five o' clock PM, okay?" I nod as she struts out of the room making elegant strides. Well, mostly. She seemed to be in a little hurry, which makes sense since I only have a hour to get there.

Me and Sayori walk home, with her being attached to my arm yet again. I'm fine with the silence though, since I can think ahead to my 'date' with Yuri. I don't know if she would think it's that, since she would probably be embarrassed if I brought it up. And hey, isn't there some fancy Italian restaurant that is right by the library? I should check what money I have, cause eating out with Yuri seems... pleasant to say the least.

I sigh to myself in content at what today could bring. A lot of my hopes are high, and nothing can knock them down a peg... right?

I arrive at the entrance library as I pull out my phone. ...Yep, on time and everything. A few steps later and I enter, and it's not just normal doors that you open here. It's a fun spinning door. As a kid I always loved those but it was because of the small novelty of those, I guess. A very, very, small novelty I should say.

The library itself has the front counter in front of the doors, with bookshelves to the left and right, with tables and chairs scattered near the windows of the library. And I see Yuri sitting by her lonesome self. Actually, come to think of it, there's no one even in this library. Not even any fellow librarians.

I scooch down next to Yuri as I see her looking out the window with her head lying on her hand. She seems rather deep in thought. "Hello Yuri." I say to catch her attention.

"Ah!" She quickly spins her head around and some of her purple hair hits me. I guess that's what I get for sitting so close to her. "M-Markus... You're finally here..."

"Uh-huh." I say slowly nodding my head. "So, what book do you want to read?" I see her smile stretch a bit as she pulls out a thin book.

"This title is about all of the intricacies on how to be a masseuse. You know..." She leans into me and her purple hair flops over my arm. "In case you wanted to ever learn about that type of stuff." My eyes widen as my breath seems to completely stop. What the heck do I do with this information. Does Yuri... know about my secret fetish? No... There is no way. Natsuki promised me that she wouldn't do that. But there's evidence against that claim here.

I try to dissolve this situation. "Are you sure that you don't want to read about horror? Or maybe something regarding some fantasy worlds you can immerse yourself in?"

Her eyes widen and she begins wearing a deranged smile. "There's only one fantasy world I would like to live in..." I hear her black flats fall on the floor as I feel her toes rub up and down my leg. "And you are all I need Markus..."

"Uh..." I start to stutter as it's now my turn to start sweating bullets. "I need to uh... go do something... else! Yeah!" I stand up as Yuri holds onto my arm.

"I hope you aren't thinking of leaving me..." She began to grit her teeth. "You are all I need. I need you." My whole body freezes as I begin to remember a conversation I had with Monika the day after I started dating all of the girls.

Me and Monika walk down the steps at the front of the school and head down the sidewalk. It was such a beautiful and sunny day, a perfect similarity to all of our up-beat and cheery moods. Now that the festival is behind us, all of the girls want to move past this, and hopefully, me dating all of them would be a good way to take their mind off of the mess of the festival day.

I feel Monika's soft hand brush up against mine as we walk down the path. Monika wanted to walk me home, but she also said she wanted to do this with a sense of 'urgency.'

"Hey, Markus?" She asks, breaking the awkward silence. "Because you are dating all of us now, I hope you don't feel too overwhelmed."

I shrug a bit at that. "I think I can manage. All of you have been so pleasant to hang out with so of course I will be on board with this, even if it felt a little weird hearing the suggestion."

"Is that your attempt at flirting?" She said with a teasing smile.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't." We both share a small laugh at my slightly sarcastic tone. After a minute, she loses the smile and puts on a serious expression.

"Just remember to spend your time equally with everyone."

"Why? Is there someone in the club that can be described as the jealous type?" Her expression remains as I feel like something is bothering Monika.

"Just... Be careful, okay? All of us have some sort of personal trauma that is kicking at us. I don't want one of the club members to get frustrated over something that is caused by their problems."

"Uh-huh..." I say trying to process this information. "Alright, Monika. I'll keep that in mind." We reach my house and as I turn to say goodbye, Monika looks at me in the eyes.

"Be especially careful of Yuri. Her 'troubles' can lead her to become a little more 'unhinged.'" I narrow my eyes as I silently question what she means by that. "If you ever end up in a situation like that, call me immediately."

I slowly nod as I get my thoughts together. "Sure thing Monika." She then embraces me with a warm hug.

"Thanks for being so understanding..."

Snapping back to reality, I back away and slowly walk backwards as Yuri's face became more and more unhinged. It honestly looks a little unsettling, almost as if she is a totally new person. A stark contrast to her normal self.

"Where are you going Markus...? I need you. I need you! I NEED YOU!" She began to chase after me as I dart to the other side of the library.

"Yuri! What are you doing!? You've never acted like this before!" I run off to the bookshelves as I see her standing at the other side.

"There's no time to ask questions. I need you!" I then reflect on the conversation I had with Monika a couple of weeks ago. I pull out my phone to contact her. While I'm doing this, Yuri is walking closer to me. "Don't you want to chill and cuddle...? I promise I won't bite."

"AH!" I sprint away as reach the library spinning door. But for some reason, the door won't spin to let me out. "Why won't this door budge?"

"Finally... You're all mine. You're ALL MINE!" Yuri's getting more and more insane by the minute, and at this point, calling Monika is the last resort I have. So now I need run around this library, trying to get Yuri off my trail while talking to Monika with being out of breath due to the running... great.

I head off to the bookshelves while my phone is ringing. Come on... answer...

"Hello~" I hear Monika reply happily on the other side. "How may I help you today Markus? Did you decide to spend your free day with me instead?"

"I can't, Monika! We have a code purple! I repeat, a code purple!" I turn back and I see Yuri running after me at great speeds. "Send help!"

"Say no more." I hear Monika state coolly. "I'll round up the other girls. Where are you at, by the way?"

"The downtown library! Now hurry, cause I'm running out of breath!" I knock over some chairs in a attempt to stop Yuri.

"Those chairs won't stop little old me...~"

"Just hang tight Markus." I hear Monika say as the call ends. Welp, now this day has turned into a fight for my life I see. But even after all this running, and my thoughts being jumbled, one thing is still on my mind. Why is Yuri acting like this? Nothing prompted this and it has me left feeling very confused.

There's more to you than I thought, Yuri..."

After a surprisingly short wait, I see the three girls at the spinning door at the front of the library. Natsuki and Monika were able to push it open, which its weird that they can do that from the outside but I couldn't from the inside. Sayori followed after them with her usual enthusiasm.

"Wee~ The spinning door is so much fun."

I run up to the girls trying to catch my breath. "I would *pant* love to share in your *pant* enthusiasm but Yuri *pant* wants me dead... maybe?" After stating her name I feel her presence behind me as she wraps a arm around my waist and pulls out a knife.

...Wait, WHAT!? I look over to my right and I see a orange tinted blade, with a few, small, red stains on it. If I had to guess, I would say that this knife got used somewhat recently...

"None of you will have Markus! He's all for me! And if you girls even dare take another step..." All three of the girls stared in shock at the situation I was in. Natsuki immediately tried to diffuse this situation.

"Have you gone insane Yuri!?"

Sayori's eyes began to shimmer with tears. "Yuri... why are you like this?"

Monika however looked at Yuri with a serious and scary look to her. "Dammit Libitina! I know that's you in there." Me and the other two girls looked at Monika with a confused expression. All while Yuri began laughing manically.

"No one can stop the control I have over Yuri's body!" I see the knife inch closer to my body as I shudder in fear. God, that knife looks simultaneously pretty and deadly. A evil combination if I've ever seen it.

Monika locked eyes with Yuri's face. "You son of a-"

"-Bitch!" Natsuki cut her off as she delivered a punch straight into Yuri's liver, causing her to drop the knife on the floor and releasing her grip on me. She then falls unconscious on the library's carpet. I would like to speak up but my body is still frozen in fear due to what just happened. I felt like I was very close to meeting death right there.

Sayori, however, broke the silence. "Um, Monika... Who's Libitina?"

Natsuki also walked up to Monika to interrogate her. "Yeah, I would also like to know..."

Monika heaved a deep sigh as she looked at all of us. "Libitina is... not normal. She's just... someone that has manifested within Yuri. A dark voice that always gets her down on the wrong path. I only happened to find out about Libitina through pure chance."

Natsuki nodded and put her hands on her hips. "So why didn't you tell us about this? We were comfortable enough to unload our personal problems onto each other."

"It's because Yuri wanted this to stay confidential. I knew she wasn't confident enough to tell you but now that we saw Libitina in action..."

I frown as I look at Yuri's sleeping body. "...Maybe we should have this conversation not in the library." I suggest.

Monika smiles a bit at my idea. "Right. Let's go to my house, and we can discuss more about this." Me and Monika lift up Yuri's body and we walk out of the library. Somehow we were able to move the spinning door though... I wonder if I am incredibly weak when under pressure.

The walk to Monika's house was peaceful, if a bit difficult at times. We got a few strange looks from the walking pedestrians as we neared the entrance of Monika's house. Upon entering her mansion, we set Yuri down to lie on her bed while me and the three girls head to the kitchen table to talk things out.

Monika looks towards me. "So remember how we talked about how Yuri can be a little 'unhinged?'" I nod slowly thinking back to the conversation. "Well, this is what I mean. Its all because of that darker voice in her head."

"Wait..." Sayori said getting her attention. "Libitina isn't a person?"

Monika shook her head. "Nope. She's the name that Yuri gave to her 'inner demon.' We all have that voice in our head that tries to weigh us down and demotivate us. But some of us power through and try to not lose hope. Yuri however, is prone to mood swings."

I think back to how Yuri was acting in the library. "Yeah, she definitely came off as really clingy." I look back at the girls in sadness. "But I also can't really blame her. She just seems like she has no self-confidence to speak of."

Monika sighed sadly. "It sucks that she is going through this... I've never, ever seen her act as assertive as she was today. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, Markus." I frown thinking back to how I was held down with a knife nearby me. I know for sure that Yuri wouldn't do that in good conscious, but it's still scary to be put into that in the moment.

Natsuki then butts in here. "That only leaves one thing. How do you know about Libitina?" Monika turns away and bites her lip.

"You might think I'm crazy, but I've had dreams of this 'shadowy' figure that sounds very similar to Yuri's voice. Libitina somehow entered my dream and spoke about how I'm too good for Yuri and we should abandon her from the club. Of course I fought against that." Damn, a figure that can enter other peoples dreams...? Today keeps getting stranger and stranger.

We hear footsteps walking down the stairs and we see Yuri heading towards the door with her head turned away. I try to signal her attention.

"Yuri!" I hear her mutter a squeak as she tries to dart out the door. "No, wait. I just wanna talk." I motion my arms to the girls down the hall in the kitchen. We all do..."

I then hear some sniffling from Yuri. "But... Why...? After h-how I treated y-you today." Some tears fall down her face and she slouches down by the door. "I-I almost killed you. A-And I..." I kneel down to be with Yuri and I wrap my arms around her.

"Shhh... It's okay Yuri. You weren't in control of that situation. And at the end of it all, no one got hurt." I try to smile to uplift her mood, But all it does is get her to cry more.

"I-I'm sorry M-Markus! E-Ever since the nightmare I h-had..." I smoothly rub her back while she sobs behind her hair, getting some of wet with tears.

"Let it all out Yuri." She definitely seems tense due to the stress of this Libitina 'character.' "I'm here for you. Actually..." I look at the girls who are smiling softly at my interaction with her. "...We all are."

"I'm s-sorry you had to f-find out this way about her..."

I gaze into her purple, glistening eyes. "Look, Yuri. We may not truly understand what you are combating right now. But now that we all know about your issues, we can help you out with it. Right girls?"

Sayori puts on her best smile. "We will do all we can for you, Yuri!"

Natsuki grins with her usual 'hands-on-hips' pose. "You know it!"

Monika crouches down and places a hand on Yuri's shoulder. "Libitina may be scary, but with all of us working together, that voice won't last much longer."

Yuri finally displayed a genuine smile as the tears stopped flowing. I then feel her return the hug as she leans on my chest. "Thank you Markus. Thank you girls. Thank you... for giving me another chance."