JENNIE

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Because this Saturday is unlike any other day in existence because I KISSED MY BEST FRIEND last night, I insisted Jisoo and I forego the farmer's market and go straight to brunch with Rosé.

She's been shooting me weird looks all morning, even after Rosé showed up with her sweet disposition. "So, what's this all about?" Rosé asks before taking a sip of her iced coffee. "You never skip the farmer's market."

I pull my lips in, shifting my eyes from one friend to the other.

"Spit it out, Jennie!" Jisoo's wide eyes as she leans into the table toward me are my undoing.

"Lisa and I made out last night!" I bring both hands up to cover my mouth as I take in my friends' reactions.

Jisoo purses her lips, fighting a smile, and sits back in her chair. She points a perfectly manicured finger at me accusingly. "I knew it! I knew this was why you came home so late and had 'Kiss And Make Up' blaring when I woke up this morning."

Rosé squeals in delight. "This is so exciting!" She starts slapping my arm over and over. "Tell. Us. Everything! Was it amazing? Was it all you hoped it would be? Gah, Lisa just seems like she'd be such a good kisser." She presses both hands to her chest like she's about to faint.

"It was so good," I say, letting my smile break free. "Like, I can't even explain it with words."

Rosé squeals again while Jisoo covers her ears. "Okay, we get it, you're excited." Jisoo chuckles. "Now, let's get the nitty gritty details." She zeroes in on me with her signature intimidating look. "Who started it? You or her?"

I fold and refold the napkin on the table. "Well…I may have started it."

"I knew it." Again, Jisoo smirks like she's privy to everything. "I knew you wouldn't last long as soon as you admitted your feelings to us."

I throw up my hands. "I couldn't help it! The girl dressed like a character from my favorite book for me, even reading the series to get fully into character, then asked me to dance at the Halloween party, in front of everyone, mind you," I add, turning toward Rosé, who practically faints at that detail, "and I just got swept up in the moment. Besides." I skip my eyes to Jisoo. "You're the one who told me to put the moves on her. You got in my head!"

She flashes me a satisfied smile while her eyebrows dance up and down.

"But there's more," I say, biting my lip. "After I kissed her, she froze and I feared I'd royally messed up."

"What happened?" Rosé whispers, leaning in like she's hanging on my every word.

"She pulled me out into the hall by the elevators and asked me if I kissed her."

"How could she not have known?" Jisoo's voice rises with skepticism.

"She knew," I say. "I think she just needed me to…I don't know…admit it. Besides, I only kissed her jaw."

"Aww," Rosé simpers, "her jaw."

Jisoo rolls her eyes with a smile. "Okay, so what did you say?"

"Well, at that point I really did think I messed up, so I begged her not to hate me. And that's when she told me she wanted me and pressed me up against the wall."

"Ahhhhh!" Both of my friends squeal now, gaining the attention of people walking past our quaint little table by the sidewalk. I purposely chose outdoor seating at our favorite café for this exact reason, but apparently it wasn't enough. Now we've got literal passersby thinking we're nuts.

"Shhh," I shush my friends. "Keep it down. People are staring." They immediately school their expressions. "Okay, so we're kissing, and then I suddenly get the urge to drag her into the elevator where we continue making out until Stefan opened the elevator doors and caught us."

Both my friends' mouths fall open.

"Your boss caught you?" Rosé asks while Jisoo winces.

I sigh and fiddle with the straw in my coffee. "Unfortunately, yes. And then he proceeded to tell us that we needed to discuss it in his office on Monday."

Rosé scrunches up her nose. "Yikes. That can't be good."

"I'm just resigning myself to the fact that I've lost my chance at the interview with Irene. I figure if I tell myself that now, it'll soften the blow once he actually delivers it." I'm keeping my tone light, pretending like the situation doesn't bother me as much as it does…but inside, I'm reeling with the possibility that kissing Lisa might've lost me the most important assignment of my career thus far.

Jisoo reaches over the table and squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry, Jen. I know how badly you wanted it."

I offer her a reassuring smile. "It's really okay. I don't regret kissing Lisa, even if it was the final nail in the proverbial coffin for me."

Rosé giggles as she opens her menu. "Well, let's order and you can give us all the juicy details about that kiss," she says with a wink.

For a moment, my heart lightens. Because what I said was true. Even if kissing Lisa made me officially lose this interview, it was still worth it. But I can't deny that there's a twinge in my chest that still wishes things could've turned out differently, especially when I'm not even sure I'll have a job after our meeting on Monday.

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I'm on my own for the evening since Jisoo chose to work some overtime at Gail's Department Store. That means I'll be wearing the rattiest clothes I can find while also doing a glittery black charcoal face mask that burns like Hades' hair when I rip it off, and dancing around the house listening to Blackpink's album.

And since I ate super healthy all day, I might even indulge in the tiniest bowl of ice cream while I sit and blog for a bit about the new book Lisa got me.

Lisa.

I've practically floated around on a cloud all day thinking about what we shared last night. In truth, I'm not sure where we're going to go from here, but I'm trying not to be as afraid of it anymore. There's still a low-level anxiety that settles under my skin anytime I remember what went down between me and Kai…but Lisa and I have already crossed that line. There's no going back now.

And it's clear that our feelings are mutual, what with all the delicious, mind-blowingly good kissing we did.

But that's not even the best part. No, that's been the sweet and flirty back and forth texts all day. My phone buzzes on my nightstand again and I practically squeal in delight when I pick it up and toss myself onto my bed, belly first.

As soon as I read the text, I smile from ear to ear. The mask on my face instantly begins to crack, so I school my expression.

Lisa: So if you're home alone tonight…does that mean I can come over?

I release a love-sick sigh and roll over onto my back.

Jennie: I would say yes, but…I'm already in my pajamas.

Lisa: The pink ones?

I bite my lip against a giddy smile.

Jennie: Since when do you memorize my pajamas?

Lisa: Since I come over when you're sick.

Jennie: 'eye roll emoji'

I lay my phone down on the bed and close my eyes, instantly bringing up the memory of that day. I'm still so embarrassed she caught me in nothing but a towel and saw me hack my lungs out afterward, but I should've known then how deep her feelings ran. That was a total girlfriend move.

When there's no immediate response from Lisa, I rise from the bed and turn on my playlist, popping in my earbuds as I go. As much as I'd love to have her over and continue with where we left off last night, the thought of doing so makes me feel like a needy girlfriend.

And if there's anything I've learned from the dating scene this past year, it's that I need to let her make the first moves. Every time I tried to press Tae for more, it only got me less of what I wanted.

So even though I think Lisa is different, taking things slow is probably in my best interest. For once, Jisoo's advice doesn't seem so silly. I'm content to continue our flirty texts all night if Lisa is.

Besides, tonight is the perfect opportunity to deep clean the kitchen. I need to do something that will distract me from the looming meeting with Stefan on Monday. And I'm not left with a ton of time during the week between my job, blogging, and covering local sporting events, so I've got to get it in while I can. Plus, I'm multitasking with the face mask.

I get to work cleaning, belting out the lyrics of the song I'm listening to as I go.

In minutes, I've got the cupboards wiped down and the kitchen island cleared. I'm dancing around with the mop, using the handle as a makeshift microphone while trying to reach a particularly high note in the song, when I spin around and scream bloody murder at the sight of the girl standing in front of me. I drop the mop and jump onto the counter like that would ever save me from an intruder.

Lisa's eyes are wide, an apologetic smile on her face as she holds one hand out to steady me like she might a frightened horse and the other holds a two cartons of ice cream—Rocky Road and Mint Chocolate Chip.

"Lisa!" I screech, yanking the ear buds out of my ears. "You scared the living daylights out of me!" I don't know how to sign living daylights, but I definitely signed the part about her scaring me.

She sets the ice cream down on the island, then takes slow steps toward me. I'm sorry. I just wanted to surprise you. But you didn't answer the door when I knocked…I was worried.

As my erratic heartrate begins to come back down to normal, so do my thoughts. "It's okay. I was just listening to music." I hold up my earbuds, and she nods. The closer she gets to me, the more she looks like she's trying her hardest not to smile. "What is it? What's so funny?"

She purses her lips, then lifts a finger and points at my face. You look a little bit like a swamp monster.

My hand flies to my face as I remember the glittery charcoal face mask that's probably cracked and dried to bits by now. Groaning, I hop off the counter and run to the bathroom to wash it off before I can embarrass myself more.

Once it's gone and my face is dried, I skulk back into the kitchen area where Lisa casually leans against the island with that perfect half-smile of hers. She looks so right standing there, almost like she belongs here. With me. Forever.

I shove the needy thoughts away and walk straight for the ice cream beside her. "My two favorite kinds," I say as well as sign. "Thank you."

You're welcome. Her eyes drift down my body then back up to my face. You're not wearing the pink ones.

I shove her arm and she laughs before her expression turns serious. Sorry to interrupt, I… she shrugs. I just missed you. Wanted to see you.

I suck in a deep breath, then release it. "I missed you too." It feels good to say and even better to see those words come from her first. It gives me hope that her feelings really are as deep as mine. Maybe we won't end in disaster, after all.

I move closer and set my hands on her waist. "So…do you want to stay for a while and hang out?" Cleaning can be left for another night now that she's here.

A slow grin works its way to her face when she signs, Thought you'd never ask. Her gaze drops to my lips, then flicks back to my eyes, questioning. I offer her one solitary nod before she wraps her arms around me and gives me a sweet and slow kiss.

I'm not sure how it's possible but kissing her now feels even better than it did last night. Like a precious keepsake, a promise of something more. Something real and deep and right.

I pull away before either of us can get too carried away like we obviously did in the elevator and ask, "Want to watch a movie?"

She dips her chin while licking her lips and it takes a great amount of effort not to kiss her again. Is it okay if I use the restroom first, she signs, then points down the hall.

"Oh, go ahead." As soon as she leaves, I grab the soft blanket she left here plus my own and throw them on the couch, then head straight for the ice cream she brought. But before I reach it, my doorbell rings.

"What in the world," I mutter to myself as I trek to the door. Tossing it open, my breath hitches. "Tae? What are you doing here?"

"Jennie," he says on a swallow. "I'm sorry to just show up out of the blue like this, but after how we left things, I knew you'd say no to seeing me."

Anger and annoyance swirl together in my gut at his boldness. "If you knew that, then why did you think it was a good idea to show up at my house unannounced?"

His face pales the slightest bit, but he doesn't retreat. "Because you're not taking me seriously. You said you'd give us dating some thought and it doesn't seem like you have. I don't think you really understand how committed I am to you."

He takes a step closer, his eyes searching mine. "And then I realized I used the word like. That was wrong. It didn't—it doesn't—fully encompass how I feel about you." He swallows, the muscles in his jaw jumping. "I love you, Jennie."

I shiver, whether from the evening chill or his words, I'm not sure. "It's too late, Tae. It's over for us. I've moved on." His crestfallen face makes me pause, but I can't give him what he wants. "How many more times do I need to tell you before you believe it?"

"Jennie, please," he begs. "I was an idiot, okay? A total and complete idiot to let you go. You were the best girlfriend I've ever had, and I just know you'll make an amazing wife." Without waiting for a reply, he gets down on one knee on my front step and whips out a ring box.

Opening it, he meets my gaze and says, "Jennie, I know it's unconventional for me to ask you like this and it's sudden…I get that, but—"

"Tae, stop. Don't." I back up, completely stunned by the huge diamond ring in the box and meet a very solid chest at my back.

I spin around and the sight that greets me takes me off guard. Lisa's expression is murderous as her eyes dart from Tae to me. "Lisa," I say, but her eyes aren't on me. I grab her arm to get her attention, but she jerks away at my touch. She refuses to meet my eyes, locking her gaze on Tae.

Slowly, Tae rises to his feet as Lisa advances on him. They stand toe to toe for several seconds, Lisa looming over Tae's slightly shorter frame. Panic overwhelms me when I think they might get into a fight.

I grab Lisa's arm to get her attention and try to explain that I had nothing to do with this, but she shrugs me off again. For too long, the two of them just stare at each other, fuming.

I try one more time to get Lisa's attention. She briefly meets my eyes, then starts to back away from Tae. I step in between them, hoping to diffuse the situation, and start signing, "I didn't know this was going to happen."

Lisa scoffs and shakes her head. You sure? Because I know you're still texting him. He sent you flowers. What else am I missing?

I'm taken aback by her reaction. "I am not still texting him."

Lisa's expression turns pained, torturous. Well, he's texting you. I saw it.

I don't immediately respond because anything I say right now would be said in irritation. She had no right to look at my phone. And she's misconstruing the entire situation.

"What are you guys saying?" Tae interrupts, but we both ignore him.

What else are you hiding from me, Jennie?

Lisa asks. Do you want to get back together with him? To marry him? Her eyes spark in challenge.

Bristling at the notion that I'm somehow entertaining Tae's paltry attempts to get me back, I step forward and look up into Lisa's face. "If you don't already know the answer to that question, we're not as close as I thought we were."

She flinches, then backs up. With one last glare at both me and Tae, she prowls to her truck and drives off, gravel flying in her wake.

I'm stunned to silence as my heart breaks. How could she think I'd want Tae after what we shared?

"What was she doing here?" Tae seethes.

I whirl on my ex. "She is allowed to be here, unlike you. Tae, what makes you think you can come over to my house and propose when I've given you no indication that we are together?" My voice rises with each word as he backs away from me. "You are not welcome here, we are not dating, and we never will be. Do you understand or do I need to resort to more drastic measures?"

His head drops low, and he pockets the ring box. "No, you don't. I-I'm sorry, I just—"

"You just nothing," I say, slicing my hand through the air. "Once again, Tae, you are the one who started ditching me. I may have broken up with you, but you gave me no choice. You lost your chance, I've moved on."

Her eyes meet mine and there's more emotion in them than I've ever seen from him before. "With Lisa?"

I don't offer him a response before I march back inside and slam the door.

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