Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

001

Good day to you wherever you are and if you are listening from off world, good eternal night to you.

If you're just joining us today, welcome! My name is Remington. Second in line to the manager's position at a McDonalds.

Welcome to the Elemental Nations! The land where the natives are weird and a creepy old man is out to bite you, dissect you or take over your body. Fuck you Oruchimaru.

But don't worry, we are here to keep you informed not only on all relevant news but if you are a self insert or one of those gamer dudes, the dos and don'ts of blending in.

And if you are the occasional elemental nations native listening in, congratulations! You found us. Please call our hotline 01-CHAKRA to receive your congratulatory prize. I can assure you, there are no mind-wipes involved. Now let's hear the news of the day.

In the hidden village of Konoha, where dreams are forged in the fires of determination and chakra flows like the wind, one individual has managed to capture the attention of both village residents and amused spectators alike. One of our beloved self-inserts, Mr. Mochi Takahashi, has valiantly attempted the seemingly insurmountable task of graduating from the Ninja Academy not once, not twice, but thrice!

As Mochi's third attempt comes to an end, Mochi, also known as 'Three-Time Academy Hopeful,' is once again left with a sigh of disappointment as he exits the Ninja Academy without the coveted headband. We now move to our correspondent, Speck who is live at the scene. Hello Speck!

Hello Remington! We are here live in front of Konoha's Ninja Academy where it all went down. This marks the third consecutive year that Mochi has encountered difficulties in mastering the fundamental techniques required for graduation.

This news would not be so shocking if Mochi was not a self-insert who lived for 22 years in Ohio. I'm standing here today with Mochi who has agreed to grant us an interview. Hello Mochi.

Hi Speck. Thank you for this opportunity today.

Would you like to share your thoughts on your academic journey?

Yeah well, you know, being a ninja is no piece of cake. I mean, I have a newfound respect for Uchiha Itachi, who graduated at the top of his class at, what, seven? I can barely get my kunai to stay in the target! Nobody said it was gonna be like this, you know. I thought Ninja body plus chakra equals success.

Iruka-sensei is like a ninja genius or something. I swear, his eyes are probably grading my failed jutsu attempts before I even finish them. It's like he has the Sharingan somewhere under his headband.

And don't even get me started on Naruto – he may have been a troublemaker, but at least he graduated! Respect, man.

It's certainly not an easy feat, Mochi. But tell us, how do you plan to bounce back from this?"

Well, they say the fourth time's the charm, right? Naruto succeeded on the fourth try so I've decided to give it one more shot. If I can survive academy life – and my mom's disapproving glares – surely I can graduate eventually.

Thank you Mochi. Back to you Remington.

And there we have it. Mochi the Three-Time Academy Hopeful. Konoha might be laughing, but it was also cheering for Mochi's perseverance, because after all, even in a world of shinobi, sometimes it's the struggling heroes that capture our hearts.

And so, dear listeners, as Mochi Takahashi embarks on yet another adventure in the Academy of Hard Knocks, we can't help but root for his unconventional journey. For in the ninja world, where determination and willpower define one's true strength, Mochi's spirit shines as bright as any Sharingan or Rasengan.

Stay tuned as we bring you more updates.

Up next: Gamer burnout!

A/N: Thank you for giving my fic a chance. I know this is quite the unconventional idea but I'd like to see where I can take it.

Ninja watch is my attempt at chronicling the rich world of Naruto in the form of a radio show. Ninja watch updates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Do leave a review and tell me what you think. Don't forget to favorite or follow. Thank you.