Pop Art In Art class Oscar shows off his artistic talents, and sudd has the power to bring his art to life. Elsewhere Homer tries to build a barbecue but in anger smashes it up into garbage that an artist mistakes for a work of art.
Plot
School, Outside Mrs Krabappel's class.
Milhouse is watching Anime on his portable TV.
Bart winced.
"Where is Mrs Krabappel?" Martin asked.
Skinner arrived. "Children, Mrs Krabappel is poorly today so you will be taking an art class."
"Coooooool beans!" Oscar cooed. He loves art.
Peter Shepherd frowned at him because he used his catchphrase.
"Oscar you're in third grade... get to class..." said Skinner.
Oscar left.
"Aw geez! Every time I do art, some do-gooder teacher sends it straight to a therapist." Bart groaned.
"Your stuff is pretty disturbing." said Milhouse.
"I've never acted on any of it." said Bart.
"You should act upon the results of your inspired canvases..." said Oscar being creepy.
Bart winced.
"Bart. You will take art, you will enjoy art, and you will make something in a kiln your mother can use." Skinner said sharply.
At home in the kitchen, Marge makes herself a mug of coffee using a mug with holes in it Bart made. Coffee pours out of the holes of the ugly poorly made mug.
"Oh... (groans)" Marge hurls the mug across the kitchen. it smashes.
Marge gasped feeling bad that she broke something Bart worked hard on.
"Maggie! Why'd you do that?" she gasped at Maggie.
Maggie gawked at her.
Class, Fourth grade sat at canvases. Oscar warped in.
"Oz you're in third grade..." Bart sighed.
"Bart why do you not like art?" Oscar asked.
"I dunno. Like I told Skinrash, The teachers find my stuff disturbing and I have to see the school psychiatrist, Or I drown crickets in the paint and let them crawl on my canvas until they die or I make crappy mugs..." said Bart.
"Besides, If I get an F my report card says FART! Ha!" Bart laughed.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
"Yeah but if you got a B it would say BART." said Oscar.
"Well I suppose that's a reason to try hard." said Bart.
"Well gotta get back to class, see ya, Fart! Myahahahaha!" Oscar left chuckling.
Bart sighed.
...
Fourth Grade are painting.
"Art class is fun. But the best part of any class is a field trip." said Martin.
Nelson slammed him face first into his own canvas for being a geek.
"Martin school sucks. I hate it here. I just want to mooch around the house all day." Bart frowned.
Third Grade um... French class. Yeah that will do.
To save money the school insisted on Letting Willie, a drunk and possibly bigoted Scotsman teach French.
"Bonjourrrrrr! Ya cheese eating surrender monkeys!" said Willie dressed in a beret and a striped sweater with black pants.
Everyone was offended, except Oscar.
"This is how I learn French..." Oscar grinned.
Fourth Grade Art class because Mrs K is sick.
"Now class this is a Mondrian." The hippy teacher Bart later gets pregnant with Voodoo shows the class an abstract painting of colourful squares.
"Ay carumba! it's Tetris!" Bart yelled.
Hugo winced at him.
At home, Homer is strangely not at work.
"I got fired again..." said Homer. Well makes sense...
"Marge honey... get me a beer..." He was thirsty.
"Sorry we're out of beer!" Marge replied.
Homer screamed.
"Urge to kill rising..." Homer growled.
The Kwik E Mart.
Apu stood at the counter bored.
"Sheesh! A whole month Ganesh and I haven't been robbed at gun point!" said Apu.
Yeah that's because your regular shoplifter died.
He continued waiting for Snake but he never came. Snake is currently spending his afterlife in Hell..
...
More art classes.
Fourth grade, Bart drowned a beetle in his black paint and watched it crawl around his canvas until it died.
"Wonderful Bart!" said the constantly happy and joyful teacher.
"Really? Wonderful? I just drowned a grasshopper in paint and let him crawl on the paper till he died." said Bart.
"Splendid!" said the teacher.
Bart groaned. "Ugh! You can't even get detention slips from her!"
"Maybe she's high..." said Hugo.
Martin was painting Van Gogh sunflowers.
Oscar came in and set up a canvas and painted rapidly yet coming up with a very detailed picture of Teddy his living teddy bear creature.
Bart went over to look at what he was painting.
"It's your teddy bear creature! Wow! It looks so life like..." said Bart.
"Whattya mean life-like?!" Teddy leapt out of the canvas and was pressed nose to nose with his wet nose against Bart's.
"Ay carumba!" Bart gasped.
Milhouse grimaced baffled.
"Your art comes to life?!" Bart gasped.
"Yep! I paint and it becomes real..." said Oscar.
"Coooooool!" said Bart.
"I'll show you some cool." Oscar painted with black paint a moustache on Bart. He felt his moustache it magically was a real moustache of hair, not paint.
"Whooooooaaaa!" said Bart. "Uh does this wash off?"
"Yes..." said Oscar.
Later at home. Bart is in his room as Bartman. He was making silly faces.
"Stop that! Your face will get stuck like that!" Marge told him off.
"Okay Oz, Finally you can be my sidekick as the expressive old master um..."
"Jack Pollockson." said Oscar wearing a beret and an apron while carrying brushes and a canvas.
"Eh... better than the incredible and stinky diaper boy..." said Bart as Bartman.
Oscar chuckled.
Lisa was Bartgirl...
"Lis try to come up with an original super persona..." Bart groaned.
"Fine..." Lisa went to look through the odd rags box in the basement.
...
Backyard, Homer is in his hammock one lazy saturday pouring beer into a coconut half and singing you put the lime in the coconut.
"Hehehehe! I love singing that during my bouts of insanity..." said Oscar.
Homer was singing lime in the coconut. Once his his can was empty he hurled it across the fence.
"Ow!" Ned whined.
Homer poured more beer into the coconut half while singing Lime in the coconut and hurling cabs at Ned.
"Homer!" Ned whined.
And more singing and careless can hurling...
"Ow!"
"...nut"
"Ow!"
Homer had ran out of projectiles.
"Marge... fetch me some more beer..." Homer groaned.
"You know, Homie, a lot of men use their Saturdays to do things around the house. Hint, hint." said Marge doing her gardening. ie pulling up weeds.
"But, Marge, I'm not like other men. That's why you buy my pants at that special store!" said Homer.
"I'm serious! You never finished painting the garage." said Marge.
The garage was half painted.
"And you still haven't taken down those awful hostage ribbons from the old oak tree." Bart's tree had yellow memorial ribbons on it.
"Oh, you know as soon as I take 'em down, there'll just be more hostages." said Homer.
"Let us go!" the hostages cry.
"And you could at least get that snake out of the piano." Marge nagged.
In the front room, A snake is inside the piano, slithering under the keys so the piano plays an Arabic tune. Then the serpent pops out of the piano lid and hisses.
Hugo winced concerned as he glanced over at the piano from the green armchair.
"And would it kill ya to fix the boiler?!" Marge nagged.
Homer seethed.
Marge went "Hrrrrrrrmmmmm!"
"Okay fine! I'll go to the hardware store! On my Saturday!" Homer ranted. "You happy Marge?!"
"I'd be happy if you did the chores you promised to do..." said Marge.
Homer hurled his coconut half full of beer.
"Ow!" Ned whined.
...
The Hardware store. Homer took Bart. Oscar went along with Hugo.
"Excuse me. I have a few questions for Pop." Homer asked the Squeaky Voiced Teen who had a hammer on his hat.
"That's me." said the drop out.
"You're Pop? No offense, but even I could kick your ass." said Bart.
"Hey, get off my case! The only reason I'm working here... is 'cause I'm trying to get a date with Mom." said the Teen.
We cut over to an attractive lady sharpening her nails with an angle grinder.
Oscar had a nosebleed and fainted.
"Ugh.." Bart groaned at his perverse behaviour.
"Look, Pop. I'm planning some expert home repairs... and I need a pair of bolt cutters or wire cutters... or something to get the lock off my toolbox." said Homer.
"Aisle one, next to the cat poison." said Pop.
"You mean rat poison..." said Oscar.
"No cat poison." said Pop.
"Why would anyone want to kill cats?! They're pets!" Oscar yelled.
Anyhoo...
"Edna, look. A dimmer switch could ratchet up the romance in our love nest." Skinner and Edna were looking at dimmer switches.
"You mean the janitor's closet? Ha!" Edna sighed.
[ Sighs ] "What's the matter, Edna? Lately you just say, "Ha!" to everything." Skinner sighed.
"I want a baby now.!" Edna blurted out.
Skinner was startled by this news. However Bart was grinning as he spied on them.
"Why don't we continue this in Pool Supplies?" Skinner went else with Edna away from Bart.
Oscar and Hugo were squirting caulk at each other.
"Stop that! This isn't the schoolyard!" Homer nagged.
Oscar and Hugo covered in caulk glue sighed.
Elsewhere Ralph goofed off in the lumber section.
"Aaaaaagh! In Ralph land, trees cut you!" He was imagining cartoon trees with saws.
"Oh the humanity..." Warren, his counterpart from Cypress Creek sighed.
...
Homer watches a video of some guy called Doug advertising an assemble yourself barbecue.
There was a chicken spit roast on it.
"Mmmmmmm chicken..." said Homer.
Doug snapped his finger and it became a hippo.
"Oh my gawd! He's Thanos!" Oscar screamed.
Thanos from Marvel snapped his fingers. Oscar dissolved into atoms.
"Aaaaaaaagh!"
"Thanks Thanos." said Homer.
"Anytime Homer." said Thanos.
Doug was magically changing the roasting animal with a snap of his fingers.
As previously stated A hippo was one of those animals, well a miniature hippo.
"Mmmmmmm hippo..." Homer drooled.
Bart arrived.
"Dad I can't find Oscar or Hugo."
"Son, how would you like if your old man built an out door barbecue..." said Homer.
"Can we burn evidence in it?" Bart asked.
"We can all burn evidence in it..." said Homer.
Okay...
"Snapping fingers will not make food appear." said the disclaimer.
"It does if you're Thanos!" Oscar yelled.
Bart sighed.
Plot 2
Backyard. Lisa is helping Dad smooth out the cement floor of the barbecue.
"There. That wasn't so hard, was it, honey?" said Homer. Lisa was exhaused.
"Dad, I really need to rest my back." Lisa groaned.
"Okay, sweetie. Daddy'll take over." said Homer.
Lisa went in to rest her aching back. and possibly get a drink.
All hell broke loose! Homer spilt the bricks and parts of the barbecue into the cenent.
He screamed.
"Okay! Okay! I can fix this..." He quickly got out the parts of the barbecue from the cenent.
"Oh no! cement hardening!"
He read the instructions. "Oh! English side ruined! Must read French!"
"Le Grille?! What the hell is that?!" He hastily assembled the parts incorrectly.
At the Springfield Penitentiary.
"ALRIGHT! LIGHTS OUT!" said Wiggum hitting the bars of the cells with his club.
"That includes you Bob..." He said to Sideshow Bob.
The criminals all took a nap.
Back in the Simpsons backyard, Homer cried as he failed to assemble the barbecue.
"Well Here's the finished product.
We see the garbled mess he created.
"Why doesn't mine look like that?!" He cried.
He screams and smashes the thing up with a pipe. Because it made him angry.
Homer growled and yelled and swore while hitting the barbecue.
In the kitchen. Bart licked a popsicle.
"Is your father finished?" Marge asked.
We here hear Homer screaming and see him running at the barbecue with a parasol. It opens up and sends Homer flying. It tops off the garbled junk that was supposed to be a barbecue.
"He's done!" said Bart.
Oscar laughed.
...
They all go outside to find Homer weeping because he failed to build something.
"Ay carumba!" Bart gasped as he got a better look at the monstrosity that was supposed to be a barbecue.
"Uh..." Hugo scratched his head.
The simpsons gawked, looking horrified or baffled by Homer's monstrosity that was suppos to be a barbecue.
"Whoooooooaaaa!" said Bart.
Marge sighed. She told herself perhaps it was best to not rely on Homer as a handy-man.
Suddenly one of those lady art teachers, You know, pencil skirt, french accent, looks like shes starving herself or purging... arrived. She gasped seeing Homer's uh mess...
"Yeah yeah... keep gawking..." Homer groaned annoyed.
"Monsieur! Zis is Beautiful! what do you call this?"
"Uh it's supposed to be a barbecue but I messed it up and in my anger smashed it up and added a parasol." said Homer.
"Ah I see the pain and frustration... I would like to buy it..." said the thin art critic lady.
"Whaaaaaat?! But it's junk!" Homer gasped.
"Ah non non non! Zis is outsider art!" said the lady.
"You think I'm an artist?!" Homer asked.
"Once I show your art at the exhibition you will be!" said the lady.
"Woohoo!"
Hugo gawked at the junk the lady thought was art.
"Some people have no taste in fine art..." Oscar was disgusted by the smashed up barbecue.
...
The lounge.
Marge paced up and down annoyed.
"Art is my hobby! We had an adventure once where I painted a portrait for Mr Burns..." said Marge jealous.
"Well we can both be artists honey..." said Homer.
"Homer you wouldn't know fine art if it bit you on your ass!" Oscar snapped.
Homer seethed but knew not to mess with Oscar who had terrifying evil powers.
"This was not what Andy Warhol meant by everyone having their 15 minutes of fame..." Lisa sighed.
Homer screamed. "Aaaaagh! No Andy! Not the soup cans!" Homer is very funny later on...
The simpsons gawked at him, freaked out.
"I don't think we should ask..." said Oscar.
Later Douglas Crimp came to critic Homer's piece.
"More like Douglas Chimp..." said Oscar.
"Quiet Boy!" Homer snapped. He was wearing a beret.
Douglas loved the piece.
"This is wonderful!"
Then the art critic lady from earlier arrived.
"I have a name..."
"Well... out with it..." said Oscar.
"My name is Astrid." said The lady. Also she says a lot of stuff i find amusing and I will make fun of!
Homer tried to look dignified as he stood by his art piece.
Marge seethed, jealous as Art was her hobby.
Later, the backyard.
Oscar is holding a Beanie Baby.
"What have you got there Oz?" Bart asked.
"A Beanie Baby." said Oscar. "I'm not getting rid of it. It shall follow me to the ends of the Earth!" He was being thespian.
Bart snatched the beanie baby and threw it over the fence into Ned's yard.
"Why you little!" Oscar strangled him.
...
The Art show.
Homer ate the canapés rudely.
"Dad show some dignity... Eat with your mouth shut..." Lisa groaned.
Everyone in the art community strangely loved Homer's work of art.
Well except one person...
"You're out of your vector, Cueball!"
"Cueball?!" Homer seethed.
Sho Minamimoto from The World Ends With You was there. He had made some sculptures out of garbage.
"Oz that game doesn't exist yet..." Bart sighed.
"I'm referencing it!" Oscar yelled.
Sho taunted Homer, possibly by mocking his weight.
"Why you!" Homer seethed.
"Bring it on old man!"
Homer growled.
"Homer no!" Oscar got in the way. "He's a shinigami!"
"A what now?" Homer asked.
"A Japanese Death God! A bit like our grim reaper!" said Oscar.
"Aaaaaagh!" Homer screamed.
"So zetta slow! Sine! Cosine!" said Sho.
Hugo winced.
"Why is there a Shinigami here..." Lisa asked.
"I'll answer that." said a young voice.
Joshua arrived.
"Sho is just exhibiting his sculptures."
Bart grimaced as he thought Sho's sculptures were ugly.
"Well mine was a barbecue but then I lost my temper with it..." Homer seethed at his sculpture.
Joshua whistled, showing some interest in it.
...
Homer then spoke to some professional art critics. including John Crimp, who is gay by the way. it's true!
"Why is my junk art?" Homer asked.
"Outsider art is popular now. Anyone can be an artist! A mental patient or a hillbilly or a chimpanzee." said Astrid.
"At school i was voted most likely to be a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee!" said Homer.
"I wanna be a chimp!" Oscar screamed like an enraged chimp and hurled food at people.
Bart eating a large cheese winced.
Hugo was mortified.
And even more funny responses from Oscar.
"The outsider art trend is like a fever. catch the artist fever!" said Astrid.
"Hell no Lady! I had a fever once and it wasn't nice! I saw freaky monsters on my walls!" Oscar yelled.
Astrid was baffled.
Still at the buffet.
Homer saw Jasper Johns. He was pilfering food and hiding it in his jacket.
"You tell anyone and I'll kill you!" Jasper warned him.
Homer screamed.
Marge and the kids were talking with Astrid.
"I once got a lovely letter back from Ringo Starr saying he loved the portraits I painted of him." said Marge.
"Okay I'm done being a chimp, now I'm a hillbilly!" Oscar got out a banjo and played Cotton-eye Joe and sang along.
Bart face palmed.
"Also I couldn't catch the art fever but I have contracted Saturday Night Fever." said Oscar. He was now dancing on a light up disco floor to the song Night Fever by the Beegees.
Bart winced.
Later Oscar went off to annoy someone else.
Bob Ross was painting.
"And we'll use some hunter green and we'll paint a happy little bush there." said Bob. "And that will be our little secret." He glared at the crowd of art critics. "Because if you tell anyone that that bush is there! I will come to your house and I will cut you!"
Oscar screamed and fled.
...
Homer was still eating and talking to art critics.
Astrid introduced him to three art critics.
"This is Kyoto." An Asian.
"Did you sleep with John Lennon?!" Homer accused her.
"No that was Yoko Ono..." said Kyoto.
"Gunther." A German guy with red hair resembling a Bond villain.
"So you're Eurotrash eh?" Homer asked.
"Ja..." said Gunther.
The last critic was some British guy. "Cecil Hempstead."
Homer just glared at him, possibly because he disliked him for being British.
Oscar ran past them screaming.
"Aaaaaaagh! Bob Ross is trying to kill me!"
The art critics were baffled.
Elsewhere Hugo gawked at a Picasso portrait. The face if it was one was garbled and the eyes and nose etc were placed haphazardly.
Hugo rearranged the face into a proper face.
"Ooooooh! it's a face..." said a critic.
Kirk Van Houten had submitted a picture of dignity.
"Uh what is that?" Gunther asked.
"It's dignity! Can't you see it's dignity!" Kirk yelled.
Then Homer's sculpture was shown.
People clapped as for some odd reason they liked it.
Marge seethed.
...
At home. Marge was annoyed Everyone loved Homer's art. Because art was her hobby. Um learn to share...
Marge was painting a bowl of fruit.
However Oscar was eating the fruit.
Marge sighed.
"Well at least he eats fruit..." said Lisa.
Marge seethed while painting.
"Don't worry Mom, Dad's fame will soon fizzle out along with this ridiculous outsider art trend..." said Lisa.
Marge sighed. She hoped so.
Homer jabbered on about neo-post-modernism impressionism.
"Dad you just threw random art terminology together! You know nothing about Art. You just got lucky because some Froot Loop liked your pile of junk!" Lisa ranted.
Homer fled in tears.
"That was just mean Lis..." Oscar frowned.
Oscar then went out to the yard.
"Hi Diddly Ho Oscar. I found this in my yard!" said Ned. He handed over the Beanie Baby.
"Thanks Ned." Oscar took back his toy.
Later at School at an art exhibit evening.
Fourth grade were showing their art projects.
Martin had painted a Monet.
Homer and Marge groaned disappointed as Bart submitted his drowned cricket picture because he couldn't be bothered to do the work.
Plot 3
Later that night Bartman and Oscar wearing a beret and a smock went out to solve crime.
"Oscar is helping with his magic art powers." said Bart as Bartman to Milhouse.
Oscar painted a train tunnel on a wall. A train rushed out.
"Okay..." said Milhouse.
The three costumed super heroes headed off into the night to solve crimes and fight super villains.
"Let's get dangerous!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz that's Darkwing Duck..." Bart as Bartman groaned.
Jimbo and his gang were out late again.
"Stealing these go karts was a wicked cool idea!" said Dolph.
Ace was roaming about at night because he is a vampire and vampire's are nocturnal.
"Hey why is that dweeb out past his bed time?" Jimbo asked.
"Eh who cares." said Kearney.
Bartman was watching them from the roof of a building with creepy gargoyles.
Hugo the gargoyle was brushing and scrubbing himself with a bath brush while wearing a frilly shower cap.
Bartman winced.
Home.
Marge was painting still life portraits.
"Hrrrrrrrrm!" She wasn't happy how her painting turned out. She applied mire yellow to a banana in the painting.
Garage.
Homer was punching some clay to make an angry sculpture.
Lisa rolled her eyes. He would always muscle in on some one's skill or hobby. She still remembered his Thomas Edison Phase.
"Sweetie I'm trying to be inspired, I need time to find my muse..." Homer stood in deep thought.
Lisa sighed exasperated.
Marge was still painting.
"Where is your brother and Oscar?" She asked.
"They're out at night being a shameless expy of Batman and Robin. or should I say Bartman and Rockin'Robon..."
"Oz you are not calling your counterpart to my Robin Rockin' Robin, or Noddy or... The Goblin..." Bartman sighed.
...
Home, the next evening.
Homer was working in the garage.
"Dad..." Lisa sighed.
"What's our father doing?" Hugo asked.
Bart was drinking a Buzz Cola.
"I am making art!" Homer made more sculptures.
Marge seethed.
"I always knew I was an artist back in my school girl days when I painted portraits of Ringo..." said Homer.
"That was my back story!" Marge yelled.
"Anyhoo. I can't sculpt anything unless I'm mad." said Homer.
"Homeboy you're always mad..." said Bart.
"Well this time I'm unleashing my rage upon my sculptures, boy so provoke me. really tick me off! Go on!"
"Well Mom found out her engagement ring was just rock candy..." said Lisa.
"Mmmmm... rock candy..." Oscar drooled.
Homer screamed and punched a filing cabinet, denting it.
"Well I'm failing at math and yesterday I was a little attracted to Milhouse." said Bart.
Milhouse outside the garage shutters wagged his eyebrows in a flirty manner at Bart.
Homer lost it and screamed in rage as he walloped the file cabinet with a sledgehammer.
"A Sister Sledge-hammer..." said Oscar.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Homer was screaming obscenities while attacking a filing cabinet that was to become a sculpture.
"Uh oh. Forgot why i'm angry."
Ned Flanders walked onto the drive. "Hi Diddly Ho Homer-"
Homer swore and assaulted the poor filing cabinet again.
Bart winced as clanging and pounding silenced any attempts to hold a conversation.
Elsewhere Sho Mimamimoto was yelling random maths terms.
"You factoring hectopascals!" Then he adjusted his cap and teleported via solid tattoo shapes to the afterlife or some sort of Limbo.
All the dead Simpsons characters were there. including Frank Grimes and Bea.
...
One evening Homer was at another art exhibition. He had three new sculptures and was explaining them.
"This was a birdhouse." He showed a messed up Picasso take on a bird house with added barbed wire.
There was frantic tapping from in the bird house and chirping.
"Is there a live bird trapped in there?!" Cecil asked.
"Seems like it..." said Homer.
People jeered angrily because some were also animal rights protestors.
Homer showed another exhibit that was a smashed up filing cabinet with a chainsaw shoved in it and mashed potato flung at it.
People jeered and left.
"Oh but you love my crap!" Homer whined.
Astrid and her friends remained to explain to him why he was no longer popular.
"Homer zis is all the same thing! You must give us something new!" said Astrid.
"But I'm in a phase! Like Picasso's blue period!" said Homer.
Gunther scoffed.
"Uh artists don't go through phases or periods like Picasso's anymore..." said Cecil.
"Homer you've gone from all that to uh naff..." said Kyoto.
"Come back when you're kitsch, Ja?" Gunther laughed.
The art critics left.
"Noooooo! come back! I'm like a god to you people! A god! Fear my wrath! O please fear my wrath..." Homer went into a mad diatribe again.
Oscar hurried over to him and prostrated himself in a low prayer. "All hail Homo Jay... All hail Homo Jay!"
"Oscar stop this blasphemy! My husband is not a god!" Marge nagged.
Homer whimpered as he was no longer famous.
He robbed the buffet table of food and went home.
After the cut to commercials, We are in the lounge.
Marge sighed. She felt bad for her husband but at the same time relived he was no longer muscling in on her hobby.
Homer groaned. "Well back to wasting my life..."
Marge sighed.
Oscar came in wearing just a diaper and laid on the living room rug that resembled an archery target. His living teddy bear creature soon followed. Teddy then began sniffing Oscar's diaper with his big wet shiny black round nose.
"Stop writing that!" Cousin Hank yelled.
...
Still in the lounge.
Marge rubbed Homer's back comforting him for losing his latest bought of fame.
"Hey, Ray Jay never changed his act and people still love him!" said Homer. "You can call me Ray, and you can call me Jay..." He did impressions of celebrities...
"Daaaaad! It's only been a few moments and I'm already sick of Ray Jay!" Lisa yelled.
"And I'm already sick of that..." Bart muttered as he glanced over at Oscar who was laying there just letting his living teddy bear thing sniff his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose.
"I'm going to Moe's." said Homer.
At Moe's He brung along his art critics.
"Moe, this is Astrid, my muse. And these are my fans: Gunther, Kyoto and Cecil Hampstead-on-Cecil-Cecil." said Homer.
"So, uh, you guys are Eurotrash, huh? How's that working out for you?" Moe asked.
"Eh, to be honest, we are adrift in a sea... of decadent luxury and meaningless sex." said Gunther.
"Uh huh... And where is this sea of meaningless sex..." Moe wanted to find the sea of meaningless sex.
"Uh... off the coast of Phuket, Thailand." said Gunther.
"Anyway what do I owe you Moe?" Homer asked.
"Ooooh put you bucks away Homer... Uh pay with a high quality sketch with your autograph." said Moe.
"Uh I can't draw, I sculpt and even these guys are sick of my sculptures..." said Homer.
The Power Plant showers.
Lenny and Carl are having a shower while Homer sketches them.
"Uh I'm not comfortable with this..." Lenny whined.
"Oh relax, Homer's an artist now!" said Carl.
Homer was sketching.
School, Fourth Grade art class.
Bart was painting when suddenly Unchained Melody started playing.
(That song from the pottery scene from Ghost plays.)
We pan over to Oscar and Demi Moore making a vase out of clay while Demi Moore snogs the ghost of Patrick Swayze.
Bart winced.
...
Homer then went on vacation to Machu Picchu with Barney.
Barney belched as Homer checked the luggage in the hallway.
"Um okay..." said Marge.
"No fair! I wanna visit Machu Picchu!" Lisa whined. She possibly wanted to visit for educational reasons.
"I just want to go to catch a Pichu from Pokémon!" said Oscar. "Oh wait it's 1999 and we still only have the original 150 pokemon..."
Bart grimaced.
At Machu Picchu.
Homer was sketching and drawing.
Pichus scampered around. "Pi! Pi! Pichuuuuu!"
There were also Three stooges style Mayans...
"Whoop whoop whooooooop!" said the Curly.
"You knuckle head!" said the Moe. He slapped Curly.
The Larry chuckled.
Homer grimaced.
Outside the Kwik e Mart.
"Trunch's constant "You're all wonderful artists!" Happy go lucky attitude is really starting to annoy me!" Bart seethed. "You can't even get a detention from her!"
"Let's put a voodoo curse on her!" said Milhouse.
"Nah... I'll break her somehow..." said Bart.
Oscar created another evil scribble monster. "Uh oh..."
"I'll ruuuuuub you out!" said the evil scribble.
"No the eraser head pencil guy from Duck Tracy will rrrrruuuuuuub you out..." said Oscar.
Homer eventually returned from his vacation to Machu Picchu.
Marge that night was mad about him muscling in on her hobby still.
"How would you like it if I joined a belching contest?!" Marge nagged.
"To be honest it'd turn me on..." said Homer.
"Good night dear..." Marge went to sleep annoyed.
Barney belched.
"Go home Barney..." Homer groaned...
...
The next day Marge had a change of heart.
"Maybe We can both be artists. Like Frida Kahlo and her husband Diego..."
Homer imagines her with a silly thick monobrow. "Aaaaaaagh! Monobrow!"
Baby Gerald frowned at Homer.
"Let's visit the art gallery." said Marge.
"Okay, but only if they have füßball there. they do have füßball right?" Homer asked.
He has a silly daydream. Homer is playing table top football with Michelango's David. He won against David.
"You lose Michelangelo's David! Okay who's next?" Homer asked.
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Edvard Munch's The Scream yelled.
The dream ended as the dream cloud collapsed into tiny clouds.
Oscar laughed.
"Homer stop imagining such ridiculous things..." Marge nagged.
"Hey let the big guy have some fun!" Oscar ranted. "Hehehehe... Tabletop football with Michelangelo's David..."
They ask the kids if they want go come too.
"I'd rather be boiled alive..." Bart said rudely that essentially he did NOT want to go.
"I'd love to go Dad!" said Lisa delighted by anything high cultured.
"I'm not asking the attic freak..." said Homer.
Oscar glared at him.
They drive to the museum.
"Are we at the art yet.l." Oscar droned.
"No."
"Are we at the art yet..."
"No!"
Plot 4
The inside of the art museum. Marge and Homer look around the museum.
"It's so exciting to do something cultural together." said Marge.
Bart was at home in his underwear, smooshing mustard packets near the piano with a hammer while sing Jingle Bells.
Homer saw a Life in Hell Comic on display.
"Matt Groening? What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw!" Homer rudely insulted God!
"Ssshhhh! Don't insult God!" said Marge.
"Pffffft! What's he gonna do..." said Homer.
A giant pencil rubbed Homer out. "Ow! Oh, no! I'm being erased!"
Oscar laughed.
"Move it, bub.! We got an installation to "installate. "" said Raphael carrying a giant pencil.
"That's not a word." said Lisa.
"Ooh! A Claes Oldenburg." Marge explained who the artist who made the giant pencil was. "He's a European who defied convention... and embraced American popular culture."
Homer whistled.
"He must be a hundred feet tall."
Oscar screamed. "This enormous man will devour us all!"
Lisa face palmed.
"Now this is a Joseph Turner. In an era when everyone else painted portraits... he broke away by painting the Venetian canals." said Marge as they looked at a Turner.
"It's glorious! The streets are paved with water! You could ride a walrus to work!" said Homer.
Oscar laughed.
Lisa sighed.
"Goo goo Ga-joob?"
They then looked at a picasso.
"And Picasso started out painting realistically, then moved on to cubism. By the end of his life, he was just painting crank letters to the editor. They call it his Angry Jerk Period." said Marge.
Homer was more interested in Andy Warhol's Campbell's soup painting... He drooled.
"Mmm, split-pea."
He gasped. "With ham!"
"Any ideas yet?" Marge asked.
"No. These guys are geniuses.I could never think of something like soup or a pencil. Oh! I'm just gonna rest for a minute." said Homer.
...
Homer's disturbing imagination...
Homer is sleeping in the Sleeping Gypsy painting. A lion licks him.
"Huh? What the?" Homer looks round the field full of famous sculptures. "Where am I."
Suddenly... "DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!" Leonardo Da Vinci's Vitruvius Man rolled up to him and punched and kicked him with his many arms and legs while screaming.
"Ow! Agn! Oof! Ow! You're mean!" Homer moved on. He encountered Picasso's Three musicians.
They played an eerie tune. Then they pulled out machine guns! "Hasta la vista! Baby!" They shot him!
Homer screamed but wad baffled to receive trapezium shaped holes from the bullets.
Water then dripped on him.
He was inside Dali's The Persistence of Memory. There was a melting clock in a tree.
"Eeeeeeew!"
The clock fell on him soaking him. Homer screamed as he got wet.
Suddenly someone hurled soup cans at him. "Ow! what the?!"
That someone was Andy Warhol!"
"Aaaaagh! Andy!"
"Soups up, fat boy!" Andy hurled soup cans at him!
In the art gallery Homer cried and rolled about in his sleep.
"No Andy! No!"
Marge and Lisa grimaced.