Shunpei dropped out of the run early. Like he promised, Raichi kept up with the others, and only came back for him after.
Knowing Raichi paced himself was one thing, but it still stung to feel how far he could still go. He was sprinting in front of Sawamura as soon as Shunpei waved him on.
Raichi was always on another level.
Now they were both cooling their heels on the park bench.
Raichi was, and Shunpei next to him.
It wasn't something he'd earned yet.
Shunpei watched the seagulls fighting over litter on the waterway.
The only reason they were both here was that Raichi decided he had time to backtrack. Amahisa and Sawamura were off on a convenience store run. Raichi had his own packed snacks, and Shunpei wasn't sure what he wanted to eat to settle his stomach. Probably he'd just get lunch on the way home. The run took a lot out of him. Not much of it physical.
"Mm," said Raichi.
"Reminds me of someone," Shunpei said back. He pointed at the seagulls.
"Mn?"
"Your friends."
Raichi did smile at that one, which made it good.
"Do you go running with them a lot?" he asked.
"Mm. No." Raichi grinned even more broadly. "Amahisa-san wants to. He's way too busy. Isn't even allowed to leave most of the time. Sawamura thinks he should stop asking if he can't make it, hahah."
"But it's still fun."
"Yeah. They don't expect me to act like anything. I don't get tired," Raichi said quietly.
Shunpei shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. It was cold now that the sweat was drying.
"That's good," he said.
Raichi scarfed another granola bar from his jacket pocket, washed down with water.
"What about you?" he asked.
Then he looked at Shunpei.
Raichi didn't blink. He didn't seem like he did, at least. Shunpei had a sneaking suspicion that Coach had taught him to that for a good batting eye.
"Your friends?" Raichi explained. "Who d'you normally go with?"
He wasn't blinking now.
He stared like Shunpei was the five-hole in a bad inning, like he knew he wasn't anybody's first choice. Not after graduation.
The wind whipped clouds into shape ten thousand metres up in the sky. Roots pumped water into the half-dead grass along the path, and Shunpei felt each tiny explosion of glucose catalyzed to ATP inside him.
"Huh?" he said idiotically.
"Lots of people like you," said Raichi. Shunpei could barely hear it over the sound of thunder, somewhere on the other side of the globe. Everything was loud except the stuff right here.
"But you still came here."
The world was too big. Raichi's eyes were too big. Shunpei desperately wanted to get them off of him. He wasn't the one anyone should look at.
"With me," finished Raichi.
The chill spread inside Shunpei in a heartbeat. It was like his own internal organs were sweating.
"Yeah," he said.
"Oh," said Raichi.
Thousands of metres below them, liquid iron sloshed under the mantle of the earth. Here, Raichi wiped crumbs off his mouth, and Shunpei considered what a new low it would be for Raichi to call him on stalking his underclassman for an ego boost.
"You're okay? At school?" asked Raichi.
He kept his face locked into the easy ace smile that he kept through one injury, two failed attempts to get to nationals, and a lot of other people's tears.
It was okay. Yeah. It was fine, he was fine it was normal to have a training run with two fellow pitchers and his former teammate. It didn't have to mean anything.
"Yeah?" he said again. "What, are you trying to be Coach?"
"No." Raichi quieted down. "It's hard. Sometimes, when you're moving to a new place. I was thinking about it."
Raichi had never been to a school where he wasn't a reject even from the rejects. Of course he was worried about him. As Shunpei struggled against saying more, finally, Raichi let it go.
"It's good it's easy for you, Sanada-senpai!" Raichi said cheerfully.
That was it.
Shunpei attacked.
It took all his self-control to stop at ruffling Raichi's hair and not crush his ribs instead. God, Shunpei missed him.
"I've got friends!" he said. "You've got to read when I text you, you know. I definitely told you about my roommate."
"Yeah." Raichi laughed. "But you can lie."
That triggered another ache in Shunpei's jaw. He smoothed Raichi's hair back down into its usual flat mess.
"I'm not lying." He didn't realize how harsh it came out until he saw Raichi startle. He tried to soften it with a flick to his cheek. "Why'd you think that?"
Raichi stopped his hand where it was, took it, and lifted it back off his head. It didn't seem like he was paying attention.
"I didn't," he said.
"Oh. Ah," Shunpei stuttered lamely. "Sorry?"
Raichi nodded as permission.
"I just—I wasn't lying about that. I like university. It's been fun," Shunpei deflected.
He fidgeted now that his hands were off Raichi, picking splinters out of the wooden slats. What kind of guy lied right after saying that he wasn't lying?
"It's just going to be more fun when they let me on the team again," he amended.
"Good," said Raichi.
He kicked the pavement absentmindedly. Now Shunpei was the one staring, he realized.
"Yeah," Raichi said again. "That's good. That you have friends again."
Shunpei couldn't say anything else to that without incriminating himself. He nodded instead.
"It's nice. Like this," said Raichi.
"Yeah," Shunpei agreed.
He sat back on the bench. They probably had another fifteen minutes until the loudmouths got back. With Raichi. Alone.
How would be spend his last fifteen minutes, if he knew? Shunpei lived in a holding pattern. He'd probably just wait and see what happened.
A crow swooped in low from overhead, snatching a chip packet away from the tussling gulls. Shunpei's thighs were merging into the bench.
"Did you like third year?" asked Raichi.
"Me? Yeah, it was fun. Lot of studying. Not for you, though," he added.
"No. It's fun. But, there are a lot of first-years. It's hard to teach them." Raichi paused. "They don't get it. Was it hard for you? With me."
Shunpei pretended to think about it. "Well, you sucked, but you got better, didn't you?"
"Oh. Yeah, I guess I was that bad," Raichi said.
Wait, wait, no, that's not what he—but he always teased Raichi! Shunpei grimaced on reflex, something that most people took for smiling at a distance.
"Geez, don't look so serious," he backpedalled.
Strike. Too late. Turning red, Raichi tangled his hands up in each other like a nest of snakes.
"I know—Dad made you. Uh—" Raichi sputtered through. "Help me—so—haha—uh—I—thanks—"
Shunpei cut him off. "Like hell he did!"
That made Raichi burn even worse. His mouth slammed shut, but Shunpei could still feel the heat coming off his skin beside him. Shunpei wondered if it was too soon to trip down the bank and break his neck on the canal's retaining wall.
He softened. "Dude. Seriously?"
"Yeah! Ahah, the old bastard knew I wasn't gonna listen to him, hah," Raichi said, breathy. "Didn't he?"
Shunpei felt his eye twitch. Screwing up every part of himself to keep still, he gripped the bench with both hands.
"Raichi," he said evenly. "Coach asked me to help with fielding because I was the best player on our team. I didn't even do that much. Come on."
"I—uh—you—"
"I skipped practice all the time when Coach first got hired," he went on. "If I don't want to do something, I don't do it. I played with you because I like you."
Raichi shifted. His eyes flicked to the side, his mouth half-open like he was about to speak, teeth wet, tongue red. Shunpei didn't realize he'd focused there until Raichi's eyes glanced back.
"But—" Raichi struggled for the next word. "You quit."
"Not many people can go pro out of high school," Shunpei said.
"Like you're not good enough," said Raichi bitterly. "You're scared."
"Yeah. I am."
Raichi touched him. One hand on his arm. Shunpei's heart stopped like when he faced him from the mound.
"So stop it. You don't just want to play. You want to be the best," Raichi said.
"It's not that easy," said Shunpei fervently. "If I don't get drafted now, they might not pick me again."
"Okay," said Raichi.
They listened to the gulls as they gave up flew away, cawing. The park had emptied out all of a sudden. The early-morning runners were done, strung out along the benches, while normal people were brushing their teeth at home.
"You think they'll pick you? In three years?"
"I hope so."
Raichi started to laugh. "Doesn't matter! Nobody cares what you want."
"Hey—"
"Be the ace, Sanada-senpai. You've just got to be the best."
Raichi lip curled, and he let go, leaving white marks where his fingers were.
"Fine! I will be," Shunpei said fervently. "I took you guys to nationals. I'm not giving up my spot. I'm just making sure it's mine."
Raichi punched him on the shoulder. It stung. Shunpei rubbed the spot in wonder.
"Be aggressive. Let them hit, then I'll get them out, hahaha!" Raichi promised.
"You've got my back," Shunpei answered.
"Yeah," said Raichi.
The feelings that took him to the Fall finals and then the best-of-four swelled like a twisted wrist. He couldn't move his fingers.
"I don't need it," he said, oblivious.
Was it just him, or was it starting to get hot? Summer was over. Shunpei watched Raichi's face freeze in spite of it all, on the edge of tears.
"I mean, you're ahead of me. I'm chasing you. I—Raichi—good grief." Shunpei slapped a hand over those wide eyes.
He cringed as soon as he was clear. How could anyone talk when Raichi looked like that?
This was maybe the most embarrassed he'd been in his life. Every part of his body was curling up in shame to the point where he actually felt his arches cramp. Why the hell was he doing this? What the hell was he doing?
"Sanada-senpai?" Raichi said breathlessly, and it broke Shunpei's heart.
He shouldn't be this scared around him.
"What're you doing?"
It wasn't complicated, some part of Shunpei supplied unhelpfully. He was sitting alone on a park bench with his coach's son and ex-teammate and he was covering his eyes so that he wouldn't see him blush.
"I'm—" he started.
Wouldn't see him? Raichi wouldn't need to see to know. His face burned so bad he could feel the heat radiating off of it it on the backs of his knuckles as he leaned close.
If he only had fifteen minutes of time left, he didn't think there was another thing he wanted more than this.
"Hit me if you want to," he muttered.
Then he darted in and kissed Raichi. On the forehead. Or, he kissed the back of his own hand because he was scared. His lips to his knuckles, the pads of his fingers cold and damp on Raichi's temple
Shunpei pulled away. With any luck, Raichi didn't notice what happened.
"You were freaking out there," he said. "Sorry. I thought—"
"It's okay," said Raichi, already calm.
It felt like he'd just struck out watching. He'd seen the arc form up in front of him of where he needed to go, and watched it fade out again. Shunpei let the last of his sweat steam off in silence.
"I don't want to hit you," Raichi said suddenly.
"Oh? Thanks," said Shunpei.
"I—uh—just—I want to—ahahaha—hit off you," he muttered.
Then things were back to normal.
"Do it. I'll see you in three years." Shunpei was going to regret this. "I promise I'll be good enough."
He held out his little finger. Raichi took it.
"Okay."
The hairs prickled on his shoulder where he felt the hem of Raichi's sleeve, as close as they were together, and—
"Todoroki! We got you a milk," Sawamura yelled behind them. "Sanada-san, I don't know what you like, so Amahisa-san got yours."
That was his cue. Shunpei stood up too fast, legs unsticking painfully from the bench.
"Did you guys get lost?" he teased. "Raichi and I were going to leave if you took any longer."
"We—" Amahisa started, only to get bowled over by Sawamura.
"No! I had to—to make sure I—I got the right brand!"
It was supposed to be a joke, to cover up the total dead silence coming off of Raichi as he stared straight ahead. Did Sawamura actually lose them? He must've thrown that joke out and hit the strike zone.
Shunpei took his and Raichi's drinks off of the returning heroes as they both tried to pull their shared bag towards them.
"I actually do have to go soon," he said.
"Aww, boring," Amahisa said. "Bye."
"You should join us again, Sanada-san! Make sure you make time for catch," added Sawamura.
Raichi watched him quietly, concentrating on his milk.
"It was fun," Shunpei agreed. He caught Raichi's eye. "Talk to you later?"
Nodding, Raichi let him go.
…
Raichi tried to get comfortable. He turned the problem over in his head. It was easy to get caught up in the swing of things when you were playing. Coming back down, everything seemed a lot more different.
Because I like you.
Nobody ever confessed to him before.
What was weird was that it was Sanada-senpai who did it now.
He didn't ask for an answer, but Raichi knew he should think about it and then give him one. Didn't ask, didn't look back. It didn't even seem like Sanada-senpai even thought there was an answer to give.
Instead, he thought Raichi was going to hit him.
Raichi cringed.
Even though the heat was off today, he didn't feel like he needed his covers on. He kicked them to the end of the futon.
Well, maybe anybody else would take a swing. It was a guy confessing. Raichi wasn't dumb enough to think that was normal. It happened once to somebody else in middle school, though he didn't find out until Akki explained why somebody else was getting picked last for groups.
He remembered.
He wasn't normal either.
Raichi thought about it.
He looked at his new phone, plugged in and charging on the worn-through scratchy carpet. Sanada-senpai hadn't texted again after he left, except for saying he got home safe. Was he still scared?
Reaching out, he hooked it off the cord.
Raichi
you rly miss practice hahaaha
you were slowwwww
That was okay, wasn't it? Sanada-senpai made fun of him with a smile and comforted him with a straight face.
He settled in and watched the activity badge. From what he saw, Sanada-senpai never put his phone down at night. No wonder he was tired on weekends! He never slept. Not even on a full stomach.
Though it wasn't helping Raichi either.
Things were good for that lately. Dad got a raise every year since they got hired, and now they bought flats of eggs.
The Typing sign popped up faithfully under his stare.
Nada
ugh i can practice next year
jk
I need to keep up
Raichi
((((:
So they could still talk normally. That was good, but now Raichi couldn't think of anything to say. He tried to remember if Sanada-senpai ever acted like he liked him before. He said he liked him. So that was…even in first year?
Ears burning, Raichi held his phone right up against his chest.
Raichi
you can!
the ace has to be the best
Nada
can I come next time?
Raichi
yeah!
i can add you!
amahisa-san added me :DDDDD
He already had switched chats when he got the reply, a cold towel hanging limp over his warm body.
Nada
nah it's fine
sometimes you want to hang out with your own friends right?
just tell me if it's okay
Raichi
ok
Even though he'd eaten, his stomach clenched around itself. Sanada was his friend, even if they weren't the closest, but saying that would maybe hurt him now. Raichi should stay quiet until he could give him a real answer. Whenever he tried to say something important, it came out wrong.
Nada
thanks for inviting me
lol btw does sawamura like
not like amahisa ?
Raichi
ahahaahaha
no
hahahaha
Raichi rolled over on his stomach and put an arm under the pillow for a chin-rest. Actually, Amahisa had asked him if Sawamura liked him too. Raichi didn't say anything then either. A genius could definitely figure it out if Raichi could.
Nada
:0 ?
wait
why are you up
it's like 11
night
go to sleep
sucks to be you tomorrow
Raichi
goodnight!
i'll answer
next weekend
?
Nada
i'm free sunday
wait
next sunday
Raichi felt himself smiling. It was so easy! Sanada complained about his schedule all the time, but he was free two weekends in a month. It was nice in the fall.
Again, he was about to close the chat when Sanada started typing.
It went on for a long time before it showed Raichi a short message. All the while, his heart beat louder. It was fun until he started to shake. As good as batting, watching the throws come at him. Three balls. Pitcher's cornered.
He wanted to hit them so badly.
Then, into the strike zone:
Nada
i can meet u at Yakushi
that's ur retirement game right?
lol I should talk to Coach too
Raichi's heart dropped. That was right. Dad would find out how much he'd been texting Sanada when he was supposed to be at university, studying, away from Raichi, who just made him miserable with all the times he messed up.
Raichi
don't tell him
you talk to me
!
:|
Nada
?
why?
Raichi
thinks it's Sawamura
texting
Nada
okay^^
see you next week?
Raichi
ok
Locking his phone, Raichi shoved it away from him before he could see anything else.
Now he had a week to think of an answer.
…
00 64 555 089 12
Aki
are you there?
Kazuma swiped up on his lockscreen to see the rest of the messages.
There weren't any.
He checked again. Nope. That was…unsettling. Raichi in text didn't have his usual shyness. Well, with him and Yuuta, he was barely shy at all anyway. He'd just been quiet this week. Mostly sitting at his desk and muttering about the retirement game.
Locking his door as a precaution, Kazuma threw open his window and lay down on the bed. He didn't have time for anything else if he wanted to make early practice tomorrow. It was a sacrifice he could live with.
Besides, he was pretty curious about what Raichi would wait to talk about.
Kazuma
sorry, it was my turn to wash
what's up?
00 64 555 089 12
it's ok
i got confessed to
Again, Kazuma scrolled up to make sure he hadn't missed anything. Nope, apparently not. He pulled the blanket up over his knees and settled into fetal position.
Kazuma
woah cool! congrats
who was it?
did you accept?
00 64 555 089 12
no
Kazuma
was it someone you liked?
00 64 555 089 12
yes
ahahahaha yeah it was
i don't know haahhahha
From somewhere outside, his mom was asking his brother to troubleshoot the tower computer. Kazuma felt around for some headphones on his dresser, then plugged them in without playing anything. That at least would block out part of the noise.
Raichi. Girl. Like. Huh.
From what he could tell, Raichi wasn't sure what to do about it. He couldn't rule out a prank confession. If they were still first-years, definitely. It was the truth even if Kazuma didn't like it.
Raichi was…hard to get used to.
As a third-year he was finally famous enough that most of the guys respected him, and most of the girls thought he was cute. Not cool. Just cute.
If he was being honest about it, he did too. Seeing people actually say hi to Raichi without laughing gave him a sense of pride after ten years of lunchroom exile.
That didn't change that Kazuma struggled to think of any girls he even talked to regularly. Suzuki-san, maybe? They'd been partnered up for a big history paper. Kazuma was so desperate trying to keep Yuuta from failing them both that he'd kind of checked out during that trimester. Who knows, maybe they really hit it off?
Kazuma huffed, thinking of long afternoons at the library with a pretty all-right-looking girl. It would really be nice to go through life without a huge dumb brute stepping on your heels all the time.
Then, he grimaced. Who was he kidding? It's not like he would ever partner up with someone else.
Kazuma
nice lol
even if you do like them, you don't have to accept!
so don't feel like
it's a big deal
you're rly busy
i don't even have time to play video games and i'm just going to uni lol
00 64 555 089 12
it's because you study aki! ahahahaha you should fail like mishima
more fun ((((:
:)
There was some of the usual Raichi. Kazuma felt better and worse.
Kazuma
so r you going to accept or?
need any help?
00 64 555 089 12
ahahhahaha
well
it's someone i like!
but
like isn't like
i like baseball
I like you and mishima but i'd never date you haahhhahahha
Looking at, well, whatever the hell that meant, he decide this was going to need something stronger. Kazuma started a playlist while he tried to parse out what Raichi was asking. He didn't know if he should accept? It was a friend, but it wasn't someone he ever thought about like that?
Kazuma tapped his fingers on the dresser. He wondered what Coach would do if his only son fell in love in high school and eloped to Okinawa to start a banana farm. Probably fly down with a card and flowers.
It would still probably get him a yelling-at if he ever learned it was Kazuma's fault.
Kazuma
ahhhhh
you like her, but not as a girl
00 64 555 089 12
hahahahahahaha
yes
ahahahahaa
It was hard to tell, but Raichi could be getting nervous. Dating wasn't for baseball freaks. Even if she really liked him, no girl wanted to put up with a guy who'd be out of town eight months of the year. He'd know. Kazuma had looked up the schedule before even Raichi did.
Kazuma tucked a hand between his knees to warm his fingers back up.
Whoever Raichi's first love was, he should have something that was going to work out. That's what Kazuma believed. Some patient older type who could keep up with his moods and understand what he wasn't saying. Or, someone who was baseball crazy the same way that he was and didn't need to think about it. A manager from another school with a long braid and a fridge full of snacks.
Kazuma
if u don't have time to date, maybe don't say yes
she still likes you
but then u don't have to like spend time on it
00 64 555 089 12
okkkkkkkk
i already have time hahahahaa
Kazuma
oh? cool
wym?
00 64 555 089 12
when we hang out :D
Now that was weird. Kazuma pushed himself back up in bed as footsteps stomped past his door. Raichi hanging out with a girl. He could imagine Raichi hanging out with someone outside of the team. Not usual, but not weird since he got LINE and became besties with the Ichidaisan pitcher, or whatever. Raichi hanging out with a girl enough to make her fall in love with him?
Weird.
This could be the kind of thing that didn't happen twice. Kazuma weighed his conscience on one hand telling him not to get his second-best friend in trouble against the conscience telling him that a clever lunch-making A-student girlfriend would be the best thing that ever happened to him.
Kazuma
is she at Yakushi?
nvm
sounds like u want to accept
00 64 555 089 12
idkkkkkk ahahahaha
aki
for you
how do u know you like someone?
?
?
This was more familiar territory. Kazuma didn't have any idea. He was confident about that.
The slowed-down jrock ballad that was queued up helped a lot. He settled down cross-legged and started to type. There were a lot of backspaces and 'Select All,' but he was going to give a good answer for this. Otherwise Raichi was going to ask Yuuta, and his dreams of romance were going to get crushed.
Kazuma
i think
if u like hanging out w her
and u really want to keep hanging out with her
you should accept
IF it's not going to mess with baseball
if you start batting worse u should break up
otherwise ur dad's gonna kill me and her
00 64 555 089 12
hahaahhhahah nahh
dad's not going to do that !
:)
:)))))))
There had to be some kind of hidden meaning that Kazuma was too tired to figure out. He decided to take the easy route.
Kazuma
oh?
congrats i guess ^^
lmk how it goes!
00 64 555 089 12
accept?
Kazuma
it's your choice dude
it sounds like you really like her so go for it!
00 64 555 089 12
i really like h er
i don't know
if i can do dating stuff
Kazuma
you can always try
if it doesn't work out can be friends
00 64 555 089 12
ok
can i text you later?
Kazuma
yeah
yuuta keeps me up all night anyway
u don't need to ask
00 64 555 089 12
:D
Smiling, Kazuma watched Raichi's activity switch to Away. It was probably time for his bedtime bat-swinging. What kind of girl would date that? Kazuma's curiosity was getting the better of him.
Oh, well. He'd find out if it went well. Or if it didn't.
He hoped that it worked out for Raichi. He was so much happier now outside of games. Kazuma finally felt like he'd be okay when he was on his own.
Skipping past a few mood-ruining tracks, he closed LINE. Then he reopened it.
Kazuma rolled on to his side. The team group chat, his group study chat, his brother, his mom, Yuuta…
Opening Yuuta's window, he closed it as soon as he read the last conversation they'd had. About whether hiccupping if you ate eggs was normal. No. No, Kazuma couldn't talk to Yuuta about it, even if he was the only one who could understand. He'd ruin Raichi's chances even if he tried to help. Kazuma swore that if any girl ever asked him out, Yuuta wouldn't see her until the three-month anniversary.
So he scrolled down a bit further and clicked on Sanada's contact.
…
Shunpei wiped his eyes furtively. In the end, he didn't cry.
Keeping his phone out, he scrolled back to the bottom of the feed in every app he had.
So Raichi had a girlfriend.
Or, he'd have one.
Shunpei hated her already.
He rolled on to his side.
That was that. His heart had tapped one-sixty bpm while he read Akiba's first few messages and slowed right down after while he shifted uncomfortably.
When he realized what was happening, gave the best answers he could. Everything was too hot. He was angry, then he was bitter.
Reading the reply, the bridge of his nose had hurt right between his eyes as they welled up. Then he gave up. He only got one tear out of it.
Shunpei didn't cry. Just breathed out slowly. Loudly. His lungs rattled, but his roommate wouldn't be back until late anyway.
Akiba had signed off with a thank you and a promise to say hi the next time he visited.
That was one silver lining. It was nice to have another underclassman who listened to what he said. Mishima's favourite was Raizou, he barely noticed he had upperclassmen. The younger ones that were leading the team now had all focused on Raichi instead of him, too. Shunpei guessed he was just doomed to be a teacher's pet.
So it was over now.
Shunpei swallowed hard as he thought about it.
All in all, it could've been worse for a first heartbreak. Akiba was so cautiously excited it was kind of cute, watching him worry about whether he'd said the right thing to get Raichi his girl. That was a good thing.
Plus, he didn't even have to hear it from Raichi first. It was over text. He could groan and sigh like this while the burning in his throat got better.
Shunpei stretched out on his back. He gave up. There was nothing on the phone screen for him now.
Raichi liked someone, and it wasn't him.
It wasn't even somebody he knew. There was a whole part of Raichi's life that not even Akiba knew about. He wondered if Raizou had ever met her.
And it had to be a girl. He wanted it to be a girl, because if all Shunpei's fantasizing about the first gay NPB player to bat 0.35 was true, he was going to kill the lucky guy. He wasn't joking. Well, maybe Akiba could live. But it wasn't Akiba.
Shunpei let himself sulk. He's allow Amahisa too, since he knew just what Raichi was, but it wasn't Amahisa. Was it?
He tried to picture it. Raichi, holding Amahisa's baby face in both hands and wrestling him into a kiss.
It wasn't real.
What he had in his head looked more like a competition than an act of love. Maybe it was the same thing to Amahisa. He tried to think of Kaneda-san instead, who sat behind him in second year and had a wicked sense of humour. That didn't work either. It was like watching a schoolteacher with her favourite kid.
That was the problem! Raichi couldn't be with anyone else. Whatever he tried to imagine was too fake to be a threat. None of it rang true.
There was nobody in his world who could fall in love with Raichi like he did.
Shunpei pressed his hand down hard on his sternum. Maybe his heart would get the picture and stop beating so damn loud.
He could deal with a rival. What made him feel sick was a girl whose face he didn't know talking to Raichi with words he couldn't guess. He didn't know. He didn't know. She was Raichi's first love and he didn't know.
Why would he?
Shunpei rolled over, pulling up an article about some American minor-leaguer who just retired.
For an hour, he read one boring page after another. Then he sulked until he fell asleep.
He didn't cry.