Chapter Two: Memories

November 1, 1981

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Marlene asked, with that sexy pout she knew Sirius could hardly resist. "Last chance to liven up what I'm sure will be a very dull party. We could ask Lily or Hestia to watch the baby."

"Marlene, your cousin's a Squib," Sirius said.

"This isn't exactly breaking news; I grew up with the man…grew up with the man…grew up with the man…Fine I'll go by myself…myself…go by myself…"

"I'm just saying it would be hard to explain to his Muggle friends that the potion making smoke come out of our daughter's ears is only a cure for her head cold. Not to mention he always makes fun of my penchant for leather. Besides, she's asleep. She's finally asleep…."

And then there was Dumbledore holding a copy of the Evening Prophet in his gnarled hands.

MUGGLE NEIGHBORHOOD ATTACKED; WIZARDS COUNTED AMONG THE DEAD

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss…your loss…loss…loss"

"No, Marly, no! I'll go with you! I'll go with you!"

He thrashed about in a sweaty tangle of sheets.

"Sirius, it's okay. Did you hear me, Siri? It's okay."

The black-hooded creature turned on the Healer, who felt as though she had been doused with a bucket of ice water, her own worst memories swimming unbidden in front of her mind's eye. "You Blood-traitor ingrate! After all we've done for you, all your good breeding! Never darken our doorstep again…doorstep again…"

"Get out of here, you bloody creature! Expecto Patronum!"

Rubeus Hagrid laughed as Harry grabbed a fistful of his auburn beard. "Lil tyke. Ooh, we've gotta be careful not ta wake yer mum."

"Too late," said Lily groggily, as she blinked against the harsh lights of her St. Mungo's hospital room. "If he gets to be too much for you, Hagrid, feel free to give him to Sirius."

"Can't do that, Mrs. Potter."

"What do you mean? Has Sirius gone somewhere?"

"Yeh could say that, yeah."

Lily sat bolt upright. "Hagrid, what are you talking about? Where is Sirius? And I would appreciate an honest answer if it's all the same to you."

Hagrid was about to respond when the attending Healer walked into the room. "I see she's awake. Thank you, Hagrid, I'll take it from here."

"Right. Well, I s'pose I better be getting back to the castle, then. Bye-bye, Harry. 'Dromeda."

"Bye," Harry chirped from his place in his mother's arms, while Healer Andromeda Tonks nodded in farewell.

Lily spared a smile for her son, who seemed inordinately happy considering the events of the past twelve hours. She wondered if he understood that his father was never coming back, or if he expected Daddy to come through the door at any moment fresh from a late-night shift at the Ministry of Magic. She hoped Sirius would be back by the time Harry started asking for James.

"Where's Sirius, Andi?"

Andromeda sighed as she tucked a soft brown tendril behind her ear. "He's been arrested and sent to the prison ward."

"Why the prison ward, on what charges? And since when does St. Mungo's even have a prison ward?"

"You know the Healer Code of Conduct, Lily. After all, you were starting your apprenticeship before this bloody war broke out and you had to go into hiding. We treat everyone, no matter how despicable. Not that I count Sirius among the Death Eaters. Nevertheless, he's been arrested for the murders of your husband and Peter Pettigrew as well as twelve Muggle bystanders. Bagnold has the Muggles thinking it was a gas explosion. Surely you know how much he despised our family's Pureblood ideals. He would never…"

"He didn't. He thought he was too obvious a choice for a Secret-Keeper, that the Death Eaters would make him right away. A week ago, he suggested we use that to our advantage. He would be the decoy, when in reality, we would perform the Fidelius Charm again using Peter."

"As long as know…"

"I want to see him, Andi. I want to go to the prison ward and see Sirius."

"Absolutely not!" Andromeda shook her head.

"But—"

"I'm sorry, Lily, but you took a very strong Stunner to the chest. If I let you near the Dementors, I might as well be inviting someone to yank my Healer's License, and I'd deserve it too. I was having trouble with the Dementors myself when I went in there to give him a potion just now. He's badly Splinched from trying to Side-Along with more than one person at a time."

Lily turned green. "Fine, but I don't understand. I know Sirius must be out of his mind with grief, but even with his legendary temper, he wouldn't leave his daughter behind to seek vengeance against the likes of Peter. He's the last person Polaris has on this earth since Voldemort wiped out the entire McKinnon family. Surely, Sirius isn't the kind of person who leaves his daughter without anyone in the world."

"She has someone. Us. Sirius left Polaris at the house with Ted and Nymphadora before going off to check on James and Peter. According to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, that amounts to premeditation. But I don't want you to worry about Polaris."

"I'm not worried about her." There was no need to be. Andromeda and Ted's daughter would no doubt dote on her little cousin. "But I would like to see her. So would Harry."

"Of course. I'll arrange it."

November 5, 1981

Lily's wish would be granted some days later, when Polaris appeared at James' memorial service. Andromeda looked as funereal as everyone else in her black dress robes, but Lily noticed that compassion had softened her angular Black features. In her arms was Polaris who screwed up her face at the sight of Harry so that the only difference between the two of them was the raw lightning-bolt shaped scar that now graced Harry's forehead.

"Her morphing is coming along nicely," Lily laughed, tickling the child. "Isn't it, Rissa?"

"Uh-huh," said Rissa, squealing.

"Yes, she and Nymphadora have begun having competitions. I suppose it's in the Black genes."

"Rissa shouldn't be here," said a voice from behind them. "She's just a child."

Andromeda turned an icy glare toward the speaker, an exhausted-looking Remus Lupin. "So is Harry, or are you merely objecting to the presence of Sirius' child, who has as much right to say goodbye to her godfather as his own son does. It's the one goodbye I can give her, since Sirius will be transferred from the prison ward to Azkaban soon, and Merlin knows that's no place for a child."

"No place for Sirius either," whispered Lily. "I tried to speak to Barty Crouch but it was no use. He said he'd look soft if twelve Muggles died and he didn't do anything about it, regardless of whether the wizard who died was a traitor or not. When is he being transferred?"

"Tonight."

Remus said nothing.

Andromeda turned on him. "You believe what the Minister and Crouch are saying about him, don't you? You think Sirius is a Black, and therefore a murderer!"

"He thought I was a werewolf, and therefore a spy." Remus said this in a harsh whisper, afraid to be overheard.

"Well, you're both wrong, aren't you? Happy Christmas if I don't see you, Lily."

"Happy Christmas, Andi, and 'Happy birthday' to you, little one. Can Aunt Lily have a kiss, please? I really need one."

The child obliged. When Andromeda was gone, Lily spoke, "Remus, I'm so sorry. We should have told you about the idea to switch Secret Keepers."

"Yes, you should have. Excuse me while I go eulogize my best friend."

He turned from her and walked up to the dais.

"Hello. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Remus Lupin. I met James Potter on our first ride on the Hogwarts Express. I was a rather lonely boy at the time, always with my nose in some book or other. But James had an electric personality. He could convince anybody of anything, even me. Sometimes this got him into trouble. Okay, a lot of times it got him into trouble, and sometimes, he was even a right git. Lily could tell you that. She was not a fan of him at the beginning. I was happy to have a friend who in the end, was the most protective human known to Merlin. He gave his life for his wife and child and I promise to do the same, if called upon. He was more than my friend. I consider him my brother. James, I will miss you more than words can say. Thank you."

Remus sat down without once looking Lily in the eye. This would continue to haunt Lily as she put Harry in his newly repaired crib, checked the new wards, and began to sullenly peruse The Book of Magical Etymology. Penning the crosswords for The Daily Prophet was not as fulfilling as being a Healer. Not to mention, it wasn't nearly as fun without the lure of coming up with one that it took Sirius more than five minutes to solve. She doubted they allowed newspapers to the prisoners in Azkaban. But just in case…