Their meeting disbanded, and Cassie sighed, massaging her left shoulder with a wince.
"Okay. I'm hungry. We can't build a fire in here, unfortunately, so it's cold food this time. I'll get it ready." She made strong eye contact with Takeda, cocking her head towards Jacqui. "Jin, help me out," she said, insuring they would be alone.
He shuffled over to her, and together they strolled away to the area where they had camped.
Takeda inched towards Jacqui hoping she'd allow him to initiate a conversation, but without looking up at him she shook her head and put her hand out, bandaged palm up towards him.
"Jacqui, please-"
"Do not," she said, ice in her tone. "I do not want to talk to you right now."
He didn't mentally prepare for that reply. His nerves frayed in response, his stomach flipped, and his breathing quickened. He didn't prepare for if she refused to hear his apology at all. In a second, all of the advice that Cassie gave him and all of the mental preparation he made left his mind, abandoning him to his own devices. "I . . . I just want to apologize."
"Well, I'm not ready to hear it yet."
"Please?" he squeaked, heat flaring in his cheeks.
"No!" she scolded incredulously. "What you said to me really hurt me. How you treated me and treated Jin still stings." Her voice cracked, and he felt his heart shatter in his chest. "You were nasty and condescending, and selfish, and I'm still insulted. And that's just me," she continued, pausing to swallow the lump in her throat and blink back the threat of tears. She gently crossed her arms as though to guard herself from him, shaking her head. "Think about Jin. Imagine how you made Jin feel about the whole thing. He was already distraught because of Lao, and then you said what you said about taking him with us, and the . . . the sheer nastiness that you said it with . . . "
It sounded like an opening for a response, but Takeda waited to make sure she was truly finished.
" . . . If you have the capacity to be that . . . " Jacqui struggled for the word, eventually giving up. "I don't ever, ever want anyone to put me in a situation like that ever again. I don't ever want to be around someone who makes me feel like that."
The urge to split hairs and defend himself almost rose up among his guilt and self-blame. Almost. The things he said came from a place of fear and anger and desperation. He only said them because he was afraid for their safety. He only said them to persuade her that taking Lao wasn't the best idea. Takeda bit his tongue, swallowing down the protests, and took a deep breath before he replied so he could be sure he would say what he wanted to say.
"Jacqui, I'm so sorry that I hurt you," he said. She looked away, still not willing to hear him out, but he skirted to the side and placed himself back in her field of vision. "I'm so sorry," he said again. "What I said was horrible, and inexcusable. I wasn't thinking of anyone else's feelings but my own, and I was insensitive and rude to you. You didn't deserve it. I don't ever want to be that mean to you or make you feel that way again. That's not who I am, or who I want to be for you." He forced himself to look into her eyes even though it made his heart squirm inside his chest in shame. "I'll do better to be more considerate of your emotions and your situation in the future, and give you the respect you deserve. I promise I didn't mean to make you feel that way, and for what it's worth, I'm so, so sorry."
Sometime during the apology, he stopped breathing. He realized his hands were shaking, not from the heat or the chill of his injury, but from nerves. His heart pounded in his throat. With nothing else to say and the tension choking him, he dropped into a low bow, innate traditions taking over. Years of Master Hasashi's sometimes painful lessons in honor, Shirai Ryu code of conduct, humility, respect, and acceptance of responsibility came rushing back to him in the aftermath of the apology. Though, if Master Hasashi was watching, he would have grilled Takeda for not using a gesture of deference sooner. But he was caught somewhere in the middle of what he spent years learning and what Cassie had told him she'd appreciate.
What he could see of her legs didn't move, and he hoped she was considering what he said. After a few long, painful seconds, she sighed. "Stand up," she said tiredly. He stayed below her for another few seconds as he was supposed to before he lifted his head and straightened back up. He looked into her face again and she stared, pursing her lips. After a minute, she nodded and he managed a choked sigh of relief. "Thank you for apologizing." Still short, but softer in tone.
"I . . . I don't want you to think any less of me in the future," he said. "I would understand if this changes how you think of me, but . . . You mean a lot to me, and your opinion of me matters a lot to me, too. I don't want you to think I'm an asshole. I was an asshole for a second there, and nothing can excuse that. But I don't want you to think I'm an asshole on purpose. I actually try really hard not to be an asshole. And Master Hasashi would have kicked my ass if I was an asshole."
That eked a small smile from her, just the corner of her mouth tweaking upwards. She rubbed her forehead, then ran the hand down the side of her face. "You're not an asshole, Takeda. You were kinda shitty, but I can tell you're really sorry. And that says a lot about who you are as a person. More so than one moment of out-of-character anger. I'm sorry, too-"
"No!" he said quickly. "You have nothing to apologize for. You were just trying to do the right thing and make Jin feel better."
"Yeah, well," she breathed, turning to look over her shoulder at him, one arm curled around his stomach while he and Cassie dug through their packs. "I don't think I helped at all. He's . . . not okay."
"He's next on my list," Takeda said. "I owe him an apology too, so . . . Maybe it'll ease a little bit of his pain."
She took a deep breath, and he quickly read the energy around her body, watching her expel a lot of the negativity and anger she was holding on to. There were residual pulses of it in her aura, like she was still hurt, but most of it dispersed around her with the gesture.
"Do you forgive me?" he asked her.
" . . . Yeah. I forgive you." She paused, then added, "After an apology like that, I have to. That was one for the books." He thought she was mocking him for a second, and he looked up startled before he met the sheepishly playful glint in her eye. "Of course I forgive you," she said again, rolling her eyes. "You know I'm weak for that kicked-puppy look you have when you fuck up."
"You are not!" he snapped back, eagerly taking hold of the obvious olive branch she was offering. If she was teasing him, then they would be fine. "If you were weak for it, you'd let me win way more of our sparring matches. Can I have a kiss? Just to put it to rest, once and for all." He opened his arms and pouted his lip, donning the best 'kicked-puppy look' he could purposefully do.
"See?" she said, pointing at it. She circled her finger around. "You've got it down pat!" She closed the distance to him and let him wrap his arms around her, pulling her in tight. She lifted herself onto her toes to give him a peck on the lips. He rested his cheek against her hair, gently twisting back and forth.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "I love you."
"Love you, too," she said back, muffled into his chest. "This is just crazy. This whole mission is fucked up. I've never felt this lack of control before, or this kind of dread."
"Me either. I hate this place," he agreed. "I feel like it's making us all crazy. Like we're falling apart with each new place we find. I just, like, wish that this never happened. That General Blade never sent anyone here in the first place. Then we all could be home and safe and I wouldn't have to worry if I was gonna lose you or the team or anybody else I care about. I just . . . want this to be over."
"Same, babe. Big, big same. Umbrella drinks?" she asked, continuing the ongoing joke they maintained since the tranquil, solitary moment they shared atop the Sky Temple.
"Fuck yeah. The minute we're outta here," he said. "Maui?"
She clicked her tongue and made a disgusted face, craning her neck up to look into his face. "Tahiti!"
"Tahiti it is. We good?"
"We good. Though, I think Jin deserves an apology like that, too."
"Yeah, I know. When we get over there I'm gonna say sorry to him, too. I just gotta think of what to say to make sure it relays just how shitty I feel about it."
She didn't add anything to try and help him, but he didn't mind. This was his problem that he needed to deal with himself. They detangled, and she walked with him over to their camp sight. Jin and Cassie had set two places around their circle for them, two small, plastic packages marking their seats. She and Jin had already opened theirs, and she was enthusiastically shoving forkfuls of food into her mouth while Jin slowly, methodically did the same. While Takeda sat down, tucking his legs under him, Cassie winked and slyly offered him the hand sign for 'ok'.
"I decided to splurge," she said as soon as they both were situated. "We only have about three days' worth of official MREs, and the rest is just certified canned stuff. I was gonna save all of them for when we found everyone, but I think we deserve a treat. So, today, we get spaghetti and tomato sauce! With . . . " she said, scooping up the ripped outer packaging of what had been her ration and reading off the side. " . . . Fruit Punch Flavored Drink Mix, trademarked, Wheat Crackers, also trademarked, bread with a butter spread, a chocolate bar, and some other stuff. It's all individually wrapped in there," she said, gesturing to all the mini-packages stuffed in the middle of her crossed legs. "Here, Takeda," she said, sifting through them. She pulled out a green colored one, different from all the other plain beige packages. "When you open yours up, shake this one up, lay it under the main course, and it'll heat the food."
"Oh, no way," Jacqui said, sighing heavily as she snatched up her MRE. "Thank you! Is it embarrassing to say I've been dying for one of these?"
"Normally yes. But now? Absolutely not," Cassie said. "I've been unashamedly craving one of these for this entire fucking mission. It's delish by comparison, and our comparisons are trash."
He and Jacqui tore into their own meals, and Takeda watched Jin closely. He looked distant and empty, and the guilt pressed in on him again, weighing down on his awareness, raising the hairs on his neck. He would have rather apologized to Jin one-on-one like he was able to with Jacqui, but he supposed he had to suck it up. What was an extra bit of embarrassment anyway? He organized all the things he wanted to say, checking off all three of Cassie's apology boxes as he dumped the sauce packet on his spaghetti noodles and waited for the heater to warm up his meal. He was nervous all over again, but it was a different kind of nervous. Nervous that he would say the wrong thing, rather than being nervous about Jacqui's potential outright rejection and the future of their romantic relationship.
"Jin?"
"Hm?"
"I owe you an apology."
"What makes you say that?" Jin retorted. The words were clearly sarcastic, but with the gravel in his tone it lacked the usual bite. He sounded defeated and pathetic. Takeda's eyes slid to Jacqui, and she signaled for him to continue.
Takeda sighed before he could get frustrated. "I'm really sorry about what I said to you." Jin continued to eat mechanically, giving no clue that he even heard Takeda, let alone processed what he said. "It was nasty to say, and it was disrespectful to Lao's memory. I'm ashamed to have said it to you, and I feel terrible about it. I'm sorry for putting you in such an insensitive and uncomfortable position. It won't happen again. You deserve better and so does Lao, and I'm gonna commit to being a better friend."
Jin uncurled from over his spaghetti and finally looked into Takeda's eyes, and Takeda placed as much sincerity as he could there, hoping Jin would see that he meant what he said.
After a second, he nodded to him.
"Thanks. S'okay."
Takeda blinked, unsure of what to say in response. He expected some kind of reaction. Something angry, maybe a little bit of shouting, maybe another well-deserved punch to the chin that would leave him flat on his back. He wasn't expecting something so apathetic, and he definitely wasn't expecting to be forgiven so readily. "Well that was . . . cavalier. Do you mean that? I know how hurt you were, Jin. You don't have to accept my apology if you don't want to."
"No, it's fine. I do."
Takeda wasn't convinced in the slightest, more than sure Jin was only saying it because he wasn't thinking clearly. He scanned for Jin's emotions and the black, oppressive weight of grief pressed down on Takeda's chest and numbed everything else around him. But at its core was a small speck of resignation - though still apathetic and withdrawn at its best, next to the monster that was Jin's despair over Lao it was the only positive thing he could have had to hold on to.
"Okay," Takeda said. "Only if you're sure."
"I am, I mean it. I'm just . . . still sad about Lao. I've made . . . peace, I guess, with the fact that we can't take him with us, but it still hurts. I don't-" he started, then quickly cut himself off. He thought about it, took another deep breath, and decided to say it. "I don't even think I was ever really mad at you, to be honest. I knew deep down it was too dangerous to take him. It's why we left Sub-Zero up in the graveyard, you know? I was mad about the situation. Mad it had to be Lao. He was a great man. Meant a lot to me."
"We're here for you, man," Cassie said, leaning over and awkwardly patting his knee. "Whatever you need, we got you. Right?" she asked them.
"Of course," Jacqui said immediately.
"Thanks. I appreciate it," Jin said.
They ate the rest of their meal in comfortable silence, partly because there was nothing left to say and partly because they were all too hungry to talk. They cleaned up together, and when they were finished, Cassie hauled herself to her feet with a grunt.
"Alright," she said loudly, brushing crumbs and food off the front of her suit. "Everyone start preparing weapons. You too, Buckaroo!" she yelled louder, pointing to Erron Black. His eyes narrowed and Takeda swore he heard an echo involving the word 'murder', but he drew his pistols from their holsters at his hips and checked the cylinders. "Jin, after you're done keep working on the map. Takeda and Jacqui, with me for a sec."
She led them away from him and said in a low whisper, "Jin reminded me of something earlier. We left Sub-Zero up in the graveyard, frozen, because we intended to go back for him. I kind of forgot that we did that in the immediate aftermath of our fight with the creature. I think, if possible, we owe Lao the same courtesy - it's what's fair, and it's the right thing to do. And it's in the K.I.A. protocol. If we can retrieve him, we should. So, depending on how long this next tunnel system is, we may very well be able to take Lao with us on our way out. I don't want to tell Jin, because I don't want to get his hopes up in case we never see this room again. But is everyone one board with that? Taking him with us on our way back, when we have Kotal Kahn and Erron Black with us as added protection, and since we'll know the way out?"
"Yes, absolutely!" Jacqui said. "If it's possible, we one hundred percent should take him with us."
"I'm on board," Takeda said, "but what will we do with him once we get topside? Take him to Sub-Zero and leave them both there?"
"Or, we could bring Sub-Zero to us," Jacqui said. "Set a rendezvous point, and make that our last stop on our way out of here."
"That's what I was thinking," Cassie said. "I want that point to be the little area we were in when Fujin brought us here. With the three stones and the gate. Know where I'm talking about? It's almost a straight shot to there once we leave the Mausoleum. I'd bet any money that spot is different from the rest of this place since Fujin was able to leave from there. Raiden probably can, too."
"Do we tell Jin about the rendezvous point?"
"Yeah, but only after we clear these caves. Regardless of whether or not we are able to take Lao with us, I still want to take Sub-Zero there so that we're ready to book it out of here. Cool," she said, nodding to herself. "It's a plan, then. Keep getting ready. As soon as Kotal Kahn gives me the go ahead, we'll head out."
She walked away, and Takeda turned to Jacqui. "So we're taking Lao with us anyway. Great. I flipped out and was a piece of shit for no reason. Awesome."
"Don't beat yourself up over it anymore. Jin's the person who should be the most pissed at you, and he isn't anymore. You thought, based on the info we had at the time, that it was the . . . best thing to do. Who knows. After more information, the best thing to do may change again."
They waited for another twenty minutes, and during that time Takeda used the screws and screwdrivers in his pack to replace the wheel that had snapped off the back of his suit when the monster tore free of his whips. Despite the sensation that they were preparing for something monumental, the energy in the room felt relatively calm. His own emotions felt lighter, and with it came a positivity that disrupted what would have been growing nerves. Kotal Kahn brought to their mission an air of confidence, ancient wisdom, power - magical and physical, and control, and Erron Black had the presence of an untouchable outlaw. Even that was another layer of security that he appreciated.
When Kotal Kahn was ready, he fastened his teethed sword to his back. "We are ready."
Cassie threw him a lazy thumbs up. "Good. Any insight you can offer us as an Osh-Tekk about these last few caves? Length, off-ways, dead ends, creatures?"
"Unfortunately not. Erron Black and I searched through all boxes and materials that were left in this room for a map, to no avail. We are just as lost here as you."
"Well, wishful thinking," Cassie shrugged with her uninjured shoulder. I'll take point. Anybody else?"
"I will join you at the front," Kotal Kahn said. "Erron, keep to the back of their formation." He didn't reply, but he tipped his hat.
"Jin, stay somewhere in the middle," Cassie said. "You need to exert yourself as little as possible right now. Takeda, keep an eye on him. Jacqui, stay in the back with Erron."
"Lucky me," he purred, shifting to the side and offering his arm to her. "Certainly the belle of this ball." Jacqui rolled her eyes, smacking his arm away.
"Ugh. Just get in line."
"Are we ready?" Cassie asked.
A chorus of various affirmations echoed behind her.
"Open the door."
A/N:
Holy crap! Another Krypt Chapter!
I love these soft moments! A place like the Krypt doesn't always allow characters to have these kinds of discussions, so I love when I get to put them in! Let me know what you think!
As always, leave a comment if you have the time. Thank you so much to everyone who has stayed with this fic for this long.
~Keyblader
