Kazumi was six years old when she realized that there was something wrong with her. She had two loving parents who adored her and showered her with gifts and affection just to see her smile. She didn't smile much. Her parents told her that it was okay, that it didn't bother them; 'You're beautiful just the way you are, sweetie.' But Kazumi knew they were lying – it did bother them, and they were worried about their daughter.
̶S̶h̶e ̶i̶s ̶n̶o̶t ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r ̶d̶a̶u̶g̶h̶t̶e̶r.
She doesn't know why she expects to see different faces every time her parents call for her. She doesn't understand why she looks at their eyes so often and expects them to do something but feels disappointed when they don't.
̶R̶e̶d ̶e̶y̶e̶s ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g ̶a̶t ̶h̶e̶r ̶w̶i̶t̶h ̶s̶o ̶m̶u̶c̶h ̶l̶o̶v̶e ̶a̶n̶d ̶p̶r̶i̶d̶e ̶a̶n̶d ̶s̶o ̶p̶r̶o̶t̶e̶c̶t̶i̶v̶e ̶o̶f ̶h̶e̶r ̶l̶i̶k̶e ̶t̶h̶e̶y'̶d ̶g̶i̶v̶e ̶h̶e̶r ̶t̶h̶e ̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d ̶i̶f ̶s̶h̶e ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶e̶d ̶f̶o̶r ̶i̶t.
She doesn't know why she never responds to being referred to by her last name, as if that name wasn't hers to begin with, she longs, longs to be called a name she no longer remembers.
'̶U̶c̶h̶i̶h̶a, ̶m̶y ̶d̶e̶a̶r. ̶Y̶o̶u ̶w̶e̶r̶e ̶b̶o̶r̶n ̶a̶n ̶U̶c̶h̶i̶h̶a. ̶B̶e ̶p̶r̶o̶u̶d.'
The kids at school make fun of her, they try to bully her, pulling her hair and stomping on her shoes. One glare their way was enough to put a stop to it, but now she is ignored and treated like an outcast. Nobody wants to be friends with her.
The kids at the academy won't leave her alone. It's pathetic, the way they try to suck up to her and she's not even the clan heir.
It's better this way, she doesn't want to be friends with a bunch of crybabies, she tells as much to the teachers. It didn't stop them from trying though. Life goes on. To her it feels like a loop.
School is boring. Kazumi feels like she is missing a huge part of it, she just doesn't know what. Her hands feel empty and her body feels naked and vulnerable even when she is covered in layers of clothing.
̶A ̶n̶i̶n̶j̶a ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s ̶h̶a̶s ̶w̶e̶a̶p̶o̶n̶s ̶o̶n ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r ̶p̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n ̶e̶v̶e̶n ̶w̶h̶e̶n ̶t̶h̶e̶y ̶a̶r̶e ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶i̶n̶g ̶a̶s ̶t̶h̶e̶y ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r ̶t̶r̶u̶l̶y ̶f̶e̶e̶l ̶s̶a̶f̶e ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶o̶u̶t ̶i̶t. ̶A̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s ̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y ̶t̶o ̶a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶k.
She looks at the school curriculum and she scoffs at how easy it seems to her, she feels offended that they think this is the level she needs to start at. Everyone in class should know this right? Wrong, they are all incompetent. The teachers tell her that it's because she is extraordinary, her parents say she is gifted. She does not want to be extraordinary.
̶B̶e̶i̶n̶g ̶e̶x̶t̶r̶a̶o̶r̶d̶i̶n̶a̶r̶y ̶g̶e̶t̶s ̶y̶o̶u ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶e̶d. ̶A̶l̶l ̶t̶h̶e ̶o̶r̶p̶h̶a̶n̶s ̶a̶n̶d ̶c̶i̶v̶i̶l̶i̶a̶n ̶c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶r̶e̶n ̶w̶h̶o ̶s̶h̶o̶w̶e̶d ̶p̶r̶o̶m̶i̶s̶e, ̶d̶i̶s̶a̶p̶p̶e̶a̶r̶e̶d ̶s̶o̶o̶n ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r ̶t̶h̶e̶y ̶e̶n̶t̶e̶r̶e̶d ̶t̶h̶e ̶̶̶̶a̶̶̶̶̶c̶̶̶̶̶a̶̶̶̶̶d̶̶̶̶̶e̶̶̶̶̶m̶̶̶̶̶y̶.
So, Kazumi learns to be ordinary. She puts on a fake smile that looks adequate enough. She starts to ask questions that she already knows answers to. She puts on a facade of a bubbly girl. Her parents look relieved. The teachers are disappointed. Slowly but surely she starts to fade in the background, no longer standing out among the crowd. No different from her peers. She feels disgusted with the act she has to put on, but she feels more enraged at how nobody notices. Her parents look relieved as if there was something wrong with their daughter.
̶S̶h̶e ̶i̶s ̶n̶o̶t ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r ̶̶̶d̶̶̶a̶̶̶u̶̶̶g̶̶̶h̶̶̶t̶̶̶e̶̶̶r̶.
Kazumi doesn't recognize herself sometimes and doesn't know how to separate herself from the character she is playing. She doesn't know why, but she has to keep going. Her only relief was that she had her own bedroom where she no longer had to pretend.
̶B̶e̶i̶n̶g ̶e̶x̶t̶r̶a̶o̶r̶d̶i̶n̶a̶r̶y ̶g̶e̶t̶s ̶y̶o̶u ̶̶̶k̶̶̶i̶̶̶l̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶d̶.
She only ever felt comfortable and relaxed in her own skin when she was sleeping. Night became her favorite time of the day. She sought solace in her dreams where she was able to be who she wanted to be and didn't have to put on a show for someone. Until she couldn't.
Kazumi is nine when she dreams of clear skies and lush forests. She sees Uchiwa fans on the walls and the backs of the Navy blue shirts of the people around her. Half red and half white. A compound full of dark-haired people. And when she opens her eyes, she weeps and wails into her pillow, weeps for people she doesn't remember, yearns for bonds she no longer has. Kazumi cries until there are no tears left to cry.
Her parents don't notice the change within her, the change in her sleep patterns, they never hear her sobs from her room across the Hall because she is good at hiding, hiding behind the facade she has created, hiding the tear marks with a smile.
̶S̶h̶i̶n̶o̶b̶i ̶a̶r̶e ̶g̶o̶o̶d ̶a̶t ̶h̶i̶d̶i̶n̶g ̶a̶n̶d ̶e̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶l̶y ̶g̶o̶o̶d ̶a̶t ̶p̶l̶a̶y̶i̶n̶g ̶t̶h̶e ̶r̶o̶l̶e ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r ̶v̶i̶l̶l̶a̶g̶e ̶a̶s̶k̶s ̶t̶h̶e̶m ̶̶̶t̶̶̶o̶.
She dreams of a curly-haired boy with a smile so bright that she feels like she's looking at the sun. She sees herself walking up on trees and water with that boy, throwing knives with triangular pointed ends at the targets while she's mid-air.
She knows she should be able to shrug these dreams off, walking on water? That's impossible. Right? So then why does she feel a sharp pain in her chest when she thinks of that boy, why does she feel so nostalgic at the thought of walking on trees and water? And what was that tickling energy she felt underneath her skin?
'Chakra,' a part of her whispered.
Her young mind might've forgotten but her soul remembers.
She dreams of breathing a fire so great that it burns everything and anything in its wake, and she feels the air of satisfaction and how accomplished she felt at that moment.
These dreams don't feel like dreams at all, they… they feel like home. And sometimes Kazumi finds herself wondering whether there is a message behind these dreams. There must be something right? Or she wouldn't feel like crying every time she thinks of them.
What do you do when you feel homesick in the house that's supposed to be your home?
Now whenever she enters the house the words 'I'm home' never feel right to say. But she says it anyway, every time she is greeted only by her parents she can't help but feel disappointed.
̶S̶h̶e ̶u̶s̶e̶d ̶t̶o ̶h̶a̶v̶e ̶a ̶̶̶c̶̶̶l̶̶̶a̶̶n̶.
It wasn't until Kazumi and her parents went to a restaurant to celebrate her birthday that she saw a curse for the first time. She doesn't react immediately, no she surveys the area first.
Weird, people are usually frightened just at the sight of cockroaches, this would have them running for their lives.
Looking at the man that monstrous thing was clutching onto, she didn't see a single sign that the man saw it. She looks at the people around him and there's nothing on their faces that would clue her in on what's happening. It's like the thing doesn't even exist for them.
After a few minutes of consideration, she comes to a realization that the people around her can't see them. Huh, but then how can she-
A woman walks by that man and with a single hand sign there's a visible change (to her) in the aura around her and the next thing Kazumi knows, that thing disappears into thin air. The man gives out a sigh of relief as if a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders.
Oh. There are people like her who can see these ugly things, people who work to exterminate these things whatever it is called. But what was that shift in energy around her and how did no one notice?
And then, everything clicks into place.
Her soul remembers.