He was never one for community. He lived on the fringes, an asshole outlaw sticking it to the man. You know the one. Wigged up with his posh refineries, passing BS laws and taxes. Sometimes he lived his life solely to piss that man off. Finger up and then running before they rounded him up. Into the wide-landed sunset, too boundless to catch one guy, where all were free but surviving on their own wits. So why'd he give a crap about Los Sanatos?
...Crimes of Jondy...
It had a nice pub, for one.
The saloon doors to the Hydra smacked open and there stood a blonde man, red bandana around his neck, smoking a cigarette.
The barman looked up. "Jondy, read the sign. No smoking."
The man called Jondy squinted, locked his stubbled jaw and sucked in. He pulled out the cig and blew smoke from the corner of his mouth.
"We can't smoke up now? Come on, Wolfie. Last week they banned gambling. What's next, no drinking?" He tried getting the patrons on his side. They barely eyeballed him, leaning over their small tables and tumblers.
"Not on my watch." Wolfie's serious answer made Jondy sneer his contempt.
He took another pull then flicked his ciggy, tromped in and pulled out a stool. Wolfie slid him a whisky.
Not a moment later the doors flung open again with equal force. Jondy glimpsed askance and felt that tightening of muscle, his finger knuckles curling against the bartop.
Wolfie engaged ass-kissing mode. "Right on, Howitzer. Welcome to the Hydra."
"What up. Gimme your finest."
His boots chinked and plunked on the floorboards. He pulled out the stool by Jondy. Vest crinkling over buttons as he sagged down like Jabba. Looks-wise he was a cross between the Monopoly guy and the Colonel.
Jondy stayed hunched over his drink.
Wolfie asked, "How's things, Mr. Howitzer?"
"Gucci." He turned, raising his drink to the room. "I trust yall have read the law my solicitors finished drafting? We submit it to the governor on Tuesday!"
"Don't know dick about no law…" Jondy muttered.
Howitzer's shadow leaned in, stool creaking, coat rustling. "Why it's dank, my man! The men of Los Sanatos will be able to own land!" He announced for the room.
"Nobody should own land, yo." Jondy turned, "And I'm not your man, man."
"Is that so, Mr.…?"
"Don't listen to this one," Wolfie said quickly.
Jondy stood and a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Crazy Eyes glared a warning. Jondy swung, thudding meat and cheekbone. He turned on Diablo next, sent him spinning into a post. Hazzard punched and missed, scuffing his ear. Jondy grabbed him by the shirt and threw him onto the bartop. Cobra tackled Jondy's middle, he kneed him back in the gut.
The whole bar was out for him now.
Jondy got king-hit by Knockout, thrown onto his back, squinting up like someone had a torch in his eyes.
The click of a crossbow made everyone freeze.
Wolfie the bartender aimed square at Jonty. Howitzer stood sipping his drink.
"It's economics, you ninnyhammer," Diablo spat blood. Hazzard slid off the bartop, groaning. "We all get work!"
"Dude's totally boning us," Jondy dared not sit up. "No cap, we founded this town. We're the pioneers."
The saloon doors banged, "Thieves, more like." Sheriff Bloxd stomped to Jondy's side, winked. "Keep it 100, kid. Our gold rush ran dry years ago. You paved the way for better men."
He was followed in by his band of five-o's. They called themselves Platos and enforced the governor's will instead of laws. Their authority was tentative because there were many more free men than popo. Jondy had figured not one of them was brave enough to step foot in here, but they flanked their boss and no one batted an eye.
Jondy's days of feeling at home in this town were done.
Wolfie lowered the crossbow. A Plato took each arm and hauled Jondy to his feet. Howitzer lit a cigar. Wolfie hesitated but said nothing. Everyone was back up, rubbing their jaws and glaring. Bloxd ordered Jondy away and he was dragged out.
"Kiss my ass."
Howitzer just watched him go, sipping his drink.
The gold was all mined out by the first settlers, then smelted into coins that rained into Howitzer's pockets. He was best buds with the governor, and he'd arranged for three cargo ships to haul his wealth across the ocean to Los Sanatos.
Today a speech podium was built under a banner to commemorate ten years since a community formed on the looping coastline. It was ripe for exploitation. The settlers were all sailors or outlaws, hardy men, and their palms were always open for gold. Their greed let Howitzer in, and while the far-away kingdom had instated a governor, he too was easily swayed by the devil's cheese.
Outside Jondy's barred window, grunts were pulling rope over their shoulders. They erected a fifteen-foot statue of Howitzer, but in better shape.
"To economic opportunities," he cheered, raising another drink. "And jobs for all! Bet!"
The men didn't know they were applauding to rebuild exactly what they'd escaped. Jondy waited in holding, pacing circles, knowing soon enough help would spring him. He heard boots but it was Sheriff Bloxd.
"Jon Dee? You think you're real savage, huh?"
Then he frowned, leaning in.
"You rizzing me, chief?"
"Asshole." He backed up and strolled to the door. "You're not blowing Mr. Howitzer's big day. Nobody's springing you, got it?"
He stepped out of view into someone's fist. Whack, thud! A man called Whoopy walked in with a set of brown keys.
"You picked a fight with every guy in the Hydra?"
He jangled and jimmied.
"Thought they'd be on side."
"Right, well, shiznit's gonna hit the fan. Howitzer's ships are in the harbor."
"Then we better bounce." The cell door unlatched with a clang.
Skin crinkled around blue eyes rimmed with pink.
Howitzer gazed out over the heads from his podium. Blinking, bearded faces, tanned or pinkened from the sun. Twenty had grown to fifty, become a hundred, then it looked like every resident local was there.
"On this momentous day, I bring opportunity! I bring you-!"
BOOM!
Howitzer spun, brow puckering. One of his cargo ships started sinking. His contraband rained from the sky, distant sparkling from falling diamonds and emeralds.
On land, pistons released taut bungee cords, launching TNT and blowing out the hulls of the other two ships. They smoked, sinking, their crew jumping overboard. Howitzer was crapping himself. More explosions uphill brought him back. His vaults in the cliffsides were hailing the gold he'd hoarded from payments. Everyone charged, hands grabbing for the sky. Howitzer's eyes rolled back and he keeled over.
Sheriff Bloxd scrunched his eyes then blinked stupidly at the ceiling. The chaos outside was muffled. A connection had been knocked right in his head. Lightbulb. Jondy had been staring him straight on for the first time. And that face… The outdoor hubbub sharpened and Bloxd sprang to his feet. He had to tell someone!
Kicking his way out, everyone was running wild, grabbing for gold flakes. Too frantic to listen. So Bloxd ran to the clapboard mansion for the governor. A falling nugget struck him and he cursed, blood running from his brow and blurring his vision. He shoved people aside, kicked his way through a cart of ladies' dresses. They flung about then were pelted down by the unrelenting brittle, and Bloxd kept shoving his way through.
"Governor!" Bloxd belted but his voice was drowned out in the fracas.
Ahead the crowd parted and he saw Jondy with the barman's crossbow. With a knowing look, he rigged the bolt, squared his aim, and took the lethal shot.