Disclaimer: All the characters, places, spells, potions, creatures and objects you recognise from the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling. I mean no offence to her or to anyone else and I make no money with this.
Author's Note: Well, here we are again, back at the very beginning. Unintentionally Yours was the first fanfiction story I shared online and I'm still incredibly grateful for all the (mostly positive) feedback and encouragement I received back then. But over the years - as I grew older and maybe at least a little bit wiser - I started to notice more and more issues with the story, with my writing, with the characters and the situations I put them in. So, finally, I decided to do a rewrite, naively thinking that it would be a simple and straightforward endeavour of a couple of weeks... More than a year later, I can say that it was most certainly not and that this little rewrite turned out to be more of a complete overhaul.
But to make a long story - and it will still be a long story, I can promise you that - short, some of you might recognise certain situations or turns of phrase from the previous version, but this will mostly be a new story based on the same idea. If you knew the old version, I'm sure you will also quickly note one of the key differences...
Updating schedule: I plan to post a new chapter about once a week (but no promises). And I'm estimating that there will be about 40-50 chapters overall.
Warnings/Tags: Female Harry Potter, forced marriage, extremely dubious consent, age difference, unplanned pregnancy, termination/abortion, mentions of abuse, torture and rape.
1. AN INDECENT PROPOSAL
"You can't be fucking serious about this," Holly pressed out furiously, the paper she had been reading dropping uselessly from her shaking hand.
"I fear we are, Holly," Dumbledore replied in an unusually grave voice, though the twinkle in his eyes was still not missing. "Considering the alternative, the offer seems quite reasonable, I think."
"If you like the idea so much, then you do it," Holly snapped out, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him.
"I'm afraid such a substitution would not be acceptable to the Dark Lord," Lucius Malfoy spoke up smoothly, his long pale fingers tapping a lazy rhythm against the snake head of his cane.
"Oh, so sorry if Voldemort's not happy with this. That's of course my main concern," Holly replied sarcastically before turning back on Dumbledore. "You can't force me."
"You are still a minor, my dear girl, and your relatives were very understanding of the situation," Dumbledore started again and Holly sucked in a harsh breath as fear shivered up her spine, something cold and hard-edged like anger lodging in her throat. Though it cut much deeper than that.
Sirius, in his Animagus form, rose from where he had been laying rather quietly at her feet, snarling warningly as if to remind Dumbledore that Holly's true guardian would not be so bloody understanding. It was sweet, but Holly wasn't sure if it would matter in the end.
"So, when you told me that we would discuss this, it was lie. Another one," she said in a deadly calm voice. "Why am I not surprised?"
"Miss Potter, please, you know we all have your best interests at heart," Cornelius Fudge intervened, fuzzily brushing over his robes.
Holly snorted. "Of course, how could I ever forget? I mean when I told you Voldemort was back you were the first one at my side, believing in me, supporting me. And where would we be now if you hadn't reacted so swiftly?" She deliberately ignored the flinch at the mention of Voldemort's name.
An uncomfortable silence descended over the Headmaster's office, smouldering bits of paper drifting lazily through the air, as the two Aurors who had accompanied the Minister of Magic as his security detail busied themselves with repairing the walls and the ceiling that had suffered some structural damage when she had lost her temper the second time. She couldn't feel too bad about that, though, and a part of her hoped that her unleashed magic might have destroyed some pieces that were of some sentimental value to the meddling old coot.
Professor McGonagall, not surprisingly, seemed less than pleased with her or with the situation in general, but at least she hadn't agreed with Dumbledore when he had presented this as the viable solution it was not. Neither had Snape, but he hadn't said anything so far and Holly was not naïve enough to believe that he would be on her side, especially not after the Pensieve incident. Fudge hemmed nervously, twisting his lime green bowler between his sweaty hands, but seemed to reconsider any desire to take the floor when Holly glared at him.
Sirius pressed himself against her legs, his reassuring warmth and silent support all that kept her from breaking down in tears or losing control of her magic again. She buried her fingers in his thick black fur and waited. She wasn't going to break the silence. If they expected her to do this, they could damn well come out and say so.
She avoided looking over to the left side of the room where Rudolphus Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy were sitting in two conjured armchairs, calm as you please. Apparently, it was deemed perfectly acceptable to invite two known Death Eaters – one recently escaped from Azkaban and one implicated in the breach of the Ministry but released due to lack of evidence – for tea and so-called peace talks.
Finally, Dumbledore seemed to decide that it fell to him to calm her down enough to have a decent conversation. He tried offering her a lemon drop and she responded by melting the tin in his hand so that he had to vanish it quickly before it burned another hole into his desk.
"No-one is planning on forcing you, my dear girl, but those of us who lived through the last war will all agree that a second one should be avoided if at all possible," Dumbledore said, sending her a sympathetic, lenient smile as if to suggest that he was willing to forgive her little moment of selfishness. "As objectionable as this must seem to you, I'm sure you would not want anyone else to die because of you."
Sirius snarled again, less sound, more teeth this time, which she appreciated, but despite the heavy-handedness of Dumbledore's manipulations, she couldn't quite escape the truth of his argument. Dumbledore smiled beatifically at her. "Perhaps you would like to sit down so that we can discuss everything."
"I'm not going to discuss anything with you," Holly said, scooping up the piece of paper and then resting her hand back on Sirius' neck. "I will think about this and discuss it with the people who actually care about me. You can just sit here and wait."
She tugged lightly on Sirius' fur and then turned swiftly on her heel without granting any of them a backward glance. The dog Animagus had a bit of difficulty manoeuvring the spiral staircase, but quickly caught up to her, delicately grasping her robes with his teeth and tugging her into an unused classroom where he turned back into his human form.
"Holly, are you okay?" Sirius asked tentatively.
"Not really," Holly admitted and made a sound somewhere between a sob and a snort.
"Yeah, stupid question, sorry," Sirius replied, pulling her in against his chest and tucking her head under his chin. "What can I do to make it better?"
"This is good," Holly mumbled, relaxing into Sirius' strong hold until her stomach gave a loud rumble. "And maybe some food?"
Sirius barked out a laugh, though Holly didn't miss the tightening around his eyes. "Let's go down to the kitchens. I know a shortcut."
"I'd be disappointed if you didn't, Mr. Padfoot," Holly replied, managing something like a grin for her godfather.
Sirius put his arm around her slender shoulders, tousling his fingers through her short hair. "I promise we'll figure this out. Okay?"
"Okay," she agreed with a sigh, following Sirius through a number of secret passageways down to the kitchens, where she felt at least slightly cheered by Dobby's enthusiastic greeting and the veritable feast the house-elves put before them.
Despite the broad spread, she settled on some toast and soup, knowing from years of experience that her stomach wouldn't thank her for overwhelming it with too much food after weeks of near starvation. Sirius watched her silently, his grey eyes cloudy with worry and anger.
"So how will we figure it out?" Holly asked, finishing the last spoonfuls of her vegetable soup and poking at the offending piece of paper in disgust. "I don't think there're many options here: Either I agree and spend the rest of my life in misery; or I don't agree and there'll be war. And as much I don't want to agree with Dumbledore right now, he's right. I don't want that on my conscience."
Sirius shook his head. "You're fifteen, Holly – sixteen soon, okay, but it's still not on you to fix the problems of the Wizarding world. It's been broken for a long time and it can stay broken for a good while longer as far as I'm concerned."
"But the prophecy…"
"I can't see how you'll fulfil the prophecy with this," Sirius pointed out. "If anything, this almost seems like an escape hatch… with one hell of a catch."
"Have you read it?" Holly asked. "Tell me what you think."
Sirius sighed, unrolling the paper and turning it so that they could both read:
MARRIAGE CONTRACT
I, Tom Marvolo Riddle, also referred to as Lord Voldemort, hereby state my intention to marry Miss Holly Jay Potter.
By accepting this contract, I vow
1.) To suspend the war and all hostile actions against the Wizarding World and the Order of the Phoenix and to hold peace (cf. subsection 2.1);
2.) To train and teach Miss Potter to the best of my abilities, or should Miss Potter wish to study a subject out of my expertise, to find a suitable teacher to supervise her in her studies (cf. subsection 2.2);
3.) To provide for Miss Potter's needs, i.e. by offering her a home, food, clothing and all other necessities for a comfortable life (cf. subsection 2.3);
4.) To allow Miss Potter to visit her friends and family every first weekend of every month, unless said weekend overlaps with a holiday, in which case I shall allow Miss Potter to see her friends at another mutually agreeable time (cf. subsection 2.4);
5.) To not hurt Miss Potter willingly or deliberately (cf. subsection 2.5).
In return I expect
1.) The Wizarding World and the Order of the Phoenix to suspend the war and all hostile actions against my person and the organisation called Death Eaters, to refrain from criminal or petty prosecution and to hold peace (cf. subsection 3.1);
2.) Miss Potter to fulfil her marital obligations, by being respectful, faithful and available for sexual intercourse at least once a week (cf. subsection 3.2);
3.) Miss Potter to be present when I require her company and to limit any potential separation to less than a fortnight (cf. subsection 3.3);
4.) Miss Potter to refrain from jinxing, hexing, cursing or otherwise harming me or any member of the organisation called Death Eaters (cf. subsection 3.4).
Should any of these conditions be violated by either party, this contract shall be considered broken.
There were several pages of the aforementioned subsections and addendums, and she had read through them earlier, but neither of them bothered to turn to them now. All the basic arguments were already outlined in these few short paragraphs.
"Sirius?" Holly asked hesitantly after a long moment of silence. "What do you think?"
"I think that this is not what I want for you. It's not what your parents would have wanted for you," Sirius replied heavily. "But they wouldn't like what Dumbledore is doing to you either, moulding you into his perfect little soldier, treating you like a pawn to be sacrificed at a whim. Sending you to live with those Muggles."
Holly sighed. "Sirius."
"They'd want you to be happy, and so do I."
"That sounds nice," Holly replied, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice. "But how could I ever be happy with the monster who killed my parents and so many others, just for fun, because he could?"
"There's no way to bring them back," Sirius pointed out carefully. "But this contract would probably save many others from meeting the same fate."
Holly gave a tired nod before sighing again. "That's the only good thing about this entire idea."
"And the rest?" Sirius asked, offering her some banana yoghurt. "What bothers you the most?"
"He wants to dictate when and how often I can see my friends, probably teach me all kinds of nefarious things and… marital obligations," she finished in a whisper, ducking her head over the bowl of yoghurt to hide her blush.
"Well, I doubt he'd be willing to move much on that last point, but I think the first two we could probably negotiate," Sirius answered with an encouraging, if slightly lopsided smile. "But you don't have to agree, pup. Say the word and we'll leave, start over somewhere else and let Dumbledore and Fudge and Voldemort sort out their own mess."
"Tempting, but… I don't think I would feel right about that," Holly confessed, thinking of Ron and Hermione, the Weasleys, her friends from the Order, her classmates, even her teachers and imagining what a war would mean for them, how many of them would die or lose someone they loved or never be the same again. "If there's a chance for peace, I can't be selfish."
"Of course you can," Sirius growled, sounding so much like his Animagus form that Holly started to grin despite herself.
She leaned over the table to kiss her godfather's cheek. "Thanks, you're the best! I guess I'll fetch someone for the negotiations, though. Who would you suggest?"
For a moment, Sirius looked as if he was going to protest, but then he just sighed. "Malfoy – for the Dark side. He's from an old pureblood line so he will know all the laws and regulations. And since Fudge is an utter buffoon and Dumbledore a manipulative git, I'd go with Snape for the Wizarding world – let him play messenger owl since he seems to like that role so much."
Holly nodded in agreement. "Can you find us an empty classroom to use? I'd feel bad if Dobby felt like he had to wait on his old Master again."
"Sure, maybe the one near the library, with the statue of a giant duck – that always amuses me," Sirius suggested also getting to his feet before they left the kitchen together.
They split up after a while and Holly continued to walk slowly through the castle she had called her home for going on five years now. It was still untouched by war, but if she didn't agree, it would probably be only a matter of time till Voldemort set his sights on the school. On her. The war had been going on for two months now and as far as Holly could tell neither side had won any great victories, but St. Mungo's was already filling up with battered combatants, curse victims and injured wizards and witches who had simply been caught in the crossfire. Holly hated the air of fear and mistrust that had descended over the Wizarding world, the weariness and despair that was lurking in the ever-deepening shadows. How would they all end up if this war continued? She was almost certain that she didn't want to find out, even if that meant accepting this deal.
While she had been lost in thought, she had reached the gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office and with a whispered "Milky Way" she was on her way up. She could hear angry shouting as soon as she reached the end of the staircase and paused a moment to eavesdrop.
"Why this insistence on letting the girl decide? I am speaking for the Ministry and I say we accept this peace offer and move on," Fudge was arguing. "You can tell You-Know-Who we accept his terms. Miss Potter will do as she is told."
"Minister, I'm afraid that will not work for us," an unknown voice answered, probably belonging to Lestrange, whom she hadn't heard speaking before. "The Dark Lord was very clear that this is to be Miss Potter's decision."
"Well, that is nice to know," Holly said, deciding that she had heard enough and pushing the door open. "And on that note: Professor Snape, Mr. Malfoy, I would like to negotiate and clarify some of those terms. If I might ask you to accompany me?"
"But… We can't have Death Eaters strolling around our school!" spluttered Fudge as Dumbledore also voiced his protests, "My dear girl, I'd be happy to offer my assistance in this matter. It seems perhaps a little unwise for you to negotiate on your own."
"If I remember correctly, Minister, you just recently proclaimed that Mr. Malfoy couldn't possibly be in league with Voldemort because he's such a fine and upstanding member of society," Holly commented. "And of course, he's also still on the school board, aren't you, Mr. Malfoy? I fail to see how you could possibly deny him access. Unless of course you were referring to Professor Snape? I'd like to hear that argument."
Fudge stammered something unintelligible and probably unintelligent and Holly turned away from him to address Dumbledore, "Thanks for the offer, but no thanks."
"Miss Potter?" Malfoy questioned smoothly, stepping to the door and opening it for her. "Shall we?"
She slipped through the door, the two tall wizards following her silently.
"So may I ask which conditions you wish to renegotiate?" the blond wizard inquired, falling into step with her as soon as they had passed the gargoyle.
"Most of them," Holly replied simply. "We can discuss it once we're there."
"And where is 'there'?" Snape snapped in irritation.
"Near the library, one of the empty classrooms," Holly answered evenly, greeting one of the portraits as they passed.
"And why didn't you choose one closer to the Headmaster's office?" he demanded, scowling as they passed a painting of giggly wood nymphs.
"It's not very far if you use the short cuts," Holly said, leading them down one of the moving staircases and through a double archway.
Snape's scowl only intensified at that. "And why wouldn't we use those same shortcuts?"
Holly grinned at him. "You're still a teacher, sir. Where would your poor students hide if I showed you all the secret passages? And we're there now."
Sirius was sitting cross-legged on one of the desks, the contract balanced on his knees as he scribbled notes in the margins. He looked up and smiled at Holly when they entered, motioning her to his side. "Hey, come here. I wrote a few things down for you, and I made copies of the contract."
Holly took a deep breath, sinking into a chair next to Sirius, who immediately reached out to squeeze her shoulder, while Snape and Malfoy settled into their own chairs and accepted the copies Sirius had made.
"So, may we know which changes you were considering?" Malfoy asked once again, all business-like.
"Well, first of all, I want to clarify that the peace offer should be valid for both the Wizarding and the Muggle world," Holly began, trying to decipher Sirius' loopy handwriting. "And not just for Order members, but for all my friends."
"I doubt the Dark Lord has any interest in the Muggle world, but we can certainly specify that point," Malfoy commented, conjuring up a quill and starting to add his own notes.
"I also want to continue my education here in Hogwarts. If he wants to insist on extra lessons, I'll agree to that," Holly said, trying not to think about what Voldemort might want to teach her.
Malfoy hummed thoughtfully, making a note but without giving any indication one way or the other.
"You can scratch the third one. I won't need him to 'provide' for me. I have enough money of my own," Holly continued, not waiting for their reaction and ignoring Malfoy's arched look at her hand-me-down clothes. "I also want more visiting time with my friends: Every second weekend plus the school holidays. And I want them to be able to visit me whenever they like as long as they promise to be respectful."
"I'll have to discuss that with the Dark Lord. It seems a bit excessive," Malfoy stated.
"You do that, sir," Holly agreed. "Then I want to clarify that his promise not to hurt me 'willingly or deliberately' will extend to the Death Eaters and that he will not order or compel anyone to hurt me."
At this, Malfoy looked up sharply. "Why should he order us to hurt you? You are to be his wife - he will do everything in his power to protect you."
Holly gave him an irritated look. "Yes, that seems likely. In that case it shouldn't be a problem for him to commit to it in writing."
She leaned closer to Sirius, suddenly feeling exhausted, lost and small between the three grown-up men.
Sirius laid his arm protectively around her shoulders, taking over. "For the expectations: We don't like that point with the company. Holly is not a rare animal that he can take from its cage and show around whenever he feels like it. I would suggest that Holly can decide not to answer these summons in justified cases or gets the right to veto Voldemort's request."
"I shall have to discuss this with the Dark Lord as well. Any other points you wish to amend?" Malfoy said, appearing to strive for patience and politeness.
"Actually yes, we think the condition about not hexing the Death Eaters has to be revised," Sirius answered smugly.
"And on what grounds, may I ask?" the Death Eater demanded, exchanging an irritated look with the Potions Master, who had limited himself to sneers and taking notes so far.
"Well, Holly is a young witch and every witch should be able to use her magic." Sirius grinned. "And as James' daughter it's practically her birth right to pull pranks."
Professor Snape's sneer deepened.
"I fail to follow your logic, but I shall discuss that with the Dark Lord as well. Was that the last point?" Malfoy inquired.
"No," Holly said, twisting her fingers together to keep them from shaking. "I… Kids! I don't want them… at least not… no."
Malfoy's face remained impassive as he made another note in the margins of his parchment and she couldn't quite tell if he was only amused by her embarrassment or at least slightly sympathetic to her fear. "I feel certain that the Dark Lord would be open to postpone any such discussion for at least a few years."
"Good," Holly murmured, taking a deep breath. "I guess that's something. I have two more questions and one last demand."
"Yes?" Malfoy delicately arched one eyebrow.
"What are the consequences of a breach of contract? Because if Voldemort can just kill me as soon as I'm at his mercy and then say, 'My bad, I guess we'll go back to war now.' I fail to see how that would inspire him to keep his word."
"It's a magical contract, Miss Potter," Malfoy replied as if that should be answer enough; she crossed her arms over her chest. "And that means what exactly?"
"Sweet Morgana, what do you teach these children?" Malfoy demanded of Professor Snape, who sneered nastily.
"The students have one of the largest magical libraries in the world at their disposal, Lucius. It's unfortunate if some of them are too distracted by their extracurricular activities to make proper use of it."
"The breach of any magical contract has severe consequences, Holly," Sirius explained, ignoring the two other wizards to actually answer her question. "If you sign one, you give not only your word, but a vow on your magic. If Voldemort should violate any of the agreed upon terms it is very likely that he will pay with at least a considerable part of his magic, if not all of it."
"If a magical contract is broken, the party in breach of contract will bear the full consequences at the discretion of the injured party," Snape informed her, sounding as if he was quoting from a book.
"Oh, okay. But that brings me to my second question," Holly replied, trying to rid herself of the poisonous thoughts of what it would feel like to lose her magic. "I can make such a vow for myself and the terms that concern me. But I have no influence on whether or not the Ministry of Magic or the Headmaster and the Order of the Phoenix uphold their part of the deal. So how are you going to account for that?"
"Professor Dumbledore and Minister Fudge will also sign the contract once we have agreed on any necessary amendments. Each party will initial the terms that are in their purview to uphold," Snape explained, tapping his quill lightly on the parchment. "Which means that you will not be held liable for any breach of contract on the part of the Ministry or the Order; and they shall not be held liable if you decide to engage in your usual idiocy."
"Let's try to remain civil, shall we?" Malfoy intervened before turning back to her. "If I recall correctly, you wished to offer one last amendment?"
"Not an amendment. A demand," Holly corrected, straightening her back. "I want Peter Pettigrew delivered to the Ministry with a full confession on his lips. Before the… before the wedding."
"I shall see to it," Malfoy promised with a smirk. "It will surprise you, no doubt, but the Dark Lord isn't overly fond of the little rat."
Holly sent him a genuine smile, feeling Sirius giving her shoulder a grateful squeeze before he said, "I think that should be all then, unless you have something to add."
"I doubt the Minister or Professor Dumbledore will have any objections since they both were willing to accept the initial offer," Snape said, disappearing his copy of the contract into his billowing black robes.
"The Dark Lord might wish to fine-tune some of your amendments, but I'm confident that we can settle on mutually agreeable terms," Malfoy confirmed, also getting to his feet and reaching for Holly's hand to lightly kiss her knuckles. "Miss Potter, it has been my pleasure."
Holly blushed a little, but nodded in acknowledgement before leaning back against Sirius.
"Shall we call it a night, pup?" Sirius asked gently, running his fingers through her wild black hair. "Do you want to stay with Remus and me tonight?"
"Yes, please," Holly agreed immediately, closing her eyes for a moment.