I have ADHD and wrote over 100k over the course of several months. I've edited and compiled them all, but my brain skips things it doesn't want to redo (like mostly unchanged episodes). I've tried my best, but this will be more snippet-style. I'll use [square brackets] to help summarize parts that need the info. If I don't explicitly write it here, assume it goes more or less the same as in the show.
Work notes:
There will be no systemic homophobia in my good non-Christian fantasy world dammit
Things I'm doing/taking into account for my Zuko characterizations THAT ARE CANON, and not me just making him OP just because I like it:
-Zuko's phenomenal hearing, as stated by Iroh in the show.
-Zuko taking on two firebenders in a spar in the very first episode AND WINNING.
-Zuko beating Zhao in his canon Agni Kai, where Iroh as the Dragon of the West recognizes and acknowledges that Zhao is a firebending Master.
-Literally every single thing he does while breaking into and out of Fire Nation prisons and strongholds.
-Zuko BREAKING CHAINS WITH HIS FOOT that one time Iroh was caught by earthbenders.
-The canon breath-holding while swimming into the fucking Northern Water Tribe.
-He managed to fucking firebend, in polar temperatures, WHILE UNDER. WATER.
-Zuko's canon basassery with swords, even while presumably being months out of practice when he fights with Jet in Ba Sing Se in canon.
-Zuko shooting fire from his feet when he was held captive.
Things that are only implied—but heavily so:
-Zuko's Thing With Animals
Things I will be adding that aren't canon because it's stupid that they aren't canon:
-Zuko being good with herbs because his mom was good enough with herbs to kill the fucking Fire Lord.
"I don't want to rest or spar and I don't need any calming tea!"
Jet sighed and put away his honing stones as he ran out of patience. He gave no more warning than the sound of his boots on the metal of the ship before he jumped down next to Zuko and swung.
To his credit, the prince dodged away. "What's wrong with you?!"
"Your shitty attitude is what's wrong!"
"I said I didn't want to spar!"
Jet tapped his shoulder with one of his blades, cocky grin firmly in place. "This is probably really gonna suck for you, then."
Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a controlled breath that didn't look very controlled at all as it steamed in the cold air. No, wait, that was actual steam. "Run," he said.
And that's my cue.
Crewmen scattered out of the way like dice thrown across a betting table. Captain Jee seemed to be developing a sudden headache, he really should look into getting some treatment for his recurring migraines. General Iroh merely sighed over a cup of calming tea as they ran past.
Jet dropped down the ladder below-deck with Zuko right on top of him. He hooked one of his shuang-gou on a rung and hung close as Zuko rushed past, grinning as the prince fell.
It didn't last as he felt a harsh yank on his ankle and looked down, letting go of his blade to avoid a fireball and dropping them both down the rest of the way. He rolled with the fall, tested his leg to make sure it'd hold—it did—and took off, Zuko hot on his heels in every sense yes, yes, you're very mad and the steam breath is very impressive, I am very super impressed right now.
He caught the corner with the hook of his sword to make the turn. But Zuko didn't miss a beat, kicking off the far wall with one of his stupid ridiculous ninja moves what the fuck, Prince? to maintain momentum, the sound like an entire weapons rack falling over.
Zuko was fast and flexible but the armor he was wearing kept things more fair and even than they might otherwise have been.
Hard to ninja into a vent and sneak out the other end of the ship in full armor.
Not that Zuko hadn't tried exactly that once just to prove he could and Stop laughing and get me out of this vent!
Good times.
Engineering meant plenty of convenient pipes to maneuver with, and Jet hooked his shuang-gou from one and swung up as Zuko shot past him. He dropped back down and began running back the way he'd come as another grand clamor sounded behind him. He didn't really trust his lead enough to bother looking back.
He made the corner a second time. Set his sword as a garrote between the walls, and scurried up the ladder, grabbing his first shuang-gou from the rung he'd been forced to leave it at before. Zuko cursed virulently from somewhere below and Jet made the executive decision to skip the main deck and head for the observation deck. It had nothing at all to do with the metal clap of Zuko racing up the ladder behind him, really.
Zuko's feet barely touched the rungs as he gave chase. Fuckin' ninja. Was he a firebender or an airbender?
Jet made it to the top, looked down at Zuko hot on his heels, beamed at him with a jaunty wave—and shut the hatch in his face. He swore he felt the temperature rise before he got outside, heading for the telescope. He was just being practical, really. Because after brooding and then bitching, Zuko's next step was always manning the telescope. He'd just saved them all a bit of time.
Honestly, it had nothing to do with riling the prince up until he lost the ability to speak. That didn't sound at all like something Jet would do. Slander.
His feet abruptly lost traction and he only had an instant for the Polar waters, sea spray, ICE, FUCK! to crash through his mind before he slid through the rails of the observation deck that hadn't been de-iced yet whose fucking idea was that?
He turned, reached out, tried to hook with his shuang-gou—
Missed.
It took two, breathless, weightless heartbeats of oh fuck —
"Got you!"
His sword caught something, hooked, jerked —
Jet groaned as his back hit the side of the Wani's lookout tower. Ah! That's gonna fucking bruise, I just know it. Wrenched shoulders, so much fun.
When he looked up, he caught sight of Zuko with his other shuang-gou, the hooks linked. He smiled his best smile at the firebender. "Tie?" he asked.
Prince Zuko's smirk should have been outlawed on the field of battle. Cheating. Absolutely cheating.
X
Wrenched shoulders were not fun, actually. They really rather sucked. They sucked a lot.
They were even less fun when done out on the cold deck because Jet may have been an asshole but he was a stubborn asshole, and also Doctor Shu was taking it out on his ass when realigning his shoulder.
It was almost like the good doctor had a grudge against him or something.
But stubborn assholery did pay off from time to time, especially when dealing with equally stubborn Fire Nation royalty. It paid off now with Jet being up on deck to see the beam of light that split the air in the distance.
Spirit shenanigans. It was always something on this ship. But Zuko thought it was worth checking. (But, then, Zuko thought everything was worth checking. Spirit shenanigans. )
Jet snorted. "With our luck, it's probably—what's the opposite of the Avatar?—whatever that is."
"'Our'?"
"Well, you're the lead on this. By default, your luck is my luck."
"My condolences," Zuko said, dry and, the sad part, completely genuine.
Sorry you're on this raft with me, that expression said, because I'm about to get us sunk.
Well, it wasn't like Jet hadn't literally signed up for this. He'd probably lost his right to complain almost-three-years ago now.
Not that that stopped him from complaining. It just made it recreational .
He groaned as his shoulder and arm were bound—tight, way tight, doc, ow, what the fuck—and rotated it to check his range of motion—to the incredulous angry huff of the doctor at his back.
"So what are we doing?"
" We aren't doing anything. I'm going to investigate."
"Alone? I think the fuck not."
"You think you're going to be much of a bodyguard one-handed?"
There were so many 'one hand tied behind my back' innuendos he could make right now. So many. " How do you think you're gonna stop me?"
Zuko tilted his head in apparent thought. Then turned to the two crewmen on deck. "Someone tie him to an infirmary berth, and someone else, sit on him."
Jet squawked as the good doctor's hold on his shoulder tightened.
Zuko's command over the crew was tenuous on the best days. Today, they suddenly decided he was apparently worth listening to. Or they were just really, really enthusiastic about the opportunity to tie Jet to an infirmary berth.
It was like they had a grudge against him or something.
X
It took approximately thirty-seven seconds after he'd been put in the infirmary for Jet to grow bored of being in the infirmary. A new record for his patience, truly.
He usually only lasted fifteen seconds.
Zuko entered, closed the door, turned around, and stopped. It took one, slow blink for him to take in the situation. Another for him to raise his hand and press his fingers to his forehead. A third to sigh.
"…What are you doing in my room?" he asked. But his voice was more aggrieved than angry, and that was about as close to rolling out the welcome mats as Zuko ever got.
"So apparently I'm squirmy or something. Very hard to tie to an infirmary berth. But I promised to be good and lay down if they just let me go."
Even without uttering a single word or sound, Zuko's doubt was very loud thank you please!
Jet grinned. "I dunno if they actually believed me or just decided they didn't care if I was your problem so long as I wasn't their problem."
"I'm going to make me their problem," the prince muttered.
He was genuinely curious. "You think you can be a bigger problem than me?"
Zuko actually looked like he was considering it. "I don't know," he eventually answered. "But I bet I can be louder."
Well, he had him, there.
X
"You what?" Jet screeched. (Jee flinched, but no, fuck him, he could just deal with Jet right now. And for the next three weeks until they got back to the Fire Nation. And also forever after fuck him. )
"I found the Avatar," Zuko replied, voice soft like that wasn't the accomplishment of the fucking century. Literally.
"You found the fucking Avatar! " Jet echoed back, with the excitement that statement actually deserved. And then, "I was down for two hours. And you found the fucking Avatar?! Three years, Fire Prince! You couldn't have waited two hours for me to be there?!"
"Don't get wrenched shoulders," Zuko reposted, like the little shit he was.
"Yeah, fuck you," was Jet's succinct response to that little tidbit of life advice.
Zuko's lips twitched in that way that meant he was desperately trying not to smile. Stupid. If Jet was in his place, they'd be able to hear his cackling from here to Ba Sing Se. Stupid royal demeanor.
[Aang chase]
Zuko jumped off the observation deck after the Avatar because that wasn't at all risky or stupid. Admittedly, maybe slightly less stupid for insane ninja princes used to throwing themselves off high places as though pesky things like limbs and gravity were trifling concerns—but you know what? No. Jet had a wrenched shoulder and today sucked and he was in a pissy mood and Zuko could just fucking live with an additional tick in his Near Death Counts column see if Jet cared.
X [end of the episode]
"Look on the bright side: the Fire Nation's greatest threat is merely a child."
"Well!" Jet said, forcefully cheerful as he pulled himself out from the snow. "That makes me feel better! That's, let's see. One village terrified, one ship three quarters wrecked, seven hours of digging us from the ice, six crewmen overboard dealing with hypothermia and doused fires—"
"And a sparrowkeet in an evergreen," Zuko muttered.
Jet's grin turned luminescent. "Good thing he was only a kid, huh, General Iroh?"
"Former General Iroh, please. I am retired."
X
Everyone waited for Zuko's ruling.
A promise had been made, parole had been given, terms had been broken.
There was a decision to be made here, and all of them held their breaths for it.
And Zuko made it as he turned away from the railing. "Get this ship moving! We're going after the Avatar!"
X