It had been a total of two hours since Liz had called Leslie to start publicizing The Girlie Show, and Leslie was up to the task. Of course, she wasn't very tired, it was only 2 in the morning, and her bedtime wasn't usually until 4, so she had a lot of energy. Still, she was excited for the prospect that tomorrow included back-to-back-to-back interviews on Perd, Joan Callamezzo, Thoughts for Your Thoughts, Crazy Ira and the Douche, the Pawnee Journal, and even Buddy Wood, who she had promised six dozen cupcakes in exchange for 20 minutes of air time. She was making those cupcakes right now, and avoiding thinking about Ann.
Leslie knew eventually she had to apologize, but right now… she was busy! Ann just didn't understand, and plus, it was so so annoying that Ann kept pushing her towards Ben. Ben… why did he have to exist? It was just so hard being around him. Everytime she started to talk to him, five seconds later, she wanted to jump his bones. Aww, but wasn't it so cute when she tried to be funny and he would have this perfect smile like he really understood her and they had a tradition of getting eclairs and coffee while working late and he got her that book about James and Dolley Madison which she read cover to cover in a single night just so that she could talk to him about it in the morning. Crap on a jellyfish, Leslie just really, really, really liked Ben.
Leslie looked down. She had been stirring the bowl of batter so hard that it had tipped to the side and splattered all over her apron. Oh well. She scooped some of the batter off of her and put the cupcake-y fingers in her mouth. It was excellent.
But she shouldn't have gotten distracted by Ben, of all people. This was supposed to be about Liz, not about Ann and Ben and Chris' stupid rule and all the other dumb stuff going on in her life. In fact, since she went to Food and Stuff, she hadn't even finished the Ann scrapbook.
She poured the sweet batter into the final round of cupcake pans, and then glanced over at the scrapbook on the coffee table. It was so far just one photo of Ann and Leslie frowning in the ice cream parlor in Eagleton and one photo of them smiling in the ice cream shop in Pawnee. Leslie went over to the coffee table, looking closely at Ann's expression in the second photo. Before, she had thought it was a really sweet photo. Now, looking closely at the expression on Ann's face, Leslie remembered that day.
A month ago, Ann had mentioned to her that there was a natural-flavored ice cream shop that had recently opened. Leslie, excited at the prospect of trying weird ice cream, dragged Ann into the car and told her to put in the coordinates. They drove, and Leslie got mad when she saw the Eagleton sign upon exiting Pawnee. She had yelled at Ann for not having told her the place was in Eagleton, because the ice cream probably had rich people spit in it. Ann apologized and asked would she please at least try it. So they went in, and Leslie nitpicked the store and the food. In truth, it was really good. Mango Peach was one of the best ice cream flavors she had ever tasted. But she couldn't say that to Ann, so she badmouthed it, eventually throwing the ice cream into the trash. She told Ann to frown and took a photo. Then she grabbed Ann and took her to Sherm's Ice Cream Shop where she took a smiling photo. Sadly, their ice cream was not as good. The closest thing they had to Mango Peach was Sweetums' Super Fruit Explosion, which had absolutely no fruit in it.
Leslie cupped her hands on her face. There were so many things wrong with that story, only one of which being that she had ruined the most amazing ice cream parlor in the world for her friend. How long had she been doing this? Leslie knew that sometimes she got bossy, but that was a good thing! Or maybe it wasn't. She looked at the second photo, with Ann's smile looking as fake as Sweetums' fruit. This was never something Leslie understood, how friendships… worked. Throughout school, Leslie had never really had time to make friends because she was so busy running for endless school office positions. In high school, she would sometimes hear people say that Leslie only cared about herself. But that wasn't true! She cared so so much about helping her classmates… that she forgot to become friends with them. Only in her late 20s did she meet Lindsay Carlisle Shay, who turned out to be a double-crosser when she left for Eagleton's Parks department. Then - Ann. Leslie loved her friend so much, she had ruined their friendship. She had literally forced Ann to interview for a job just so that they could be closer. Those were clear signs of abuse, according to Leslie's teen relationships booklet.
Leslie dumped the scrapbook in the trash. Then she pulled it out, and stuck the paper in the recycling. She was done being Leslie who controls everything. She wanted to be Leslie who is best friends with Ann.
It was time for a new and improved Leslie Knope.