Chapter 10: Tetraphobia

But through all of that sorrow

We were riding high

And the truth of the matter is

I never let you go, let you go

Of all the days to get morning sickness, why did it have to be this one?!

Lucien woke up spilling out everything he had for dinner last night on the sink. He threw up two more times again in the shower and felt nauseous when the scent of food reached him.

'This has to be the bond!' He thought to himself as he bent over the wastebasket really to spill again.

Why? Why today?! He didn't care about this! He made peace with it! Elain could have a harem if she pleased and he wouldn't give a damn! All he wanted to do was be at peace and enjoy the upcoming celebrations with his family.

He glanced at Tamlin who was still deep in slumber. His chest hurt upon realizing his beloved wolf had gone through all this on his own without daring to tell him or the others.

'I should've known, should've cared for you better.'

Brushing a strand of gold hair woke him up. He smiled drowsily at him until he saw his state. "Luce, sweetheart what's wrong?!"

"Nothing, darling. It's just the broken bond acting up. Sorry, I woke you."

"Don't say sorry. I'll get you something from Lea's lab, maybe some soup too."

"No, don't bother Azalea. I'm fine, I'll just skip breakfast." He told him, feeling the nausea dissipate but a headache coming on.

"At least let's have some lunch and afterward you can have some medicine, okay?"

"Okay."

Tamlin opened up his arms and pulled him into a hug. Gentle, tight, and comforting. He always loved being held like that.

He melted into Tamlin's loving hug and for a while, there was no pain. A part of him wanted to laugh. How could he ever think things could work between him and Elaine? Bond or no bond, his true soulmate was currently beside him, and nothing would make Lucien ever let him go again.

"You really caused a lot of trouble you cheeky rascal," Azalea said as she gently held onto the shrunken kraken.

He didn't fight her and was even affectionate as she comforted him while Cedric took a blood sample.

"I still can't believe you and Lord Tarquin fought this one. They're usually quite big."

"Well, this one was bigger than normal. Not to mention that symbol...I'm still mad we didn't find any explanation for it!"

"Dead languages are pain, your late sister must've told you that."

"Yes, she often did. I didn't think you'd be into linguistics too."

"Anything that keeps me away from social events is worth studying." He said half-jokingly half serious.

The second youngest Vanserra often kept his expression neutral, but every once in a while he'd crack a joke. From the time spent with him, Azalea could tell he was not very social but made up for that with intelligence that rivaled hers and Daphne's.

It had been a week since she fought a Kraken in Summer before her proposal. Most of her time had been spent meeting court members and slowly moving her things to the Summer Palace. It was likely these would be some of her last projects carried out in Rosehall's lab. 'It's okay. This isn't goodbye, it's just a break. I'll be back to visit."

"Hmmm, interesting. Miss Ambrose, pass me the third tome of the ancient beasts' encyclopedia."

She complied. Cedric's dark gold eyes narrowed and then went wide. "Those fuckers..."

"Language, what did you get?"

"The symbol that the Night Court used wasn't to control the Kraken but rather they turned back time for him, devolving him into a prehistoric state. This is why he wasn't aggressive but rather skittish and why his size grew. Had you not taken him down before he reached the city it is likely he would've destroyed it."

Destruction was the perfect excuse to get to give the court over to Rhysand so that he could manage it. It was so clear to her now, he wanted to unleash creatures into the court to cause havoc and then paint himself as the savior who'd take on the reconstruction burden.

'He just doesn't register that none of us trust him nor want him.'

"We have to look for barrier spells. He is going to try this again..."

"I think so too. I'll look through the Autumn library and let you know what I find. That is if Nemesis didn't thrash the library."

"How is he?"

"Bad. According to the nurses father's condition is improving. He had a meltdown and Eris had to sedate him before he cracked his head open. I think the pillar still has a blood splat."

She winced. Those who knew nothing about medicine or mental health often dismissed the second prince of Autumn as a madman, but she along with his brothers knew better. From what little she'd heard of his condition it was clear that Nemesis had PTSD, schizophrenia, and self-injury disorder. The man had been nothing but nice to her when he went to Autumn which added to the sadness.

"I'll get Mama to make some herbal teas and pastries, make sure he has some."

"I will. Don't worry, things have changed enough to have us taking care of each other. Eris and I won't let him break."

That she knew she could trust. Azalea wrote down everything they'd discovered and stashed it with the rest of her notes. "We can continue this later. I have to get to Summer soon."

Cedric raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Can't bear to be away from your merman."

"Watch it four eyes! Just wait until you get engaged, I won't leave you alone about it!"

He laughed but said nothing else. Cedric opened the door only to be greeted with the sight of the Summer Lord's smile.

"Azalea your betrothed is here. That's my cue to leave." He bowed to Tarquin muttering a 'your majesty' and then slipped out of the lab.

"He's such a gremlin, but also a great lab partner." She commented while removing her lab gear. "Time to go already?"

"Not quite. The ball does not start until nightfall, but I did want to come to fetch you and your mothers beforehand. I have some surprises for everyone."

"I love the sound of that. Let me pick up our little pet here and we may be on our way!"

The moment they all arrived in Summer there were people ready to pick up the Kraken and return him to the aquarium, take her bags, and escort both she and Tarquin to the ballroom.

Her beloved High Lord had a smile on his lips as they reached the entrance.

"Since our engagement is meant to join not just us but our courts I wanted the party to represent that too. So I employed some help."

The doors were opened for her and she stepped into the prettiest ballroom anyone had ever seen. The white marble pillars were decorated with green and blue sparking streams, there were various flower bouquets placed near the tables and on the entrances, seashell decorations were strung around over the tall windows, and the Chandelier lights were magically lit with interchangeable rainbow colors.

Her mothers, Tarquin's parents, Tamarand, Clare, Varian, and Cresseida were putting the finishing touches on the decorations.

"It's so beautiful! I love it!" She beamed.

"I'm glad to hear it. Before you go get ready there's someone that wants to speak with you. She's out in the garden.

Azalea had an idea of who he meant, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw Violet waiting for her by the chrysanthemums. The woman wore a suit and black heels. Azalea wouldn't voice it but she oftentimes thought that's how she'd look at their wedding.

"I see the squid didn't turn you into its snack."

"And I see you didn't wash up bloated and green."

The two laughed. She'd missed those dark jokes even after that had happened. Violet didn't hesitate to open up her arms for a hug, and Azalea didn't hesitate to give one to her.

"I missed you."

"Me too."

"How's everything?"

"I can't complain. As you can see a lot has happened."

"Yeah, never thought I'd see the day you would want to leave Spring."

"Don't mistake me sweetie. If I could, I would never leave Spring, but this alliance carries too much weight for me to refuse it. It goes beyond me and my wishes, this for both the courts."

Violet's hazel eyes studied her for a moment. She then smiled. "Something tells me this goes beyond just an alliance. You love the High Lord, don't you?"

"Yes. I absolutely love him."

"Not a seconds hesitation, you really are down bad. That's good. I wouldn't dare leave you here if you weren't."

She chuckled. "I thought I told you I'm not one for running away."

Violet shrugged. "That's fair. Actually, it's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.

The night I left, I was mad and impulsive, and reckless. I didn't say goodbye to you or to my family and then the war came and...I thought you were all gone."

She pulled the taller woman into a hug. "Shhh, it's okay. It was quick. They all knew you were just chasing your dreams. Trust me they were fine and never held it against you...Don't cry, sweetie. Everything's fine."

"You're still good at comfort," Violet told her as she wiped her tears away. "I was wrong for being so cruel. For just leaving like that and for being dismissive towards your dreams.

Just because we wanted different things it didn't mean I had to be so harsh. The truth is that while I don't share your dream I think it's wonderful that you want to be married and have children. I'm certain you'll be an excellent wife and mother and an even better Lady of Summer."

"Thank you. I'm certain you'll be a famous Corsair and bring fortune to us all. If anyone can rage against the ocean it's you."

"Thanks, beautiful. I'm honored to have your support."

"Always."

"Did Tamarand cry when you told him?"

"Nah he just shattered windows. He is now on board. I know he'll be fine in time."

"Good, the last thing we need is a giant wolf swimming from Spring to Summer on the daily."

"You'll have to catch him with your net and keep him with the booty!"

They both had a fit of laughter, the nicknames, the jokes, the soft afternoon air, it all made her nostalgic. Violet took her hand and Azalea kissed hers. This was the last time they'd be Azalea Ambrose and Violet Reed, two women in love with great plans for the future. Once this small moment ended they'd go back to the lives they had now, and the one they'd once looked forward to would be forever left behind.

The pair hugged, watching the sun go down. When the stars came out, their return to the past ended. Azalea kept from crying as Violet gave her a tight hug that picked her off the ground. She'd missed that. However, she couldn't help but cry as the taller woman bent down to kiss her forehead one last time. "Until the next life, your majesty."

"Until the next life, Captain Reed."

She walked back inside as Violet left through the garden gate. They both turned back to look at the other, just not at the same time.

When she returned, the ballroom was almost done, save for a few ornaments that Clare was hanging high. The banshee slipped and fell off the ladder but was caught by Tamarand. They both looked bashful due to the event, like something out of her romance books.

'Hmm, maybe Tam won't be lonely once I move.' Azalea thought with a smile.

"How was it?" Tarquin asked as he joined her. "Are you feeling well?"

"I'm perfect. Thanks for that. I'm sorry if I never mentioned her or the others."

He raised a hand. "Don't apologize for having a life before me, nor for loving others. I'm well aware as to the amazing sought out woman I'm marrying. It's obvious you'd have history.

That being said, I'll make sure to be the last man in said history, I intend to have you for the rest of our lives."

"The feeling is mutual, my lord." She told him before giving him a soft kiss on the lips." Now let's get ready. We have an engagement ball to host!"

He woke up to one of Lucien's soft kisses and smiled. Tamlin could get used to this

The two were taking things slow, and he had no complaints about it, even if sometimes he was tempted to kiss Lucien in a less innocent manner.

'Stop, don't overwhelm him! He just broke off the mating bond and it's already bothering him.'

This morning he'd woken up to see that the redhead had nausea and wasn't able to eat much during lunch either. They both remained behind resting until it was time to prepare for the party.

"Had a good nap?"

"I did. What about you? No more nausea?"

"Not for now. I'll start getting ready, you should do the same. Already picked out something for you."

"Yes yes, you and your fashion obsession...I can't believe none of us noticed you were Helion's son before!"

"Heh, Mother had that secret well hidden. Perhaps not too much though, it's likely Beron knew, it would explain a lot."

He gave Lucien a gentle hug. "Don't think about him. Tonight is meant to be a happy occasion. I'll help you get ready."

Lucien was dressed in a gold tunic with white pants and gold brown boots. Tamlin braided his hair, slightly tempted to undo all their work, undress him, and have him whenever the redhead sighed at the feel of his hands upon his head. Still, he managed to control himself. After the braid was done he gently put on him the gold hair ornaments Helion had sent him from the Day Court. Lucien looked like a High Lord, one of Autumn, Spring, and Day.

"You look lovely."

"You just say that because you love me."

"I do, but you're still lovely."

"Thank you. Now it's your turn to look lovely."

True to his word, Lucien made sure he looked presentable. His blue long coat had gold trims, his white shirt and collar were put into place by Lucien, and the black pants he wore completed the look.

"I remember the night you gave me this. It was after Dorevan had a breakdown and Mother sent me to Autumn."

"Yes. Beron was feeling generous enough to allow it. I think it was the first time you came to visit."

They were in their teens and he'd noticed Tamlin was distraught even after arriving. His best friend only lit up upon seeing him and was quiet throughout the entire tour.

"Tam, it's okay. You're here with me, not them."

"I know it's just...what if he tries to get me here? What if you're put in danger?"

"I'd fight him if he trespassed. I'm not letting anyone hurt you."

"Luce, I can't allow you to be put in danger because of me!"

"I'd do anything for you. So please, don't feel guilty."

He smiled. Reassured yet still a little paranoid. Lucien noticed and took his hand, guiding him to his room and handing him a pretty box.

"I was going to give this to you at a different time but maybe now it'll serve you well. I had the tailors make it with your measurements and favorite color in mind."

He gasped as he opened his box and saw the dark blue silk coat perfectly folded. It was just like that of his favorite book character.

"It's beautiful. Oh, thank you so much, Luce! I don't think anyone else knows me as well as you!"

"I'll do well to keep that honor then."

After finding out about his brother's condition moments like this made sense, but even years after his death Tamlin sometimes woke at the slightest noise or sped through what once was Dorevan's room.

The fear remained but so did the love because he now still wore the token Lucien had given him that night. Sure, he often had to have it tailored as he grew taller and muscular but it was a small inconvenience compared to the safety he felt whenever he wore the garment.

Despite that, he did prefer to have Lucien by his side for comfort. The redhead brushed his long hair and tied it into a ponytail.

"There, all done. You're a dream come true."

"Hush, I'll turn red."

"You look cute when you blush."

"Nooooo, Luce c'mon I don't want to show up red to the ball!"

"Hmm, too bad. I want everyone to know that the former Lord of Spring is mine."

"Luce! I'm the possessive one in this relationship!"

"No, my wolf. We both are."

He wouldn't dispute that.

Lucien wasn't one to arrive late to events but getting ready and winnowing to Summer took time. The ball had already started and he could see guests from the large windows.

By the time they reached the gate Tamlin was trembling, his heartbeat was racing and he wanted nothing more than to turn back and run away. 'You can't. This is for Azalea, this is for your family, and for the court, you have to do it!'

He felt Lucien wrapping his hand around his. He raised it up to kiss it, staring at him with nothing but adoration and tenderness. "It's fine if you want to leave."

"I...I can't. I owe her this much at least, she's my little sister and...I don't want to fail my family."

"Tamlin, they'll understand."

"I know, but still. I just can't leave without trying."

"Alright, we'll congratulate them, have a dance and then leave. Don't worry. I'll be with you."

Lucien's sweet smile was all the encouragement he needed. Tamlin took a breath as they both walked in. True to their word, his family had outdone themselves in decorating. There was a live orchestra, many tables with food, and an atmosphere perfect for a romantic waltz.

Lucien looked for their family and found them almost instantly. To his delight, they were all together.

Helion and Imogen were dressed in the finest white silks of Day. The togas were short-sleeved and ankle-length but pristine and flowy adorned with gold jewelry. Eris and Nemesis were there too in matching red suits, for once his older brother seemed somewhat calm, leaning on Eris as they listened to their mother talk. He couldn't see Cedric anywhere so that meant he was either at home or reading under one of the tables with a long cloth.

Tamarand was dressed in a bright green suit and his usually wild hair had been perfectly combed for the celebration. His mothers were wearing green dresses, Asteria's was a short-sleeved mermaid cut and skin tight while Opehlia'a was a puffy yet elegant long-sleeve dress. The plump woman hadn't braided her hair for the occasion and instead, the curls flowed down her back freely. She looked like an older version of her daughter. Clare was dressed in white and pastel green, she had a sunflower upon her head, a puffy green dress with white accents and she was smiling brightly. Lucien thought their friend looked like a princess.

Finally, there was the soon-to-be-married couple. Tarquin was dressed in the finest High Lord attire Summer could offer. The baby blue color was contrasted by the silver trimmings of the coat and of his crown of jewels, pearls, and shells, he let his long white hair flow freely down his back and his arm wrapped around Azalea's waist. The middle Ambrose child had her hair brown curled and intertwined with white flowers, and topped with a colorful flower crown with every bloom that could be found in Spring. Her dress was teal and flowy and also had flowers embroidered in it, though from what he could see there were pearls on the sleeves and on her necklace too. A perfect combination of both her usual fashion and that of Summer.

"There are my brothers! Over here!"

Azalea waved to them, which allowed Tamlin to relax even more. After hugs and greetings were exchanged he felt as if he was back home.

"Congratulations to you both! We're very happy to know you're engaged and in love. Do take care of each other."

"That a promise, Lucien. And while it goes without saying, you and Tamlin are welcome to visit us and stay here forever you want for as long as you want."

"Thank you."

Neither spoke much after that, they listened to the wedding plans and laughed whenever Ophelia would inquire about grandchildren. They were soon joined by Tarquin's parents and cousins, who also wanted to know when they would meet the future babies.

'Good luck with that you too.' Tamlin thought.

He felt Lucien gently pull him toward the dance floor. One of their favorite songs was being played, and he wanted to dance.

The waltz they had back in Spring a few weeks ago had been close to perfect but that was them in an empty ballroom with their friends and family. This was his first high society party after ever locking himself away for his failures.

Had he said no, Lucien wouldn't have fought him, but he couldn't deny the man that joy, not when his arm around his waist and pretty smile were enough to make him weak.

"Hold on to me Tam," Lucien whispered in his ear as they began to dance.

That smooth voice would probably compel him to walk through glass if asked to. Tamlin straighten up, following every step as intended.

Lucien felt as if the blonde was trying to seduce him. Tamlin's hands were all over him while they danced, he pulled him close enough so that he could feel the other's heartbeat against him. Their lips brushed several times through the dance, yet they pulled away before they could kiss.

Tamlin spun Lucien around before pulling him close again. "After all these years, you still move seductively."

"Oh? I wasn't trying to seduce you, but I'm glad it worked." Lucien teased. "You're not bad yourself. It's thrilling to have you carry me again. Makes me feel so sought after."

Lucien gasped as Tamlin performed the dip of the dance, letting him go down and pulling him back up. "Like that?" Tamlin whispered deeply against him.

"Oh fuck yes!" He admitted trying to keep his blush from betraying him.

They kept on moving along with the music. Not caring for anyone or anything else. The last notes of the songs began to play, and they finished their dance in unison. One glance was enough for them both to act on what had been building for months.

Tamlin pulled Lucien by the waist while Lucien wrapped his arms around Tamlin's neck. The kiss was deep, passionate, and needy. For a moment Lucien thought he would fall over, but Tamlin wouldn't let him go.

It had been long since they last kissed. At least, that they could remember. Both of them were painfully aware of the ache that their true last kiss had brought them.

"I loved you."

"I loved you too."

Tamlin blocked the memory, this wasn't a painful farewell kiss but rather a craved and awaited one. He was tempted to never let go of his dear fox.

Lucien too wanted nothing more than to stay this way but he knew that if they did then temptation might overwhelm them and he would pin Tamlin to the nearest surface and take him right then and there.

"I missed your lips."

"Only my lips Luce?"

"No, I missed all of you."

"As did I. Should we call it a night?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll go get some food and we can go home. Do you want anything?"

"I'm hungry for cinnamon."

Lucien turned red and looked away. That was what the blonde said whenever he wanted him.

"You'll get your treat soon. Wait for me outside, I'll be right with you."

Lucien kissed Tamlin's forehead and went to the food table to get some sweets. Eating so little during lunch began taking its toll. He had a few shrimps and took a small plate for sweets to share with Tamlin, but he didn't get to pick it up, as before he could do so the nausea and headache returned, and the scent of roses was why.

Elain was standing beside him, dressed in a long pink gown with puffy sleeves and pink roses in her hair. "Hi, Lucien."

He tried to keep calm and respectful but just hearing her voice was going to make him vomit. "Good evening, Elain."

"Leaving already? I was hoping I could talk to you."

He scoffed. "You and I have nothing to talk about. I was very clear with your sister the last time we spoke. Now if you'll excuse me, I have someone waiting for me."

Elain held onto his wrist. "It'll just be a moment. Please, Lucien, I want to make it up to you."

"You don't need to make it up to me. I don't care about you anymore Elain, do as you wish. Be alone, be with someone, hate me, be neutral towards me, I don't fucking care anymore. So let me go."

"Please don't cut ties with me for what Feyre did! She's very remorseful and wants to talk to you too! I just want to explain myself, Luce."

"Do not call me that!" He told her. His voice wasn't loud enough to be a shout but it was getting close.

Every moment spent here was suffocating, he wanted to run but knew that doing so would only cause a scene. It was the last thing he or his friends needed.

"Sorry! I just...You didn't give me any time! I had to let go of so much! My life, my friends, my husband-to-be! Yet you still came back to Night with Feyre wanting to be close and I...I panicked!"

The suffocating air of the room and the acidic feeling in his stomach vanished, instead all he could was laugh.

"You? You panicked?! No, Elain. Don't play dumb games with me, I'm centuries older than you.

I can understand that after what you Nesta went through you'd need time to heal. That I can respect. But the truth of the matter is that regardless of our feelings on the bond it was made and it had to be acknowledged. I didn't need you to be close to me immediately. I just wanted to let you know what this entailed, what it meant, and for you to tell me if there would ever be any chance of us becoming more than what we were.

If you wanted time to think about it, if your answer was no or never then that is perfectly fine. I just wanted you to communicate with me! Frankly, I don't know why I didn't give up sooner, I wasn't about to spend 30 decades just begging to be acknowledged by you. Every letter, every gift, every visit, it was all a waste of time. So, no Elain. I don't believe for a second that you panicked, because the moment your sanity returned you could've well told me to take a hike and I would've listened. The only reason you seek me out now it's because Rhysand told you to. I know your kind.

For the record, I didn't go to the Night Court just for your sake, I went to make sure your sister made it back in one piece. There was a time in my life when I thought we were friends and that as a friend I had failed her. Seems like it was the other way around.

Leave me alone Elaine, I want nothing to do with you, or with your court."

"Is this because of Tamlin?"

Had he been a banshee like Claire his head would've turned 180 degrees. Nevertheless, his abrupt glare at her and the glow in his russet eye was enough to make Elaine take a step back.

"No. It isn't, but it should be. Because I can't count the nights I spent thinking how I almost gave up on the love of my life for you, and your avoidance, and your court who did nothing but use me!

I shouldn't have left Spring, these past two months have made that very clear, so as far as it concerns you, yes this is about Tamlin. It's about how I absolutely love that man and refuse to let any of you harm him again!"

"That's not necessary. He doesn't have much time left either way."

He would've asked her what she meant if Azalea hadn't rushed toward them. "Luci, thank the Mother I found you!

I can't find Lin, no one knows where he is! I thought you two went back to Spring..."

No, no, no! This was probably their plan, to get him away from Tamlin and then hurt him. Lucien cursed himself for being so stupid, and the damn bond that kept giving him migraines and pain.

He glared at Elain, not moving an inch closer but lowering his height slightly. "Pray he is alive and well, or I'll burn every single one of you down to the last atom!"

Before Tamlin could step out the door there were three dark figures blocking his way. Winged, leather-clad figures he'd grown to fear and hate with time. Rhysand stepped out of the shadows first.

"If it isn't the fallen High Lord of Spring. What made you crawl out of your cave?"

"Go fuck yourself Rhysand, I don't want to speak to you."

He tried to walk past the Illiryan, but the man gripped his shoulder tightly. "I don't take orders from a has-been who nearly led to the Spring Court's permanent collapse."

"Then you don't take orders from your High Lady then."

"You have no right to even speak about her after what you did! Besides it's not like it was her duty to look after people that Amarantha cursed, or am I wrong?"

He shouldn't listen, much less to Rhysand, but Tamlin couldn't deny that his failures still chased him despite his progress.

"I am no longer the High Lord of Spring and for good reason. I've made peace with those I've wronged. Now get out of my way or I'll fight the three of you!"

This time Cassian was the one to laugh. "Fucking up the court even after it's taken from you? Rhys you were right, he is beyond fixing!

You don't want your little tantrums to ruin your little brother's work, do you? Poor Lord Ambrose already has his hands full and gave up his sister to Summer and now you want to fight us and risk a tussle with Night. Selfish as always."

He glanced at Tamarand who was dancing with Claire, Varian, and Cresseida. The little group was chatting and joking, likely also strengthening the bonds between their courts by being so close together.

Cassian was right. He couldn't risk his siblings' peaceful rule by unleashing Night upon their court again. So he relented, for now at least.

"It shouldn't have had to happen. The Ambroses shouldn't have to carry the burden for you. That was your duty. I highly doubt this Lady of Summer business will help your sister. She's already anxious and yet thanks to you she must do even more now." Azriel's words stung, even if the shadowsinger was the calmest of them all.

His eyes went to Azalea, who was sitting down with Tarquin taking off her shoes for a moment. She didn't look exhausted but he'd learned to read her moods. It was likely that by the time the party ended, she would be.

"Azalea is perfectly capable of understanding what choice she made. I fully trust her to know her limits and make them clear to her husband.

Tamarand has been clear with me during our time together, and he is going to be a better High Lord than I ever was because he relishes helping others and learning. Perhaps this wasn't the road meant for him, but unlike me, he is taking it so well.

Don't diminish my family. They're much stronger than either of us."

"Pity, you never spoke of me that way."

Feyre came to join them, dressed in a long black dress that left little to the imagination. At some point in his life, he would've appreciated the sight, but nowadays he found it painful to look at her or speak her name. It was one of the few guilts he would never shake.

"I spoke of you highly often. You didn't listen or care.

I'm not going to ask again. Let me leave."

"Leaving alone? Weren't you going to ruin Lucien's night as well?"

Again he didn't take a swing at Rhysand because he wanted to keep things civil between the courts. Still, hearing Lucien's name come out of Rhysand's lips was revolting.

He looked to the food table where Lucien was, Elaine was heading his way and the redhead looked as if he was repulsed just by being near her.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was so enamored with her and tried too hard to be closer, now the breaking of the bond has them both sickly and in pain. I thought that if you cared for anyone's pain, you'd care for his. But I was wrong, you don't care about anyone"

He stepped closer to Feyre in a rage, eyes glowing green and hands turning to clawed beastly paws. "Don't you ever dare say I don't care about him! If you were so invested in this mating bond, perhaps it would've been better to not mess with Lucien's hope and try to string him around!

You're the one causing your sister pain. One would think you'd learn your lesson after losing another!"

She looked genuinely hurt by those words before turning to rage and slapping him hard across the face. He didn't care, he meant every single word.

Rhysand sank his claws into his shoulder again, this time deep enough to draw crescents of blood. "You are so in denial, aren't you?!

Lucien got a home in Velaris, a kind beautiful mate, and an embassy for humans back in the mortal lands and he's throwing all of that away for you!

Spending his whole life sacrificing for you isn't the fate he should have. But you don't care, you never did! Two months he's been wasting away beside your useless self because you're too much of a mess to survive alone! Do you think he doesn't miss his real friends?! That he doesn't want to ease the pain this broken bond is causing him?! You are in his way! You've always been!

Then again, what can we expect from Amrantha's mate? The gods know who we deserve, that's why they mated you to a monster!"

"It makes sense, he's angry he got mated to that bitch, so now no one else can have a mating bond." Cassian spat.

There was a sharp pain in his stomach at the mention of what he'd broken and buried long ago. Amarantha's name and pitch-black gaze haunted his nightmares as much as Rhysand's purple one.

He wanted to argue, to say that if anyone was at fault for this it was them. That he knew how horrible they'd been to the man who risked his life for the safety of their High Lady. That Lucien had reassured him and so had his family.

The words wouldn't leave him. Because his throat went tight at the thought that they might be right.

He'd seen the joy in Lucien's eye when he went back to his manor with the band of exiles, his deep commitment to Elaine, and how happy he was at the start only to slowly lose hope. Who was to say that the girl was wary of him because Lucien never abandoned him? Who's to say he wasn't being possessive of the man that had burdened himself to care for him all through their lives? He didn't have to, he shouldn't have, Tamlin had loved him from the moment they first met, yet in the end he'd done nothing more than cause him pain.

The Ambroses were no exception. They were the family he'd craved for centuries, but they shouldn't have had to come to him. Tamarand should've been free to enjoy the rebuilt court without the pressure of keeping it stable. He shouldn't have to be separated from his surviving sister because of his failure. Azalea shouldn't have to be carted off to Summer for his sake. Ophelia shouldn't have to now live in the place where she was violated. And Asteria, kind and beautiful Asteria was thrust back into political strife with the Night Court because of their hate for him.

Nothing to say of the fallen Ambrose he'd grieved with them. Daphne might be alive if not for his mistake of allying himself with Hybern. His sweet baby sister deserved to live and thrive, not to meet a bloody demise like her beloved. Oh, oh that was another one he'd failed, for Andras gave his life to break a curse that he had allowed to befall them and yet he'd send Feyre away at the cusp of victory. In the end, they were free but that sacrifice was so utterly pointless...

What would Rosabella say, or Oisin, or Dorevan, or even Ciaran who'd promised to try? He might've redacted that promise if he knew Tamlin was the worst choice out of the three of them to rule.

He'd cursed them instead of facing his mate. He'd gotten Hybern into the court to save Feyre when she actually needed saving from him instead. His selfish need to put her above his principles and court got thousands killed and yet weeks before he'd even been foolish enough to let the man behind it all bed him and take him as a lover without a hint of remorse.

"Face it, you were a good-for-nothing ruler, an awful brother and son, an even worst friend, and the very last person anyone would ever want to be stuck with," Rhysand told him and he finally let go of him and spilled some drops of red in the floor. It was still less messy than the blood he had spilled by his own hands

"I'm sorry." He choked out in tears. Tamlin hadn't noticed he was crying.

"Apologies are worthless, especially to the dead." Azriel would know, he has seething of a closeness to death.

"You want to apologize? Set them all free They deserved better than being stuck with you." Cassian breathed.

"Do what everyone here has been wishing you did since your loose lips began causing the deaths of innocents."

"You couldn't escape your nature. You're nothing but a beast."

It was the final twist of the knife. Rhysand who had once been his friend confirmed what he'd been pushing down deep in his mind since the war's end and Feyre who he once would've moved earth and sea for letting him know exactly how badly he had failed.

This was inevitable really. There was only one end for worthless wicked men like him. Tamlin knew it, he'd said it to his friends. Once Tamarand was ready, he would go.

It was time to go.

The exit wasn't blocked to him this time, he ran and ran all the way to the pier where he'd been with his beloved Lucien a week prior. This was far enough to winnow without the others seeing.

He'd go to his favorite place one last time before death took him. Maybe that might grant him luck in the next life.

Where?! Where was he?! Lucien could feel his heartbeat drowning him as he frantically searched the ballroom and gardens.

Tamarand had joined him and Azalea in their search. Clare and the mothers remained in Summer in case this was a false alarm and to continue representing the court. When they were sure he wasn't in Summer they winnowed to Spring.

The rain was pouring so harshly that they nearly fell over upon arrival. Lucien could feel some presence of him, but it was faded, almost nonexistent.

"Quick, we need to know where he would go! The manor? The garden? The graves? Where?!" Azalea looked like she was about to fall over with worry. Tamarand had to steady her.

Lucien thought long and hard about where he could've gone, he concluded that if Elaine's vision was correct and Tamlin would be attempting suicide again, he'd do it in his favorite place. For a moment he thought of the greenhouse where they first met, but that would only work for hanging or poison, and servants were likely to find him in time.

No, in this weather and in this state there was only one place he would go.

"Follow me! Be ready to shift into an aquatic form!"

The pool of starlight always turned dark when the sky was covered in rainclouds, still, there were specks of white glow upon the water, and they shimmered beautifully beckoning him to sink forever. Around it, there were lavender blooms. 'Flowers for a watery grave. Fitting.'

Tamlin took a moment before walking in. He removed his blue coat before daring to step into the water, it would be cruel to ruin such a present, Lucien could give it to someone else. Tamlin didn't deserve to take this from him too. He would leave with nothing dear, for he didn't deserve any of it.

The water of the pool was colder than that of the rain. Still, he kept on walking into it, leaving the shore and letting it cover his feet, then his ankles, and soon up the knees.

He thought of Nesta and Clare dragging him to read. Sometimes his mothers would join them, ready to enjoy trashy romances for hours on end.

The eldest Acheron had apologized, but what for really? He was at fault for those woes. Had he not failed Feyre, maybe Nesta wouldn't have paid the price. 'I'm sorry.'

"I think I'd rather listen to you for now. Tell me the story of this curse, of this mountain, of this court. I'd like to hear it from your side this time."

'Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for at least giving me that chance even if it's wasted on a man like me.'

Clare too would've been spared her pain. If Feyre hadn't been here, then Clare wouldn't have been taken by Amrantha and had her family killed. That was more blood on his hands. Blood that he could see as he walked deeper into the pool.

"You're the Spring Lord! You were the one who begged for me to be spared!"

'What good did begging ever do? Sorry Clare, they still wiped your family name from the world and caused you so much pain. I'm sorry. I hope you find some joy here in Spring. You deserve that at least.'

The water now reached his waist and Opehlia'a motherly smile flashed in his mind. Her hugs, her nice disposition, her encouragement, and all of the love she gave. It was oh so wasted on him.

"Rest assured that we'll help rebuild this court to the best of our abilities, and should you wish so, we'll be your family as well!"

'Tamlin Ambrose...It sounds so much better than Tamlin Evergreen. But this is the way things should be. I brought your family nothing but pain. I'm so sorry mother, but thank you for showing me what a proper family is like. If I'd been an Ambrose from birth...'

Asteria too he could see. Quiet but observant, elegant and calm yet so sweet. She probably had hugged and comforted him more than Rosabella ever did. The winged woman was so clever, she really knew how to make him feel strong and keep a smile.

"I love you, sweetie! Take care out there!"

'I'm sorry I couldn't help you avenge your loss, Mother. I hope you're able to support my siblings and get back what the Night Court took from you. You're a force to be reckoned with, but with more kindness than I ever deserved. Thank you for loving a worthless son like me.'

The freezing water was up to his neck, and his body began to ache like he was being pricked by pins and needles all over. That would end soon once he was fully underwater.

In the sound of the rainstorm, he could hear Tamarand and Azalea calling his name. He was probably hallucinating.

Those two deserved all that was good and kind and beautiful in the world. Azalea despite being younger than them and versed in magic and healing thought him how important it was to have a strong character and intelligence aside from a big heart. She'd be well cared for by Tarquin of that he had no doubts. Yet he wished he hadn't forced her to leave her home and family. Even now, those dearest to him were settled with the consequences of his mistakes.

Tamarand Ambrose was the only High Lord of Spring to be worth anything and he'd take the sentiment down to his watery grave. This man was so giving, so trusting, and accommodating, and yet he was tough enough to take on everything life threw at him. He didn't think of himself as wise but to the contrary Tamlin thought this humble, happy man was the wisest man High Lord he'd ever met.

"I would've broken much sooner. I can only pray that someday I'm half the High Lord you were..."

"Until then, we will all take care of you. Because you're worthy of this and much more. Oh, dear brother, you're the only worthy High Lord this court has had thus far, it's about time you realized it."

Their words echoed in his mind as he sunk deeper into the freezing pool. He cried his last tears before he was unable to do so.

'Dorevan and Ciaran were my brothers longer, and with time I've come to understand that they were suffering as well, that is what led to the fracturing of our already fragile family. Still, even if I have made peace with them. You two were my two true siblings.

I'm sorry my foolishness led to your sorrow, that you're carrying burdens that should've been mine to bear, that I took all the great things you gave and in return did nothing worthwhile for you. Thank you for showing me what true siblings were like. I love you.'

He was finally underwater, letting his aching body go numb and sink to the bottom. Underwater the sound of harsh rain could still be heard, it was relaxing almost like music, had he known this was his last night he would've played the piano again.'It doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters anymore.'

There was only one person he could think of at the end. One he'd so desperately wished he could've been worthy of. He thought of Lucien, of his voice, and his smile, and his gorgeous face, of the feeling of the red locks upon him when they woke cuddling close, and of those soft elegant hands who brought him joy, warmth, and pleasure. So many moments came to him as his breath began to cease and the water flooded his broken body.

"You're still the light of my life."

"And you're the most beautiful flower to ever bloom in mine."

He smiled, thinking of that happy memory before they went on vacation. It was so vivid as if he was falling into light.

'I'm sorry Luce. You deserved so much better than being stuck with me. I should've sent you to Day when you first came to me. Perhaps then you'd be with your father and avoided so much pain or perhaps Summer would've been better, Lord Nostrus always said we'd be his honorary cousins...Anywhere else would've been better than the manor of the beast.

You gave me so much, loved me so much, and suffered so much for me. I was nothing but pain to you, a poisonous bloom rather than a beautiful one.

Don't worry this flower will now wilt, and you will all be free of me. Thank you for being the love of my life, I can think of no one better to give my heart to. If only I'd been worthy of you. Things would've ended so differently. I am so very sorry.'

His vision blurred and his eyes closed, he thought he saw a shadow heading towards him, but he wasn't sure. Tamlin closed his eyes forever and let the darkness take him.

By the time they'd reached the shore of the starlight pool he was sinking, Azalea jumped in on her mermaid form, but the wind and rain made it so hard to swim there, she was fighting so hard to try and reach her brother.

He had left his coat on the shore, so hypothermia could be setting in. Azalea could do nothing other than swim as fast as she could to reach him.

Tamlin had his eyes closed and was completely numb when she found him. His face bore such a sad smile her heart shattered into a million pieces.

Azalea struggled to carry such a big man back to the surface but she managed, once they were out she almost threw him out of the starlight pool onto land. Lucien and Tamarand helped get him out. She quickly turned back and instructed them.

"Tamarand, compressions! Lucien, mouth-to-mouth breathing! I'll use healing magic! Go, his pulse is very weak!"

They all got into position and worked as fast as they could both filled with fear and hope.

'Please, please Lin. Please don't go. We can't lose you too!'

His pulse faded and there was no breathing. They all knew but none could say.

She swallowed, it felt like glass and ash down her throat. "Luce, Tam, it's...it's over."

"No! No fuck no! We can't give up! Azalea you can't give up on him! WE CANT GIVE UP ON HIM!" Lucien looked like he would tear through her if she said something like that again.

"IM NOT! I COULD NEVER!" She roared so loudly the entire court must've heard. "But...but I can't bring him back...We were too late."

"I'll use the spell! We can use it right?!" Tamarand begged looking down at his older brother as if he would disintegrate under his touch.

"No. It can only be used once...there's nothing to be done"

"No! I refuse! I won't let him go! I can't let him go! TAMLIN! TAM PLEASE!

Lucien shook him and even kissed him but the blonde remained still and cold. That last kiss was all he needed to confirm the worst.

Azalea knew that look, silent tears, darting eyes, shaking and parted lips. She had that look upon looking down at her sister's corpse.

Unlike her, Lucien's crying was soft. He screamed, he was sobbing, and breaking, and loudly crying out as if he was being tortured. She was sure he might not have his voice anymore after this.

Azalea pulled him into a hug, letting him cry out as she shook and desperately tried to hold herself together.

Tamrand was frozen. He couldn't process this. He wouldn't, he had to but his mind couldn't comprehend it.

Tamlin Evergreen was no more.

The last time Tamlin died, there was nothingness for a few moments and then he came back. This time he immediately woke up in what seemed to be an eternal field of the most beautiful daisies he'd ever seen. They smiled fantastic and he felt such a peace he had never felt in life. His clothes and hair were dry, and this time fully white. It all looked like a dream.

"Long time no see, my lord."

That voice had him turning around so fast he almost fell. Andras was standing in front of him, in his full white and gold armor. He looked just as he did on the day he died, same pretty face, goofy smile, and arms wide open for a loving hug.

Tamlin nearly tackled him. "I missed you so much! It's been so long! Andras old friend! You're here! You're really, really here!"

"Aye, I am. I just didn't expect to see you here too. Not in many many years." He told him in such a soft and sad voice that any peace Tamlin had was replaced by guilt.

Before he could apologize, two more figures joined him, he recognized that of a tall blonde male that once gave him nightmares but he'd grown to occasionally think of fondly. He looked sad but at peace too, dressed in Spring High lord attire but white rather than green and with a silver diadem rather than a gold crown. Regretful brown eyes fell upon his emerald ones.

"Dorevan?"

"Tamlin, I-"

Dorevan couldn't speak. Tamlin hugged him tightly and lovingly. "I missed you."

"I really missed you too." He told him, holding back tears.

"C'mon, big brother. You don't need to wait for the rain to cry anymore."

He did cry but with a smile. "I suppose not."

The other figure he quickly identified even if he'd only seen her in portraits and sketches.

Daphne Ambrose was every bit as beautiful as he'd been told, every bit as smiley and happy with an aura of pure love yet he could tell she was the baby of the triplets. Everything about her seemed to beckon him to be protective. Her hair was intertwined with beautiful white flowers that matched her dress.

"It's so good to finally meet you, Daphne."

She smiled before bursting into tears and tackling him to the floor.

"My brother! My dear older brother Tamlin! I'm so happy to finally meet you!"

Even her voice was soft and sweet. He stared at the trio they all smiled and gushed over having him back but he could tell there was also disappointment in their eyes. They knew what he'd done.

"Tamlin, why?"

"That shouldn't be the question. You should be asking me why I wasn't here sooner! I deserved to be here sooner than any of you! I should be the only one here!"

He cried but Dorevan quickly hugged him. "Stop. Please just stop! You didn't deserve this!"

"You're wrong! It was my fault. Your death and our parents and Ciaran they're all...It was because of me!"

"Tammy, no. It wasn't."

He flinched. His older brother wasn't one to give nicknames or affection but right now this was all so sweet and genuine Tamlin didn't know how to respond.

"It was! I let you all down! Rhysand and his father ended our line because of me!"

"Tamlin for fuck's sake you were a kid! Our father beat the secret out of you! He then beat us into going with him and causing that massacre!

Neither of us blamed you for this much less Mom!"

He looked around frantically. Rosabella wasn't here and neither was Oisin. His brother noticed and shook his head.

"They left rather quickly. I thought Father wouldn't even be allowed to rest. They stayed for one last dance when you and Lucien played their song at the joint grave."

He remembered that. The night after the funeral he played his parents' song at their grave alongside Lucien. He was hoping that farewell would serve as a proper apology.

"I think he had a realization then. He finally broke down admitting to all his failures, admitting how much he'd hurt us. He apologized to me, to Mom, to Ciaran...he told us to apologize to you in his name. That he was sorry for everything and hope you were the High Lord he could never be."

Tamlin didn't know what to think. He never expected an apology from his father, and while he would've preferred to have heard it directly from him, deep in his heart he was comforted by having it nonetheless.

"I'm not sure if I can forgive him." He told Dorevan.

"You don't have to. Ciaran didn't. I did. It's different for each of us. Mom was sorry too, that she didn't try harder, that she didn't stay alive to look after you. They left together after that. I hope they reincarnated together as well. Probably as moths but it's better than whatever Amarantha turned out to be."

"Never seen a soul get tossed so hard into the next life. Not even a chance to rest. She might be a cockroach for her next 20 lives."

Andras made them both laugh even if this was a serious moment. Tamlin was sad he would never see his parents again, but that bit of closure was more than what he'd ever hoped to get.

"Where's Ciaran? We made amends before but...I was hoping to see him too."

"He reincarnated as well. Apparently, Roxanne died upon being told of his demise. They left here together too. Told me to make amends with ya once you came, and to look over their child."

"Child?! They had a child?! Oh, gods...That poor kid."

"S'okay. Roxy's friends would care well for the kid. There was no way you could know. Trust me, Cece was wishing you well, and frankly so have I."

"I appreciate it but...Dorevan I let you all down. I was a horrible High Lord."

His brother placed his hands upon his shoulders gently this time. "Kid, believe me when I say you were twice the man and High Lord any of us could've been.

The Night Court really fucked up if they thought they were doing something by leaving you as the sole survivor. It was the best choice they could've made. Because Spring never bloomed as beautifully as it did with you.

Tamlin, I'm so sorry for not being a good brother. Tamarand and Azalea did want I should've done from the day Mother passed you to me as a baby. They protected you and nurtured you more than I ever did in my entire shitty life and there is no excuse for the pain I helped put you through. I'm so very sorry.

However if you may indulge me, let me tell you that the reason I was always wary was because I knew you'd be the better man, the better High Lord, and the better son. You brought everyone so much joy, even me. Your music, your kindness, your sense of duty our Court was so lucky to have a man like you rule it and it is thanks to you they have one just as great now. You were a magnificent High Lord and a better brother than what any of us deserved."

He just sunk into Dorevan's arms as he silently wept. This was all he wanted to hear for years.

"You say I was a good High Lord but what about Amarantha, the curse, and the sacrificed sentries-"

Andras put his finger over Tamlin's lips. Glaring at him not with anger but rather a little disappointment. "Stop right there. All of them are here. We all agreed to go and fulfill our duty for your sake. Nothing would've swayed us.

Tamlin that curse was not your fault. It was Amarantha's and she's probably going to be paying for it for centuries until her penance is lifted.

You had every right to refuse the woman who was dead set on taking over the courts and who had hurt your beloved. Had it been me, or Daphne, or Dore, or even Lucien we all would have done the same! This isn't your burden to bear. The curse was horrible but you gave up your everything to break it and keep everyone safe. It's more than many would've done.

I hold no hard feelings for this, my friend. I'm happy to have been close to you, and to have served you. I'm honored to have had you as my High Lord."

Andras joined the hug, and he was calming down but there was still guilt festering within, guilt for the aftermath.

"You all say I did well, but no one can defend the end. No one can defend the fall of Spring, that was my fault."

"I can. I can and will defend you at the end of all things now and forever." Daphne kneeled in front of him, placing her hand on his face.

"Lea and I aren't specialized in mental healing. But it is obvious that after 50 years of pain, you had difficulty adjusting, much less when we all know how Amarantha treated you and that you were her mate who had to end her and suffer the symptoms of a broken bond. All of this is enough to drive one mad. Yet you fought it. You fought harder than many, but there's only so much one can take.

You allied yourself with Hybern to save the woman you loved, and it took some convincing. She was the one who turned out to be a cursebringer rather than a cursebreaker. She laid our people down to Hybern after messing with their minds and putting Summer through strife as well. She and her husband are the villains of this story, not you. Never you.

I didn't get to meet you in life thanks to her. It is something I shall never forgive her for. Because Tamlin if I had been able to tell you how much we all adore you and how often the fallen sing praise for you, there is no way we would be reuniting today."

Finally, she held him, the four of them remained in an embrace until he stood and stopped crying. "I'm sorry."

Dorevan, Daphne, and Andras too his hands in theirs, speaking in unison with so much adoration he nearly broke again.

"Tamlin, you have nothing to apologize for."

That was all he ever wanted to hear, all the forgiveness he'd endlessly craved and now he had it. Tamlin hadn't felt this light and happy in centuries, those words were enough to free him from the shackles he'd carried his whole life. Finally, he was redeemed.

"We should go. There are so many waiting for you. A court calls for their High Lord!" Andras said.

Daphne put a flower from her hair on his. "It's not a crown but it fits you well."

He was about to walk away with them when they heard crying. Three voices cried out inconsolably for him.

"Lea, Tam?" Daphne called out. She must've heard those cries when she died.

Dorevan looked away. He seemed distressed by the pain of his siblings.

"Tamlin! Come back! You promised! You promise you'd stay!"

Lucien's pleas were enough to bring back the tears. He froze and looked at the eternal horizon away, he could hear it from here and wish to go there and comfort him. Even if he hadn't promised anything, because Tamlin always knew that this was his end.

"Maybe...Maybe you could go back. I know you don't like it when Lucien cries." Dorevan suggested.

Go back...a part of him asked why. Why go? He was with his friend, and his brother and sister, his subjects waited for him, and he could finally rest. No more responsibility and pain, no more war or scuffles with the Night Court, no more guilt or aches. He was free. He was so tired, so why go back to that? Why give up the afterlife he'd always craved?

But that voice, that beautiful voice that could've beckoned him to do anything if asked because, from their first meeting, he'd sworn to love this man until the end of his life and further...He couldn't walk away from it, not even in death. That vow he would keep.

"Dorevan, do you remember that old superstition from Dawn you told me about? That irrational fear of four?"

"Tetraphobia? Yes, I remember, that number in ancient dawnish and winter language sounds like death. That is why it is avoided oftentimes in those courts. They say it's unlucky."

"Right. It would be terribly unlucky for four of us to be here in death. Maybe I am going to make sure the numerology doesn't cause any trouble for us."

They all chuckled. Only he could make such a bittersweet moment into a funny one. Daphne gave him a kiss on the cheek. "It was so good to finally meet you. I love you very much and I'm going to wait until the day I can see you again. It better be far into the future because you deserve a happy life.

Tell the others, that I love and miss them, that they're not at fault and to take care of each other. I have no doubts you'll all need it."

Andras hugged him, he always gave the type of hugs to suck the breath out of a person. Tamlin loved that.

"Talk to me soon. I always listen at the grave and always hope to see you all smile. Send my regards to the boys and make sure to stay healthy. When you're back we'll spar and drink and be merry like the good old days. Love ya, brother, have a wonderful life."

Finally, Dorevan held him. "Live for us, live happily and in peace and healthy. Help avenge the fallen and never forget that you are Tamlin Evergreen, the best that has ever come out of this family. You are a force to be reckoned with, an intelligent caring man, and a former Lord that served his country better than those before him. Love you Tamlin. I'm honored to have had you as a brother. I hope when we meet again we get to have the relationship that should've been ours from the start. For now, keep making our family proud.

We will look over you."

Just in case any doubts remained, his older brother pushed him harshly onto the light and back to life. 'Classic Dorevan, always making you let your guard down before tossing you away.' He never thought there would come a day when he'd be glad for that.

Tamlin's green eyes snapped open before he sat up abruptly and threw up water and a couple of fish. He saw his siblings scoot away in terror, but once he'd emptied his insides of fluid and coughed up a lung there was a face he saw, an absolutely beautiful and heartbroken face he wouldn't dare disappoint again.

"Tam?" Lucien asked in a ragged voice full of hope and disbelief.

"Hello everyone. I hope you didn't miss me much."

The trio held him tightly as he felt himself blackout again this time out of exhaustion. A flower lay beside him, it was the one Daphne placed on his hair.

'Thank you.'

Once they all knew he was alive and just exhausted the trio calmed down. Lucien finally looked like he was done crying smiling at him and Azalea before gently kissing Tamlin's forehead. "We should go home."

Tamarand nodded. Picking up his brother to carry him back to Rosehall. Azalea however remained still, her eyes turning glowing green ad her hands growing claws.

"Lea?"

She showed them her hand, it was purple as if someone had thrown glitter on it. "This wasn't him. He was healing, he was making such progress even if the suicidal thoughts we there...Our brother was pushed to the brink, mentally and magically.

Rhysand compelled him to end his life. This magic, this foul scent. It is all his."

He wasn't surprised. Back at the ball, he'd seen Tamlin talking to the inner circle but before he could go interrupt some dawn courtiers spoke to him and he couldn't slip away until Azalea and Lucien came to him.

The redhead was furious but soon was calm. "Let's just go home. Tamlin needs care and rest."

"You two go home. I have to go back to Summer." Azalea said in a tone that frightened him. Never in his life had he seen his little sister look so unhinged.

"Lea, what are you going to do."

"I'm going to make them regret the day they dared put a single hand upon Tamlin Evergreen."

With those words she disappeared, winnowing back to Summer and leaving them in the rainy night to care for Tamlin.

Neither he nor Lucien would dare stop her. If not for Tamlin's condition they would've joined her. A glance between was enough to communicate the shared thought.

Purple was about to turn crimson red.