Disclaimer I: All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
Disclaimer II: This story is going to deal with pregnancy and fertility challenges. If those are triggering subjects for you, please proceed with caution. This will be the only content warning.
You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine."
~ Taylor Swift, Mine
PROLOGUE
BPOV
Lady plopped herself into my lap the moment I finally stopped pacing and sank down to the floor of the bathroom. My back was against the securely locked door as Gus took his spot sitting stoically beside me. I rubbed Lady's ears, brushing back the mop of tan fur on top of her head that was in desperate need of a trim. Gus nudged my free hand until I rubbed his favorite spot underneath his chin.
"I take good care of you guys, right?" I asked the pups, convincing myself that both sets of eyes gave me an enthusiastic yes. "I've kept you alive for a long time, at least. That's got to count for something."
It wasn't the same. At all. Most people would probably call me an idiot for assuming that because I was able to keep a couple of dogs happy and alive that I thought it was some sign I wouldn't be an incompetent mother.
I had no idea how it worked, though. The parent thing. I had no concept of how stern to be or what to let slide or how to change a diaper. As pathetic as it was, the most comforting thing I had going for me was that I had given these two dogs a good home for a few years.
Looking down at the smartwatch on my wrist, the one Lucy had given me that first day in the hospital, there was still a minute and a half left on the timer.
"Longest two minutes of my life," I grumbled against Gus's snout as I kissed him. He was Masen's dog, but he didn't have time to take care of him while he was in school and I was more than happy to look after him for a few years. He and Lady were the best of friends, despite the fact that Gus had a good thirty pounds on her. They looked like walking cartoons as they pranced down the street together.
I took a couple deep breaths, watching the timer slowly tick on. I hadn't missed a pill, I was certain. I had been taking it since I was sixteen and it was practically ingrained in my routine to take it every night. And every twenty-three days, like clockwork, I got my period. Except somehow, two weeks ago, it never came. And because I was stressed and out of town for a few days with Ashley I didn't realize it until this morning.
The timer on my watch beeped, Lady and Gus eying me as if they knew what it meant. For as impatient as I had been for the timer to go off, now I was frozen on the floor. Because either way that tiny little stick was going to change everything.
I gave both of the pups another pet before standing up and forcing my legs to take the three steps to the counter. I had gotten four different tests at the store. Mostly because I had no clue what qualified as a good pregnancy test.
This wasn't planned. Edward and I hadn't talked about having a child in a long time, since Alice had Junebug a few years ago. It was always there in the back of my mind as a possibility; a possibility that scared the shit out of me if I thought about it too much.
Seeing every test come back negative was a punch in the gut I hadn't been expecting.
A/N: … Surprise? I know I said this was going to be a happy, fluffy little part four. And it will be, for the most part. I like my angst though, okay? Chapter 1 will hopefully be out next Friday, but I wrote this and wanted you guys to have it immediately. See you again soon!