It's been a while.

I had first made this account as a way to pass time,work on my writing skills and get away from everything in my life. Rereading all my old stories they sucked plain and simple. Here I am making fun of a much younger me straight out of middle school as I make my way to college now. It's kind of poetic, kind of funny thinking about it.

But here's to one more, a new chapter if I ever go through with it.

Naruto, with some support ig.

Also, Naruto and the group starts off at 15 instead of 12 like cannon.

"Speech"

'Thought'

'Summoning and tailed beast speech'

Disclaimer : I do not own naruto, if i did i'd be swimming in cash

Chapter 1: Toad Sage

Day 1 of the long month Chunin Exams was not going very well for our favorite blonde knucklehead. He had just made an escape from Ebisu and was still very much fuming from Kakashi's earlier disappearance.

His own sensei had casted him aside, leaving him with possibly the worst teacher he could ever get. Well maybe not the worst but Naruto could name a lot of things wrong with Ebisu.

"Not only is he not a real Jonin but there is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing cool about him." He said to no practical person. "He's not a copy ninja like Kakashi sensei, he's not gonna turn me all red and fast like Gai sensei could, he's not gonna teach me anything new or cool. I'll just be a boring shinobi that could walk on trees all day." He said as he'd kick a rock down his pathway. Absolutely not one thought in mind of his locations but truly just needed somewhere to go at least.

"He doesn't even really like me" he'd grumble the last part to himself. Remembering their first interactions and the way Ebisu addressed him left a sour taste in Naruto's mouth. Describing him as the plague of the planet to Konohamaru, not even being able to address him by his own name at first…. Naruto definitely wouldn't put up with him for even a week, nonetheless a full month.

Naruto himself didn't wanna admit it, but his chances against Neji were looking very slim. The thought of failing to live up to his promise to Hinata was haunting him. How would he look a month from now, face down on the dirt knocked out in front of Neji after all he said?

"Like a loser, a good for nothing loser" He grumbled out loud.

He was betting his Ninja way on this match, there was absolutely no way he could afford to lose. Everything he stood for Neji opposed, that whole destiny crap and not being able to make your own path in life. He'd refuse to be isolated into a box just like Neji had sprawled on about. HELL he had swore on Hinata's blood that he'd avenge her, there was truly no way he could lose. But atlas, with each passing step he was drawing blanks on what to do.

He'd be taken out of his thoughts from the rather loudly annoying man giggling? Yes, that sounded like a man's voice he'd start to hear. Looking around and finding himself near a hot spring there wasn't much optimism in his mind on the mystery person, but hey if his day was ruined might as well ruin the perverts day too. who knows maybe he'd think of something crazy and awesome to beat Neji with after.

He'd soon find himself 10-20 feet away looking at an old very old Man peeping through a hole in the wall. His hair was rather long but all that white couldn't mean he had much longer to live, and it seemed to be up to our blonde knucklehead to take a few more months off that life span as well.

An Idea quickly spun to mind, as Naruto would summon up 6 clones of himself. 5 Of the Naruto's would then all transform into pretty women that absolutely no man, nonetheless a pervert, could resist, as the other stayed back with the original. As they ran towards the man with open hands, all panicking, faces full of fear as if someone had just been after him.

Two of the naruto's transformations would find themselves behind the unknown man holding onto his back as if he was a body shield. The other 3 would be in the front all sprawling. words becoming absolutely inaudible.

"Ladies ladies, what seems to be the problem." He'd state with possibly the perverse of grins on his face.

One Naruto clone would end up breaking through the ruckus of the other two finally being heard. "There" pointing at the intersection of the hot spring doors that they had just come from. "Someone's, someone's hiding there trying to peek on us" She'd say as the other clones could be heard in unison agreeing.

Naruto had no idea how good or bad his acting was, but judging from how quickly that white haired man ran towards the original spot, he'd guess it was just good enough. That or he truly was a dunce perv trying to impress them.

The mystery man would bolt hitting a hard left turn into the intersection. Looking around for what he was expecting, a man of his same figure and size ready to either fight or run away, he'd see nothing. Just the same doors that had always filled this intersection.

"Did he run alre-." Before he could finish an uppercut had sent him flying into the air. Next thing he knew an orange blur would fly through kicking him right back outside. As quickly as he had fallen down the white haired man had kicked up back to his feet getting into his stance.

"HOW DARE YOU KICK DOWN THE GALLANT TOAD HERMIT JIRAIYA." He'd proclaim in this weird stance that Naruto couldn't help but chuckle at. All five fingers out in front of him as his right arm stood up right. His legs in a weird position themselves, Naruto really couldn't help but laugh.

"Stop yapping you big perv, it's time for you to meet your maker." He Proclaimed pointing at the now man known to be Jirayia. 'i sound so cool right now'

He indeed did not sound so cool, the next few seconds also wouldn't be considered so cool.

Deactivating his transformation two of Naruto's clones rushed at Jirayia's back ready to hit the man with haymakers, a quick squat drop to the knees would cause both blondes to miss wildly before being dispelled with two gut punches. Not allowing anytime to recover two more clones would rush forward from different sides. The first clone would throw a right jab at Jiraiya, catching the blonde by the wrist and slamming him into his counterpart both would dispel just as the two before them.

'Ok maybe he's not just an old perv,' Naruto thought to himself wondering just how he could have gotten himself into fighting this.

Before our blonde could react Jiraiya launched at the last clone, dispelling him instantly. In what looked to be instantaneous he found himself looking face to face with what could only be the original of our blonde knucklehead. A clean leg sweep dropped Naruto to the ground before he'd feel the full weight of Jiraiya on him.

"I CAN'T MOVE." Naruto said, squirming around trying his absolute best to push up from the embarrassing position. He looked up seeing Jiraiya standing over him, causing him to sprawl into what could possibly be holding him down.

Seeing his confused face, Jirayia squatted down to eye level with the boy. "It's called a weight seal. I think you've learned to leave authors alone as they do their research." The toad sage said before vanishing to a new vantage point, more "research" on his mind.

With his face to the dirt, and body unable to move, the only one thought ran through Naruto's mind.

"Wtf."

And Break, I really can't tell how I did to start this off? good, bad? I'm rereading to check for any grammatical errors and stuff but humans always make mistakes. I had some problems with the dialogue between the two but I thought it would be fun to make them a lil cringe and very uncool to start. Seeing as well they're both kind of weird people in general.

Next chapter will be naruto going under jiraiya's wings and a bit of different dialogue from their original meetings in cannon.

I hope this is a good starting point and other chapters will be longer i just really wanted to get this one out.