Sara glanced up when Grissom came into the office on a Sunday afternoon, her attention had been on her journal. Once the journaling had been a request by her therapist but she'd taken to doing so all the time. She only shared what entries she wanted to share but other than that, her thoughts and feelings filled the pages. Grissom never asked what she was writing about or looked at the pages without prompting. She only wrote on the top pages so that if she left a page marked for him to read, he'd only read that page.

"Hey Gil?"

He sat at his desk, his attention going to the various letters of request for lecture. Some were local and a day or week was possible but others were far away and needed polite letters of rejection. "Yes Dear?"

"Do you remember that girl that sat with me during the FAC where we met? I don't know if you do or not."

His brow furrowed as he thought about it but turned to her before speaking. "The blonde. Fiona Sibyl if I remember correctly. Her papers were always on top yours because of how your names sat alphabetically, that's the only reason I remember."

"Yes. She changed her major to History a week later. Told me she saw too much at the conference and couldn't do it for a career."

"Not everyone can."

Sara nodded, "we've talked on and off for years. More off than on really. She texted me today and wondered if I'd like to get dinner with her and her husband when she comes in town next weekend. I'm guessing she still thinks I'm single, especially since I don't carry any social media. I was going to ask if you'd care about going with me or if you'd prefer I go by myself. I know sometimes socializing isn't your scene."

"You're not dragging me out to a bar or a club. Dinner with your friend and her husband is something I'd be more than happy to attend with you."

"Thank you." She told him as she stood up and moved to him, his hands gently pulling her down so she straddled his lap.

"You're welcome, my darling." He kissed her and Sara grinned as she pulled away, arms around his neck. "Just keep me up to date."

Sara nodded, "I will. I love you."

"You always love me. Not just when I give you what you want."

"I do. I really do." Sara leaned her head against his shoulder and Grissom held her despite the awkward angle. "I can't tell you how much I love you because all the books in the world have enough words for me to properly do so."

"'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.'" He quoted to her.

"Who said it?"

Grissom pulled his head back a fraction so he could kiss her forehead. "Aristotle."

"How goes the letters?" Sara asked picking up one.

He turned his head to where she faced, seeing one of the letters in her hands. "Slow but I only have a few left."

"When was the last time you took a sabbatical?"

"Before I met you. I used to take one every five to ten years for just a month. Teach students, learn new things myself, and travel."

Sara glanced at him. "If you want to, I'll be okay for a month. It's been almost ten years so you're on schedule."

"How much time do you have saved up?"

"Hmm, enough. However, due to no paid maternity care, I have to save mine for next year or the year after. We talked about having a baby and I know I don't want to pull a Catherine and be back two weeks later. I want to stay home for a month or two. Get to know the little human I grew for nine months."

Grissom ran his hand up and down her back. "I'll look at parental leave policies. I'm sure there's a loophole somewhere."

"If anyone could find it, it'd be you." Sara picked up a second letter and read it. "Here's one. Brooklyn College, New York. It's a seminar so you could teach whatever you wanted, at least in theory."

"Are you trying to make me leave for a reason I don't know about?" He asked watching her.

"Yes, I got bored of you and I took a lover. I want you gone for a few weeks so I can have him all to myself." Knowing she was playing, he kissed her bare clavicle and felt the shiver that ran across her body. Closing her eyes, Sara whispered in his ear. "There's only you. My one and only, my forever."

The whole case regarding the crucifixion of a singer who was stuck between a priest and another guy just confused Sara. Not for the aspect of love triangles but because of the whole Catholicism angle. Grissom had texted her and told her that he'd gone back to the church to speak to the priest on some admin stuff that they were known to speak to victims and families of time to time. Closing the SUV, Sara looked up at the church knowing it had been years since she'd been in one and as a child, she'd been scared of not believing. Her grandparents always took her every Sunday and Wednesday, up until they died. Years later, she knew the fear of punishment was pointless.

Entering the nave, she walked down towards the front where she saw Grissom just sitting at the front with the priest. She could tell they were talking but she didn't know what about. Her footsteps were heard as both looked her way but Grissom must have said something to reassure the priest because he paused in his rising. Sitting down in the pews a few rows back, Sara waited patiently for them to finish and eventually they did. Grissom stood as did the priest and they started up the center aisle, Grissom paused as they reached her.

The priest smiled at her. "Mrs. Grissom."

"Father Frank." She spoke calmly. "I'm sorry for your loss."

He seemed confused. "I wasn't aware that crimes could be spoken about with families."

"I'm a CSI, same as Gil." Sara stated calmly, feeling Grissom's hand on her back.

The man nodded. "Of course. Thank you for the sentiment."

He started up the aisle so Sara asked a question. "Where are your votive candles located?"

The priest turned to her. "The foyer."

"Thank you." Sara reached her hand out towards Grissom and he took it, allowing her to lead.

The foyer was empty but Sara found the candles and removed money from her back pocket, placing it in the slot. She knew Grissom was watching her as she lit one candle and then a second. He followed and did the same, except one was lit by him. "I light one for my father every year."

"My grandparents." Sara stated as she turned towards him. "My parents were volatile and they knew it but they held faithful that things would change. Every Sunday and Wednesday they'd drag me to mass and for those first seven years, I believed like all children did. Even after they died, I prayed in my room every day for things to get better. Those prayers stopped one day when I was twelve. I knew God never loved me. I always light candles for my grandparents because while I'm not faithful, I don't discount their faith." She turned to him, "just like I don't discount yours. Whatever I said in the future, know I won't ever discount your faith."

Grissom nodded and put his arm around her. "I know that Sara, I do."

"How do you believe in science and God?"

"I always draw back to what my mother told me as a boy. With no God, there is no science. Science at its foundation is so perfect, too perfect, to be made by mistake. Do you know of Pascal's wager?"

Sara though and watched him. "No. What is it?"

"Simply put, Pascal's wager suggests that if you believe in God and he isn't real, you lose nothing. If you believe in God and he's real, you have everything to gain."

Sara smiled. "You choose to believe because either way, your faith is safe."

"I believe because I have faith. I accept my faith because of who I am." He kissed her forehead, "I also know he gave me you safe and sound."

Confused, she glanced at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"When Adam Trent held you hostage, I prayed for so much in such a short amount of time. The one thing I prayed for most was for him to let me have you safe. I could accept anything if you were safe. If you left Vegas, or CSI, or never spoke to me again. I could give you up if you were kept safe. I could bury everything I felt if he just kept you safe. I think the last thing was the most important, the thing that made him decide. I promised I'd love you like you deserved, like you hadn't since you were a child. Seconds later you were free and I know it sounds…" Grissom's words were stopped by her kissing him.

After pulling back, Sara hugged him tight. "I understand. If it had been you instead of me, maybe I would have prayed also. I doubt anything will restore my faith but I'm glad you didn't lose yours."

"He kept you safe Sara, so I know there is a God." Grissom held her tight. "I'm also going to keep that promise to love you like you should have been since day one."

Sara pulled away and nodded as she caressed his cheek. "You have. I've felt more love the time we've been together than I have since I was a child. One day, we'll do what my parents never did and love our own child unconditionally."

Saturday arrived and Sara found herself in a blue cocktail dress that had been bought on a whim when out with Wendy and Casey. The chiffon covered polyester dress had a round collar and short sleeves. Grissom stood in the doorway to the bathroom watching her put her hair up in its usual chignon hair, held in place by a clip. She smirked as she put on her makeup, knowing he was watching her.

"Can you get my butterfly?" She asked after capping her mascara and put it in the drawer before grabbing her eyeshadow. "Should be in the drawer."

Grissom moved the two feet to the dresser and opened the top drawer to find the butterfly necklace he'd given her for their wedding. A necklace that had earned him the restriction of buying no more jewelry for her, costume included, till their first wedding anniversary. Going over his allotted budget had earned him that restriction once she saw the cost on their joint account. He'd mentally kicked himself for not using his own when he'd realized how she figured it out.

"Is your dress new?"

Sara chuckled as he walked over to put the necklace around her neck and clasped in place. "You know its new. Don't play coy with me Gilbert."

"I don't know why I try anymore." He stated factually before kissing her neck. "I'll feed Hank while you finish up."

"For the record," Sara spoke as she applied lip gloss and he turned back to her in the doorway. "I love that you at least try. Means you have an interest in what I wear instead of just what's underneath. Last week I heard the exact opposite from not one but three married friends of that bridal kidnap case. The whole conversation I kept thinking how grateful I was that you love me in whatever I wear."

Grissom walked over to her and placed his hands on her waist, watching her through the mirror as he did. "I loved you for years just being in your company and seeing you smile. While the occasional fantasy did happen, most of my dreams had you sitting across from me having a conversation. So most of my dreams of you are you fully clothed."

"Same." Sara smiled at him through the mirror before turning in his arms. "I will say that I still find it strange that we get more aroused via conversation than lack of clothing."

"I don't."

Sara watched him as he spoke. "What's your theory?"

"Same as before. Dreams and reality aren't that far off for us. What was it you said when I asked if you had any fantasies?"

"Reality has always been better than fantasies." She told him as she smiled. "Hmm, they have. Although, sex is great too."

Kissing her on her cheek, Grissom pulled away. "I'm going to go feed our dog before neither of us make it to dinner."

"Just proving my point." She spoke after him as she turned back to the sink.

Despite rarely eating on The Strip, Sara knew her friend was less likely to end up in a bad part of town. Especially after Greg, she had directed her friend to one of the Italian restaurants at New York, New York and had set up the reservations under her maiden name so she could control the situation. Grissom had seen it as her need for control but he knew she worried about her friend being injured given the beating being less than a month before.

"Reservations under Sidle." Sara stated as she pulled off her peacoat, holding it in her arms as the maître inquired with her. "We may have already had two of the party arrive."

The man nodded. "Of course, right this way."

"Sara?" Grissom's voice made her turn and she saw him with his phone. "Ecklie. If it's important, I'll tell him to give us two hours."

Sara nodded knowing Grissom could get them two hours. "I'll get settled. No wine, I'm guessing?"

"Just to be safe. I'll know more once I get to the table."

The maître showed Sara to the table and she did see her friend stand immediately upon seeing her. "Sara Sidle, oh it's so good to see you." She hugged Sara and the brunette pulled away, "right, right I forgot you're not all hugs and kisses."

Sara sat down and pushed back the two strands of hair she always left undone when her hair was put up the way it was. The maître handed her a menu and she smiled, "thank you."

"Of course. I'll show your husband in when he's ready."

Sara nodded before they were left alone and she smiled as she saw Fiona starring at her. "Okay, first of all, it's been years. I mean, I knew you moved to Vegas but it's been seven years since I last saw you." Fiona motioned to her husband, "this is Brad Wyler, my husband of three years. Brad, this is Sara. I've told you so much about her already. Speaking of, where is your husband?"

"Oh, he's taking a phone call."

"Let me guess, businessman? Lawyer?" Fiona pointed at her, "no, that's not you."

Sara motioned towards Fiona. "You actually know him, sort of."

"Really? Where from?"

"Forensic Academy Conference, the one you went to with me then a week later changed your major to history."

"Right, that conference. I have to tell you Sara, that just did me in for forensics." Fiona sighed, "was it the cute guy you chatted up as he sat in front of us. Or was it the redhead who tried to flirt with you badly at the cocktail hour?"

Sara chuckled, "funny that. It's a bit of a convoluted roller-coaster complex love story. No, it actually is the instructor for the course."

"The instructor?" Fiona asked before gathering herself. "The instructor that showed all those images and the bugs."

Sara nodded, "yeah, it's a lot for some people. I know."

Fiona seemed confused. "He should be in his sixties now, right?"

"He's fifty actually, we just celebrated by visiting LA and his mother." Sara told her but there was an edge to her voice, she didn't like how Fiona was talking.

"I think I'm just confused because Sara, you're in your thirties. I know I'm a few years younger but still. He's not blackmailing you, is he?"

Sara spoke firmly. "No, he's not."

"I have a friend, her brother would be perfect for you. He works for Los Angeles' crime lab."

Seeing the conversation was going nowhere, Sara stood up and held onto her coat while pulling on her purse. "You know Fiona, I'm seeing it's probably been too long between the last we spoke. I'm happy and I love my husband, in fact if you knew the truth, it'd probably shock you to know the attraction has been there from the moment we shook hands at the end of the lecture. For both of us. God if you only knew what we've had to go through to be together, it would just blow your mind. Because it's been years of blood, sweat, and tears." She shook her head. "So, have a good dinner. Don't bother calling me again."

"Sara…"

Grissom looked up as he closed his phone to see Sara leaving the serving area, anger and pain on her face. "Sara?"

"I just want to go." She paused in front of him. "Home, work, I don't really care."

Reading over her face, he nodded. "Come on."

Standing by the valet spot, Grissom placed his arm around Sara and she leaned into him. Her forehead rested against his chest and he hugged her fully. "She thought us being married is wrong. It wasn't worry or concern but more taken aback, almost questioning. Asked if you were blackmailing me. Then she tried to suggest her friend's brother." Sara closed her eyes for a second. "I don't expect people to understand our age difference or our relationship but I want at least some respect."

Grissom kissed her temple. "People fear what they don't understand."

"I know but if she was my friend, she would have kept her mouth shut."

Pulling away from Sara a fraction had her lifting her head. "Even if she isn't your friend like you thought she was, you're not without any."

Sara nodded. "I know that. I do."

Grissom took her coat from her arms and held it out for her to put her arms in. "Warmer?"

"Yeah." She reached up and undid the clip from her hair, shoving it into her coat pocket after combing her hand through her hair. "What did Ecklie want?"

"Desert Relay. Apparently, we have to start training for the upcoming spring. I'm to remind everyone that we are required to take part. I told him that we are required to train twenty CSIs so he has to tell Lena and Daryll that we're all training."

Pointing at him, her finger against his chest, Sara grinned. "The fact that the mayor of Baker being murdered last year was the thing that made the relay not happen, means it needs to happen again this year. I mean, between our team, we could make it look like suicide or accidental."

"We can't kill the mayor every year."

"Just as many as it takes for them to call it off indefinitely." Sara shook her head. "I hated training for that thing. Did you not hear me say that every single day we all trained together for the last few years?" Thinking, she shook her head. "No, you know what, I can solve this for at least me. No one over twenty weeks can run. I'm calling my gynecologist Monday morning."

Grissom laughed as he put his hands on her arms. "I'm sure that's true but do you really want to be nine months in the middle of a Las Vegas heat wave?"

"Gah, I hate you." She told him after thinking and turning.

"You love me." He told her as he held her from behind. "However, whenever you're ready for a baby, so am I."

Sara leaned her head against his. "I do hope we have at least one girl."

"Hmm, girl or boy I don't care. Healthy is all I want, healthy and safe. Both mother and child."

"Your mom said there's a chance of deafness."

He nodded his head against hers. "I hope not but there's surgery and if not, deaf doesn't mean unhealthy. Just a different normal."

"Good thing I insisted on learning sign language." Sara's car pulled up at that moment so they pulled apart. "So, I'm thinking of dinner and a movie curled up on the couch."

Grissom accepted the keys from the valet. "What do you have in mind?"

"Greg recommended Turner and Hooch."

"Surely you jest." He told her across the hood.

Sara laughed, "of course, how about Legend of Zorro?"

"Better." He told her as they climbed into the vehicle, unaware of her friend at the door having been watching them.

Let me know what you think of this. I love that Sara never discounts Grissom's faith. Plus we've always have that friend that judges us.