Paint and Powder
A Star Trek anthology by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager et al are the property of CBS Television, and creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
"A ship is always referred to as 'she' because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder."
Chester W. Nimitz
During Encounter at Farpoint...
Lieutenant Commander Data was finding the first mission of the Enterprise-D to be far more interesting than he had first anticipated. Meeting an advanced entity like the Q, whose demands were mysterious and provocative, was something rarely encountered by Federation starships. Most notably the NCC-1701 Enterprise's encounter with the Trelane entity.
It was perhaps appropriate, Data surmised, that a member of that crew was aboard this ship even now. However, the former crewmember was being quite illogical.
"Have you got some reason why you want my atoms scattered all over space, boy?!" Admiral McCoy demanded, as the android walked him down the corridor. Data cocked his head in a birdlike manner.
"Sir, the shuttlecraft is significantly more inconvenient-"
"I don't want to hear it! I ain't gonna have my abs where my hips should be!" He huffed.
"The probability of transporter malfunction is approximately 470,939.1 to one, Admiral," Data responded. The Admiral paused and looked around Data, the android left scanning around for the source of the admiral's discomfort.
"I don't see no points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan!" Admiral McCoy huffed.
Data met the ancient human's gaze, cool and unmoved.
"No, sir. I am an android," Data replied. McCoy snorted, almost resembling an equine in its tone.
"Hmph. Almost as bad." He looked around the corridors. "Well this is a new ship... But she's got the right name."
"She hasn't forgotten you either, Bones," a female voice announced over the speakers. A hologram shimmered into existence in front of them.
"Enterprise?" McCoy asked, looking her up and down.
She was tall, and elegant, but built with muscle and long legs. Her features were human, save for her slightly pointed ears. Her appearance was that of a woman in her early thirties, but her hair was white as snow and flowed behind her like a waterfall. Her eyes were light purple and warm, as she smiled at the old doctor. She wore her uniform, neat and tidy, a short skirt above tall boots. She wore no rank, simply her registration number on her collar:
NCC-1701-D
McCoy looked the woman in her eyes, and gave her a stern look.
"I liked you better in the old uniforms," he harrumphed. Enterprise's Avatar nodded.
"I agree. These are far too tight," she said.
"How are the grandkids?" McCoy inquired. Enterprise beamed.
"They're doing great! George and Gracie would be very proud of their offspring," the avatar said happily. She nodded to Data. "Mister Data is an able operations officer and has handled their care expertly."
"I have only followed Starfleet procedures and adapted for the situation," Data replied. Enterprise beamed.
"And he's modest, too!"
"I am not modest. I have no emotions," Data responded. McCoy chuckled.
"You'll get them down eventually, boy. She did," McCoy said, looking more kindly at the android. He tossed a wry look back at the hologram. "Though she still struggles."
"That's because I had such poor teachers," Enterprise shot back. McCoy laughed again.
"Oh Lord, how I have missed you," he said. Enterprise's eyes glowed softly for a moment, before she nodded.
"Your shuttlecraft is ready for departure, Admiral. You're in the best of hands," Enterprise said gently. "We'll have to catch up again some time."
"I've got nothing but," McCoy replied. The hologram vanished. McCoy nodded, looking over at Data.
"Now you remember her name, you hear?" McCoy barked. Data nodded back dutifully, as they resumed walking down the corridor.
"I will, sir."
McCoy chuckled again, shaking his head. He patted the bulkhead nearby affectionately.
"You treat her like a lady… and she'll always bring you home."
Data detected just the faintest hint of Enterprise's laughter, perhaps indicating... Fondness? But his auditory sensors may not have been functioning properly.
Still, the idea that he might one day achieve what Enterprise had was certainly... Intriguing.
Inspired by Azur Lane and Kancolle, this anthology tries to answer the question: What if Star Trek starships had shipboard AIs, like in Andromeda?