The State Verses Derek Morgan Ch 36
A few minutes later the team pulled up car by car at casa Rossi and got out of their cars, they all made it inside except for Hotch and Emily who were just pulling up into the driveway. When they got out of the car and made their way the house Emily took her jacket off and hung it up and Hotch was getting ready to take his jacket off when Fran came through the house.
She stood with her hands on her hips and said, "I can't believe I forgot to get that, I just can't believe it", Hotch said, "what did you forget Fran?", she said, "I forgot to get whip cream for one of my pies". As she reached for her jacket he said, "here, I'll go, that way you won't have to get out", Fran said, "thank you Aaron but I can go get it", he smiled at her and said, "no, no, it's no problem I'll go".
Fran stood talking to Emily as Hotch walked out the front door, shutting it behind him, he'd needed to get away from everybody, he needed a few minutes alone and Fran forgetting the whip cream gave him a good excuse. He pulled into the store parking lot a few minutes later, got out of his car and walked inside, picked up a couple of containers of whip cream, paid for them and headed back out to his car.
Once he started the ignition he put the car in drive and headed left out of the parking lot, he knew that he had some time and he really needed some time alone so he pulled off the road, turned his car off and blew out a deep breath. Everything that had happened over the past several days had finally caught up to him, it felt like he had a 1,000 pound weight on his shoulders, it was too much for him to carry.
He hit the steering wheel and said, "WHYYYYYYYYYY, WHY GARCIA, WHYYYYYY?", he hit the steering wheel again and said, "it's not fair, this world needs more people like her so why her, why take her?", he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He reached over and hit the console and said, "it's not fair, it's just not fair, first we lose Garcia and then Derek is arrested for his murder, whyyyyyyyy".
Hotch got out of his car, slammed the door hard and said, "why did this have to happen to Penelope and Derek, they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, Derek was going to tell her that he was in love with her so whyyyyyyy them and why now?", he walked up to the tires one at a time and started kicking them and screaming, "whyyyyyyyyyy".
Tears were now streaming down his face, she had such a kind, loving heart and her life was cut short, why, whyyyyyyy?", he smacked the trunk lid with his fists and said, "she didn't deserve to die, she deserved to be happy, she deserved her happily ever after not what she ended up with, she deserved a life filled with love, peace and happiness".
He walked back to the front of the car and banged on the hood with his fists and said, "I'm so sorry Garcia, I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve this, you didn't deserve this", the tears were flowing down his face and the madder her got the harder he was crying, he couldn't stop, he just couldn't stop crying.
Hotch ranted and raved for about 10 minutes, talking about how unfair it was that she was taken from everybody, how she was the heart and soul of their team, how she was the love of Derek's life, how Jack and Henry worshiped and loved her. As he stood there looking upward he said, "I'm so sorry Garcia, I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you, I couldn't save you, I'm so sorry", he dropped down to his knees on the ground and said, "I'm so sorry", he was now crying so hard that he could barely breathe.
He needed to calm himself down so he tried taking slow deep breaths and after about 7 or 8 it actually started working, he continued standing beside his car, it was such a beautiful night, he smiled and said, "I wish that you could see this sky Garcia and then he said, "it's so pink, it's breathtakingly beautiful".
As he got up off of the ground he said, "I miss you Garcia, we all miss you, we're not the same without you, not by a long shot", as he dusted his knees off he said, "I promise you that I'm going to do what I can to prove that Derek didn't do this and I will get justice for you, I will make whoever did this to you pay and pay for the rest of their lives".
He walked around to the driver's door and climbed behind the wheel, he said, "I've got to get back to Dave and Fran's before they send a search party out looking for me" and as he put the car in drive he said, "I needed that, I've needed that for days but I couldn't break down, I needed to be strong for everybody but tonight, here, I just needed to let it all out".
He took another deep breath and said, "thanks for listening to me rant Garcia", he smiled and said, "there will never ever be another woman like you, not ever, you are one of a kind, you are our all seeing all knowing oracle and life without you will be hard but we will go on because we know that's what you would want us to do".
A few minutes later he pulled up in front of Dave's house, got out of the car and headed inside, Fran said, "good timing Aaron, I just got dinner up on the table", he said, "here you go Fran" and handed her the bag carrying the whip cream. She smiled and said, "thank you", he said, "you're very welcome" as he fell in line behind the others as they headed to the dining room, today's dinner would be different, they would drink, they would eat and they would remember, they would remember the one and only Penelope Grace Garcia in all of her splendor, in all of her grace for the rest of their lives.