Simpsons Bible Stories The Simpsons fall asleep in church after Reverend Lovejoy has to lecture everyone because Homer donated a chocolate bunny for Easter to the money tray since it was erm, Easter...
Plot
One Easter weekend the Simpsons are in church. It is a very hot Easter...
"Now everyone give to the charity plate as if the person next to you was watching." said Lovejoy.
People groan and donate money.
The Simpsons except Hugo (Oscar was bribed with extra pudding last night to hood wink the Simpsons into leaving him at home.) are exhausted and sweltering as they fan themselves with liturgical books.
"Boy this is one hot Easter..." Homer groaned sweating as he tried to cool himself.
"Even that praying mantis is starting to lose it." said Bart.
A praying mantis, yes this actually is in the canon episode... a praying mantis was exhausted from the heat trying to pray before giving up and leaving.
Oscar laughed while fanning himself to cool down.
However Homer gave a chocolate bunny to the money tray, because it's Easter.
"Homer!" Marge tells him off for offering the money tray a chocolate bunny.
"What? It is Easter after all!" said Homer.
"Stop eating my people!" The white chocolate rabbit whined as he slowly melted in the heat.
"Shut up not even real chocolate!" said Homer.
"Who offered this heathen artefact?!" Lovejoy yelled when he saw the chocolate bunny on the money tray.
"Relax... I found it in a dumpster..." said Homer. Eeeeeeew!
In a cut away Homer found a chocolate bunny in a dumpster.
"These weird little clown things were eating it." He obviously found more of Oscar's Dumpster Clownjas in his obsession with re-enacting Killer Klowns from outer space...
(Clownjas jabbering)
Bart rolled his eyes as he didn't want to know about Oscar's nonsense again.
"Thanks Helen." said Tim when his wife took back the money tray and handed it too him. However he saw the chocolate bunny...
Lovejoy is furious at this pagan display and decides to bore everyone with a lecture from the bible about what Easter is really all about.
Everyone groaned.
Lovejoy starts reading Genesis.
"In the beginning..."
"Uh Reverend I can't here you over these fans!" Ned asked.
"Fine..." said Lovejoy and he switched off the fans.
Everyone groaned even more.
Marge surprisingly is the first to nod off.
Genesis
She dreams about Adam and Eve, with Homer and Marge playing those roles respectively. And Ned as God.
Homer as Adam asks for a woman.
"Okilly dokilly!" Ned as God makes Marge exist.
"Hi! I'm Adam! You must be Eve!" said Homer as Adam.
"I suppose so." said Eve.
"God this is a wonderful garden!" said Marge.
"Why thank you humans!" said Ned as God.
"Yeah you really went all out God!" said Homer.
"Oh stop! You're making me blush!" Ned as God replied happily.
"God can we have some magazines?" Marge asked. Then he gives them magazines to occupy themselves.
"Here you go." He handed over magazines that were tiny to him but normal sized to Adam and Eve.
"Thanks God." said Adam and Eve.
"Now I have to skedaddle." said Ned as God. Only Toons skedaddle.
One morning later.
Eve woke up.
"This is a lovely place." She thought.
"Heads up!" called Adam.
He dived from a waterfall.
"Adam no!" Eve gasped.
He landed on a hard rock that should have fractured his spine.
"Are you alright?" Eve asked.
"Of course! There's no pain or death in Eden!" said Adam completely unharmed.
"Hi diddly ho my creations!" said Ned as God.
"Hi God!" said Adam and Eve.
But God warns of the forbidden tree.
"Now I hate to be a Bossy Betty."
"He loves being a Betty..." said a talking sheep.
"You can eat from any tree but not this one." He points to a glowing tree. "I'm sorry but I forbid you from eating from it." He pointed at a particular large tree standing out among the others.
A talking pig lets Homer have some of his bacon. He literally takes bacon rashers from the pig's stomach. However it doesn't harm the pig as he smiles happy to feed his friend bacon.
Oscar was in the garden of Eden naked.
"I am naked! Woohoo!" He cheered.
Adam rolled his eyes.
However... because Adam and Eve were nude and Oz a little perv...
Oscar jumped backwards, bleeding from both nostrils, nearly passing out. He lay, twitching, on the floor for a minute, before recovering.
"I have no idea how nose bleeds equals aroused..."
Oz I am not writing that you have a woody/stiffy!
He then laid down some interesting facts.
"Eve wasn't Adam's first wife or even the first woman. A few weeks ago God created Lilith for Adam." said Oscar.
"Thanks God." said Adam a few weeks ago.
Okilly dokilly!" said God.
"And apparently he used one of Adam's ribs." said Oscar.
"Ow! Pretty sure I need all of those God..." said Adam.
"You have plenty to spare..." said Ned as God.
But Lilith disobeyed God and Adam and ran out of the garden with the arch angel Samael.
Homer as Adam screamed as Lilith left the garden for the lifeless, grim wasteland outside.
"Oh fiddly dee..." Ned as God sighed.
They made unholy love and would not return when God told them to. So he banished them to Hell.
"You are both so banished!" Ned as God yelled.
"God also created dinosaurs to live in Eden." said Oscar.
There were dinosaurs roaming around Eden. Some growling and roaring.
"Yeah but they were groovy dinosaurs and didn't eat each other." said Homer as Adam.
By groovy I assumed they were funky disco dinosaurs...
Adam was talking to the talking pig and accepting any magically cooked parts of him he gladly offered as death and pain doesn't exist in Eden.
"Some crispy rashers of bacon chum?" asked the posh pig.
"Thank you Porky!" Homer took the rashers of bacon and ate them.
"Sir I'm not Porky Pig..." said the talking pig.
"I think the leaf covering my doodle is poison ivy..." Oscar whined as the supposed Poison Ivy started to burn him.
Adam sighed frustrated.
"Can you like, give Eve and I some you know... alone time..." Adam groaned.
"Eeeeeugh!" Oscar groaned.
Adam and Eve are naming the animals. There is a groundhog.
"Hmmmmm, I think we'll name this a groundhog." said Marge as Eve.
"Nope, already named it. I call it, land monster..." said Homer.
"Well, what do you call that then?" Marge as Eve asked Homer While pointing to Snake as a snake.
"Branch Monster." said Homer.
"Please... call me Snake..." said Snake as the serpent.
"Branch monster..." said Homer as Adam.
Snake as the Serpent sighed frustrated.
Could be worse Snake. In Family Guy's adaptation Peter kept calling everything Casey...
"That green hopping thing?" Lois as Eve asked.
"Casey..." said Peter as Adam.
But back to the Simpsons adaptation.
The story continues as expected with Snake as the snake. He kept tempting them to eat the forbidden fruit.
Marge wasn't sure. "God told us we mustn't eat from that tree."
"Quite so, ma'am. I recall one of the dinosaurs had a bite. And, well, that was the last of- Egad!" The pig gasped as Homer as Adam ate the forbidden apple.
"Adam don't eat that!" Eve warned him.
"Gee your pretty uptight for someone created from one of my own ribs... a little apple will mellow you out." said Homer as Adam.
Eve tried an apple. Noooooo!
"Well they do taste nice. Hey these would go great with that pie I made!" said Eve.
"I LIKE PIE!" Billy yelled. It had to be done!
However when caught, Homer blames everything on Marge and only she gets flicked out of the Garden of Eden.
"Who ate these apples that I forbade you from eating?!" Ned as God yelled.
"She did!" Homer as Adam yelled blaming Marge.
Marge as Eve frowned at him.
"Get out!" God banished Eve.
However Homer gets lonely and feels guilty from blaming Marge.
"Homer how about some ribs today?" The talking pig asked offering his own ribs to Homer.
"I'm sorry Mr Pig but I'm not hungry. Marge came from one of my ribs..." said Homer.
Mr Pig felt bad for Homer.
"Eden just isn't the same. Not even with the butterscotch pond and the pornograhic magazine bush..." said Homer.
"A what bush?! Certainly diddly iddly not in my backyard!" Ned as God boomed and a lightning strike destroyed the Pornographic magazine bush.
Homer groaned.
"Dude! You're bringing down the mood! Even the cherubs are miserable..." said the Disney unicorn foal voiced by Tress McNeill.
The cherubs were of course miserable.
Homer winced wondering why there was a cartoony unicorn foal Voiced by Tress McNeill.
"Well I'm even more bummed out now God destroyed the pornography bush." said Homer miserable.
Oscar headed towards the butterscotch pond.
"Oh why didn't I stick up for Eve..." Homer as Adam moaned.
Kersplaaaaat! There was a cartoony splat as Oscar tumbled into the butterscotch pond.
This didn't catch Adam's attention as he was depressed about blaming Eve for eating the apples.
"Nnnnnnngh! Unnnnnngh! Um guys. I'm kinda stuck in the butterscotch pond..." said Oscar stuck up to his waist in gooey butterscotch. He struggled and squirmed.
Homer as Adam and the cartoon Tress McNeill unicorn rolled their eyes.
Then Peter Gabriel was there rocking out. (His band is called Genesis.)
"Woooooo!" Oscar still stuck in the gooey butterscotch pond cheered.
With a little help from a young unicorn with a Disney voice they help Marge sneak back in. "(Tress McNeille doing her Young rough bully boy voice. Ie Shelby.) One tunnel coming up!" However the unicorn dies.
"Oh we hire Tress for the episode and her character dies... just great..." Oscar sighed,
Then Ned as God finds out and has both of them kicked out.
Marge wakes up to Reverend Lovejoy explaining that God would never forgive Man for that incident. Um he did eventually, but we're still banned from the Garden of Eden.
Plot 2
"Okay for some reason the anthology stories are our dreams..." said Lisa.
"Cooool! I hope Freddy Krueger is in the next story..." said Oscar.
Bart frowned at him annoyed by his ridiculous comments.
Next is Homer's dream.
King Solomon the Wise
He dreams he's King Solomon the wise.
Lenny and Carl are arguing over a pie.
"Your majesty, these two men have been arguing over this pie." said Wiggum. The pie was cherry flavoured. Yum!
"I LIKE PIE!" Billy yelled.
He cuts a pie in two halves but eats them and has Lenny and Carl executed.
"I shall split the pie in half and you each get, death."
"Death? We don't want it..." said Lenny.
King Solomon face palmed.
"Next is the case of Jesus Christ vs Checker Chariot." said Wiggum.
Jesus had hurt his neck and was wearing a brace. He was suing a chariot driver.
"So Jesus. You had an accident and sprained your neck. And you say that Checker Chariot is to blame?" asked King Solomon.
"Yes." said Jesus.
"Get over it!" King Solomon yelled.
Jesus frowned.
"Next case please." said King Solomon.
Next was the case of Solomon's Key...
"No Oz..." Bart groaned.
However his dream isn't very long as Bart bites him because he was laying on him.
"Ow! Who bit me!?" Homer whined.
Next is Lisa's dream. It is set in the Exodus. With a Milhouse as Moses and Lisa and Bart as slaves.
Exodus
In an odd portrayal of the Hebrew slaves of Egypt. They were actually allowed time off. A playground to play in. Cue the 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade playing on a playground.
"Tag you're it!"
"Hello operator, give me number nine!" Girls sang while playing hopscotch.
The band Exodus was there playing music or rocking out. Hmmmm... there's quite a few bands named after chapters of the bible...
"Yeah there is..." Bart as a slave groaned exasperated.
However when the slave master sent them back to work they toiled and pulled heavy rocks while Willie whipped them.
"Back to work!" said Skinner as the evil pharaoh.
The kid slaves groaned.
"Come on, ya wee Israelites." said Willie as the slave master.
"Forced labour blows..." Nelson as a slave groaned. "Ow!" He got whipped.
"Ach! Work harder!" said Willie.
The slaves cried when whipped.
Lisa and Moses are toiling and doing exhausting work.
"Please you must help us Moses, didn't God send you to free us?" Lisa asked Milhouse.
"Um probably..." said Milhouse.
The pharaoh arrived again.
"On your knees ya mugs! It's the pharaoh!" Willie yelled.
The kids prostrated before the pharaoh on their knees.
"I'm not a mug! I'm a tea cup!" said slave Oscar.
"Silence!" Eddie the cop as a guard whipped him.
"Excellent work Slave Driver Willie." said Skinner.
"Aw shucks..." Willie blushed feeling modest.
...
Bart is arrested for graffitiing a statue. Principal Skinner is the evil Pharaoh, Rameses gasped.
Bart wrote on his statue "Butt Head."
Beavis and Butthead laughed.
"Who defaced this statue?!" Skinner demanded to know who wrote Butt head on his statue.
None of the kids would say anything.
"It was Bart! I saw him do it!" said God as a burning bush.
Bart is arrested.
"No! The bush set me up!" Bart cried.
George Bush gasped and shook his head pleading.
Lisa grimaced exasperated.
"And you call this a pyramid?!" Pharaoh Skinner yelled.
"But Sire, I built it to your instructions." Chuckie pleaded.
He had built the pyramid upside down so it was standing on its point somehow.
Oscar as a slave laughed hysterically.
"Moses didn't that burning bush also tell you to demand the pharaoh set us free?" Lisa asked Milhouse as Moses.
"That was your bought of thrush..." said Oscar being crude.
"Eeeeeew!" Lisa groaned.
"Oz can you not be crude!" Slave Jurkle groaned.
"How is that wimp supposed to save us..." said Nelson.
"My staff can turn into a snake so watch it!" said Milhouse as Moses.
"His staff totally does that." said Oscar.
"Prove it!" said Nelson.
Moses turned his staff into a cobra. The cobra hissed.
"Whooaaa!" said the kids.
...
Milhouse asks half heartedly for Skinner to let his people go, however he's punished with being made to work on the pyramid.
"Let my people go." said Milhouse like a wimp.
"Let your people go?! I think I'd rather have you join the slaves!" said Skinner.
And so Milhouse became a slave.
"Nice going Moses..." Lisa sighed.
Slave Oscar complains that the Rugrats version was more fun.
"You're only saying that because they wore diapers..." Bart groans.
"No I'm not, Chuckie..." Oscar replied.
"Stop calling me that!" Bart yells.
Oscar winced from him yelling. He was right though. Oz did like the Rugrats version better because all the characters except Angelica wore diapers.
"Oz the Israelites are not wearing diapers..." Lisa sighed.
Meanwhile Lisa and Milhouse try to make the plagues happen.
"I don't think we can turn water into blood, but I've got some frogs." Lisa explained.
"I am the angel of death!" Oscar yelled.
"No you're not..." Lisa sighed.
Unfortunately the sort of skipped out on the plagues, especially the scary ones like the angel of death!
Elsewhere.
Homer as a scribe walked about writing on a papyrus. He noticed the sun rose when he walked forward then sank when he retreated.
"Sun rise, sun set, sun rise, sun set, sun rise-"
The sun fell and smashed.
Homer screamed.
"Look what you've done!" Ra the sun god yelled at him.
...
They drop the frogs into the Royal tent. However the Pharaoh and his court eat them.
"You're not supposed to eat them! That was one of God's plagues!" Lisa yelled.
"Ra would never send plagues! Seize them!" Skinner demands.
"Why is there cherryade in the water? Oh Ra! That's blood!" Egypt Krabappel gasped.
Lisa and Milhouse are trapped in the pyramid.
"Think Milhouse! There must be a secret switch somewhere." Lisa looked around the burial chamber.
Milhouse finds an ominously labled with hieroglyphs switch. He pushes it and exactly as the hieroglyphs warned spikes come out of the walls and the walls close in on them...
"Milhouse!" Lisa cries. However the spikes get dented on each other as they weren't placed properly.
"Good thing this trap wasn't built properly..." Lisa sighed. They escape the trap and the pyramid.
"Good thing you're pretty..." said Milhouse.
"Eeeeeew..." Lisa groaned.
Outside.
Anubis the jackal headed god was standing guard outside the pharaoh's tent.
Oscar threw a bone.
Anubis ran after it barking.
Oscar laughed.
In the tent Skinner was dictating notes to his scribes.
"Okay repeat after me. Eye, Arm, swirly thing, snake with horns, guy doing the Egyptian dance."
"Yeah our alphabet is crazy..." said a scribe.
"Rameses!" Agnes as the pharaoh's mother yelled.
"Yes mother..." Skinner as the pharaoh sighed.
"You're a terrible ruler! You call this a kingdom?!" said Agnes.
...
The next day Willie is trying out a new whip on the slaves that can whip multiple slaves at once.
The children cry as they are whipped.
"Heh! That's the new omni-lash, boys. Just look at that snapback." said Willie as the slave master.
"Yeah, it's sweet." said Wiggum as a soldier.
"Omnislash! Fire materia!" Cloud from Final Fantasy VII yelled.
Jurkle grimaced exasperated.
This time Oscar stood up for the slaves.
"I swear if you strike me again with that whip and I will go Old Testament on your ass!"
He got thrown in the prison with Bart.
"Oh great... I have to do time with you..." Bart sighed.
"Get bent..." Oscar snapped.
Elsewhere Lisa helps Moses plan how to escape with the slaves.
That night they free Bart and Oscar from prison. Slaves plot to escape when all of the toilets are flushed at once, which parts the Red Sea. They all cross the dry sea bed.
Some of the slaves, portrayed by second, third and fourth graders were wearing diapers because Oscar was obsessed by the Rugrats version of the story of Exodus.
"Oz enough! There's no diaper wearing slaves in our adaptation of the Exodus!" Bart groaned.
However when Skinner finds out they're escaping he sends his soldiers across. However the sea comes back together and drowns them.
"Now what?" Milhouse asks, not knowing what to do with their new found freedom.
"Yeah, Lisa, we're out of Egypt. So, what's next for the Israelites? Land of milk and honey?" Jurkle asked.
"We must cross the desert until we find somewhere to live. Looks like we have a long journey ahead of us people." Lisa explained. Everyone groans.
"Hey look! Mana!" Bart remarks. They head towards the mana.
Plot 3
Lisa wakes up from her dream to find everyone sleeping. She goes back to sleep. Bart is using Marge's hair as a pillow.
The chocolate Easter bunny had long since melted while Lovejoy was still speaking.
"Oh the horrible, horrible unseasonable warmth!" The chocolate Easter bunny yelled in a voice similar to Jerry Lewis. He dropped melted chocolate everywhere.
In Bart's dream.
David and Goliath II
Bart dreams he is King David of David and Goliath. However his story is set after David has already killed Goliath. Bart as David is being waited on by his maids and servants and entertained by Krusty.
"Now, I'm not saying Jezebel's easy, but before she moved to Sodom, it was known for its pottery! Hooahahaha!" said Krusty.
Bart as King David wasn't impressed and frowned.
The artist Michelangelo was there, portrayed by Michelangelo the turtle from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
"Like I'm gonna carve a bodacious statue man! Cowabunga!"
Bart as King David grimaced exasperated.
Then Grampa Simpson as David's friend arrives dying with a knife in his back.
"Oooooooh!" Grampa is dying.
David is concerned for his friend who is played by Grampa. "Methuselah! My oldest friend!"
"Hi David! I'm Grampa!" said Grampa.
Bart as King David winced exasperated.
Biblical Oscar laughed hysterically.
Then Abe sort of died in King David's arms.
"Who did this to you?!" Bart asks.
"Goliaaaath..." Grampa groans with his dying breath.
"But I killed Goliath!" Bart explains.
"I meant his son... Goliath II..." Grampa adds before dying again.
"Noooooooo!" Bart as David cries. "That's it Goliath II! This time it's personal!"
There is then a cool title gag.
Then Bart as David arrives at an arena where he agreed to fight Goliath II.
"I really should have rescheduled. I have hundreds of psalms to write." said Bart as King David.
Oscar made chicken sounds while acting like a chicken.
Bart as King David growled and headed into the arena.
"Also Oz Michelangelo has to carve a statue of me." said King David.
"Cowabunga!" Michelangelo, the turtle was carving a statue.
"Not that Michelangelo!" Biblical Lisa yelled annoyed.
Oscar acted like a chicken and wagged his arms.
King David sighed.
However Santa's Little Helper guest stars as a talking dog.
"Hi there Davy... You look like you've put on a little weight there Davy..." says the talking dog.
"Why is there a talking dog...?" Bart asks the camera. Um, I don't know...
"That's blasphemy!" said Ned angrily.
"THIS IS MADNESS!" Oscar yelled.
"THIS IS SODOM AND GOMORRAAAAAAH!" Leonidas yelled.
Bart as King David grimaced exasperated.
"Also I'm in this story as Cain, the first murderer. For some reason." said Oscar as Cain.
Goliath II then arrives. He is played by a giant Nelson.
"You killed my friend!" Bart as David yelled.
"Well you killed my Dad!" Goliath II replied.
"Um... Why am I the hero again?" Bart asks the camera. "Never mind, I'll finish you off once I find a nice rock..." however the arena has no rocks laying about. "Uh... can we reschedule?" Bart asks sheepishly.
Goliath II grabs him. And slammed David into the ground repeatedly.
Bart then grabs his knife and cuts off some of his hair.
"Ah ha! I have cut your hair! Now you're powerless!" Bart declares.
"That's Samson you idiot!" Nelson replied. The giant bully put Bart in his slingshot and swung him really hard and he flew away. Nelson then found King David/Bart's crown on the floor. "I proclaim myself as your new king!"
Everyone does Nelson laughs.
...
Bart/David lands in a big mud puddle and gets covered in mud! Hehehe! Mud!
"I hope this doesn't get into the bible..." Bart groans as he gets up.
A Ralph shepherd passes by.
"You're my hero!" said Ralph.
"I'm nobody's hero Kid. Find yourself a new hero..." Bart sighed.
"Ok." Ralph went into town to fight Goliath II apparently. However he soon died...
"Nooooooo!" Bart as David cried. "This time it really is personal."
There is a musical segment of Bart working out with Ralph's sheep. Eventually he's ready to fight Nelson again.
Oh and the montage was funny as it involved him weight lifting with sheep. And arm wrestling a sheep, he won but the annoyed sheep bit him on the nose.
"Ow!" Bart as King David whined.
...
Bart arrives at Goliath II's tower. He uses a grappling hook to get up there but accidentally kills one the guards and drags them from their balcony.
"Whoops..." Bart gulps brushing the dead guard aside.
Then a whale skeleton nearly crushes him. Inside is a human skeleton.
"Noooooo! Jonah!" Bart cries. Then two giant corn cob holders fall. "Well that's handy..." Bart climbs up the tower with the corn cob holders.
In his chambers Nelson remarks he has killed several giant slayers today. Including some guy called Jack.
"I deserve a cigar!" Nelson as Goliath II lights a cigar and smokes it.
"Don't you know smoking is bad for you?!" Bart explains eager for another battle.
However Nelson grabs him. "I just ate, but I could do with a snack."
Bart grabs a giant sized lamp. "Fine, hope I don't give you heartburn!" He throws the lamp down Nelson's throat somehow and he explodes along with the tower. Bart lands burnt in front of all of his people.
"People! I've slain the evil tyrant Goliath II and Return as your king! I didn't see a body, but I'm sure there's no way he could have survived that blast.
However an angry giant Nelson bursts out of the tower, badly burnt and growling while A night on bald mountain plays.
"Ay carumba!" Bart yells. However Nelson dies as someone stabs him in the back of his head with a gravestone. That someone is Ralph the shepherd.
"Ralph! You're alive?!" Bart asks.
"Of course silly!" Ralph replies. He collects Bart's crown and puts it back on Bart's head. "All hail king David! My hero!"
Everyone cheers David repeatedly.
"Aw shucks!" Bart as King David blushes.
They all celebrate and Oscar gets arrested for Homicide.
"You're under arrest. For homicide." said Lou handcuffing him.
Oscar groaned.
"I love you! Because you kill people!" said Ralph.
Oscar smirked. "I love you too Ralph."
Bart as King David winced.
...
Bart wakes up to find everyone in church has gone home. Even Reverend Lovejoy. Bart urgently wakes his family up.
"Oh my! We slept through church! How embarrassing..." Marge gasped as they got up and left.
"Don't worry... It's not like it's the end of the world..." Homer remarked.
However it was... Outside it was raining fire and four horse men of the apocalypse were riding around of their skeleton horses.
"It's the rapture! And I never knew true love." Lisa lamented.
Ralph glared at her.
"That was not true love!" Lisa yelled.
"I never used those pizza coupons!" Homer cried.
"Oh no! It's the apocalypse!" Marge lamented. "Bart are you wearing clean underwear?"
Bart gulps. "Not anymore!"
"Eeeeeeeeeeew!" Oscar yelled. "Poopy diaper baby!" He mocked Bart. "Does baby need to wear a diapee?!"
"Oscar! Stop teasing him!" Marge told Oscar off.
"Why is Oscar here anyway? And where's Hugo?" Lisa asked.
"He traded his dessert so I'd help him stay home from church. Homer seemed to agree with it." said Oscar.
"Anything to stop your shenanigans insisting Hugo is canon!" said Homer.
"Hugo is canon! And hes gone to limbo! Oscar yelled.
The Flanders are then raptured and taken to heaven.
Lisa, and only Lisa is then raptured. However Homer grabs her.
"Hey we either all go to heaven, or none of us do!" Homer tells her.
Lisa grumbles and mutters.
A hole into Hell opens up with a staircase leading down.
"Ooooooh! I smell barbecue!" Homer declares. He eagerly runs down into Hell. The family shrug their shoulders and follow him. "Hehehehe! Look at this guy!"
Suddenly Homer screams in agony. "Aaaaaaaagh! These hotdogs are really hot! And aaaaagh! There's pineapple in the coleslaw! This truly is Hell!" Homer screams again. "Aaaaaaaaagh! German potato salad!"
"Oh come on Homer! It's not that bad!" Satan groaned.
...
In Hell.
Oscar was noting down ideas for the sequel. They were. Genesis II or so. The story of Cain and Abel (actually Genesis IV). The prodigal son, The binding of Isaac and Noah.
Homer was still screaming about German potato salad. THAT TAKES THREE DAYS TO MAKE! THREE DAYS!
"Narrator no!" Bart groaned exasperated.
Oscar laughed,
"Yes it did take me three days to make that German Potato salad!" said Satan.
Bart sighed.
Later.
Bart groaned as he had soiled his pants in fear of the apocalypse. Ie he had shit himself.
Oscar annoyed Genki from Monster Rancher because that exists now in 1999.
"Pikachuuuuuu!" Oscar did pikachu noises.
Genki strangled him.
Lisa sighed and was annoyed Dad wouldn't let her go to heaven.
"Either we all go, on none of us do!" Homer said once again.
"Suezo digivolves into Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc." said Oscar. "Or a beholder."
Genki strangled him again.
Later.
Bart got a change of pants and was drinking a can of Evil Cola. Just two calories. Not evil enough...
Oscar was annoying Genki again.
In the PlayStation games, as well as Mochi, Genki has access to a black version of Tiger, called Liquorice. Originally black furred Tigers were called Terror Dogs.
"Zuuuuuuuuuul Mother Blorker! Zuuuuuuuuuuuul!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz! No!" Genki yelled.
The end?