So Squall was her 'present'.
Though Rosa was loathe to admit it, the Emperor's 'present' had its desired effect. She was irritable and frustrated by the initial surprise, and genuinely nervous for its future implications. She was nervous for herself and how much aid she could reasonably give, and she was nervous for the other warriors. There was no way to plan for whom he would target next. It was no longer safe for them to go on missions. She couldn't help but wonder what would happen if any of them fell for good. What would happen to Cosmos and her already-weak power, and what would happen to morale if any of them was too injured to save?
She felt like she was winding up a spring. Unable to relax in case she was caught off-guard when the Emperor leaped out, but drained from the feeling of constant vigilance that ground against her nerves while she turned the crank.
What else was she to do in the meantime, besides worrying? She couldn't train anymore, not if she had to be ready. Did she simply bide her time and wait until his next attack? Stay confined to Sanctuary at all hours, the only White Mage on call, with no hopes of leaving? What could Warrior do? Would he still send mission groups out, knowing the Emperor would be there ready to attack?
"It's a perfect plan," she thought, snorting to herself as she ran her hand through Sanctuary's water. She pushed it a little harder than she intended, and a small splash picked up, sending ripples through the pool. Cecil shifted beside her, disturbing her place pressed up against his side, and she lifted her head from his shoulder so they could face each other.
"What's wrong?"
"Where do I start?"
Cecil didn't answer. He put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close to him again. A simple, reassuring gesture, offering support regardless of if she shared her pain aloud with him. It normally would have been enough to bring her comfort - even his very presence in a time like this would have brought her comfort. She was too on edge for his unspoken solace to take root in any form.
Rosa sighed instead, placing all of her frustrations into the sound. She imagined expelling all the tension in her body and it worked, for a few moments. The second her mind wandered away from staying calm, the nervous anticipation crept up into the back of her neck and the dread lay itself over her like a blanket.
She didn't have to tell him how relieved she was that Cosmos was finally building a team to strike the Emperor directly. He was probably relieved too after his perceived slights against her. Perhaps she should start with how upset she was that she was unable to be a part of the strike team.
"No," she thought, "not just unable. Actively forbidden against it." Cosmos forbade her from engaging the Emperor of her own free will. Not that she would or could at this time, but Rosa's previously burnt-out indifference towards the Emperor was gone, replaced by a vehement wrath that she couldn't ever remember feeling in her life. She wasn't a vengeful woman. She knew that about herself now. But she couldn't stop a deeply personal rage that sparked in her heart from the feelings of being violated on several different fronts. He had first attacked her with no provocation. Then he had invaded what was meant to be their Sanctuary, disallowing her the chance to feel safe anywhere in the world. He had rounded up assassins to destroy her, and they had almost succeeded, stripping her of all of her strength in the aftermath. And now he was targeting those around her. Assuming she was at full strength, she would love the opportunity to be the one to see the light in his eyes dim.
"This has to be bigger than me," she stated aloud, filling the world with the ends of her sentiments. "He can't hate me this much. Not after losing one battle with me."
Cecil nodded. "I think you're right. If I know anything about the Emperor, and I think I do, there is probably something else he's trying to achieve." He sighed heavily, uncurling his legs and stretching them out in front of him. He leaned back on one arm, facing her to open up the discussion. "He's been planning the downfall of both gods since he arrived, it's just his methods that change each time. Whatever his goal is, either he's afforded himself enough time to indulge himself and not affect his real plans, or he thinks tormenting you will directly contribute in some way."
"I can't possibly imagine how," Rosa said. "I know I'm important to the war, based on what Cosmos and Warrior have both told me. Something like this would have made sense right after we fought, when I was just a powerful warrior to be rid of. But now, I can't for the life of me understand why he would do this in this way. If he wanted to weaken me and weaken Cosmos, he should have just killed me when he had the chance. He should have killed Squall outright - not stolen his power and then waited for me to heal him."
"He did very much try to kill you, and have you killed," Cecil said. "I think it's important we remember that just because he didn't succeed doesn't diminish the fact that he tried. But those are very good points." Cecil shook his head, staring out over the water. "His plans are so convoluted. It'll be nice to be rid of him after this team destroys him."
"Yes, it will," she said, with all the sincerity she could muster.
She looked around their idle little group. With Cecil at her side and Kain standing over Zidane and Laguna, playing another round of Zidane's card game that she had seen him play before. Yuna and Firion chatted with them while they played. He was smiling, speaking easily, but Rosa could feel a mix of conflicting emotions clouding his aura. He was bothered, and he was trying to hide it - or at least seem as though he wasn't as bothered as he truly was. Lightning sat close but was turned away.
Rosa craned her neck over her shoulder to look back at Squall, his arm still slinged as he sat against a piece of white crystal. At least he was upright, but he hadn't moved since they ushered him over there. Probably still weak, as she was from the Emperor's Drain spell. Cosmos sat on her throne in the middle of her strike team. Warrior was notably absent from his normal position at her side, cast away to the far side of Sanctuary's barrier, watching them plan with disdain that rose from him in nearly visible waves. From his reaction before, he hadn't expected to be excluded from any planning either, and in Rosa's bitterness it brought her a bit of satisfaction.
She wondered how Cosmos could live with herself amid their predicament. How she could morally be fine with potentially sending warriors to their deaths in this war, knowing she couldn't help to heal them when they came back wounded. She looked genuinely upset over Squall before, from what Rosa could remember, though it was hazy. Warrior was yelling and she was exhausted.
"Do you think Comsos should have helped me with Squall?" she asked Cecil, turning to look at him again.
It was Kain who answered her. "Absolutely, she should have helped you," he snapped without turning to look at her. "Without question." She didn't realize he had been listening. Rosa watched as Yuna and Firion turned to look as well, to join the discussion. Even Zidane had paused in throwing a card down on the water. They all had been listening, it seemed. "A warrior needed help - two warriors," Kain continued. "One tiny spell. One that she could have cast in her sleep. It's true she's recovering, but it wouldn't have done a shred of damage to her power."
"I think she should have helped as well," Cecil said. "Though, I can justify her reasons for not helping. I've been here long enough to remember when she was strong. When we were on the cusp of victory, she had power to spare and would gift it to us on the regular. There were more of us, too, and we were a more powerful force as a result. Compared to now, I understand her reservations. But I absolutely think she should have helped you."
Rosa smiled, more than sure the majority of his judgment came from a place of fondness for her and protectiveness, let alone what was right. She nudged into him with her shoulder. "Aren't you two a little biased?"
Cecil shrugged, chuckling. "Maybe I am. But if I was in that situation, whether I was Squall or you, I would want her to help. And help anybody else, if they needed it."
Rosa watched the others for their reactions. Laguna, who had an obvious connection to the situation since Squall was the one injured, nodded in agreement. "My mind keeps going back to what you said to her, after you made sure Squall was okay: What if you hadn't been here, Rosa? What would Cosmos have done for him? Or, been able to do for him? And what if he had more serious injuries? I think she should've-"
"We should stop talking about this," Firion snapped quietly, eyes flicking to Cosmos and her group as though she could hear.
"We're too far away-" Rosa said, following his gaze.
"I know, but we still shouldn't talk about this." He said it with the velvety side of his voice, but it was laced with the tension he was no doubt feeling, like it was just on the edge of tipping into the rough side of his tone. "It sounds like . . . like treason." The frown that had constantly marred his face since Squall was brought back seemed larger now. She could feel the same types of emotions that she felt. Rage over what the Emperor had done and for the ways that he had made them all feel in Sanctuary, and an intense disappointment over not being allowed to assist. "Warrior said she couldn't help."
"Right," Rosa said quickly, curling her legs up underneath her to sit up straight. "Warrior said she couldn't. It made me upset that Cosmos couldn't speak for herself."
"You don't trust Warrior?" he asked, staring incredulously down at her.
"That is not what I said," Rosa stated firmly, shaking her head.
"No, but it's what you've implied. I trust Warrior, and you should too. You should know by now why he can speak for her as he does. They are closer than we can know. And you, Cecil," he said, staring down at him from his standing position, "know why they made the choice they did. You've been here just as long as me, and you said so yourself - you've seen the decline." He paused, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword. He half-turned away from them, watching Cosmos talk to the strike team. His hands clenched and his jaw tightened, and Rosa understood why he had been so irritable. "You'll talk yourselves in circles if you keep ignoring their motives like that."
"What are you angry about?" she asked.
"What? I'm not angry-"
"Yes, you are. Something is upsetting you. You're upset that you can't partake in the attack on the Emperor, aren't you?" she clarified, already knowing the answer. She wanted to hear him say it. Firion always spoke about his emotions like he had a fire in his belly, like he would burst with it. Before the natural course of the cycle distanced them, Rosa had always intended to befriend him closely. They shared a few connections over roses, the Emperor, and now their wrath.
"I'm- . . . I understand why-"
Zidane cut him off. "But are you upset? We all understand why Cosmos forbid you guys from it. But Rosa's question was are you upset. You're allowed to be both."
Firion inhaled sharply. His voice darkened, and he growled out through his teeth, "I'm livid."
"We have that in common," Rosa said purposefully, extending the invitation to share his frustrations with her. "I'm upset, too."
"Yes, and you have a right to be. But he's my enemy, from my world. You don't even know half of the horrible things he's done to me and to so many innocent people."
"Tell me," Rosa said. She didn't need any more examples of the Emperor's treachery or the depths to which he could sink, but it felt nice to commiserate with someone else who had also been directly affected by his atrocity.
"The Emperor's power is severely limited here. Consider that a blessing," Firion muttered. "He was powerful enough to summon demons from hell to take over most of the kingdoms across our lands. He poisoned water supplies, and those cyclones he can summon? They were big enough to uproot whole towns and kingdoms." Firion braced his fingers against his forehead and closed his eyes, like the memory was giving him a headache. "It was a massacre. More than half the map wound up either on fire or razed to the ground. The landscaping was destroyed by the scars of his war. Peoples' homes and livelihoods were demolished, and many, many people died!" Each sentence had grown louder and louder until he was almost growling it. He paused, closing his eyes. "It may be selfish, but after all he's done . . . Being told I'm not permitted to attack and depose my own enemy, who I vowed my opposition to and was called to directly oppose here . . . it's hard to swallow. And that's only what he did in my home world. That doesn't include all he's done to us here."
"What did he do, before I was called here?"
"Too many things. I guess I should pick a bad one." He thought for a moment, then decided on what to tell her. " . . . When I was a new warrior, I used to be in charge of maintaining a Gateway in the Realm of Discord. There's a strip of land that, without teleportation, is the only means of travel between the landmass that Chaos calls home and the landmass where the Mirage Sandsea spreads. It was extremely pivotal to the function of either side of the war, since it could allow Chaos's warriors to move across the entirety of the Realm of Discord. We needed it if we ever wanted to make a push into enemy territory."
Zidane stuck his finger into the air, adding, "Uuh, it should be mentioned that Firion determined the Gateway's importance by himself. He traveled into the Realm of Discord and fought his way through to it, then cleared the entire Gateway himself." Zidane turned his attention back to the game to throw another card down. "To this day I've never seen anything more daring than that. Or more strategic, in my opinion. It's how he cemented his position as second in command."
Firion kept his eyes down, cheeks flaming at the praise and attention. "It wasn't . . . I only did it because I thought it would help. I didn't do it for the recognition."
"Yeah, but it was brilliant!" Zidane said. "You know how much trouble you caused for Chaos's warriors after that? There's only one Teleport Stone on that entire landmass, and it's not anywhere convenient. If they wanted to get through they either had to clear out the Gateway again themselves, or travel out of their way to get to the Teleport Stone. And most of them were too chicken to try and clear the Gateway themselves."
"We talk about the Emperor's gift for strategy," Cecil added, "but Firion could rival his. Give him a map and a little bit of time, and Firion could make a lot happen. He has our utmost confidence and respect."
"Thank you," Firion said, hand flexing around the hilt of his sword like he couldn't quite figure out what to do with it.
"If I may ask," Rosa said, "Why aren't you first in command, above Warrior?"
"Warrior is an excellent strategist also," Firion said. "I am skilled in logistics. Mapping and territories and movements. As skilled as you believe me to be, Warrior is better. In addition to all that I can do, he knows the mechanics of this world and the strengths and weaknesses of our opposition better than anyone. He was here first, and so I deferred to him."
"Alright, alright! Back to the Gateway story!" Laguna whined. "I wanna hear it!"
"Right. The Emperor tried to conquer it back from me a few times, and each time I managed to keep him at bay. Eventually, he stopped trying. Instead, he brought a horde of manikins with him to keep me distracted, and then destroyed the Gateway entirely. He created an explosion and knocked the pillars down, almost pulverizing them in one blow. And the sigil flickered out of existence, with me still in it."
"'If I can't have it, no one can have it'," Rosa muttered.
"Exactly. I had to wait until Cid and Cosmos rebuilt the Gateway. Wounded, without any Items or supplies or rations, or anything. The Emperor couldn't bother with the inconvenience anymore. He forced the Chaos warriors to use the Teleport Stones or their own powers if they wanted to move around the world, and he placed alarms and traps around the one near Chaos's throne so they would be alerted if any one of us teleported in. We conquered another Gateway close to it, on the Forgotten Trails near Lufenia to try and keep them bottle-necked, but he destroyed it too. He would rather not let us have something to use against his side than maintain the benefits it could bring them. And if that isn't a solid example of his character, I'm not sure what is."
"He needs dealt with," Rosa said with a deep breath. She looked into Firion's eyes, full of a familiar pain she had felt herself. She pitied Firion for how much he had suffered at the Emperor's hand, and pitied herself for the pain he had caused her and caused all of them. She steeled her anger and nodded her resolve to him. "He will be dealt with."
"Yes," Firion said dully, with a slight roll of his eyes. "And I won't even be there to see it."
"Well, maybe . . . " Rosa started, but thought better of it. Cosmos hadn't listened to any of her pleas, in any situation.
"Maybe Cosmos will let me? Not a chance. If she won't even allow Warrior in on something . . . "
Laguna laughed despite the somber mood. "Yeah, when's the last time that happened? Cosmos kicking WoL off a mission? Soon as she did that, I knew she was serious. I was like, 'Oooooh, crap!'"
"'Wall?'" Rosa asked, thinking she misheard him.
"No, WoL. W-o-L: Warrior Of Light. I call him that behind his back. But not in a mean way! It's just an abbreviation." His eyes grew wide, realizing perhaps he had done something wrong. "Do not tell him I call him that please."
Rosa smiled, drawing a zipper across her mouth. "My lips are sealed."
"Anyway, like I said," Firion said, rallying it back to the point. "I understand why she did it. We're too emotionally invested now, you and I," he said, pointing between Rosa and himself. "As if my emotional involvement has changed at all since I began my time here," he said, bringing back that uncharacteristically sarcastic edge. "Cosmos needs people she can fully rely on without having to worry if they'll lose their head during the battle."
"'Losing your heads?' I think all bets should be off at this point," Zidane said. "Emotional investment or not. He's attacking us at random, now. Not that we cared any less when it was just you, Rosa, but now . . . "
Firion nodded, understanding his point. " . . . I still trust her, and I still trust Warrior," Firion said again. "If she says she can't help from here on out, then we'll just have to plan around it. If she doesn't think I belong on the strike team, then . . . "
Lightning scoffed, scooting around to face the rest of them. "Is that really the only answer you two can give?" she asked Firion. "All day, you and Warrior. 'Cosmos says, so it is.' 'Warrior says, so it is.' What kind of an attitude is that to have? Especially when their strategies are not working?" she slashed her hand through the air.
"They're working," Firion argued, but Lightning cut him off.
"No, they're not. It's her long-term planning that has her in this weak situation, and I'm expected to just go along with it just because she's a goddess? Cosmos has been losing power for a lot longer than the Emperor's been a direct problem. Killing him is the right thing to do, but it's too little, too late. She's doing damage control, and doesn't plan well enough in the long-term to sustain herself!"
Firion opened his mouth to argue, but Rosa caught Lightning first, hoping to probe her for more information. "Do you remember the height of Cosmos' power? What Cecil was talking about?" At her nod, she asked, "What happened? What changed?"
Lightning rolled her eyes. "We got lazy."
"That's not true, Light," Zidane said. "You know that." He sifted through the cards in his hand and picked one out, throwing it down. "Gotcha," he said to Laguna, whose mouth dropped open.
"Is that legal?" he asked, but Zidane already stood from the ground and abandoned the game behind him. He stretched lazily, throwing his arms up then crossing them behind his head.
"Alright so, I told you about the Chaos Civil War, right?" Rosa nodded. "That wasn't the end of it." He cleared his throat as though about to deliver a monologue in a stage play, and Rosa couldn't help the smile of delight that spread across her face. If Zidane was preparing himself to tell or act out a story, they would be entertained. Already she felt the pull of childlike anticipation stealing her attention and she felt herself pulling away from Cecil's side to face him more fully.
"The Rise and Fall of Cosmos and her Warriors, by Zidane Tribal," he announced, sinking into a humble bow, folding one hand in front of him and one hand behind his back. "This work is copyrighted by me, Zidane Tribal, and any resemblance borne to any persons is purely coincidental. We open our scene in Order's Sanctuary," he said, spreading his hands to gesture to the water around them, "in the immediate aftermath of the Chaos Civil War. The warrior Golbez has been nursed back to full health by the extremely powerful goddess, Cosmos, with hardly an effort on her part. The warrior Sephiroth is still in dire straits, and it is unclear if he will survive the assault. The last warrior, Jecht, left the fight relatively unscathed. Curtains, rise!" he announced, throwing his arms up and lifting his chin to the clouds. He paused, eyes flicking around as though realizing he didn't have an actual curtain that lifted around him. Sighing, he lowered his hands.
"Okay, but in all seriousness, the Civil War really weakened Chaos, to the point where he didn't even punish those who had come to Cosmos for help. Didn't, or maybe couldn't. We don't know. We were a little on edge because we thought that Chaos was gonna rain hell itself down on us, fire-and-brimstone style like in Imteus' Perfection of Ancients. That's one of my favorite plays, by the way," he added, breaking his story-telling for a moment. "At that time, there were only nine of us. We weren't too organized yet, but none of us left Sanctuary anyway, just in case. We wanted to be together and have all of our might ready in case Chaos's warriors showed up to finish what they started, or in case Chaos himself showed up which was entirely likely to us. But nothing ever happened. All we know now is that Chaos, the god of destruction and ruin, evil incarnate, just sat back in his throne and let everyone lick their wounds, in their own ways. Even though some had fought against their purpose and fought against him."
"What about the wounded warriors who returned to him?" Rosa asked. "Didn't he try to ensure their survival?"
Zidane shook his head slowly, pursing his lips. "Not even Garland."
"Who is like Chaos's Warrior of Light," Rosa said, remembering how Zidane described him before, during his last story.
"Right, right! Somebody really important to him. Chaos made him recover in his own time, which was wild. Instead, Chaos called four more people to fight us and keep us at bay while those that were wounded recovered: Kuja, the Cloud of Darkness, Exdeath, and . . . actually . . . That was when the Emperor showed up, ironically enough. Right?" he asked, turning to Firion for his confirmation. At his nod, he continued. "And actually, looking back, it kind of . . . worked." He scratched the back of his head, eyebrows furrowed as he recalled it. "After we realized that Chaos wasn't coming to get us, we still wouldn't leave Sanctuary because the Emperor would do stuff like plant explosive traps that would detonate at random times around Cornelia to make us think we were under attack. He used to let us spot him from up here, and even if he didn't have any traps set he would make us think that he did. He had us pinned for the equivalent of days. And then - oh, man!" he said suddenly, tail perking up and waggling to match the fervid change in his tone. "Then this one time, me, Firion, Warrior, and Tidus mustered up the courage to finally leave, and he didn't attack us. Like, at all. We saw him in Pravoca, and we know he saw us, but he just let us go. After that we thought he was bluffing! Like all the traps had been fakes. So another small group went out after us, thinking the coast was clear, and the Emperor wrecked them. Luckily, Cosmos was powerful enough to help Yuna heal people!"
Rosa looked to Cecil and Firion, and from the murderous look in Firion's eyes and the tormented look in Cecil's, it still hurt them both to think on it. Firion because the Emperor had been allowed to outsmart them, and Cecil because he had been allowed to hurt them.
"But anyway," Zidane said, "Cosmos was able to help them because she gained a lot of power from the Civil War. Ridiculous amounts of power - way more than we could ever generate for her by destroying Chaos's warriors ourselves. To the point where she used to hand out little helpings of it to make us more powerful. When a new . . . battle . . . started, and when we felt ready with Cosmos's help, Warrior took me, Cloud, Kain - freshly called," he said, pointing them out in Sanctuary as he said their names, "Tidus, Lightning and Tifa, who were new, and Squall . . . " He looked down, recounting them on his fingers to make sure he included everyone. "We all got ready, and we went out." He said the last two words with some weight, looking up and meeting her eyes with an intense gravitas that did not match the rest of the story. Rosa was pulled even further into his tale.
"What did you do?" she asked, afraid to pitch it above a stage whisper.
He dug his hands into the pouches hanging from his belt and dumped the contents into the water in front of them. Little trinkets of his time here splayed out before her - a colored sphere that looked like it belonged to Cloud or Tifa (perhaps stolen), a long, tangled length of string that could have functioned as a rope if it would have been thick enough, a card from the game he liked to play, folded in on itself and fraying at the edges, what looked to be 15 gil in coins, a whet stone for his knives, and a few other miscellaneous things that she couldn't place. He shifted through the pile, crouching down in front of them, and then began to rearrange the pieces, using the string as an outline and placing some coins, the sphere, the card, and the other trinkets in strategic places.
While he worked, Rosa asked Cecil, "Why did you stay behind?"
" . . . You should hear the story first. Then you'll understand why what we did left a bad taste in my mouth."
Rosa felt her mood sour at his tone. Her enthusiasm ebbed into dread, fearing that they had done something immoral. Her immediate thought was something akin to torture. Something out of character and egregious, something unforgivable. But she couldn't picture Warrior or Zidane, or Tifa, or anyone for that matter doing something like that. So she sat quiet in her dread, waiting for Zidane to finish his setup so he could continue his story.
When he was satisfied, he gestured to Rosa.
"Look - this is the map. Sanctuary is here." He pointed to the 5 gil piece that he used. "Then this region's Cornelia, Melmond, the Snowfields, Mount Gulg, and up there is the Realm of Discord. And all these little things are Gateways. We've got Cavern of Earth, we've got the Ice Cave, Frozen Continent, et cetera. Our posse went out," he said again, emphasizing it, "and we swept the world from left to right. We teleported here, to the furthest west reaches of Melmond, and entered Gateway after Gateway and . . . the best way I can describe it is we hunted. We destroyed the manikins in the Gateways if we couldn't find any Chaos warriors, and when we did find Chaos warriors . . . we took them out. Period. I can't say we enjoyed it, because we didn't. But they went down quickly, and the fights were as brutal as they had to be. We went through Melmond, then down through the Snowfields, then around Gulg. We circled back around and cleared Cornelia, and after that we went up into the Realm of Discord and did the same from right to left. We destroyed the Teleport Stones behind us so they couldn't outrun us. We had the entirety of Chaos's side on their asses in the equivalent of two days. It was . . . It was kind of awesome to have that much power at our disposal and at Cosmos's. That was the strongest we've ever been. That she's ever been."
She couldn't tell from his tone if he was proud of what they did or not. He said those words the same way he said everything else, just with the emphasis to help her understand that it was different, and they hadn't done anything like it since then with the exception of what they were gearing up to do to the Emperor, if she could consider it the same thing. She supposed the verbiage he just used was important - he was proud of the power they possessed, but not necessarily proud of how they went about using it. She knew it didn't sit well with Cecil because he would have seen it as harassing those weaker than he, who had little hope of defending themselves. And he may have seen an issue with the outright destruction of another in a situation outside of a one-on-one fight to the death.
"Why couldn't we clinch the victory if we were so powerful?" Rosa asked.
Zidane paused, and regardless of whether it was for dramatic effect or not, the silence lay thick in the air like a blanket. "After that, Chaos got involved. Directly involved. He went crazy, like all the anger and energy and power he wasted by sparing his own warriors was cut loose. For the first time, he stepped off his throne, and started to attack both sides. He started with his own dissenters, who fought against him so long ago because he never forgot about that, and then he came after us. Just like we did to his warriors, he combed the world, which we were wandering freely at that point, and he picked us off one-by-one as he found us." Zidane's eyes stared through the water, through the world around them as the memory glazed them over. "Brutally, just like we did to his warriors. We were crazily outmatched - even though he was weakened, Chaos still held more power than we ever could. And one-on-one like that, we never stood a chance. He got me when I went into a Gateway to look for some super-rare Megalixers to try and revive some of us. He appeared directly in front of me and before I could even try to pull my knives, he had me by the throat." His hands lifted, resting above his collarbones. "He threw me back against the wall of the Realm of Darkness, and the last thing I saw was, like, a bunch of swords made of fire coming at me."
"That's . . . " Rosa started, but couldn't find a strong enough word. "I'm so sorry."
He shrugged. "I'm fine now!" he said brightly, but there seemed to be a hollow look to Zidane's eyes. "Clearly," he added.
"I can understand attacking us. But why would he do that to his own?"
"I don't know - this is Chaos we're talking about. But either way, we didn't now what to do. We were frozen. Cosmos couldn't react in time to combat his new techniques, and with all of her warriors falling one at a time, she was losing power too."
"So what happened at the end? How did you all survive?"
"We didn't." Rosa blanched, and she felt the chill spread down her spine. She shuddered from it. "We got our asses kicked. When I say we lost everyone, I mean we lost everyone. There wasn't a single one of us who survived, on either side. The gods could've gone after each other right then and there if they thought it would've solved everything, but Chaos was placated by the vengeance. He enjoyed the hunt, I think. Unlike us." His voice grew quiet, and distant again. "It makes me shudder when I think about it. How ruthless he was." He shook his head as though to shake himself out of the reminder. "Cosmos tried to save us. She used all that extra power she had and did for us what she did for you - healed wounds and revived us, cared for us by herself when magic alone wasn't enough to do it. She was so strong then, she almost brought all of us back."
"How many did we lose?" Rosa asked. He had said 'almost'.
"Five total, after all was said and done."
"Was it anyone we knew?" she asked Cecil, before she was even sure if she truly wanted to know. She remembered her friends from her home world. Rydia, Edge, Cid, Edward, Yang, the twins Palom and Porom. For the first time it was starting to occur to her that they had lost people before, and if Cosmos called the strongest from each world, it was entirely likely that they could be among the fallen. There had to have been others before her, and though it was hard to conceptualize, almost intangible to her, like hearing about a tragedy from afar, the dread was still real.
"No," Cecil said quickly, definitively.
"Five . . . " she said again. Who were they? She wanted to ask, but it felt insensitive. Especially since she would not know any of them. How could anyone recover from something like that? Even if she survived something like that, she wasn't sure she could convince herself to willingly remain in the fight. The thought of Chaos, who she had never even seen yet, waiting in the wings to hunt her down made her tension around the Emperor feel weak and misplaced. Mild doubt crept into the back of her head, forcing her to think for just a split second if this strike team truly was the right thing to do when it could possibly incite the wrath of a vengeful being like Chaos.
"Yeah. She managed to save most of us, but it took a lot out of her," Zidane said. "We've been on the decline ever since. She's never been the same and she's never gathered as much power as she had when she started that battle. Chaos hasn't gotten involved since then, either. He said back down on his throne, and from what I hear he rarely leaves it. Ever since then, Garland took over again as his right hand, and the Emperor as his second."
The Emperor, who had planned Chaos's way out of certain destruction, single-handedly. The Emperor, who had the confidence and the skill to attack them when there were sixteen warriors and a goddess around. Who worked around his disadvantage off the cuff, and yet still managed to manipulate the battlefield with enough cunning to trap her.
She was about to send a group to him to hopefully succeed where several failed before. And what about Chaos? The emperor had to be important to him. What were they to do if Chaos became involved again.
" . . . I . . . I don't know if attacking him is a good idea anymore. Not after hearing all of this."
"Why?" Zidane asked.
"For several reasons! The Emperor has scared me. He harmed me, he harmed our friends, and if he is to be believed, he won't desist until we are destroyed. Clearly he needs dealt with - Firion's testimony and my own experiences make that clear. But I'm concerned about Cosmos's methods here. If this strike team is injured, I won't be able to help. Cosmos is sending a group out with an extremely thin safety net. That doesn't sit well with me morally, or practically. And what if Chaos becomes involved again? Someone this instrumental in several of Chaos's successes would be sorely missed. If what you say is true, we won't survive another direct attack from Chaos. Or the other warriors, for that matter. What if someone dies in my care? And I'm unable to help? I don't think we should become involved again." Her voice cracked, and the weight of her fears pressed in on her. Cecil's hand tightened on her arm and he gently stroked it.
"Then . . . don't become involved," Zidane said, staring hard at her. The words were callous, but based on the look in his eyes it had a deeper meaning.
She couldn't immediately figure it out. "But-"
"No offense, but it's kinda not up to you. Not anymore. Maybe back when he was only attacking you, but he's gone old school with it. Hunting us down one-by-one like this. He hurt others now. Now it's an 'all of us, including you' problem. So, since Cosmos sees it right to exclude you anyway, then don't be included!"
"But what if people get hurt?"
"Listen, we know the risks here. And what do you think we did without you?"
She had no answer to that.
"We know what we're walking in to at any given time. This is a war, and we all signed up for it. So if you don't want to worry about it, then don't worry about it. Just worry about the other issues at hand."
"Isn't the Emperor the issue at hand?" Rosa asked.
"No, the issues at hand are things like getting yourself back to full strength. Or, the fact that there's no coffee here. We should fix that. Or, I don't know," he said, flapping his hand in an attempt to get something to come to him. "Finding new ways to hang out with Cecil. Anything! Just leave the Emperor to the experts."
Zidane stretched again, scratching the back of his head. He scooped up his cards and the items he used for the map and dumped it all back into its pockets before lazily strolling over to where Bartz and Vaan were standing.
Rosa met Cecil's eye, lifting one eyebrow in a mock question. " . . . I can't tell. Was that some kind of hint? Apparently, Zidane thinks we should spend more time together?"
Cecil laughed. "Yes, well. He is a romantic, if nothing else."
They lapsed into comfortable silence, and Rosa lay flat, staring up into the calm, rolling clouds drifting over the entire land. Always on the brink of a slow, peaceful storm. The kind that misted over the land and washed it clean. "They make this place sound so violent."
"Isn't it?" Cecil asked, following her gaze.
"Yes, of course. It's a battleground. But it's hard to believe that when it looks like this most of the time. It belies a history that was written in blood." She was glad she hadn't been around to see much of that history. "I can't wait until I can explore this world without worrying about if I'm going to be assassinated. You know I've barely seen anything here? I've seen Sanctuary, and had a brief foray into Melmond, but that's all. Everybody talks about the Snowfields, Mount Gulg, the Mirage Sandsea. I'd like to see them sometime."
"And you will," Cecil said, in a way that didn't sound like token hopefulness. He said it in a way that was true and real, like he believed it with his entire heart.
"Will you show me?" she asked.
"Of course," he said, smiling down at her. She leaned up and kissed his cheek.
A/N: Heyyooo, back with another Petal update! Thank you so much to everyone who is reading for all your time and your patience! I really appreciate you sticking with this story despite my inconsistent updates! :)
As always, leave a review if you have the time!
~Keyblader