The testificate put on a front. Sitting in a small oak room, he knew he was partly to blame. A Plato slipped in, spun a chair backwards and sat. Leaned on the table between them.

"Yo, Bacon…. It's Bacon, right?"

"Yeah," the testificate, Bacon answered.

"I'm Deputy Shark. The Sheriff couldn't be here to interview you on account of being murdered."

What a way to celebrate ten years of Los Sanatos. First thing that morning, Howitzer had left in a dinghy. Since humans had sprung up on the coast Bacon's life had only grown more complicated, peaking yesterday afternoon.

"It wasn't just Bloxd who got wasted, you understand?" Shark said and Bacon tilted his head. "Those cargo ships were carrying, like, hundreds of farm animals."

Bacon stared.

Shark drummed the table, "You work for the governor, right?" A nod. "And one hour before yesterday's shit storm, you were doing a stocktake for Enidios Landscapers. Particularly, their TNT supply." He watched Bacon lock up. "The guards all left while you counted, didn't they?"

"It's procedure tbf," Bacon cleared his throat. "So I can't be pressed to fudge numbers."

"But that, unfortunately, made it real easy for a couple of brigands to jump you, leave you hogtied and gagged in a minecart. They then made off with the TNT."

Of all the links in yesterday's chain of events, Bacon was the primary screwup.

"Did you peep either of those guys?"

"It happened so fast. The one that got me was blonde with stubble."

The deputy flicked his folder open, spreading out a bunch of drawings, "One of these dudes?"

"Yes! That's him." His finger pressed down.

"Aces." He slid the photos back. "Now listen, I don't want you to worry anyone about this. We've got it from here, comprende?"

"Alright?"

Shark stood, adding as an afterthought, "Deuces, you're free to go."

So Bacon left.

When humans founded Los Sanatos it was the faraway villages that were slaughtered overnight. In being closeby, Bacon's village was spared for the convenience of closeby trades. Occasionally, a captain would offer emeralds for villagers to help carry cargo. That's how Bacon first started working for humans. He asked himself, what happens when enough people come to Los Sanatos that they have their own guys willing to work the farms, looms, anvils and such? With diligence and good wit, Bacon ensured he was recognised until he secured his current job under the governor. He'd left his people, but as a resident of Los Sanatos, he'd guaranteed himself some manner of protection.

Bacon was walking the main street. Discrimination was rather minimal, all things considered. He glimpsed the Hydra, hadn't braved walking in yet. Soporifics had ruined a few of his fellow villagers, turning good men into irrecoverable wretches. Passing out in pens, worse than the nitwits, breathing in the sweet perfume of pig shit.

While passing, Bacon did a double-take through the Hydra's paneless window. Deputy Shark was having a drink with the very bastard who attacked him.

Bacon pushed apart the saloon doors.

"You! You're the guy!"

"Woah." Shark raised a hand. Jondy leaned back.

"He attacked me!" Bacon kept pointing. "And you're his pal?"

"Man's getting outta pocket." Jondy cautioned, "Sit down. I'll buy you a drink."

"Hell no!"

"Listen, Bacon, my boy here could've killed you-"

"Not your boy," Jondy interrupted and swigged his beer.

"Whatever. My associate." He stared and Jondy gave a nod, then Shark looked back. "You're alive, so let's just be grateful about that, huh?"

Bacon stared and Jondy held his shoulders in a shrug. What more could Bacon do?

Jondy offered again, "Drink?"

"Screw both of you!" Bacon left, the doors rattling behind him.

A moment passed, Jondy was smirking into another sip.

"Think you're pretty hard, right? Not even trying to hide your face."

There weren't many women in Los Sanatos, but Jondy didn't recognise the blonde in the flowy white dress. She looked out of place in the Hydra.

"You right, hunny?"

"You killed Sheriff Bloxd."

"Well I sure didn't shoot the deputy."

"I can see that." She eyed Shark who tipped his hat.

"For real though," Jondy sat straight and looked right at her. "Who says I'm responsible for yesterday? Bacon?" He shrugged again. "Guy's a simp. He was jumped and all that TNT was lost on his watch. Right now he wants to win back favor with the governor by pointing a finger quickly." Jondy leaned back, self-satisfied. "Hell, I would too."

"I saw you kill Sheriff Bloxd."

The chatter quietened a bit. Some patrons peered over, including Wolfie behind the bar, drying glasses with a dishrag. Jondy and the deputy shared a look.

Jondy asked, "Who are you, Miss?"

Women were few and far between in rough-and-tumble Los Sanatos. A handful of important men had brought their wives with them, though none had brought or tried having kids. Still, some lone women had come despite the dangers to make a new life for themselves in an up-and-coming town. One such lady was Perconia, young and happily widowed.

Her much older husband had died a year back by questionable means - less malicious as maliciously hopeful. Most wives badgered their husbands about that fourth egg at breakfast. Perconia wasn't the type to push gently. She'd said to herself, he's a grown man. The loud parties were her doing, sure, but what was the point of a rich husband and a gorgeous statehouse if you weren't hosting parties?

For three years they lived like that, then Perconia's husband croaked.

She said to herself, he'd made his own decisions. Then used the money to hop on a boat and as capital for her sewing shop. Mostly she mended clothes. The men didn't know how to work a needle well, and there weren't enough women for them to rely on lady-friends.

What Perconia really wanted was to make dresses. She'd readied a cart to go doorknocking to the noble ladies, her target cash cow customers. Howitzer was giving his speech at the time so she'd stopped for the spox and his ballyhoo. The booms came, then havoc, and Sheriff Bloxd kicked through her cart, throwing all her hard work to the wind.

She'd pursued him, then saw Jondy with the crossbow. She saw Jondy leave after, saw people notice Bloxd and rush to help. Then she saw what Jondy hadn't seen…

"Sheriff Bloxd didn't die immediately," Perconia said in the Hydra. "They carried him inside the governor's house first."

Jondy clenched his bottle and concentrated on it for several seconds.

Perconia looked aside and blew out a breath. "I will give you props for getting rid of Howitzer. That was straight fire, Jondy."

"There'll be more like him, you know?" He didn't look up. "Ballsy rich types who see this town for what it is. Jonesing to come over, get in their grubstake, help sway the laws here to build up operations."

"I'm not an imbecile, Jondy. I understand business." She was the only seamstress in town and wanted to keep her monopoly. The pay was good even if she worked hard for it. "I just want to know why in blazes you'd kill the Sheriff and force the governor's hand? Got a brain, huh? You ever use it? If you stall the growth of Los Sanatos completely, the kingdom will send guys to clean shop. You can't keep this a place for outlaws forever."

Jondy leaned back and surprised them with a smirk. "So what if they know. Finna do what I can to stall Los Sanatos, just enough."

Twenty-four hours ago, a wigged up man was enjoying a Fabiola Spritz, sipping on his chaise longue, keeping cool by an encased fan. Double-doors on the second level were flung wide to show off the sparkling seaside, transparent curtains blowing in warm breezes. On his lacquered desk sat Howitzer's drafted law, by a quill and handheld spectacles, waiting for a stamp of recommendation to then be sent across the ocean. Governor Starganade avoided the common folk, especially when they were in crowds, so he'd been inside when the booms resounded across the harbor.

"ZOMG!"

He leapt to his balcony and saw dust clouds off the cliffaces, raining gold chunks onto the coast. On the water, the ships were going down. Tremulous, he clung to the curlicue banister, jerking like he couldn't decide whether to run or freeze. Below him was grappling chaos.

A housemaid ran upstairs, yelling that the Sheriff was badly hurt. The governor ran down and ordered they carry Bloxd to his sofa. A bolt jutted from his torso.

"Starganade…" The governor came and took his hand. "Jondy…"

"What? Who?"

"That Jondy... who toppled the government in Sampan… won fortunes and lost them again… who hasn't aged in sixty years... He's here."

"In Los Sanatos?"

At that moment, Bloxd stilled.

"Governer, we dead-ass have beef now." His servants looked to him for orders while he thought it out.

"Get the Platos to stop everybody buggin and find out who did this. Have the help burry Sheriff Bloxd out back. I… must pen a letter."