Title: Trial by Combat

Summary: When the developers of a crappy Otome game mistook trial by combat for honor duels.

Foreword:

I woke up and had very little memory of writing this thing. Jet lag really hit me hard. I apologize in advance.

I had just bested Brad after knocking him out with a shovel. However, the referee did not call the match. When I looked at him, he made no movement beyond giving me an inquisitive look.

"Sir Bartfort, are you currently resting to prepare for your next match?"

How thoughtful of him. He was willing to give me extra rest time between matches. It was a little insulting since Brad went down in a second, but it was the thought that counts.

"I'm waiting for you to call the match. Brad clearly cannot continue."

"Sir Bartfort, the match is not over."

"He's clearly unable to continue."

"Yet he still breathes."

"... What?"

"His vitals indicate he still lives."

"I know that. Are you telling me to kill him?"

"It is what you signed up for."

Suddenly, Angelica's lack of support from her vassals or the other fiancées' vassals made a lot more sense.

"I thought this was an honor duel!"

"Did no one tell you what was expected of an honor duel?"

"Aren't honor duels to first blood?"

"Pft, for children who have not hit double digits. We go to the death here in Holfort. Did nobody inform you of our most sacred traditions?"

The stupid developers must have got honor duels and trial by combat mixed up.

"No! No one told me it would turn into a death match! Why would you allow us to challenge each other to such a thing in the Academy?!"

"Dammit all. This is why I told the staff we needed to keep the courses on noble traditions. Who cares if they should know it already? A healthy reminder of the consequences is never a bad thing."

"Better yet, couldn't you make honor duels below a certain age illegal?"

"What a brilliant idea! That's something we should bring up with the Queen in the future even if it flies in the face of everything the Kingdom stands for."

I could do without the sarcasm.

"So in light of this misunderstanding, can we forgo the murdering bit?"

"Unfortunately, this is too public a spectacle. There will be a bloodbath one way or another. Plus honor duels at your age are still legal. You will have to kill him as honor demands."

"What honor is there in death?!"

This had to be some crazy bluff by the staff to get me to surrender. It was obvious the heirs could not win. The staff had to be trying to earn their favor.

"You could also forfeit, but you'd have to die. I assume you would be averse such an outcome?"

My hopes died an ugly death.

"Can we call the whole thing off? I'm sure Angelica would not wish for me to kill her fiancé."

"Then she dies. Besides, she's a Redgrave. I'm certain she is having the time of her life watching a man slaughter on her behalf. It's quite possibly the most romantic thing you could do for a Redgrave. I sincerely doubt she would back off now."

And now suddenly Angelica's lack of concern for the prince after the ball made sense. Her insistence to get to know me instead of telling me to walk away or to not hurt her fiancée also made more sense. Her lewdly low cut dress as well. I was really dense wasn't I?

"What is it with you people and killing each other?!"

"You're the one fighting for a woman from a ducal family named Redgrave. You didn't think they earned both the rank and name for a reason?"

"I thought it was just a really cool name. Also, something I just thought of, why would you ever allow engaged individuals of the royal line to challenge each other? In either situation, the future royal couple will be down by at least one!"

"To be fair, marital honor duels happen all the time. Much cleaner than a divorce. Just had my third last week. Anyways, the challenge was issued for the Lafan girl. Had His Highness and his friends not volunteered as champions, it would be the daughter of an impoverished viscounty against the daughter of the most bloodthirsty family of Holfort. If the girl had been stupid enough to accept without a champion, it would have been like watching a lion hunt a lamb. Bloody entertaining for all."

"Yet he did volunteer! Do you not see the issue?"

"I know. The idiot made things so much more complicated by forcing the Lafan girl to accept. Even if it would have been boring and a tad bit inconvenient for her, she simply could have not picked up the glove and no one would have to be killing anyone."

"Wait, we could have avoided this whole thing?!"

"Indeed. Doubly had you not volunteered and convinced the Redgrave girl to continue on, not that it took much convincing. Though I don't blame you. She'll surely warm your bed for many nights when you slaughter the rest, and she is quite fetching if I do say so myself. I would suggest playing up the brutality. She might even be willing to marry you if you shower the arena in more blood. Rank be damned."

"Ignoring the fact you are a teacher literally telling me how to get laid with another of your attractive students by murdering five other students, are you saying that I quite literally cemented the eradication of the founding heirs?"

"If this match was anything to go by, then yes. Lambs to the slaughter. So now that you know, can we get on with it? I'd like to get back to my fourth wife before she gets annoyed enough to give her reasons to find a sixth or me reasons to find a fifth. Or at least put on a show instead of knocking them down in an instant to justify the time you are taking."

"This is the heir to a founding family. They're all heirs to the founding families. Can't we make an exception?" I whined.

"We have spares for a reason, Sir Bartfort."

After four executions, I was met with the crown prince. He was babbling about how he would avenge his friends and secure his love through the support of his very dead friends. He spouted about using the power of friendship when he had no friends left.

He also spouted something about love, but Marie looked as though she had none to give.

How? How were the heirs so stupid to continue the matches despite seeing how easily I dispatched Brad? How was it that each consecutive heir happily ran into their coffins after witnessing me kill the previous in a much more bloody showing than the last to instill fear into them? If anything, watching me smear their friends only seemed to make them more excited.

I painted the walls red and I had used Jilk as a mop, and Julius only grew a manic smile. Each one of them did before their matches.

They had no evidence to back up their confidence, and not one of them thought of running. They simply waxed on about squashing me like the bug I was.

At least Luxion was ecstatic. I'm fairly certain it was a bad thing for both the short-term and long-term, but at least he won't whine about me not killing New Humans. He'll be insufferable and state how we must respect their culture.

Looking over to Olivia, I began to wonder how she felt about all of this. As my only female friend and the only commoner here, I wanted to know if I horrified her as much as I hated myself.

Seeing her chant something, I asked Luxion to play her voice for me.

"Blood for the Blood Gods!"

Oh, the Saintess was known for hole-y magic and not holy magic. The kind of magic that made holes... in her enemies. Her healing magic was an extension of hole-y magic by filling in holes... only so she can extend the time she had to make more holes.

Suddenly the image of my shy friend excitedly blowing holes in monsters made much more sense.

I just thought she was going in with an offensive layout.

I'm just glad Livia didn't take offense to Angie claiming me right after the duels. As sweet as Livia was when she wasn't on a bloodthirsty rampage, Angie had bigger boobs. I would hate to see my fiancée filled with more holes than she was born with.

"The Masked Knight and Sword Saint challenged me to an honor duel?" I scoffed.

Why would they do this to the Kingdom?! It was already down its heirs! If these two died too, then what was stopping Fanoss from invading? What was stopping the other nations?

At least I could reject them. It would be shameful, but my teacher informed me that no one really cared. It was only an issue if one side backed off after accepting.

"What do you mean I have to fight?!"

"As the future head of Redgrave, you are obligated to accept any and all challenges."

"Wasn't Gilbert supposed to be the next head?"

"He was until he lost a duel with the Masked Knight."

"Why did he duel the Masked Knight?"

"The Masked Knight wanted to challenge you first, but Gilbert said that anyone who wanted to duel you had to go through him first. Literally in this case."

Gilbert was quite possibly the best brother-in-law I could have asked for if he was willing to engage in death matches for me.

Angelica then had to ruin the moment when she said, "It was rather greedy of him. Hogging all the duels for himself like that. He didn't even leave Clarice for me to handle the week after your duel with Jilk."

"Thanks, Angie. I'm feeling the love here," I said sarcastically. She nodded proudly. I continued the original conversation by saying, "Seeing as how the Redgraves no longer have any spares and your Dad lost his balls in one of the duels, I guess we'll just have to decline the duels until further notice."

"What part of have to fight do you not understand?"

"Well I haven't accepted, and I doubt your father would be opposed to me fathering some children first before risking life and limb."

"No I mean you have to fight because the challenge has already been accepted. As your fiancée, my word is as acceptable as yours. I accepted on your behalf, and you will be fighting them at a time most convenient for you. Kindly earn the red in your future name," my incredibly bloodthirsty Redgrave told me.

I should have listened to my brain and not my dick. There was a reason why you don't sleep with crazy no matter how good they looked in red. Livia wouldn't have enrolled me in an honor duel against my will... probably.

That being said, her statement seemed off.

"You didn't accept for yourself?"

"I'm the last fertile Redgrave, not you. Plus, I can't very well risk the baby."

"Oh my god, the Masked Knight was King Roland?"

I slapped my face over the how the population could not see the obvious. What was this? Superman's secret identity?

"By right of conquest, Leon For Bartfort is now the king of Holfort, now to be renamed as the Kingdom of Bartfort."

"He'll be a Redgrave soon enough," my fiancée hollered.

"He's as good as one already," her father added.

"Of course. My apologies. The Kingdom of Redgrave."

How the kingdom had not fallen into the hands of these bloodthirsty maniacs earlier was beyond me.

Jake and his attempt to retake the Kingdom was soon forgotten.

"I swear by all that is hole-y, I will challenge you to an honor duel if you make it illegal for those seventeen and under," Livia pouted.

Somehow, I felt I would lose that fight. Giant robot of no. I saw what happened when she accidentally pointed her magic at the ground.

"Ooh this is the best wedding gift you could have given me! But couldn't you have waited until after the baby was born?" my wife squealed as she held out a letter.

Looking at the contents, I paled.

The Black Knight had accepted an honor duel with me. It would be the entire military force of the Principality against me.

Luxion.

"Livia, why did you blow multiple holes in the Sacred Tree?!"

Livia had just used her hole-y magic and the Saintess's bracelet to open a portal to the Alzer Republic before firing off at the tree. While lowering the Saintess's multi barrel railgun (because of course the staff was a multi barrel railgun) she simply said, "They're heathens, Leon. Worshipping a tree is a challenge for my religion and me if I've ever seen one."

Granting her her rightful place as Saintess was a mistake. I was stupid to think my sweet bullied Livia was any different than this kingdom of psychos.

I must have been drunk or delusional.

Consigning myself the the insanity, I said with a sigh, "Couldn't you have at least waited a few months? Angie's going to be upset she missed a second war because of her second pregnancy."

"I'll make sure she won't miss the third."

AN:

1) Just a random thought I got when I started thinking about how duels are portrayed in movies. Then I thought about the line about how common honor duels were in the Academy (due to Leon). Then I had an idea on honor duels being the center of the Holfort culture instead of adventuring. Then jet lag hit me like a truck.

2) Here is a quick clarification about the differences between an honor duel and trial by combat as a two minute google search will tell you. An honor duel is customarily to first blood. Sometimes showing up and discharging a bullet into the air is sufficient since it is the risk of violence that satisfies honor. Trial by combat was pretty much to the death or surrender to settle legal disputes. Surrender and death means you are guilty.