Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent.
It's dark. I can't see a thing.
As I try to find a comfortable position, pain stabs at my limbs. I've been trapped in this darkness for… how long, now? Three hours? Four? I open my mouth and a dry squeak slips out. "Dad?"
No response. A tidal wave of panic rises inside my chest. I'm only seconds away from a complete meltdown, but I need to stay calm. I take several deep breaths, my whole body trembling.
I said I was sorry. I didn't think it would be selfish to tell a lie. Not that my dad cares. According to him, I "tried to prevent justice" by covering for someone else. What does that even mean? I know Holly pushed Josh down the stairs, but the thing is, I also saw Josh put his hand up Holly's skirt. And I didn't think she should've gotten in trouble when she wasn't being mean in the first place.
I realize I'm crying now. Tears are pooling in my eyes and dribbling down my cheeks. I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm only nine years old. I'm too young to be punished like the grown-ups, who go to jail when they do the wrong thing.
I decide to try one last time. "Dad?" I call out.
A female voice drifts through the emptiness, eventually reaching me. "And I'll let you know when we've made a decision." There's a visitor in our house. Relief floods through me.
I'm about to say something when someone else responds. "Wonderful." I'd recognize that deep, rumbling voice anywhere. It's my dad's. Fear paralyzes me as I'm forced to listen.
The woman goes on talking, oblivious to the threat in front of her. "You know," she says to my dad, "you've done the most to keep our community thriving. We really can't thank you enough."
"I appreciate that, Ms. Prior," my dad replies. I feel sick. This is Natalie Prior, a generous humanitarian with a good reputation in Abnegation, and she's praising my father?
"And how is your lovely son? I haven't seen him in a while." Natalie sounds curious. I perk up a little. Maybe she'll ask to see me in person. Seconds later, my hopes are dashed.
"Tobias has been acting selfish lately," my dad tells her. "Instead of volunteering, he skips school and misses his assignments."
"What a shame. Well, you'll whip him into shape soon enough. You're an excellent parent." From her tone, I can tell Natalie isn't going to probe further. My eyes sting as the tears threaten to come back.
My dad chuckles. "Thank you, Natalie," he says. I hear light footsteps downstairs. The one person who could save me is about to depart. "I must be going now," I hear her say. "I'll see you very soon." And with that, Natalie's gone. The click of the front door is quiet, but to me, it has the same impact as a bomb explosion.
I start to whimper involuntarily. My emotions are rising to the surface too fast. If my dad happens to hear me, he'll say I was trying to alert Natalie. The sound of heavy boot steps on the stairs jolts me out of my thoughts.
He's already coming, I realize. There's no way out of this for me now. Please, Lord, I pray. Let him hit me only once. Let him use his hand instead of the belt, so it'll be over quicker.
The boot steps pause. They're at the top of the stairs now. I picture my father standing there, his expression cold and emotionless, a belt looped around his wrist.
In my mind, I conjure up an image of my mom, one of my angels. She died some time ago, but the memory of her is still fresh. I think I'll always miss her as long as I live.
"Mama, help me," I whisper. Then the closet door flies open and my senses are attacked.
Brrrrriiiiiing! The bell signaling the end of the school day blares throughout the room, startling the students. They obediently get up and file toward the door, forming a perfectly straight line.
"Class is dismissed," says the teacher at the front of the room. She's currently preoccupied with wiping down the chalkboard, so she doesn't even turn to look at the kids. "Don't forget, you have eight chapters to read."
The students depart without looking at her. Only one remains in his seat longer than the rest. Nine-year-old Eric yawns, fighting off the urge to lay his head down and take a nap. He can barely even stand, his muscles feel like they're permanently locked in place.
But he has so much left to get done. Next, he will go home. Then he'll hit the books and stare at the pages until dinnertime. Then he'll eat quickly, taking in just enough calories to keep him fed, but slim. The last thing he'll do after his nightly bath is, of course, study for a few hours more.
When he passes through the school's front entrance, only the wind is there to greet him. All the other kids are getting in their parents' cars, or they're hopping on a public bus. Eric's impatient to get off school property. His shoes pound the sidewalk as he hurries along. When he's sure none of his teachers can see him, he rips off the spectacles that the Erudite issued to him, shoving them deep inside his pocket.
It's when he sees the smears of bright red on the pavement that he freezes in his tracks.
The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Something's very wrong, and he knows it. Upon closer inspection, he sees that the bloodstains resemble footprints. They're the prints of a young child, no older than ten.
Eric makes up his mind to track down the mystery person. The footprints lead to a filthy space between two apartment complexes. It's not exactly the most welcoming part of town. Closer to where the factionless live. Garbage in the streets, dilapidated buildings, and poorly paved roads are the norm for them.
That's why Eric is wary of stepping into the alley. He knows how he'll look to his parents if they see him with a factionless child. But his curiosity can't be helped. "Hello?" he calls out, keeping his volume low.
Huddled against the wall is a dark figure, its features impossible to make out.
"Hey," Eric greets the person. "Are you… okay?"
The person's head snaps up. He's just a kid, perhaps in Eric's year at school. Still, this boy's a lot taller, and his skin is much darker, and his clothes are markedly different. No one from Erudite would be seen wearing that ratty gray T-shirt. This stranger is from Abnegation, the faction that despises Erudite the most.
Still, he's much more terrified of Eric. His hands go to his face, hiding it from view. "No!" he gasps. "Don't."
Instead of withdrawing, Eric takes another step forward. He notices the cuts and blisters on the kid's feet. "It's fine," Eric says, attempting to soothe the poor boy. "I'm not gonna hurt you."
Cautiously, the boy lowers his hands. It takes a minute of coaxing, but eventually, the boy comes out of his shell. Eric learns that his name is Tobias, and that he's nine years old, and that he tripped on some rocks while running. He doesn't mention why he was running. But that's alright with Eric.
"So what are you doing here?" Eric asks, trying to sound casual. He takes out his water bottle and splashes Tobias' feet, washing the wounds clean. "You got a mom?"
Almost imperceptibly, Tobias shakes his head.
"Oh," Eric says quietly. "You have a dad?"
"One who hits me, yeah." Tobias releases a sigh. "He locked me in the closet, 'cause I was acting selfish. But I got away."
"That's good," says Eric. He's suddenly thankful for his mom telling him to keep a first-aid kit in his bag, "just in case." He pulls out several rolls of gauze bandages and begins wrapping Tobias' bloodstained feet. The other boy seems to still be in pain, but he's relaxing. It's hard to believe, but maybe they could even become friends.
After the initial shock of meeting him wears off, Eric decides to stay with Tobias. The kid adamantly refuses to go home, convinced his father's going to exact his revenge. But there's no bringing him to Eric's house in the Erudite sector. Eric's parents feel only hatred for the Abnegation, even their children.
Consequently, Eric and Tobias find themselves sitting together on the edge of what was once a brick wall. Tobias needs to rest, that's the one thing Eric's certain of. He shifts a little where he's sitting, and suddenly there's a metallic clink from his pocket. The pair of glasses! He almost forgot. He pulls out the hated accessory, staring at it with disdain.
Tobias notices. "Are those yours?" he asks.
"Sort of," Eric admits. He wrinkles his nose. "My mom makes me wear them. She thinks they'll make me look smarter."
Tobias suddenly cracks up. "Oh, wow. That's hilarious."
"Quit laughing! I hate them!" Eric glares at the spectacles. Despite his outward show of anger, he's starting to like the Abnegation boy. At least the kid knows how to laugh. "If I had a gun," says Eric, "I'd do target practice with the lenses."
Across the street, there's a sudden disturbance. A half dozen teenagers, fledgling members of Dauntless maybe, are engaged in a game of paintball. Loud pops sound from their guns as they shoot at each other. Even when they're all splattered with paint from head to toe, they laugh wildly.
Eric's eyes wander over to the side of the road, where a couple of the teens' guns lie. He grins at Tobias. "Hey," he whispers. "You wanna go have some fun?"
Tobias smiles back, and instantly, Eric has his answer.
The aim of the game's simple. Each player gets a chance to put the glasses in a hard-to-reach spot, anywhere they see fit. Then both Eric and Tobias will get a turn with the gun. Whoever knocks the glasses to the ground first is the winner of that round.
Eric's positioning the spectacles on top of a crumbling section of the wall. He quickly scoots away, in case Tobias is already taking aim.
Sure enough, a projectile comes whizzing through the air right at him. It misses him by half an inch and slams into the glasses. Bright red paint explodes over the lenses. The force of the impact sends the spectacles tumbling down onto the sidewalk.
Eric ducks, covering his face with both hands. "Dang, you almost shot me in the head."
Then he sees the shattered glasses on the pavement. "Man, you're good!" he compliments Tobias. "How'd you do that?" They're only a few rounds in, but Tobias is dominating.
The Abnegation kid's grinning from ear to ear. "I learn pretty fast, I guess."
"Okay, my turn." Eric holds out his hand. "Give me the gun." The other boy passes him the weapon, and the next round begins.
Hours have gone by. The sun's about to sink below the horizon. Eric grips the gun firmly, about to shoot once more, then he looks up briefly at the sky.
"It's getting late," he comments. "You wanna go home?"
Tobias shrugs. "Can't go anywhere else, can I?" He sounds only mildly disappointed, but the tremor in his hands reveals his terror. Eric reluctantly tosses the gun off to the side. He and his new friend begin the long trek to the Abnegation sector.
"You know… I wish there was school tomorrow." Tobias is looking at nothing in particular, but his expression's wistful. "My dad tries not to hit me on school nights."
Eric walks next to him in silence. Suddenly, a plan forms in his mind. Excitement bubbling up within him, he taps Tobias on the shoulder. "Wait. I have an idea," he whispers. "You want my help?"
Tobias turns and nods. His smile has come back, and it's wider than ever. Eric finishes outlining his plan in less than a minute. Once it's all laid out, both boys feel like a weight was taken off their shoulders. They cross into the part of town where the Abnegation live, safe in the knowledge that they now have hope, as well as their newly formed friendship.
Alice Brewster is more than a member of the council. She calls herself an arbiter of justice and an educator of children. And the Abnegation see her as an important authority in their faction. But to Eric, she's also one of the worst offenders when it comes to grown-ups hating children and not wanting them to have fun.
Right now, she's to decide Tobias' punishment. She's just accused him of disrupting the peace and disrespecting his father, among other things. Now she trains her eyes on the boy from Abnegation, who's currently slouched in a metal chair. No one would be able to tell how tall Tobias is now. The chair, normally occupied by adult criminals, is so imposing that Tobias' feet dangle several inches above the floor.
"Mr. Eaton," Alice begins, her voice razor-sharp, "you broke the rules by running away. Are you aware of this?" She raises an eyebrow.
Tobias gulps. His eyes flit about nervously, looking for help. But Eric's reluctant to speak again. The woman whose office they're in already doesn't trust him. She thinks he's just some tattletale, enough that he was willing to turn Tobias in, but not enough that he'd name Tobias' accomplice.
The guilty party finally speaks. "Yes, Mrs. Brewster," he stutters.
Alice is about to launch into another lecture, then Eric cuts in. "Don't bother talking to him," he sneers, pointing at Tobias with pretend contempt. "He doesn't even know what's going on."
Unexpectedly, Tobias starts to laugh. He tries to hold it in, but even with a hand clamped over his mouth, he can't stop the snickers from escaping. Eric decides to improvise. "See?" he continues, pretending to take pride in Tobias' humiliation. "This kid's…" He says a word, an extremely offensive one that's been banned in Abnegation, but is still used by the Erudite to describe those living with an intellectual disability.
Alice smiles a little. "Very well," she says to Eric. "The term you used is inappropriate, but you are correct. We can't have the same expectations of kids like him." She glances at Tobias, who has finally gone quiet.
"But wait," Eric pipes up, more urgency in his voice than usual. "There's something else." He points at Tobias again. "I heard him tell his friend he skipped school today."
"Is this true?" Alice glares at Tobias, not caring that he now looks like a deer in headlights.
Before Tobias can reply, Eric goes on. "Yeah, it's true. So, I propose we punish him by… making him go to school tomorrow." He makes sure to sound eager, like he's glad to be of assistance to Alice.
Alice pats him on the head, smiling warmly at him. Normally, the Abnegation can't stand the sight of anyone from Erudite. But it seems she's changed her mind about Eric. Maybe his plan did work after all.
Eric turns to Tobias and, making sure Alice can't see, winks at him.
"Awesome!" As soon as the door slams behind Eric, he jumps and cheers and wraps his new friend in a hug. "I can't believe it worked."
Tobias wears a triumphant grin. "Well," he says, "you saved my butt, that's for sure."
Feeling a need to keep his friend safe, Eric touches Tobias' shoulder. "You're gonna be okay?" he asks. "Your dad's not gonna go after you?" Tobias shakes his head vigorously.
"Nope," he says, and he sounds so sure, Eric's immediately convinced.
"Good," he declares. A moment later, he hears the screeching of brakes from outside. He takes a quick peek out the window and recognizes his mother's car. Dang, I lost track of time, he thinks. He'll be in trouble for sure, but it'll be worth it when he sees Tobias again.
"Let's hang out tomorrow," Eric suggests. "Meet me after school?"
Tobias doesn't even hesitate. "Yeah, I'll be there," he says, grinning.
"See you around," says Eric, just before he turns and hurries down the stairs. He's not looking forward to the scolding from his mother, but in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? His life's about to get so much better, now that he's got a friend by his side.
"Yes!" I cheer. I race into my bedroom, pumping my fists. I feel like a coiled spring, all this energy inside me, desperate to be released. I want to dance and sing and praise God. A kid from Erudite found me, and instead of ratting me out to my dad, he became my friend? He must be the rarest type of Erudite.
My cheeks throb because I'm smiling so much. I have to tell someone about my day, but my dad isn't someone who's safe. So I go to the next best person. I crouch down next to my bed, then I pull the ancient wooden trunk out from under it.
Inside are two of my most treasured possessions. One is an old photo of my mom, taken shortly before she passed. The Abnegation aren't allowed to take photos of themselves, but my mom could get away with it in the privacy of her room. She looks so strong, so dignified in the picture. Like the queen of a powerful kingdom. Her dark eyes stare at some point in the distance, as if she's looking to the future, but the expression on her face is full of hope for today.
I caress the picture gently. "Mom, I have a friend now," I say. "His name's Eric."
After a minute, I set the photo back down. Then I pull out the other cherished object, a clay sculpture that Mom and I made together. No one knows this, not even my dad, but Mom loved to create art in her spare time. She had an entire collection of sculptures that she'd made. She had to hide her hobby from the Abnegation, though, since they believe art is a waste of time.
I once asked Mom what her sculptures did and how they were useful. She said they didn't do anything obvious, but they might be able to do something "in my heart." Back then, I had no clue what that meant. Now I get it.
The sculpture Mom and I made is, on the outside, pretty simple. Mom helped me shape the clay to look like a pair of hands, each one reaching out for the other. Like the symbol of Abnegation. But the finished product is, to me, so much more than that. Every mark I left on the clay was left with Mom's guidance, every rough edge made smooth by a combination of Mom's and my fingers. Having the sculpture is like having a piece of Mom with me.
I feel nostalgic all of a sudden. I hold the sculpture closer to my face, and as I do, my eyes fall on a strip of tape stuck to one corner. Squinting, I read Mom's message.
Your dad says art of any kind is sinful, so keep this hidden!
I frown. Remembering how violent my dad's temper can be, I quickly shove the sculpture back inside the trunk. Then, after flipping the lid shut, I slide the trunk back under the bed.
It's gotten dark outside. I need to be in bed before my dad gets home. I climb in between the covers, pulling them all the way up to my nose.
Still, I can't block out the sound of my dad storming through the front door. His shoes thump against the floor downstairs, so loud, it's like a stampeding horse is down there. I hear my dad call someone on the phone and shout at them. Now all I can think of is him screaming at his own wife and threatening to kill her.
My smile's long since faded. The peace I felt briefly, when I hung out with Eric, is long gone. Once again, I'm reminded of how powerless I am. I'm a kid in Abnegation, where, no matter how virtuous the adults claim to be, children are expected to be seen and not heard. I'm confined to this house, where the air feels like it'll suffocate me, and the father I live with is a monster.
And I can't do anything about it. Even after making a friend, I'm stuck where I am.
I could pray to God, but He feels so far away lately. So instead, I just cry myself to sleep.