"Are you ready, babe?" asked Jeremy, placing a hand on the small of Jean's back. Jeremy and Kevin had been chatting with various members of the production crew following their filming of the Newlywed Game segment, with Jean standing quietly—and contently—beside him. But it had been a long day of being on, and he could tell Jean was fading.

"Only if you are," said Jean with a shrug.

Kevin glanced over at them; Jeremy knew he'd picked up on Jean's tone, too. He looked back to the lead production assistant—Vanessa—with a smile. "I'm sure we've taken up enough of your time," he said. "Thanks again for having us back! We had a great time."

"Of course!" said Vanessa. "We love having you all on. That Superlatives video has more hits than anything else we've done. I'm sure this one will be up there, too!"

"We'll keep an eye out for it this evening!" said Jeremy. It was still mind-boggling that people actually cared what he did off the exy court—it was enough of a stretch to believe that cared about what he did on the court.

"Y'all are still taking me back to the hotel, right?" asked Kevin. "Since Andrew and Neil left me?"

"Yeah, totally," said Jeremy. "Let's go." He headed out the door, followed closely by Jean and Kevin.

"That was fun, I think," said Jean once they were outside. "I expected it to be weird, based on the questions I got ahead of time, but it ended up being very amusing."

"And it was fun to win," said Jeremy, grinning. "Do you think Andrew and Neil are going to do anything to try to redeem themselves?"

"Let them try," said Jean. "Whatever they do, we'll just win again."

"I like the confidence," said Kevin.

Jean raised his eyes. "What does that mean? Are you on our side, or theirs?"

Kevin put his hands up. "No way. I made it through the entire Minyard-Josten Rivalry without taking sides. I'm not about to start now."

"This isn't an actual rivalry, though," said Jeremy. "It's just one video."

"For now," Kevin agreed.

Jeremy stopped just short of the car. "Does that mean you think they're going to escalate things?"

Jean snorted and opened the passenger side door. "They always escalate things."

"Fair enough," Jeremy laughed, getting into the driver's seat. Kevin had already climbed into the back behind him. "Still, they're not going to do anything now, right? They'll at least wait until after the video's up."

Kevin sighed, and Jeremy glanced back to see him looking at his phone. "You sure about that?"

"What did they do?" asked Jean, pulling out his own phone. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

"What?" asked Jeremy, starting the car and pulling out of the parking spot. "Did they tweet something?"

"Yeah," said Kevin. "Five minutes ago. Andrew tweeted out a picture of himself and Neil—they actually look pretty sweet, they're asleep on the sofa—hey, wait, I took this picture."

"Don't worry, he did not give you photo credit," said Jean. "So there's no reason for people to assume you've sided with the losers."

"Are you sure there are sides?" asked Jeremy hopefully. "If he just tweeted a picture of the two of them, it probably doesn't have anything to do with us, right?"

"Sure, maybe," said Jean. "That is, if you can't read the rest of the tweet."

Jeremy grimaced. "What did he say?"

Kevin read the tweet aloud. "'If you want to see what a quality relationship looks like, look no further. If you want to see a trivia contest, be on the lookout for our new video with jeanknox and jeremy_knox, out later today. You can judge who really wins #AndreilJerejeanRivalry.'"

"So," said Jeremy with a sigh, "there's a hashtag?"

"There's a hashtag," Jean confirmed grimly. "And it's trending."

"I don't know whether I should be surprised Andrew apparently knows the most popular ship names for all of you," said Kevin. "Do you think he was able to explain it to Neil?"

"Absolutely not," said Jean. "But I would pay good money to have been there to see him try."

"Does this mean we have to retaliate?" asked Jeremy. He didn't particularly want to escalate things—the Minyard Josten Rivalry may have started out as a fun joke, but both Neil and Andrew had looked pretty miserable by the end, before they decided to come clean. "Maybe if we don't say anything, it will just die."

Jean's phone started to buzz, and he frowned at it. "Renee's calling," he said, answering the phone. "Hello?" He paused. "Not bad, and you?" After another pause, he sighed and put the phone on speaker. "Yes, we've seen the tweet. I'm in the car with Jeremy and Kevin now."

"Oh, good," said Renee. "Have you decided whether you're going to engage with it?"

Jean glanced at Jeremy. "We're not sure yet."

"Okay," said Renee. "If it matters for you decision, Allison is currently on the phone with Neil and Andrew. I think they're designing a line of Team Minyard-Josten merchandise."

Jeremy groaned. "Seriously?"

"I heard her say something about orange fox paw keychains."

"We don't have to engage just because they're making keychains," said Jeremy. "We can still just ignore it if we want to. That could be an even bigger power move—showing we're above whatever petty shit they're trying to start."

"We could," Jean said, "or we could teach them not to start fights they can't win."

Kevin snorted. "Good luck with that one. I've been trying for years."

Jeremy could feel Jean's eyes on him as he drove. "You really want to say something, don't you?" he asked, glancing over at the passenger seat.

"I already have the tweet drafted."

Jeremy swallowed the voice in his head that was telling him this was a very bad idea. "What does it say?"

"It says, 'A couple's wedding photos say a lot about their relationship.' And I've attached two pictures. The first one is of us during our first dance—you know, the one we've got framed in the living room."

Jeremy nodded. It was a really good picture. "And what's the other one?"

"A screenshot the article showing Neil and Andrew arriving at the courthouse separately, with the headline 'Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard: In Trouble at a Different Kind of Court?'"

"Am I in either of these photos?" asked Kevin.

"No," said Jean. "You are out of the frame."

"In that case, I fully support this tweet."

"Thank you for your support," said Jean. "Jeremy?"

He hesitated. Renee spoke up over the phone. "I'm not sure if this will make a difference, but I design a lot of personalized merchandise for nonprofits as part of my job. We've done plenty of standard items like t-shirts and hats, but we've also done some more unique stuff like socks and water bottles."

"Wait," said Jean suspiciously. "You helped Minyard last time. How can I know you are not double-crossing us?"

"They've got Allison," said Renee. "And, frankly, I think my talents would better serve the two of you."

"Because we are going to win, and you want to be on the winning team," said Jean confidently.

"Something like that," said Renee agreeably.

"All right, I am satisfied," said Jean. "Jeremy?"

Jeremy could still feel Jean looking at him with those hopeful eyes he could never say no to. He took a deep breath and let it out in a huff. "All right," he said. "Let's do it. Send the tweet."

"Done," said Jean with a grin that made most of Jeremy's trepidation melt away.

"So," he said to Renee, "can you help us design some—water bottles, did you say?"

"I'd be happy to," said Renee. "I'll put together some mockups of different items and designs, and you can let me know which ones you'd like us to produce. It sounds like Andrew and Neil are focusing on Palmetto colors—should I assume you'll want to use USC colors?"

Jean made a face. "Orange is a terrible color."

"You get used to it," said Kevin.

"USC colors sound good," said Jeremy. He glanced at Jean. "Right?"

"Sure," said Jean. "Red and gold look good together. And it will look particularly nice next to whatever orange atrocities Neil and Andrew are coming up with." He looked down at the phone and sighed. "No offense to your wife."

Renee laughed. "None taken, I'm sure. To be totally honest, Allison isn't a fan of the color orange, either. But she knows who she's working with. And I wouldn't underestimate her," she warned them. "She'll find a way to make it tasteful."

"Are we making a mistake challenging her in this?" asked Jeremy, furrowing his brow.

"We're not challenging her," said Jean. "We were attacked by the Minyard-Jostens. We're just firing back."

"I know," said Jeremy. "But maybe we shouldn't meet them on their turf. We're just responding directly to what they're doing, so they've got a head start."

"Oh," said Kevin. "That's it. You think you're going to lose."

"That's not it," Jeremy protested. Jean gave him a look, and he immediately caved. "Okay, that's at least part of it. But am I wrong?"

"Only insofar as you're underestimating Team Knox," said Renee. "Trust me. I wouldn't have offered to help if I didn't think we could win."

"See?" said Jean. "We're going to beat the shit out of them."

"All right," said Jeremy. "I'm loving the confidence. I guess we're doing this, then!"

"To be completely accurate," said Jean, "we were already doing this. My tweet is already very popular. I have almost as many retweets as Andrew's, and his has been up longer. So I'm taking that as a very clear indication that we are much more popular than they are."

"That's wonderful!" said Renee. "I'll start working on some designs, and I'll send them to you for feedback as I go. Okay?"

"Okay," Jeremy agreed. "Thanks again, Renee!"

"Any time!" she said. "Talk soon."

Jean hung up the phone and turned to look at Kevin. "Are you really going to stay neutral for this?"

"I live with them," said Kevin.

"So?"

"I live with them," Kevin repeated.

"I don't see why that should be a problem," said Jean with a shrug.

"Maybe not for you," said Kevin with a snort.

"It's all right, Kev," said Jeremy. "We understand."

"Thank you, Jeremy," said Kevin, shooting a glare at Jean, who flipped him off.

"Wait," said Jean. "You live with them!"

"Yes. That's what I've been saying, repeatedly."

"You are perfectly positioned to be our spy!"

"Do you have any idea how many knives the two of them own?"

Jean shrugged. "Don't get caught."

Kevin crossed his arms. "What makes you so sure I'm not spying for them?"

"I saw the look on your face when they fired the first shot," said Jean. "You're too annoyed with them for starting another weird Twitter feud."

Kevin sighed. "We'd just gotten out of the last one."

"How do you think we'll get out of this one?" asked Jeremy. "I mean, the Minyard-Josten rivalry only ended because they were sick of having to act like they hated each other in public. I'm pretty sure they could comfortably keep publicly antagonizing us until we're all dead. Maybe longer, depending on the logistics of the afterlife."

"Come up with a rule," Kevin suggested. "There has to be some way to definitively win."

Jeremy furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"That's what they did last time—the one to admit to the public that they were married would be the loser," said Kevin.

"So, is it that they need to be able to win?" asked Jeremy.

"We're going to win," Jean cut in.

"It's really not about the winner at all," said Kevin. "It's more of a way to pull the plug if it gets to be too much."

"Okay," said Jeremy, nodding slowly. "That sounds like a good idea." He pulled into the hotel parking lot. "Are we meeting up to watch the segment together when it drops? Or—do we not do that anymore, since we're feuding?"

"See, this is why I hate these things," said Kevin with a sigh. Jeremy completely agreed with him. "Y'all are invited to come watch in my room; so are they. Figure it out."

"We'll be there," Jeremy said.

Jean was nodding. "Perfect cover. Your room serves as a neutral site. Maybe we can negotiate the terms of the rivalry. Hey, do you think I can work something in that will allow me to get into a public fistfight with Neil?"

"Kevin was just talking about his knives."

"They had to fly here," said Jean. "The TSA is not fond of weapons. How many could they have?"

"You'd be surprised," muttered Kevin.

Jeremy ignored them. "Besides, our rivalry isn't about us hating each other. It's about who's the better couple. How would you fighting Neil do anything for that?"

"Easy. I'll be defending your honor. And it will be fun."

"Your definition of 'fun' could use some work," Jeremy said, putting the car in park. He sighed. "Look, I'm not going to tell you that you can't. Just—try not to, maybe?"

Jean nodded. "I can work with that." Jeremy gave him a look. "I will try not to physically fight Neil," he amended.

"Good enough," Jeremy said, getting out of the car.

"That means you're not actually going to fight him, right?" Kevin asked Jean urgently as they followed Jeremy towards the hotel. "Because if something happens and you can't play—"

"Does this mean you think I would lose?" Jean scoffed.

"If something happens to either of you," Kevin amended. "You've both got the same deal."

Jeremy's jaw tightened, and he slowed his pace to fall into step beside Jean so he could reach over and take his hand. He knew Jean was probably better off with the deal than without one, but he hated the way Jean's life was still bound to the Moriyamas. And he knew how much Jean hated thinking about it.

"I am well aware of the terms of the deal," Jean said, frowning and squeezing Jeremy's hand a little more firmly than necessary.

"I'm just saying," Kevin pressed, "don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," Jean promised, his eyes on Jeremy.

"I know, love," said Jeremy, leaning in to brush a kiss against his cheek. Jean's grip on his hand loosened slightly, and Jeremy relaxed with him as they walked into the hotel lobby.

"Okay," said Kevin. He sighed. "I don't mean to push."

"Then don't," said Jeremy, raising an eyebrow at him.

Taking the hint, Kevin changed the subject. "Do you two need to go back to your room first, or do you want to come straight to mine?"

Jeremy looked at Jean, who shrugged and nodded. "We'll come straight to yours," Jeremy said.

"Cool," said Kevin. They got into the elevator, and Kevin pushed the button for his floor.

"How long do you think it will take them to post the video?" asked Jean. "I want to start sharing it everywhere so people can definitively see that we're the better couple."

"They said a few hours, right? So it should be up by dinner, probably," said Jeremy.

"It was better last time, when we had practice right after we filmed the video," said Kevin. "There was less time to worry about it."

"What are you worried about?" asked Jean. "You just asked the questions. You didn't even have to answer anything."

"Yeah, but it was still a public appearance," said Kevin. The elevator door opened, and they filed out onto his floor. "There's always a chance I said something that could be misconstrued or taken out of context."

"You're careful," said Jeremy. "We all are. And this wasn't designed to be some kind of hard-hitting interview. It was just for fun."

"I know," said Kevin. "And it was fun. I just hate this window after recording an interview while you're waiting for it to air. Too much time to overthink it."

"Easy solution, stop thinking," said Jean.

Kevin grimaced. "I've been told that's not a healthy coping mechanism."

Jean rolled his eyes. "I said 'stop thinking,' not 'drink yourself into oblivion.' There's a difference."

"Not historically," said Kevin, sliding his room key into the slot and opening the door to his suite. Just past the entryway, he stopped abruptly, then relaxed almost immediately. "Fuck," he swore. "How did you two even get in here?"

Andrew and Neil were lounging on the bed, and Andrew was eating snacks from the minibar. "Don't worry about it," he said, popping an M&M into his mouth. He looked at Jean and Jeremy. "What are they doing here?"

"They were invited," said Kevin, "as you would have been if you weren't already here."

"So you were seen with them, in public?" asked Neil, raising an eyebrow. "Careful, or people will think you're taking sides."

"Seriously?" said Kevin, rolling his eyes. "You two left me at the studio with them. What was I supposed to do, call a cab?"

"You know," said Andrew, looking at Neil, "it could be useful to—"

"I am not going to spy for you," said Kevin, sitting down on the couch.

"Why not?" asked Neil. "Wait, are you spying for them?"

"No," said Jean sullenly. He plopped down on the chair and crossed his arms. "We asked."

"You asked," said Jeremy, sitting next to Kevin. "I, on the other hand, fully respect Kevin's decision to stay neutral."

"Thank you," said Kevin.

"This is why you're going to lose," said Neil, looking at Jean. He nodded towards Jeremy. "His heart's not in it."

Jean frowned. "His heart is fully in our marriage. That's why we're going to win."

Kevin kicked Jeremy. "Ouch," he said. Kevin just looked at him expectantly, and Jeremy sighed. He didn't think the kick was necessary, but he did appreciate the reminder to figure out how to end this nonsense at some point. "How do we win?" he asked, looking over and Andrew and Neil.

"You don't," said Andrew. "We do."

"We'll see about that," Jean muttered.

"Fine," said Jeremy. "How does one win this Andreil-Jerejean Rivalry?"

Neil looked at Andrew, who shrugged. "Um," said Neil. "We didn't really get that far."

"Okay, then, let's figure it out," said Jeremy. "Your rivalry ended when one of you finally admitted you were actually married, right?"

Neil nodded and gave Andrew a sappy smile.

Andrew pushed his face away and focused on Jeremy. "That won't work here, though," he said. "People already know we're friends."

"It could end when you finally admit we're the better couple," Neil suggested with a smirk.

"Or when you finally admit that we are the better couple," countered Jean.

"That will never work," said Kevin. "Neither of you will admit to anything. This rivalry will outlive all of us."

Jeremy sat up straight. "What if we ask other people?"

Andrew leaned forward. "Which other people?"

"The public," said Jeremy. "We can—we can do a Twitter poll."

"Who gets to tweet it out?" asked Andrew. "It has to be a neutral party. Otherwise, one of us will be at an unfair advantage."

Everyone looked at Kevin. "I really don't want to be involved in this."

"You already hosted the Newlywed Game," said Neil. "Arguably, you started this. Might as well finish it."

Kevin looked around the room for an ally and didn't find one. "Fine," he said. "Can I send out the poll right now and be done with it?"

Part of Jeremy wanted to say yes, but he knew that wouldn't fly with the others. And it wouldn't give Renee time to finish her merchandise designs. "Not right now," he said. "There needs to be a set time period, though. Maybe—is a month long enough?"

Andrew nodded slowly. "Five weeks. That will take us to our next Court practice weekend."

"Okay," said Jeremy. "And in the meantime . . ."

"You should each make public appearances," said Kevin. "To campaign, or whatever." He looked at Neil pointedly. "Maybe do some of that charity work your publicist keeps bugging you about."

"How many appearances?" asked Andrew.

"No cap," said Jeremy quickly. He and Jean were generally private people, too, but he was pretty sure they'd have an easier time dealing with an increased public presence than Neil and Andrew would, and he was willing to take any advantage he could get.

"But at least one a week," Kevin suggested. "One real appearance, not just being seen at the grocery store together or whatever."

"What qualifies as a 'real' appearance?" asked Neil suspiciously.

"Something planned in advance, approved by your publicists, with media present," said Kevin.

"Only one each week," Andrew bargained. "Unlimited informal appearances, but exactly one per week that meets Kevin's requirements."

Jeremy nodded. More than one scheduled appearance per week seemed over-the-top, anyway. "Starting when?"

"As soon as we get back," Jean suggested. "Four total appearances between now and our next Court weekend. And we'll do a fifth appearance together, here, before Kevin tweets out the poll."

"Deal," said Andrew.

Neil grinned. "This is going to be fun."

"Let's see if you're still having fun in five weeks when Jeremy and I are officially declared the victors," said Jean.

"That's cute," Neil said. "You think you have a chance."

"It's going to be a long five weeks," Kevin sighed.

Privately, Jeremy agreed with Kevin. But Jean seemed happy—for now, at least—and that was all he really cared about. Besides, this could be a nice excuse for them to go out and do some of the activities that had been languishing on their to-do list. "So, what do we get when we win?" he asked. "There's got to be something beyond bragging rights."

"I didn't know you had such a masochistic streak," said Andrew. "So eager to add a punishment for yourself when you lose."

"It doesn't have to be a punishment for the loser," said Jeremy. "It should be a reward for the winner."

"Those things aren't mutually exclusive," said Jean, glaring at Andrew.

"No, Jeremy's right," said Kevin. "This is a chance for all of you to get some good press. We should be focused on something positive for the winner, not negative for the loser."

"What do you suggest?" asked Andrew.

Kevin thought for a second. "We send out the poll after your last solo appearances, instead. The prize could be related to your joint appearance next Court weekend."

"That's it," said Neil. "Our joint appearance will be some kind of volunteer activity, and the winner gets to pick."

Jean nodded slowly. "That could work."

"We'd only have four weeks to campaign before the vote," said Andrew.

"Another plus," said Kevin.

"Are you scared you can't sway public opinion enough in only four weeks?" Jeremy challenged.

"Of course not," said Andrew. "We'd win right now."

"Yes, but you would not win after the Newlywed Game is posted this evening," said Jean.

"Four weeks is plenty of time," said Neil. "What other rules do we need to know about?"

"I should have veto power for the joint volunteer activity at the end," said Kevin. "In case the winner tries to pick something bad."

"Aren't volunteer activities inherently good?" asked Neil. "How could we come up with something veto-worthy?"

"You've got plenty of time. I'm sure you could come up with something," said Jean.

"The activity itself might not be bad, but the optics could be," said Kevin. "Like, if you picked a domestic violence nonprofit, it could look like you're insinuating someone's abusive."

"Oh," said Jeremy, once again struck by Kevin's media prowess. "I never would have thought of that."

"That's why you've got me, and I've got veto power," said Kevin. "Any other ground rules we should establish?"

"We don't announce our potential volunteer activities until there's a winner," suggested Neil. "That way, we'll know people are actually voting on us and not whichever cause they think is better."

"Agreed," said Jeremy.

"That's a good idea," said Kevin. "It also avoids the awkwardness of announcing the loser's selected organization and then not actually doing anything with them."

"Is that everything, then?" asked Jeremy. "Four weeks, one pre-arranged public appearance with press and publicist approval per week, Kevin sends out the poll after our last individual appearances, and the winner picks a volunteer activity for all of us to do in five weeks when we're back here for our next Court weekend."

"Works for us," said Neil.

"All right," said Kevin. "Let the rivalry begin."

"Oh, it already has," said Andrew with a glint in his eye.

"Bring it on, Minyard," said Jean.

Jeremy felt a rush of nervous excitement. He didn't know whether he and Jean would manage to win, but one thing was certain: it was going to be an interesting month.