Everyone ate a light lunch, not feeling overly hungry, except the Weasley boys. George distracted the adults while Fred whisked Harry away to perform the charm required. Harry was engulfed by a sickly yellowish glow for several moments and then a piece of parchment came flying out of Fred's wand which he caught neatly. His expression grew angrier and angrier as he read.
"That's what we needed to know. George and I will brew you a personalised potion tonight," Fred told him through gritted teeth.
"Thanks, Fred." The older boy pulled him into a hug and ruffled his hair.
"I'm sorry we didn't think to do this earlier. It should have been obvious as soon as we rescued you that year."
"It's not your fault. You, Ron and George already did more than anyone else bothered to do," Harry pointed out. Fred sneered but simply hugged him tighter and then drew away.
When Harry and Fred re-joined the others, the group settled back down in the reading room. Dumbledore picked up the second book.
"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," he read. Ginny stiffened immediately. Molly grabbed her daughter and settled her between herself and Arthur.
"The chamber?" Charlie whistled.
"I thought that was a myth," Tonks said.
"You mean like the Cursed Vaults?" Bill pointed out. She conceded the point.
"You found the chamber? Even we never found that. Good going, pup," Sirius praised. Harry winced. He'd quite happily have never found the place; except he was the only person who could stop the basilisk and stop Voldemort coming back by killing Ginny.
Once the low murmurs stopped, Dumbledore began reading.
The Worst Birthday
"Worse than the year you spent your birthday in a rundown hut in the middle of the sea?" Neville asked, eyes wide.
"Definitely," Harry said with a scowl. "At least on my eleventh birthday I learnt about magic and that I would be able to escape the Dursleys for nine months of the year. That was an awesome birthday."
The book starts with Vernon having been woken by Hedwig in the early hours of the morning. At breakfast he yells that this is the third time that week.
"That's not like Hedwig," Neville said with a frown. "She's very quiet."
"Most owls are," Charlie agreed, eyes narrowed.
"Unless they are locked up," Harry grumbled.
"That's horrible," Luna gasped, looking saddened for Hedwig.
"They locked Hedwig up? But what about hunting?" Remus asked.
"Nope. They were too worried I'd write to my friends."
Vernon continued that if he couldn't control the owl it'll have to go.
"Hedwig isn't an it," Luna exclaimed indignantly. Harry offered the young girl a smile.
Harry tried to explain but Vernon asked if he looked stupid, while a piece of fried egg dangled from his moustache.
"Incredibly so," Fred stated.
"I can't believe he felt the need to ask," George said with a smirk.
"Ironic, considering the question," Charlie chuckled.
He stated he knows what will happen if Hedwig is let out, exchanging a dark look with his wife.
"She'll hunt and carry letters?" Percy said with a raised eyebrow.
"Harry would talk to his magical friends. They don't like magic," Bill pointed out.
"Plus, that would make him happy," Sirius added with a growl.
Harry tried to argue back but Dudley belched loudly, cutting him off, and then demanded more bacon.
Everyone wrinkled their noses in disgust.
Petunia told him there was some in the frying pan, adding that they needed to build him up.
Several people snorted in amusement.
"Build him up?" Filius raised an eyebrow.
"That's the last thing that boy needs," Minerva stated.
"Sweetums?" George snickered.
"Not as good as some of the other nicknames." Tonks shook her head.
She claimed not to like the sound of the school food.
"Because they limit it," Harry muttered.
Vernon pointed out he didn't go hungry at Smeltings and his son gets enough.
"So, his argument isn't that his son doesn't need building up any further, just that, in his experience, he got enough food?" Pomona shook her head.
"We know that family are wilfully blind," Filius reminded her.
Dudley was so large his bottom drooped over either side of his chair.
"That is terribly unhealthy," Pomona murmured, almost feeling bad for the boy. It wasn't his fault his parents were terrible people. And his awful behaviour had been encouraged his whole life, he clearly thought it was a perfectly acceptable way to behave. The problem was, she had hoped a year away at school would teach him that wasn't the case. Although, this was a school that had a stick on its equipment list seemingly solely for hitting fellow students. Dudley needed to be taken away from the Dursleys almost as much as Harry.
He demanded the frying pan and Harry told him he'd forgotten the magic word. Naturally, all of the Dursleys massively overreacted.
"That's their reaction to the word 'magic'?" Andromeda asked.
"Tuney always was overdramatic," Severus muttered to himself.
"Dudley fell off his chair. Was there an earthquake?" Tonks wondered. Several people laughed.
"It's like saying the word 'no' to Draco," Harry said with a smirk.
"I am nothing like that!" Draco denied petulantly.
"Overdramatic, spoilt brat? Pretty sure that sounds like you," Tonks told her cousin with a wide grin. Draco pouted.
"I am nothing like that beastly muggle." Dumbledore decided to start reading over the growing argument.
Harry quickly pointed out he meant 'please' but Vernon yelled at him for saying the 'm' word and threatening Dudley.
"He was teaching the boy some much needed manners. That's hardly a threat," Narcissa sniffed haughtily.
"Oh no, don't you dare turn my brat into a well-mannered child!" Fred gasped theatrically.
"What would you know about being well-mannered?" Percy scoffed, but there was a teasing element to his voice that neither twin had ever heard before.
"Well, we know the theory," George grinned. "Tried it once. Worst minute of our lives." Several people chuckled while Molly opened her mouth to scold them only to be cut off by Dumbledore.
He continued that he would not tolerate mention of Harry's abnormality under their roof.
"Oh, should we talk about your abnormalities instead?" Sirius snarled.
"Don't waste your breath," Remus muttered. Despite the fact that they were sitting in the exact same seat as yesterday, with Sirius close enough that their thighs touched when they shifted slightly, it felt as if there was an ocean between them. He had suspected that Sirius had forgiven him too easily in the shack, but he hadn't wanted to question his good fortune. He should have given Sirius the proper apology he deserved, rather than just praying it stayed swept under the carpet. The thought of going to Azkaban to visit Sirius and get answers had never crossed his mind. He was, at heart, a coward. Remus was well aware of that; he always had been. Honestly, he had no idea how he'd been sorted into Gryffindor. He had accepted Dumbledore's word that Sirius was guilty and disregarded everything he had ever known about the man he loved. Hell, he would never forgive himself.
His aunt tries to haul Dudley to his feet.
"Good luck with that," Charlie snorted.
Since Harry had come back for summer, his uncle had treated him like he was a bomb that might go off and Harry was as far from normal as it is possible to be.
"All the best people are," Fred grinned.
"Boring is normal," George agreed.
"In that house, you are the normal one though," Sirius muttered angrily.
However upset the Dursleys were, Harry was even more so. He missed everything about Hogwarts including his classes except for potions.
Severus rolled his eyes. Harry considered. That morning, he had actually found potions to be alright. Once he understood how some of the ingredients were supposed to react, he found it to be quite like cooking which, despite mainly doing it for the Dursleys, he enjoyed.
He also missed all of his friends and playing Quidditch.
"Why is it telling us what Quidditch is?" Charlie wondered. Everyone shrugged.
"Why did it bother telling us Harry is a wizard?" Bill asked.
All of his things had been locked in his old cupboard at the start of summer. Vernon wouldn't care if Harry lost his place on the team because he couldn't practice.
"You live in a muggle neighbourhood. You wouldn't be able to practice anyway," Emmeline pointed out.
The book pointed out they also wouldn't care if he went back without his homework done.
"That's what the train ride is for," George grinned.
"No, it is not!" Molly scolded.
The Dursleys considered having a wizard in the family a matter of deepest shame.
"Having you in the family is a matter of deepest shame!" Sirius spat.
"You're not related to them," Tonks pointed out.
"Harry is family. That gives a loose relation to those things," Sirius replied. Harry felt warmth rise up in his chest.
Hedwig had been padlocked in her cage to stop her taking messages to anyone in the wizarding world.
"In case Harry tells someone how he is being treated," Ted guessed with a dark look at the book.
"If Harry was going to do that, wouldn't he have done that while he was at the school?" Neville frowned.
"Well, when Hagrid came to collect Harry, he obviously saw something wasn't right. So, maybe they figured Harry wouldn't say anything unless it got worse that next summer," Tonks suggested grimly.
"But wouldn't not writing to his friends be more suspicious?" Percy frowned. He recalled how worried Ron, and therefore his parents, had been when they hadn't heard from Harry by his birthday.
"They aren't exactly intelligent," George reminded his brother.
Harry looked nothing like the rest of the family.
"Thank goodness for that," Fred muttered.
The four of them are described.
"We already know what they look like," Emmeline pointed out.
"Yeah. It's almost like it's designed in case we hadn't read the first one," Kingsley agreed.
"Who would read the second without reading the first one?" Hermione asked, looking horrified. Everyone shrugged.
Harry's past is also discussed.
"Well, this is also a pointless recap," Sirius groaned, not wanting to hear about his godson being attacked and his friend's death constantly.
"Your complaining is also pointless and only draws out the recap," Severus sneered.
The book mentioned Harry being left at the Dursley's and his first year at Hogwarts before saying he was now back to being treated like a dog that rolled in something smelly.
"I would never treat Sirius like that," Remus said with a chuckle. He was disappointed when Sirius only gave a faint pout in response.
The Dursleys had forgotten today was his birthday. They'd never given him a real present or cake, but it was new to ignore it completely.
"Still better than the next birthday," Harry muttered. Even the fiasco of his twelfth birthday seemed pale compared to having Marge visit.
"Considering this chapter is titled the worst birthday, that's quite worrying," Charlie murmured.
"I guess it only meant the worst birthday so far," Tonks sighed.
Vernon declared that today was an important day. Harry hardly dared to believe it.
Nobody in the room believed it either.
He declared that it could be the biggest deal of his career.
Everyone sighed. Nobody was surprised, but they still hated it.
Harry realised his uncle was talking about a dinner party for one of his work clients. Vernon suggested they go through the schedule one more time. Petunia and Dudley give their intros.
"No thank you. I don't want a layer of grease on my jacket," Fred said in a faux haughty tone. Several people snorted.
Petunia declared they'll love him.
"Not if they have any taste," George scoffed.
"I don't have particularly high hopes," Tonks said.
Harry stated that he would be in his room pretending not to exist.
"That's so sad." Luna looked like she might cry.
"On your birthday?" Sirius asked in outrage.
"That's so cruel," Neville mumbled.
"They probably planned this party on that date deliberately," Remus scowled.
Vernon continued to work through the schedule.
"They really plan everything down to the last minute?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"You mean, you don't?" Harry asked with a grin.
"Of course not," he replied imperiously. "We have hosted enough parties that we do not need to practice every minute detail."
Petunia is to announce dinner while Dudley offers to take them through to the dining room.
The twins pretended to throw up.
Petunia called him a perfect little gentleman.
"He is exactly none of those things," Percy commented in mild disgust.
"How is it Harry is the only one in that family that wears glasses given how blind they all are?" Charlie wondered.
"Because theirs is a wilful blindness," Bill told him grimly. "They don't want to see that their son is a fat, ill-mannered pig."
"Just like his father," Tonks added.
Harry repeated his previous instructions.
Several people scowled at the nastiness of making him say that multiple times.
Vernon asked for suggestions for compliments at dinner.
"They have to plan their compliments?" Emmeline blinked in surprise.
"Yeah, they are incapable of saying anything nice without prior planning," Kingsley commented.
"That sounds about right," Pomona agreed.
Petunia offered some suggestions and then Dudley made up a story about having to write an essay about his hero and he chose Mr. Mason.
The majority of the room burst out laughing at such a ridiculous statement.
"Surely nobody would fall for something like that?" George scoffed.
"That's such a blatant lie," Fred added.
"Well, if they are as intelligent as the Dursleys, then they might well believe it," Ted pointed out.
"Sharp as marbles that lot," Remus agreed scornfully.
Petunia burst into tears and hugged Dudley while Harry ducked under the table to hide his laughter.
"Impressive control not to just laugh in their faces," Sirius told him proudly.
"It wouldn't be worth the punishment," Harry sighed. The mood dropped significantly at that.
Harry repeated his instructions for the third time. Vernon then wrapped up the evening plan. Harry figured they wouldn't like him any better in Majorca than they did at Privet Drive.
"Would they even take you?" Ron wondered.
"Probably not," Harry shrugged. "They always left me at Mrs Figg's before, but they don't normally go abroad. Usually, they go to visit Marge and I'd much rather stay with Mrs Figg." Ron sniggered at the mention of Marge.
Vernon declared he was going to get dinner jackets and instructed Harry to stay out of Petunia's way while cleaning.
"They didn't make you do it?" Draco asked in mild surprise. Harry sighed.
"I think that might well have been their version of a birthday present. No chores. Until I messed it up." He said the last sentence under his breath but with their enhanced hearing, Remus and Sirius caught it.
"You did nothing to mess it up," Sirius told him firmly but quietly enough that only the two of them, and Remus, could hear.
"I did. I was stupid and let myself have some fun with Dudley. I should have known better," Harry murmured quietly. Sirius sighed.
Harry went outside and sung 'Happy Birthday' to himself.
Everyone felt incredibly sad that the poor boy felt the need to sing to himself on his birthday.
"No, no, no. You're doing it all wrong," Fred spoke up, injected some brightness into his voice.
"Yeah. Let us show you how it's done," George agreed. The two began an incredibly lively, and well off the regular tune, of 'Happy Birthday'. Nobody had the heart to stop them as they saw Harry grinning from ear to ear.
"Thanks guys, but if you truly want to give me a present…never sing again." Harry shot them both a smirk.
"Rude!" Fred exclaimed.
"We have never been so insulted."
"Well, clearly we haven't been trying hard enough," Charlie laughed.
He had no cards or presents and would be spending the evening pretending not to exist.
"Surely Ron and Hermione sent you something?" Remus frowned.
"We did!" They exclaimed in unison.
"My mail was being blocked," Harry explained through gritted teeth. "It'll come up shortly." While he appreciated what Dobby had been trying to do, he still hated the methods he'd used.
He was miserable because neither of his friends had written to him all summer.
"We sent you loads of letters. They didn't even come back unopened like normal if they can't be delivered for some reason," Ron pointed out anxiously. He knew about Dobby but considering his thoughts the night before on how he felt he'd let Harry down over the years, he felt the need to make absolutely sure Harry knew he hadn't ignored him on purpose.
"Yeah. I know," Harry told him. "Never did get those letters know. Maybe I should ask for them," he added in an undertone.
Harry had considered unlocking Hedwig's cage but knew it wasn't worth it. He hadn't told the Dursley's he wasn't allowed to use magic and their terror he might turn them into dung beetles stopped them locking him under the stairs with his stuff.
Everyone scowled angrily.
"They wouldn't actually done it. I wouldn't have fit," Harry told the room. As proven by them locking him in his room instead of the cupboard once they did find out. Plus, locking him with his stuff would have given him access to it, something they wanted to avoid.
"That's not the point," Sirius growled.
For the first couple of weeks, Harry had muttered nonsense words under his breath to scare Dudley, but that had lost its appeal after so long cut off from the magical world.
"How is your mail being blocked?" Andromeda wondered. "Even with mail redirect wards up for the general public, they should have been adjusted so your friends should be able to reach you."
"It wasn't the wards," Harry stated.
His friends had then forgotten his birthday. Harry thought he'd even be glad of a sight of his archenemy, Malfoy to make sure it wasn't all a dream.
"Everyone should be glad for a glimpse of me, Potter," Draco said in his haughtiest tone. Harry snorted and Draco couldn't keep his straight face, breaking out into a grin.
"Well, it would have certainly proved it wasn't all a dream. Wouldn't rule out a nightmare though," he retorted. Draco rolled his eyes.
The book then recapped his end of year encounter and how Harry kept having nightmares.
Sirius hugged Harry tightly.
"If you require it, I can brew you some dreamless sleep, Mr. Potter. However, it is highly addictive and can only be taken with great caution," Severus offered quietly. He had spent so long unknowingly breaking his vow, maybe this was a way in which he could start making up for that. He still didn't like the boy, but he certainly didn't hate him anymore. He even empathised slightly, having had a similar upbringing.
Harry looked at him in surprise. "Thank you, professor," he replied politely. "I would appreciate that." He'd been too tired for nightmares the night before, and he expected they would come back with a vengeance tonight. Especially as memories of his second year were going to be dragged up. Glancing over at Ginny, he suspected he wouldn't be the only one needed some dreamless sleep.
Severus nodded sharply.
Harry sat upright as he saw to green eyes staring at him from the hedge.
"Maybe a cat?" Tonks suggested.
"I doubt Harry would have been so startled if he recognised them at cat's eyes. As he spends a lot of time with Mrs Figg's cats," Charlie pointed out.
"Need to keep a better eye on your surroundings," Moody grunted.
"I thought the whole point of being stuck with the Dursleys is that I would be safe there," Harry bit back.
"No wards are infallible," Moody told him. "And as you found out, it only protects you from Voldemort himself. Death Eaters can still touch you. They could attack you."
"But then…surely, he would be safer somewhere else. Somewhere where adult wizards can protect him," Sirius put in, glowering at Dumbledore.
"The protection he gains from Voldemort is invaluable," Dumbledore said quietly. Sirius snorted.
"It comes at too high a cost," Remus stated firmly.
Dudley came over saying he knew what day it was.
"At twelve I should really hope he knows the days of the week," Tonks muttered.
"He probably means Harry's birthday. He's come to taunt him," Bill sighed.
"And I wouldn't count on him knowing the days of the week. At eleven he couldn't do thirty-six add two," Percy added.
The huge eyes blinked and vanished.
"Huge eyes?" Remus frowned, wondering what it could be, especially in a muggle neighbourhood. There were still too many possibilities.
Dudley repeated his knowledge and Harry congratulated him on learning the days of the week.
Several people snickered.
Dudley pointed out it was his birthday and asked if he even had any friends in the freak place.
Everyone growled at Hogwarts being called a freak place.
"That kid might be a product of his parents, but he really needs to have his attitude sorted out," Sirius grumbled angrily.
Harry warned him not to let Petunia hear him talking about Hogwarts. Dudley pulled up his trouser.
"Eww." Ginny wrinkled her nose.
"Could have done without that mental image," Charlie muttered.
"You really would have thought the school would have suggested he go on a diet," Filius stated.
"They might have done. His parents probably ignored it. Harry's aunt said she didn't like the sound of the school food," Pomona reminded him.
Dudley asked why he was staring at the hedge. Harry replied he was deciding on the best spell to set it on fire. Dudley scrambled away, looking panicked.
"It's not like Harry said he planned on setting Dudley on fire," Fred snorted.
"No, that's Hermione's speciality," George said with a wink in the girl's direction. She blushed and ducked her head at the reminded as Snape glowered.
Dudley said he couldn't as Vernon would chuck Harry out and he had nowhere else to go.
"Of course he does," Ron said hotly.
"Harry wouldn't know how to get to ours, dear," Molly reminded him. "But of course, he is always welcome." She shot Harry a kind smile.
"Thanks, Mrs Weasley."
"Call me Molly, dear."
Dudley ran back to the house calling for his mother. Harry paid dearly. It was obvious he hadn't really done magic, but he still had to duck a swing from a frying pan.
There was a moment of silence before the room erupted angrily.
"WHAT?" Sirius yelled. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE SWUNG A FRYING PAN?"
"She tried to hit you in the head with a frying pan?" Emmeline asked furiously.
"That could have caused some serious damage," Kingsley frowned worriedly. "Has she done that before?" Amelia scribbled on her parchment.
Harry struggled to make out all the questions as everyone spoke at the same time and Sirius was yelling quiet loudly in his ear.
"Er, she knew I was going to duck," he defended quietly. Nobody seemed to hear him over the noise around the room.
"Well, if she's done it before, it would certainly explain a few things about Harry, here," Fred pushed down his own fury and tried to turn it into a joke, seeing how uncomfortable Harry was.
"Also explains his agility with those ducking skills," George added. Harry shot them both a grateful smile.
"It's not a laughing matter!" Molly shrieked.
"It's fine, Mrs…Molly," Harry assured her.
It took a while for people to calm down enough to stop yelling.
"Has she hit you with a frying pan, or anything else, before?" Kingsley asked him sternly.
"Er…once or twice," Harry admitted uneasily. That nearly started everyone off again until Dumbledore started reading over them and they quieted down to listen.
Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn't eat again until he'd finished.
"I'm going to set her on fire," Sirius muttered furiously.
Dudley spent the day eating ice cream while Harry completed a long list of chores in the baking sun, burning the back of his neck.
"Please tell me she at least gave you water throughout the day?" Narcissa asked worriedly.
"No. Although I did sneak a few mouthfuls from the hose."
Everyone exchanged furious looks but knew it would do no good to continue shouting. It didn't help Harry now. Almost every adult in the room swore to themselves they would never let him go back to that place, even Narcissa.
Harry reflected that he shouldn't have risen to the bait, but Dudley had said what Harry had been thinking about having no friends.
"I thought you'd been doing that all summer so far anyway?" Neville wondered. "Why was this time different?"
"Because he actually told his mum that time," Harry sighed. "And told him I was planning to set the hedge on fire. When it was just nonsense words, he simply ran away."
He wished they could see the famous Harry Potter now as he did the flowerbed.
Severus sighed and closed his eyes. How had he been so mistaken? He was so far from spoilt it was unreal.
Petunia didn't call him in until half seven.
"You went out at breakfast!" Hermione shrieked.
"You haven't eaten or drank anything all day?" Ron asked in horror.
"You could have been dangerously ill," Andromeda stated. "I would definitely like to do a full medical exam this evening."
"I'm sure I'm fine now. Madam Pomfrey probably fixed me up the number of times I've been in the hospital wing," Harry said hurriedly.
"She wouldn't have fixed it if she wasn't looking for it. Poppy may be good at her job, but she tends not to heal anything that you are not specifically there for because she rarely does in-depth scans," Andromeda told him.
"Would you mind doing one for Sirius?" Remus asked. Sirius scowled furiously at him.
"I don't need you…" he began.
"Of course," Andromeda agreed easily. Sirius and Harry both grimaced. The look in the witch's eye told them they weren't getting out of this. They could only hope she would forget during the afternoon.
He went into the kitchen where dinner was cooking. Harry was given two slices of bread and a lump of cheese for dinner.
"That's it? You were out there since breakfast, and that's all you get to eat?" Emmeline demanded.
"Did you get anything to drink?" Andromeda asked.
"Yeah. I had a glass of water," Harry told her.
Once he'd eaten, he was hurried upstairs. Vernon and Dudley were in the living room in jackets and bow ties.
"Could they even see a bow ties under their fat faces?" George sneered.
"It was difficult," Harry told him with a grin.
The bell rang as he reached the upstairs landing. Vernon warned him not to make a sound. Harry went to collapse on his bed, but there was already someone on it.
"What?" Remus asked.
"Who would be in your room?" Sirius demanded.
"How did they get into your room?" Minerva wanted to know.
"Maybe it was whoever was hiding in the hedge," Kingsley suggested.
"The chapter is over," Dumbledore announced.
"I will read then," Moody grunted. Dumbledore handed him the book.