Xanther and Braddon had finally finished the last of the satellites on their maintenance run. All 127 that they had ended up being responsible for upgrading. It had taken over 3 years to get through all of them, and some of the earlier sites were now already reporting failures and requiring another visit. They were browsing through new mission options as they approached the SSS-900 for some much needed maintenance themselves. Fuel was low, supplies were lower. The last satellite had taken a bit longer to repair than they had thought due to some unreported damage from micro-asteroids caused by an inoperable field generator.
"We could take another maintenance run?" Xanther offered. "We are becoming experts in the field." She grinned, but he could tell from her tone that the thought didn't excite her. It was the safe option, one he liked to hold in reserve. I can always come back to this.
"I dunno, why don't we try something else this time? I don't want to get stuck being typecast forever."
Her smile became warmer. "It was starting to get a little dull wasn't it?"
"Hey now, I like dull! Better than rescues and ambush." She chuckled. "But, yeah, I think we passed dull a few months back."
"Ok, sure. No maintenance runs. Were you thinking a short-term, or long-term assignment?" He could hear the unspoken undertones. Are you ready to go back out to the far reaches of space, for months at a time, with only me for company? He did miss the excitement of discovering new worlds, but it would be weird doing that with Xanther instead of Pacifica. He trusted Xanther, and felt at ease with her. He never had to worry about her getting in one of her moods, yes she got angry and frustrated sometimes, but she never made him feel like it was his fault. Seeing what a healthy partnership could be like made the warning signs with Pacifica seem even more obvious. There is no changing the past. He reminded himself gently.
"Hmm, I'm not sure. Let's have a look at both and see if anything stands out?"
Later Station Master Simeon contacted him on the brainwave. Braddon hadn't realised he was already in range.
"Braddon! Back to nuzzle at my teat once more!"
Braddon chuckled. "Oh Simeon, one of these days you will greet me courteously and catch me completely off guard!"
"Gotta keep you on your toes my lad! Anyway, got some messages for you."
"Yeah? Where from?"
"A couple of short bursts from Regulus." Oh, they must be from Pol. "And a very peculiar data package from Pacifika." Braddon's heart felt like it skipped a beat, even though he knew that was impossible due to his life support systems. Simeon continued. "By the time stamps, and postage marks It has been bounced around quite a number of departments in central before finally being forwarded on to you. I have never seen a recording with quite so many layers. Almost like a pass-the-parcel."
"Did, did you say Pacifica?" Braddon's voice was trembling, how could she be sending him a message? She was dead, wasn't she? They told him she was dead, what if she sent it before she died? Even then there is no way it would take years to be delivered…
"Oh shit! Of course you would think… The message originated from the planet Pacifika, with a K. As far as I am aware it has no connection to your previous brawn."
Braddon let out a sigh of relief. He sent a disgruntled muddy signal to Simeon. "Next time, maybe lead with that, you almost gave me a heart attack!" He looked up the planet Pacifika in his database, a type M tropical world with vast oceans and many small islands. Inhabited by the descendants of climate refugees from old Earth, one of the earliest worlds to be settled. Named after the Pacifika people from the various nations in the Pacific Islands. Independent status, multiple governing bodies distributed throughout the many islands. They cooperated peacefully with central worlds. I have never even heard of this planet before, let alone been there, so why am I getting a message?
"My deepest apologies Braddon! Won't happen again! Are you ready to receive?"
"Send away." Braddon caught the databurst and saved it swiftly. He could see why Simeon was curious, it had been passed around, wrapped and added to. He used his personal key to begin decrypting the message, and pondered briefly if Simeon would have had the self-restraint to not read his mail, if he had the means to do so...
Simeon continued. "According to public records you have never been to Pacifika?"
"Yeah, don't know anyone who has either."
"Huh. Very odd."
"Are you really so bored that a little mail mystery has got you so worked up?" Braddon teased. "You should have taken up that dual brain offer for a bit of company."
Simeon spluttered back. "Ha! Well, technically that plan has been approved, but they are having trouble finding someone with suitable expertise that is willing to relocate."
"You mean willing to put up with you?" Braddon added jokingly.
"Hey now! When did you get so snarky? I'm starting to miss the mild mannered newbie! I am sure the opportunity to work with and learn from someone of my calibre would be most alluring, but station brains tend to get a little attached to our bodies you know?"
Braddon understood. The thought of being placed in a different ship, even if it was bigger and better, was extremely unsettling.
"And they did agree that placing a new recruit in the first two brain station wouldn't be exactly fair." Simeon continued. "And with two brains looking after my dear station, I would have twice the amount of free time to ponder mysterious data packages."
"Ha, fair enough! Don't worry, I'll let you know the goss, once you have given me a chance to listen to it that is!"
"Thanks mate, looking forward to having you dockside for a bit!"
With that he was gone and Braddon was left with his mail. He put aside the messages from Pol for later, and started to unravel the mystery message. The most recent segment was tagged with 'watch this first', so he obliged and saw Dr. Rice staring back at him through the display with her usual calm composure.
"Braddon, I was sent this recording by CenCom for review before they would release it to you. In my personal opinion, this is a breach of your privacy and if you wish to make a formal complaint I would be happy to assist. You have been cleared for full active duty, and you deserve to be treated as such. However, based on previous trauma, I can understand their concern, and I would encourage you to check in with me before taking any action."
This hadn't explained anything so far, if anything he was even more confused.
"The Rani culture is one of the most backwards of the Pacifika Nations. Remember, you do not have to meet with this woman. You do not owe her anything, and you are under no obligation to even respond to this message. Please take time to carefully consider your options." She let out a large sigh. "I trust you to make the right decision." The recording shut off.
What woman? What decision? Rani? Argh, this is so frustrating! Braddon unwrapped the next layer of his pass-the-parcel and was greeted by an unfamiliar face in a CenCom uniform.
"My name is Angela, and I work in the recruitment arm of the shell-person program. You were born on Pacifika to Ethanya of the Rani tribe. Due to her nation's independent status, in order for you to be accepted into the shell program she relinquished her rights as guardian. Your citizenship was stripped and you became a citizen of central worlds and a ward of the state. In line with regulations no contact could be made by either party until you reached the age of maturity. We received the following transmission from Ethanya and are legally required to inform you. It is up to you if you wish to respond. No personal information including contact details will be passed on without your consent. If you wish to respond anonymously we are happy to serve as a go-between."
My mother… my mother wants to meet with me? I wasn't abandoned, I was given up in order to be accepted into the shell-program? Braddon pondered why he had never looked into his ancestry. Once he graduated, he would have had access. He had been too afraid, afraid of finding a dead end. Afraid of not being wanted. Afraid of being despised for his brokenness. Braddon took a moment to settle his nerves before moving on to the final recording.
Two women were standing in a small room with pale pink walls. They both had dark warm skin. The one to the right was wearing some kind of uniform and had her hair tied back in a tight bun. The woman to the left was wearing brightly coloured traditional clothes, and her curly black hair hung well past her shoulders. They both bowed formally to the camera before the brightly coloured woman spoke.
She wasn't speaking standard! Braddon ran a quick check of his memory banks, but he didn't carry the files needed to recognise the language being used. She paused and looked to the other woman who then began to speak.
"This is Ethanya of the Rani tribe. I am Shala and will be serving as translator." Her accent was strong and musical, but at least he could understand her. Ethanya continued, occasionally pausing to allow Shala to translate.
"My child, I greet you, with blessings from Rani."
"When you were born I was very afraid."
"Your sister was born still and unmoving, I feared you would also be taken from me."
"I secretly went to the mainland, at the request of my mother."
"It is not our custom, to seek unnatural aid, but I was so afraid, I could not feel you moving inside me."
"When you were born you needed machines to make your heart beat, and to fill your lungs with air."
"Such things would never be allowed on Rani. I feared they would only prolong your suffering."
"I was told if I sent you away you would live and have a full and rich life."
"My child, I want to see you, I want to know if I made the right decision, I think of you every day."
She had started to cry, and Shala embraced her. He watched her shoulders ripple with grief. The transmission cut off.
It was a lot to take in, Braddon went back to the start and paused on the initial image, looking at his mother. In that moment she stood tall, she looked brave, strong, defiant even.
It is not our custom, to seek unnatural aid. That line had him particularly concerned. He could see why Dr. Rice had described the Rani culture as backwards. Such a culture must find the idea of shell-people abhorrent, but Ethanya hadn't seemed repulsed by the idea, she had seemed genuinely concerned about his well-being. He watched the recording again.
"Xanther?"
"Hmm?" She replied distractedly. She was still flicking through various mission options.
"Have you come across anything that would take us to B sector? Out near Pacifika?"
She stopped her scrolling. "B sector? I was looking more at the job descriptions than the destinations. Wait, did you say Pacifica?"
He brought up a holo of the planet Pacifika in front of her showing the bright blue oceans and the many clusters of tiny islands, as well as a few larger land masses.
"Pacifika, with a K, it is a tropical planet inhabited primarily by climate refugees from old Earth."
She sat forward in her chair to closer examine the holo. "Oh wow! Looks like paradise! Why the sudden interest?"
He briefly thought about not telling her, about saying something like "I just thought you could use a vacation!" But no, he wanted to be honest with her. "I just got a transmission from my mother, she wants to meet me."
Xanther slumped back into her chair. "Your mother? Meet? As in for the first time?"
"Yeah."
"Wow." They sat in silence for a moment.
Braddon felt like he needed to explain himself. "I have always been curious about my heritage, but I assumed my parents wanted nothing to do with me, and now I get a message where this woman is basically pleading to meet with me, I just have to go!"
Xanther held up her hands. "Braddon, stop, you don't need to justify anything, of course we are going to go."
"You're not going to try and talk me out of it?"
"What? Of course not! Have you seen that planet? A bit of shore leave there would be amazing!"
He laughed. "And here I thought you might have actually cared about me!" He said jokingly.
She sneered. "Well, there is that too."
While Xanther was re-checking the mission requests, he decided to check in with Simeon.
"Simeon?"
"Braddon, back so soon!" The response was quick, too quick. Simeon must be really curious about the contents of the message.
"Simeon, I was wondering if you knew of any work that would take me out to Pacifika. Vaccines to deliver, passengers to ferry? Open to anything really."
He could feel Simeon's frustration leaking back along the line. "An hour ago you hadn't even heard of Pacifika, and now you want to head there as quickly as possible? What on Terra was in that message?!"
Braddon had been hoping to tease Simeon for a bit longer, but he was probably going to be much more helpful once Braddon had spilled the beans.
"I might have been lying to you earlier, when I said I have never been there."
"I am hurt that you would willfully deceive me like that!" Simeon was layering on the sarcasm, but Braddon expected the statement held some small truth.
"Hey now, the deception was not willful! I myself have only just learnt about this falsehood!" That should be enough of a clue. There was silence on the line as Simeon tried to decipher the meaning.
"Your memory banks were damaged by that reever virus right?"
"Yes, but no, all my personal files were restored. And a trip like that would show on the public logs." There was more silence.
"Oh, shit, you were born there?"
"Bingo! So, do you have any leads for me?"
"I'll look into it." And with that he was gone. Huh, I was expecting more follow up questions. Simeon better not have gone off to spread gossip! No, no, don't jump to conclusions, he probably just had some urgent station business to attend to.
Braddon thought about contacting Dr. Rice, but she was right when she said his privacy had been breached. She didn't need to know, and he wasn't required to check in. The thought of meeting his mother had him nervous, but not distressed. He had already been assuming the worst of his parents, so even if this turned out to be a disappointment, he would be no worse off right? He was not going to be in any physical danger, no volcanos, black holes, or pirates to worry about. He might check in with her later, but right now he felt like he could handle it, and he had some research to do. He wanted to learn everything he could about Pacifika and the Rani Tribe. Access to the net was slow, despite the upgrades they had just completed, but he managed to download enough information to keep him busy while Xanther slept. After seeing his mother, and the dark skinned faces of all the various Pacifika people throughout the files he had found, for the first time in his life he found that he was curious about his physical appearance… you monster! He pushed both thoughts aside, it doesn't matter, I don't want to know.
A few hours later Simeon got back to him.
"Braddon, you up? Think I got something for you."
Xanther was fast asleep, but Braddon was too excited, and had been putting off his sleep cycle.
"Excellent! What beautifully mundane task do you have for me?"
Simeon chuckled before continuing. "Never change Braddon, that attitude will see you happily employed for centuries to come!"
"Nothing like a good old life and death situation to make you appreciate the simple things."
"Well, when you put it like that. Anyway, what you said earlier about vaccines got me thinking. There has been a sickness going around Pacifika lately and they have requested medical aid. We have the capability to synthesise the medication they require, but so do a large number of other facilities in the central world's system. When the request came through I barely glanced at it as we had no singularity capable ships willing to head in that direction."
"Oh excellent, that sounds perfect! When will it be ready to go?"
"Still figuring out some of the formalities. Xeno won't mind loaning you to Medical for a bit?"
"Well, they haven't minded me running around doing routine maintenance for the last few years."
"Ok, sure. Well, we can probably synthesise a shipment worthy quantity in the time it takes to say, work through your most urgent maintenance requests? Although I might have to charge you a couple of rush order fees."
"Not a problem! Should still come in much cheaper than if I were to take some personal time."
Simeon was efficient. All the paperwork and red tape had been completed by the time he had docked. Maintenance crews were ready and waiting, Braddon felt a little anxious with so many people giving him their attention at once. Xanther saw the onslaught of personnel and whispered into her implant, "You sure you don't want me to stay and supervise for a bit?"
"Nah, it's fine. You need to get your medical check, and I always have Simeon to call on. I highly doubt anyone would try to jack a brainship on the SSS-900!"
The onslaught did heighten his nerves, but it was a good chance to practise some of the techniques he had learnt from Dr. Rice. He carefully observed the personnel, and made sure they knew to give him warning before disconnecting any of his sensors. The maintenance went smoothly without triggering any panic. See? I'm fine. I can handle this.
Before he knew it his holds held a small number of crates marked FRAGILE, MEDICAL and URGENT, and he had his 'all haste' directive from medical. He could tell Xanther was a little disappointed in their short stay, but she didn't complain. He had to find a way to thank her later. Maybe I could book her a spa day or something on Pacifika, did she even like that sort of stuff? How could I find out? Would that be one of those awesome gifts that blew her away, or a creepy too personal type of gift?
Now that he knew he was heading to Pacifika he needed to try and arrange a meeting with his mother. The message had originated at the general hospital near the spaceport. Was his mother staying there? Had she journeyed to the mainland simply to send the message? Did the Rani Tribe even have communications infrastructure? Pacifika had a shell-person planetary manager, she would know. It would be much easier to contact her after the transition through singularity so he decided to wait. Doubts crept into his mind. What if she can't meet with me? What if I can't contact her in time? What if she hates what I have become? What if she regrets her decision? He pinged Xanther's cabin.
"Hey, Xanther, I need a distraction, do you want to play a game or something?"
They burst through the singularity and back into normal space. Xanther looked pale, and Braddon felt like some of his wires were crossed. Even after years of practice, neither of them took the transitions particularly well, but they both bounced back pretty quickly. Xanther unfastened her restraints and went to retrieve the restorative protein rich smoothie that Braddon already had the food synth prepping. Meanwhile he gave himself a couple of pumps of nutrients and took a minute to check each sensor was still connected up as it should be. Those jumps were so disorientating, but that was nothing compared to the mega-leap he had taken to escape the black hole. Regular jumps were a walk in the park by comparison, but more like a dingy creepy park at night time, where you thought you might get mugged, so you tried to leave as quickly as possible.
Xanther had come back and was slouched in her chair sipping her drink through a long metal straw. "Good jump."
"Thanks." He replied glumly.
"You gonna call Thea?"
He let out a sigh.
"Nervous?"
"Yeah, but putting it off isn't going to help."
He warmed up the tightbeam. It would be faster than the brainwave at this distance, and he wanted to include Xanther. Letting softies listen in to brainwave convos was a bit taboo.
"This is the XB-1070 calling the Planetary Manager of Pacifika. We have just arrived in this sector through singularity point B-3S4 and are carrying urgent medical supplies."
To his dismay it was not Thea who responded. "XB-1070 this is communications officer Florence responding to your hail. We thank you for your update and look forward to greeting you. What is your ETA?"
"We are due to make landfall in just over 32 hours. Um, there was another matter which I needed to discuss with Thea."
"You will have top priority when landing, let us know when you are ready to approach. Thea is busy right now, can I get her to call you back?"
"Sure, thanks, will do." He cut the link to avoid continuing to blubber like an idiot.
"Argh, I hate waiting!" He moaned to Xanther who chuckled.
"You usually don't seem to mind, hell, I would even describe you as patient." The way she said it made it sound more like an insult than a virtue.
"Well, I am usually not going to see my mother."
Not less than 10min later Braddon received a tight beam from Pacifika coded as urgent. He connected to the cabin speaker.
"Oh my stars! Braddon, is it really you?" The voice had an accent similar to the woman in the tape, but a little less severe.
"Um, yes this is the XB-1070, I take it you are Planetary Manager Thea?"
"Oh of course excuse my manners! Yes, I am Thea. Oh Braddon, welcome home! I was starting to think you wouldn't come, I was surprised when our message didn't receive an immediate response."
"Well, there were some delays in it getting to me."
"I am surprised they let you come out here without a brawn to keep an eye on you."
Braddon realised that he hadn't been sending any video, he flicked on a feed.
"Thea, meet Xanther, my brawn of three years." Xanther was poorly attempting to suppress a chuckle as she saluted the camera.
"Oh Xanther, my deepest apologies! I just saw the X, what an unusual, and lovely name."
"Pleasure to meet you Thea." Xanther said with a warm smile.
"Xanther is aware of my little side-quest, so there is no need to withhold any information."
"Oh, phew, I thought for a moment I might have just spilt the beans, all over my screen that is!"
"Anyway, what is the best way for me to contact Ethanya? I would like to arrange a meeting."
"I am so glad that you are willing to meet with her, but I feel like I must warn you of some things first."
"Um sure."
"You would really not rather I send this through privately?" He thought it over for a moment.
Xanther let out a loud yawn. "Braddon, I am feeling a bit tired. Why don't I leave you two to chat, then you can fill me in later ok?" It was the perfect out that negated the need for him to choose if he wanted to divulge information before he himself had heard it. He would probably share it all with her later, but he appreciated her consideration. Since Xanther was no longer in the room, he cut the speaker and camera feed.
Thea spoke. "How much do you know about Pacifika?"
"Not a lot." Braddon admitted meekly. "I have done some reading in the last few days."
"So you would know that Pacifika is made up of many nations and tribes. When we came here centuries ago we were united in our desire to preserve this planet, and prevent a climate disaster such as that which destroyed our original home. A firm charter was made with a number of environmental outcomes that must be measured and maintained including emissions limits, waste management, biodiversity and more. However over time we became more fractured about the best way to reach these goals. Some wanted to return to their roots, live a simple self-sufficient life like their ancestors had with limited technology. Some wanted to advance, partake in galactic trade, but do so cautiously, being careful to only use technology that was compatible with our environmental goals."
"I take it the Rani tribe is from the first category?"
"Yes, they are one of the most severe outliers. They blame technology for what happened on Earth, and now want nothing to do with it. Even at great cost to their lifespan and well-being. Our laws make us unable to interfere, as long as they are meeting the environmental goals, but we have been trying to slowly encourage change in some areas, primarily medical care."
There was silence as Braddon processed what she was saying. She continued gently.
"I was there you know, when you were born. It was a very memorable day. Did you know you are one of only 3 shell-people to originate from Pacifika? Myself being one of them."
He had been wondering how a planet with such strict immigration laws had managed to get a shell-person as planetary manager.
"The fact that a member of the Rani tribe had come to the mainland in order to seek medical aid, well this in itself was extremely unusual. The fact that she had managed to hide the pregnancy for so long was astounding, considering their customs. By the time their small canoe had washed up on the docks, you were already in distress. We almost lost you both. When you were born, it was immediately obvious that you would not be able to live on Rani. Their customs would definitely not allow the technology you needed." He could hear sadness leaking into her voice. She paused, gathering herself and spoke calmly once more.
"I was the most qualified to talk to her about the shell-person program, and I desperately wanted to help you, give you a chance at the type of life that I was blessed to be able to lead. However I made some, um, miscalculations. This woman had never even seen a computer, or spoken on a comm unit, and the walls started talking to her, in her own language, when the doctors and nurses around her could barely speak a word of it. I didn't realise at first, but, well, she thought I was a God."
"Wait what?" Braddon was stunned.
"When I offered to make you like me, well she agreed far more quickly than I had anticipated. She recently came back to the mainland for basic medical training, something we have been trying to encourage more of. Her mother was her island's healer, and she is following in her footsteps. After a day I heard her calling out to me in her quarters. She was praying! Like on her knees, head bowed, the whole lot! Far out, how am I supposed to react to that? She wanted to know why she had not been able to talk to you, she wanted to know where your domain was, so that she could go visit. Expecting it to be some outer island, not that you can get much more outer than Rani..."
"Did you not explain the encapsulation process to her?" Braddon was aghast, this was not at all what he had been expecting...
"Oh of course, we explained it in great detail! As required for all new applicants, but her knowledge of technology, and medicine was extremely limited, and she was clearly terrified. She kept nodding and saying 'I understand' but she clearly didn't… I overlooked it back then, because I thought your life was more valuable than her complete consent."
Braddon was starting to feel much more worried about this visit.
"We have since attempted to explain the process more thoroughly, and slowly, using simple terms and lots of pictures. Mostly cartoonish diagrams, but a few real shots as well. She became extremely agitated in one of the sessions screaming 'you did this to my child?' We then spent a good deal of time looking at amazing achievements by shell-people from all over, trying to convince her that you are happy and well. But obviously, the best way to convince her that you are happy and well is to bring you here and let her see for herself."
"Oh." Was all he could manage to say. It was a lot to take in.
"I am sorry for my past mistakes, and I don't know how this meeting is going to go, but now you can at least be forewarned." Thea paused awkwardly.
Braddon tried to gather his thoughts, "Thank you, Thea. Thank you for seeing my life as one that was worth saving." He let out a long sigh. "I want to do right by this woman, I want to thank her for her leap of faith."
"Oh you should totally phrase it like that!"
Xanther was waiting nervously by the airlock to greet their guests. Braddon was flicking the medical bay door open and shut. Open and shut. Open and shut. He could see them walking across the shipyard. After what felt like an eternity they were on his lift. He whizzed it up without even waiting for a request. The lock was already open.
"Welcome." Xanther said before bowing deeply, as was Rani custom. Ethanya and Shala both returned her bow. For the first time Braddon longed for an avatar, that he could project a hologram to join in with this ceremony! But he was stuck with what he knew.
"I welcome you, Ethanya of the Rani Tribe." He spoke in her tongue, he had been practising, and had spent most of their approach analysing the language database that Thea had sent through. He knew his pronunciation was a bit off, but he wanted to use his regular voice and not just program in phrases for the translator to spit out.
Ethanya looked up at the sound of the voice, eyes darting around the cabin as if looking for another person.
"Where is my child?" She asked turning to Shala.
"I am here, Mother!" Braddon spoke again.
Ethanya frowned, again eyes searching the room. "I do not see him."
Shala spoke to her gently and led her to the column. "Remember the teachings? Your child's body was encased in steel!" (their culture didn't have a word for titanium) She gestured to the column. "His mind controls this vessel, he sees all that goes on within these walls."
There was an awkward silence and Braddon felt that he should say something more.
"It is an honour to meet you."
Ethanya grimaced at the sound of his voice. His accent must sound terrible to a native speaker. "This is not my son." She was shaking her head as tears started to run down her face. "This is a trick, you think I am a fool! How am I to believe that the ship of this, this, fire haired witch, is my child?!"
"We would not lie to you." Shala pleaded, holding on to Ethanya's hand.
Ethanya yanked her hand away. "You already have!" She spat and stormed out of the airlock.
"My deepest apologies." Shala mumbled with a quick bow before racing after Ethanya who was already halfway down the stairs.
Xanther was left standing there with jaw wide. "Well, that could have gone better." She muttered.
"Yeah." Braddon said glumly. Of course she wouldn't recognise me! It was stupid to even hope… But I got to see her at least? Thoughts stampeded through his head as he tried to decide what to do next. How could he convince her? There had to be something he could use.
Braddon sent out a tight beam to Dr Rice. She was in a meeting, but he stubbornly stayed on hold until she was ready to speak to him. When she finally came into view she looked disgruntled.
"Braddon, next time can you please make an appointment?"
"Sure, of course, it's just, this is kind of urgent."
"I see this message is originating from Pacifika? I'm a little disappointed that you didn't check in before racing off there."
"Well, like you said. You gave me a clean bill of health, I was confident I could handle it."
"So, you decided to call me up, and wait on hold for," She glanced at her watch, "2 hours, so you could gloat about how well it all went?" She asked sarcastically.
"Not exactly."
Dr. Rice let out a deep sigh. "I am truly sorry to hear that." She said finally.
"I am not seeking counselling for a freshly broken ego, I am calling you in order to ask a favour."
Her eyebrows rose in curiosity. "What sort of favour?"
"My mother, she doesn't believe that I am her son. She thinks we are deceiving her, and she is not the type to be convinced by paperwork which she is not even able to read. I know you have access to footage that ties my physical body to this ship. Footage that we could show her, that might convince her that I am indeed her son."
Dr. Rice's frown deepened and was shaking her head slowly. "You can't mean… you can't mean you want me to send you footage of what Pacifica did to you?!"
"That is exactly what I am asking." He tried to sound confident and sure, but the thought of seeing that footage terrified him.
"Surely there are images from your original encapsulation?"
"They don't tie me to this ship. My first shell looked nothing like this vessel." Her eyes were scrunched shut as she massaged her temple.
"I'm going to need to think about this Braddon, I will call you back tomorrow."
"Thank you. For hearing me out at least. I trust you to make the right decision."
He immediately regretted throwing her words back at her, he didn't want to come off as passive aggressive, but oh well, it was done now. He cut the link before she could lecture him.
Early the next day he received a transmission from Dr. Rice. "I will not send you footage of that incident, however, I have carefully selected a still image that has the highest clarity and possibility to be used for identification. Let me know how it goes."
Due to the disaster that was their initial meeting, it was decided that the second attempt would be via a video link to one of the rooms at the hospital. Braddon had carefully stored the image from Dr. Rice still in its encrypted form; he didn't want to look at it before the meeting.
Ethanya sat arms crossed defensively across her chest. Shala sat next to her looking nervous and uncomfortable at the tension.
Braddon spoke in standard, and allowed Shala to translate, realising that his previous attempt to bridge the gap might have been having the opposite effect. "I want to show you something, this is a picture that was taken of me, of my real body. I hope you can understand that it is me. I hope you can understand how thankful I am for the huge risk you took."
He sent the image.
It was at that moment that Braddon saw himself for the first time. He was tiny, his growth deliberately stunted to prevent the need of upgrading into larger and larger shells, he was probably not much bigger now, than when his mother used to hold him in her arms. The first thing he saw was the wires, fanning out from his head, tubes protruding from his mouth, nose, chest. Things were a bit distorted viewed through the oxygen rich jelly that encased him, but it was clear that his skin was a rich chocolate, that looked like it had been kissed by the sun, ironic as he had spent years hidden away in the dark. His limbs were hard to make out, but they didn't look like they had the correct proportions, he might have been missing a few fingers. His eyes were shut tight, wait no, there was something else… If I could only look into your eyes. Braddon remembered her words clearly. Pacifica never got her wish, for his sockets were empty, nothing to see, nothing to be seen.
Ethanya's eyes went wide as she uncrossed her arms and leaned closer to the screen "My baby!" she reached out and touched the screen tenderly. Braddon braced himself expecting to hear something along the lines of "What have you done to him? You monsters!" Instead she fell to her knees sobbing "My baby lives! my beautiful baby is alive, my child survived!"
Braddon triple checked the translation, yes there was no mistaking it, she had just called him beautiful, not just him the child she once held in her arms, but him the adult full of wires and oxygen rich jelly, beautiful. Braddon was stunned. Pacifica's face emerged in his memories You Monster! He changed the memory, and yelled back in her face "Shut it Pacifica, You are the Monster! I am beautiful!"
His attention was pulled back to the present, his mother had turned to face the screen with a live feed of his cabin. "My child, my child? Does it hurt, are you in pain?"
"No mother." Braddon replied in her native tongue.
He saw the relief wash over her. "My child, my child? Are you happy?"
He had never before wanted to embrace someone this much, he saw tears trickling down Xanther's face. Tears that he longed to be able to shed.
"Yes mother! My life is rich and full!"
"My child is alive, I did the right thing." She turned, grabbing Shala, embracing her, and placing her wet sticky face on her chest.
"My beautiful child is happy, I did the right thing, I did the right thing."
After the meeting Braddon took some time to gather his thoughts, his feelings were all jumbled, erratic, but it was not the same as the panic he had become so used to. It was warmer, lighter, yet still chaotic. He knew what he looked like, a rare privilege, something that not many brains could claim. He re-examined the image of his body. He slowly cut off all of his sensors, one by one, until he only had the audio from his Helva unit deep in his shell. He tried to feel his body, gain some awareness of its imperfections. He listened to his heart beat, a feint calm smooth rhythmic thump, regulated by the life support system. He focussed, on his limbs, his chest, his lips, but in the end he felt nothing. He stayed in the darkness for a moment longer, and whispered through his innermost speaker "You are beautiful" before slowly bringing up his sensors once more. The darkness hadn't scared him, choosing to close your eyes is very different to having them taped shut. Acceptance, that is what he was feeling, for so long he had fought with the notion of his physical form, a hindrance, a weakness, unsightly, disgraceful. A sense of calm acknowledged, then washed away those thoughts. That is me he thought, while conjuring an image of the small stunted child, and this is me, he drew up an image of his strong metallic hull. I cannot have one without the other. Together they are complete.
You are the one who gets to choose how to display your humanity. Simeon's old words echoed through his memories. Braddon had an idea, his mother had given him a huge gift, her kind words meant more to him than gold. He wanted to do something to thank her. She knew little of technology, but had been doing her best to learn. He wanted to make it easier for her, if only a little. He wanted to try and bridge the gap between their experiences, he wanted to create an avatar. The thought still scared him, he had resisted it for so long, but now, finally, he wanted to try.
"Um, Thea?"
"Yes Braddon?"
"Do you have any medical files for relatives of Euthenya?"
"Braddon, you know they would be restricted"
"Yes, no, of course, I am not interested in their contents, just images, are there any images publically available of people related to Ethanya? The more the better."
"Accessing." there was a brief pause. "Not of anyone living, the people of Rani have a bit of a taboo around photographs of the living. Images are taken at most funerals, to preserve the memories of loved ones lost."
"These are available for public access?"
"They are to those with an ancestry claim. Sending your way."
A data stream started flowing into his memory banks, hundreds of faces surrounded by flowers, with their eyes firmly shut.
"Do you require names, age, lineage, or any other information?"
"Not right now Thea, these images are perfect thank you."
"Let me see what you create ok?"
Any other day he might have been irritated by how easily she had seen through his plan, but right now he just wanted to get to work. He started to sift through the images, he didn't immediately discount the female faces, but he wanted them to be a much smaller part of the mix. Thankfully most of the faces that went flashing by were older, encased with wrinkles and all the wisdom that they entailed. He didn't feel wise. One day, maybe. Of the 6000 odd images Thea had sent over 4% were in the age range he was after, which still left a huge number of images to choose from. He went through all the women first, discarding most, but keeping a few which looked similar to his mother. Then the men, he flicked through the images quickly. Yes, no, yes, yes, yes, no, yes, no, no don't think about it too hard, don't pause for too long, go on instinct, if you hate the result you can always try again. After this process he had 352 images in the yes stack. He went through them once more, discarding a few outliers. When he was done he layered them all on top of each other, breaking them down into eigenvectors, base building blocks of which he could adjust the weightings. He went over each section of his new face tweaking, adjusting. He paused to admire his work. He desperately wanted to show his mother, but first he wanted to run it by Xanther. Maybe it is a stupid idea, maybe she will be offended? Maybe he should just scrap the whole thing… No, just see what Xanther thinks for now, a second opinion couldn't hurt that much could it?
He requested access to Xanther's quarters.
"Enter, Braddon, you alright? You have been a mite quiet."
"Yeah, sorry, I was busy working on something, do you want to come see?"
The holo projectors were better in the main cabin. He displayed his new likeness and waited for Xanther to make her entrance.
She paused in the doorway instantly seeing the image, she blinked looking it up and down as a smile crept onto her face. "Wow, is that you?"
"Yeah, well, an image of what I might have looked like."
"I never knew you had a genetic extrapolation made."
She wandered over and stood opposite the projection. They were about the same height.
"I didn't."
Xanther crossed her arms and cocked her head, a quizzical look on her face.
"Then what am I looking at?"
"I got Thea to send over images of a large number of Rani people. I did my own extrapolation of sorts."
Xanther snorted, "Of course you did!" She smiled once more.
"It's not too much? The eyes I mean…"
Braddon had left the eye sockets bare, a true reflection of his actual body. An avatar was meant to help facilitate communication, however people often responded strongly when confronted with physical deformities. Pacifica had taught him that, and Pol had also told him stories. He didn't want to make others uncomfortable, but he also wanted to be honest, to show something of his true self.
Xanther answered quickly. "You never needed eyes before, you see just fine without them."
Braddon couldn't help but chuckle.
She continued, "Seriously, you made this to talk with your mother right?"
"Yeah, mostly."
"Then it's perfect. She will recognise you right away. I'm sure she would love to see you all grown up."
He thought it over. What she was saying made sense.
"Just cause you made an avatar, doesn't mean you have to use it with everyone we meet. You get by just fine without. And if anyone is bothered by it, well that is their problem, not yours."
Showing Xanther was the right move, he was feeling much more secure in his plan.
"So, let's see what you can do!"
"Do?"
"You know, give a wave, say something, walk around." Xanther had folded her arms, ready to give a critique.
"Oh, right, um." Braddon had been so focused on generating the image he hadn't even thought about movement… He quickly went about writing some constraints to prevent any limbs flying off and awkwardly raised a hand in a pathetic attempt at a wave. It was stiff, unnatural.
Xanther burst into laughter.
"Hey now! This is more difficult than it looks!"
"Sorry, it's just," she wiped a tear from her eye, "you have watched me wander round this cabin for the last 3 years, and that is the best you can do?"
"Watching hundreds of games of soccer doesn't make someone a pro athlete." He grumbled. "I just need a little practice."
The next meeting with his mother went much more smoothly than the first. She was enthralled by his avatar, and tried to touch it multiple times, each time a little less startled when her hand simply passed through. With a bit of help from Xanther, Braddon had managed to figure out some simple gestures, and had downloaded a speech data pack so that he didn't need to waste time learning all the complex mouth movements needed to mimic speech. She told him of his family, of their culture and home. He told her of his childhood, travels, and shared some of his art. He had found a piece of his life, that he didn't realise had been missing, and hoped dearly that they would continue to send messages after he left.