A Heart Beats in Space — Prologue
Emerging slowly from the colossal shadow of Polyphemus is the fifth daughter of fourteen moons, Pandora. Twinkling like a cosmic gem against the inky void of space, she orbits with perfect precision around the side of the great father, synchronized by the celestial dance of gravity and the passage of time. Despite her relatively small size and unassuming appearance, the moon possesses a unique set of features that sets her apart among her sister moons, whose own dead and barren surfaces pale in comparison to the lush green continents of Pandora. A fact that was not lost on a curious species four light-years away and who, with time, would come to recognize her rare qualities.
Discovered in 2051, ACA e-V (Alpha Centauri A and where 'e' stands for Polyphemus and 'V' representing Pandora) was initially disregarded by most astronomers as another lifeless rock in space. To the people of Earth, it was no more noteworthy than the latest celebrity scandal to grace their newsfeeds on a dreary Monday afternoon.
But then one day, everything changed—as they usually do. Astronomers from the University of Hawaii rented out a pair of radio telescopes and optical telescopes that were in orbit around Pluto, hoping to find pulsars in space. Soon after, they detected a broadcast coming from a point one hundred light years away, right behind Alpha Centauri. The astronomers quickly coded in the navigation parameters and transmitted them to the deep-space satellites, which then began their slow crawl towards Alpha Centauri and beyond.
As with anything far removed from Earth, both telescopes required time to focus on the supposed radio signal. The optical telescope continuously adjusted their lenses and focal length while taking pictures along the way, allowing the astronomers to hone their interstellar photography skills. Despite the challenges posed by the purple-blue gas giant orbiting Alpha Centauri A, which was discovered by the COSTIN ground satellites decades earlier, the astronomers persisted. However, it didn't take long for the giant's atmosphere to ruin the mission when it orbited directly in the path of the binary star system, creating a haze of light that obscured the pulsar's radio signal and obstructed the astronomers' view.
Frustrated by this, the astronomers quickly made the necessary corrections and transmitted the new codes out to each telescope. The agonizing wait for the transmission to be received was tangible. And as they lingered in their officers, hoping for the best, the gas giant had moved on with its orbit, exposing their optical telescope to the tiny black dot with half of its surface facing its parent stars. In quick succession made by the algorithmic computers in Hawaii, the telescopes took pictures, with one such photo depicting a grainy smeared pixel of two colors: Green and blue.
"That's impossible!" became the motto within the Mauna Kea observatory.
Before long, the pictures were studied, tested, and studied again. Between Mauna Kea to universities across the world, the picture of this grainy dot became the most obsessed image in human history. Some attested the colors to a glitch in the telescope, arguing that it had picked up some stray color fragmentation radiating off of the gas giant. Others, however, believed this could be groundbreaking. By the year's end, they found nothing that contradicted the initial belief and soon, many were admitting that it was indeed… something unique.
There was no point in hiding the biggest discovery of the twenty-first century—and the world had to know it.
Starting like an infectious virus, news of the first confirmed Earth-like world spread, filling the daily news cycles of 'the moon that looks like Earth!'. Astronomers that initially dismissed Alpha Centauri were now praising the system for potential habitability. But they needed to know what exactly they were looking at. This required time, and time was all they had. Combining telescopes from both Pluto and Neptune, they embarked on an exploratory investigation into ACA e-V.
Inside of five months' time, millions of pictures were taken. And slowly, the story of the 'moon that looked like Earth' began to weave a narrative from out of this world. Grainy in focus, the first true images they could see were shocking to the human eye. Continents that were green as a blade of grass. Oceans that divided the continents were of a sharp blue.
Each astronomer that day became instant celebrities and the only subject of discussion that humans from the Moon to the Marshall Islands could ever talk about was this moon of Alpha Centauri. But they could not just keep calling it ACA e-V — someone had to give it a name.
Choosing the name came down to the five astronomers who took the picture. A debate that lasted no more than two minutes when the team agreed to give the honor to Dr. Neville Dorman.
"Pandora," he said. So named after Hephaestus' tale of a woman unleashing evil upon humanity. Though intended to be tongue-in-cheek, he never believed this moon would become such a thing as the myth relates. "Polyphemus," the team gave to the gas giant. The one-eyed giant for its Jupiter-like storm roaming over the gassy 'surface'. It was a name that suited the gas giant perfectly as did Pandora for the exomoon.
Over the years, excitement for Pandora refused to wane. People's imagination thirsted for what could be on the surface moon of Pandora and dogged by this excitement, they asked themselves: Was there gelatinous creatures on its surface? Perhaps it was a world populated by humans who were separated by divine forces? Maybe there was a hyper-advance civilization there? Or, as some scientists have argued, there was no life there whatsoever.
No matter where the discussion took them, everyone had the same question on their mind: How do we get there?
Missions to Pandora were prepared as early as 2054. Ballooning costs killed some projects and the reality of reaching the system killed the rest. Four thousand years was the earliest for the first probe to reach the system and that was far too long for anyone to be alive to see it.
All hope of ever seeing what Pandora held behind her secret veil simply vanished.
By 2058, Humanity proved that their curiosity had limitations. For war, disease, and environmental catastrophes was all that plagued the Earth; hurting the very people who lived on their only world.
Looking to the stars for an answer, they believed colonization held the key to all their problems. It was a short dream that could never last as terraforming projects on Mars collapsed under the weight of contractual disagreements and constant revolts from worker unions. Another wrench thrown into their desperate need for survival was the fact that Mars proved far more hostile than once believed.
Finding themselves on borrowed time, the same old problems sought them out again among the stars. A war between rival nations scorched the cratered moonscape of Mare Insularum. Station colonies orbiting around the moon of Earth also began to revolt against their parent shareholders, believing they could run it better than the corporate suits.
Left in the wake of man's problems was Pandora, the faint memory of green land and blue oceans.
'Pandora?' They would ask.
'A fantasy!' Others answered.
Then, in 2061, the Resource Development Administration took on the difficult task to reach Pandora first. Known for colonization efforts across the Solar System, they were not afraid of the undertaking to reach out across the stars and touch Pandora. Their slogan became, 'Ad Astra Per Aspera'—to the stars through difficulties. And difficult it would be.
The first major hurdle to reach Pandora was constructing a viable telescope to pull investors in for future projects. Dubbed, 'Eye of God'. The one trillion-dollar project took ten years to construct around the ice giant Neptune. Six months were granted for mathematicians to calculate where to point the telescope, and half a year of rendering the images to stitch them together.
By the time the picture was taken, people questioned the purpose of spending so much money on what amounted to as a very expensive photograph. But when they saw it, all doubts were erased from their minds. Pandora had returned to the forefront of people's minds and mouths. It was the supernova that the RDA needed to get investors on board for their projects.
What the image could show was far clear than any previous pictures taken. They could see trees undulating across the white poofy clouds. Some tall, others taller and some were so massive that people wondered if they were comparable to their modern-day skyscrapers. The moon also captivated minds for its brilliant deep blue oceans, licking the coastlines like a child eager for sweets. She was dubbed the primordial twin of Earth.
The People of Earth made quick use of the images, parodying them, replicating them, and some even dreamed of walking through the thick jungles of Pandora, wondering what lied just behind a bush.
The Resources Development Administration however felt differently. Believing they could use Pandora as a means of expanding their reach further into space, they first needed governmental approval to do so. A feat that required them to persuade the major governments of Earth.
After a year of debates and brokering promises, the RDA secured full authoritative claim to Alpha Centauri and in exchange, the RDA was to help aid in colonization efforts throughout the Solar System.
At the end, the RDA had become the sole proprietor of Alpha Centauri.
But while the RDA was busy constructing the "Eye of God" telescope around Neptune, the RDA's own research and development team also started working on new technologies in parallel. These included an intricate network of instant communication, superluminal communication, expanded maglev systems, advanced water filtration systems, genetically modified seeds, and robust cloning production of animals. Systematically ending numerous afflicting problems on Earth and her colonies.
Soon, the corporation pursued exploratory advancements in medical technologies that led to the defeat of major diseases. Effectively ending death and prolonging life for Humanity.
The only way to die now was either through crime, war, or old age. The first two, it seemed, was magnified under the new golden age on Earth.
Crippled by economic collapses, chased by dwindling resources on Earth, and ravaged by wars, death had found its way back to the top of the food chain. Most people were unable to see past 67 years of age.
In the end, it didn't matter. The RDA and all of their developments would later prove vital for the success of Pandora's colonization efforts.
To everyone on Earth, the RDA was a Godsend. And towards the end of the decade, the RDA was responsible for alleviating most problems on Earth. Their net-worth exceeded most countries and through lobbying, they even exceeded legislative power over hundreds of countries. A corporation with legislative power—a prospect by which no one cared to question.
By 2073, the RDA's R&D program cracked the code of interstellar flight that to this very day, has not been revealed to the public. The first flight test involved a prototype vehicle that reached near-light-speed from Earth to the Oort Cloud. The mission was a success, proving that humans were on the brink of interstellar flight. Soon after the test, the vehicle re-purposed into Project Jules.
With Project Jules underway, the construction of the Interstellar Experimental Vehicle Bradbury begins.
The multi-trillion-dollar project would see Humanity's first attempt at interstellar voyage from Earth to Alpha Centauri. A daring task that could destroy the RDA or make them more powerful than anyone could imagine.
In 2077, ISV-X Bradbury is completed at a manufacturing station orbiting Neptune. On December 18th, 2077, the Bradbury successfully launches with a crew of twenty and two ROVRs—remotely operated ground vehicles that will be used to explore Pandora.
After seven long years through space, the Bradbury finally reaches Pandora in 2084. And for the first time in human history, eyes from another world descend upon the moon, watching in awe as the illusive emerald jewel of Alpha Centauri drifts out from under the shadow of Polyphemus to greet the crewmembers of the Bradbury. Everyone aboard the ISV-X were amazed by the greenery and sparkling oceans, which resembled those of Earth in every way imaginable, leaving many dumbfounded and questioning how Pandora could be so similar to their homeworld.
To find some of their answers, they began deploying the ROVRs to the surface. Due to an unforeseen circumstance, the first ROVR crashed into the sea while deploying from its pod. It was later investigated that the sensors aboard failed to register the heat as it flew through the atmosphere, leaving the chute to remain inside as it struck the ground. While the other, by a miracle of luck, makes landfall on the continent that will later be named Australis.
The first footage of the Pandoran landscape is revealed to be a near identical ancestor of Earth's Amazonian rain forest. A lush, alien, exotic world. Full of living trees, bizarre plants, flowing streams, and unexpectedly… organic life.
The crew members of the Bradbury were immediately overwhelmed by the absurd amount of biodiversity that they kept encountering. Every new discovery brought them closer to answering the many questions they had about the moon, and like all discoveries, they wanted more.
They were finding that the creatures of Pandora exhibited unique and complex ecological relationships with the world and that they were completely different from those on Earth.
And the more they explored, the more they had come to realize that Pandora was not some carbon-copy of Earth, but a world unto itself, with its own rules and its own mysteries. Perhaps, they thought, that this world held more significant than we originally thought.
They later collected a rock sample near a riverbed, to which the crew dubbed 'unobtanium' due to the superconducting properties that should not exist. They wondered if there was more to Pandora than what they were initially seeing. Immediately, they sent the rock sample, and samples of animal and plant life, aboard a rocket-propelled drone to meet the Bradbury.
However, the most exhilarating encounter by far (and perhaps ever will be) occurred when the ROVR came face to face with a humanoid creature on Pandora. The crewmembers watched in awe as the alien, who was arguably taller than the rover and blue from head to toe, interacted with the ROVR, displaying signs of intelligence, and even wielding a primitive spear. Unfortunately, the encounter took an unexpected turn when the humanoid inadvertently damaged one of the ROVR's cameras, leaving behind only a few minutes of footage recorded and uploaded to the Bradbury before the ROVR's went blind.
No one seemed to be distraught over the ROVR being damaged as they had in their hard drives, undeniable proof of intelligent life beyond Earth.
Everyone huddled around the massive screen as the video of the blue alien was played over and over. It might have been suggested that the video itself was far more thoroughly examined than the Zapruder film.
Frame-by-frame, they paused and looked at the alien looking at the camera, not knowing it was staring at humans from another world.
"Why is it blue?"
"Looks… masculine in the face."
"Look! It has elf ears!"
"I see a tail!"
By the end of the month, it was time to return to Earth. They were unsure how people back home were going to react to seeing video evidence of alien life on another world. Many assumed that people were going to be thrilled by the evidence, while some felt hesitant about sharing such information.
Nonetheless, the Bradbury returned to Earth and seven years later, they were hailed as heroes. And before long investors from far and wide across the Solar System began pouring new blood into the RDA's exploration program. Pictures and videos of the sapient blue being were all the only thing anyone talked about. Who were they? Are they friendly?
The video that the Bradbury brought with them, had been viewed by nearly every human throughout the Sol System. Mesmerized by the fact there was truly another intelligent life out there and it was within their neighborhood. The RDA capitalized on this fact and began producing in mass, merchandise to reflect this zeitgeist. But work on Pandora was far from over.
Biologists became xenobiologist overnight with most hired out by the RDA to consult on the blue indigenous life of Pandora. They quickly gave them a name: Homo Pandorus
Within a year, another expedition was planned and launched. Soon, another ISV was built, named Venture Star. And soon, that expedition was launched.
Their mission on Pandora shifted from scientific endeavors to a mining operation after the 'unobtanium' proved revolutionary—turning the RDA into the single most important and profitable corporate entity on Earth. Earth itself grew exponentially with the help of this metal, where entire buildings could be suspended on top of one another by a mere centimeter and never touch, creating a honeycomb-like system by which cities became crammed and overlapping. Land, once rich and green, were decimated to make room for ever expanding city growth. Coupled by the advancements in medicine, death it seemed, was delayed by almost fifteen additional years.
Humanity appeared to have entered a new industrial revolution that incorporated Pandora into their plans. And by 2107, both ISV Venture Star and Bradbury were retrofitted thanks to a new shipment of unobtanium, which allowed the construction of a larger matter/anti-matter chamber. As a result, it now takes six years to reach Pandora, instead of seven.
The RDA started to build a small colony by 2099, establishing the first interstellar colony in human history. It was also where a team of xenobiologist were tasked with interacting with the indigenous lifeforms. They later learned, after recording and deciphering their language, that Homo Pandorus were called the Na'vi. With their language deciphered, their culture recorded, and their history written, the information was sent to Earth where teams of scientists began to piece the puzzle of the Na'vi together.
In time, the United Nations of Earth caught wind of the Na'vi and their interactions with the RDA. Urging the RDA to seek a diplomatic approach in handling the Na'vi, the RDA created the Avatar Program. And thanks to Dr. Cordell Lovecraft, who was known as an eccentric genius and a pioneer in genetic modification and transhumanism, he oversaw the Dark Dreamer project that led to humans being able to drive a cloned Na'vi/Human hybrid.
The project was aimed at the possibility of transmitting the consciousness of an individual to that of a clone who is vacant of a consciousness; allowing the operator or 'driver' to work in far more dangerous environments across the Solar System without risking their own life in the process.
The project was nearly scrapped after a male test subject had their consciousness stuck inside of a clone worker. The subject later died, along with the clone. The RDA picked up the project again following the UNE's recommendation to amicably find a way to communicate with the Na'vi peacefully.
Years of studying Na'vi physiology led to the first creation of an avatar sometime in 2120. Ten candidates for the program were selected, based on their field of expertise and ability to communicate with the Na'vi. Among them was Dr. Grace Augustine.
By 2119, the RDA finishes construction on Extra-Solar Colony 01 on Pandora, which housed hundreds of RDA employees. All of whom began their mining operation to extract even more unobtanium at an unprecedented rate while the Avatar Program personnel handle the diplomatic side of dealing with the Na'vi.
For a while, it appeared that the Na'vi came to terms with accepting the 'Sky People' living on their land, thanks to the work by Program leads and their drivers. However it did not take long before conflict, such as the one that haunted Earth for centuries, came lurking out from the shadows to threaten the Na'vi and their way of life.
While no official declaration was made, barring the fact the Na'vi had no concept of this, the RDA ensured that the Na'vi were to be left alone, with very little interaction to be made with them. This led to ostracization by the Na'vi who viewed humans with contempt. By 2152, It appeared at long last that there was no repairing the relationship between Humanity and the Na'vi following a fatal attack at Grace Augustine's school for Na'vi children. Shortly thereafter, all communication and diplomatic attempts with the Na'vi had ceased.
Back on Earth, Humanity refused to mend their relationship with their interstellar cousins across the stars. To many, they have become nothing more than pests. To the Na'vi, the Sky People were invaders.
In the summer of 2154, an avatar driver by the name of Jake Sully leads a rebellion against Extra-Solar Colony 01. And on August 23rd, 2154, the Assault on the Tree of Souls begin.
August 23rd, 2154 — Tree of Souls
"It's all over—"
The Colonel, bruised, bloodied, and hungry for more, grinned upon hearing those words. He turned the amplified mobility platform around to face Jake. In the mechanical hand, Quaritch spins the blade in a devilish way then stops it with the tip facing upward, showing Jake the serrated edge trickling with thanator blood.
"Nothing's over while I'm breathing." Quaritch said, taunting Jake.
Jake agreed with the sentiment, saying coolly, "kinda hope you'd say that."
Quaritch refused to give Jake another second to speak as he sprints towards him like a metal rhinoceros.
Each leg of the eighteen-ton AMP kicks up grass as Quaritch hurdles the weapon of war onto Jake's position, preparing for the killing blow, and ending this pathetic little war.
The avatar also dashes toward the mechanical beast, his eyes narrowing not on Quaritch, but something hidden plainly in the grass beside him.
Seeing the avatar run towards him, Quaritch responds by raising both robotic arms into the air and firing the tip of the blade towards Jake.
From his position, Quaritch estimated that Jake's willingness to run into his attack would result in the point-end driving through his body.
What a stupid fool!
However, the attack was a ruse.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jake spots the glinting bayonet lying in the grass. A gift from Neytiri and her palulukan, who, moments earlier, managed to break it into pieces, providing Jake with a weapon that he immediately scoops and uses to block the killing blow.
Utilizing the AMP's strength, Quaritch drives the blade down, slamming it hard against the bayonet and stopping mere centimeters from eviscerating Jake.
Quaritch holds onto his knife, finding that the blade was caught in the bayonet's metal looping.
With strength leaning into Jake's side, he twists the bayonet and sends the AMP's knife spinning into the air.
They both watch as the knife strikes the habitat of the shack. Unfazed, Jake faces Quaritch again, this time he rears his fangs and hisses at the man in the metal suit, taunting him into a life-and-death struggle. If Jake is unable to kill Quaritch now, then eventually, he was going to realize his true weakness.
As each man blocked the other's incoming blow, they deflected their energy elsewhere, preventing either of them from gaining the upper hand. Flesh of the avatar turns bloody and mechanical gears of the AMP become torn. But neither of it stops Jake or Quaritch from trying again, hoping to gain the necessary advantage before the grueling battle wears them out.
Neytiri, the tsakarem of the Omatikaya, watches the fight from her half-buried position beneath the thanator. Her gaze switches from angst for Jake to annoyance with the weight of the palulukan as she pushes down on the black flesh of the beast. She did believe her mate would emerge victorious, but when she saw the mechanical beast fling the bayonet at Jake's home, she knew she had to act. Gritting her teeth, she pushes down with both hands against the flesh of her palulukan, her fingers digging into the thick armor plating. Slowly, she felt the weight of the creature sliding off her, allowing one leg to slip free. As she concentrated on her escape, she heard a soft fleshy thud. She glances up to find that her Jake had fallen.
"Jeyk!" She cries out.
The avatar could not hear her voice pleading for him as Jake's conscious mind slips temporarily into his human body.
The link-unit, still connected to the avatar, tosses him back into the same blue body as before.
Waking back up, Jake realizes he has little time left as the toxic Pandoran atmosphere fills the science shack, causing him to phase in and out of his avatar. Shaking off the bleary confusion, he gathers what was left of his bearings before feeling a massive metal hand reaching down to grab at his queue.
Raising the squirming avatar up to his eye-level, Quaritch stares him down, glad to have finally caught the traitor of Humanity. Reaching over to his right side, he yanks the massive Na'vi blade that Jake used to attack Quaritch with and missed. Turning the blade against Jake, Quaritch believed the only value this blade had left was to slit open Jake's throat.
Another leg free, Neytiri turns over, searching for her bow that she lost during the fight. It flung somewhere on the ground, hiding from her among the blades of grass.
Grunting with all of his strength, Jake swore this was not the end. He needed a plan. He always knew how to get out of tight situations like this before.
C'mon Jake, think!
The mechanical rotors on the AMP's arms whine against Jake's strength, his own quivering retaliation futile. Quaritch maintains his fixed attention on Jake's throat. Once he kills this avatar, he was going to allow the cripple to suffocate to death. Two deaths for the price of one. Glorious.
Then, out from Jake's peripheral, a flash of an arrow flies across his vision, striking hard against Quaritch with the momentum that caught the monster off guard, throwing the AMP off balance and allowing Jake to fall to the ground.
Jake, now free of both Quaritch and the blade, had another problem: the toxic fumes.
Without hesitation, Neytiri charges straight into the line of sight of the Sky Demon, fearlessly exposing herself to her target. She swiftly nocks another arrow to her bowstring, determined to unleash her fury upon the beast. Drawing the string back with all her might, she releases the arrow with such force that it whistles straight and true, flying across the diminishing space between the warriors. The arrowhead pierces not only the demon's body, but also the metal frame behind it.
Rushing over, Neytiri defends Jake's lifeless body from the staggering metal beast. She hisses and flashes her teeth as a warning to it that if it desires more, she is ready and willing to fight. Quaritch's face contorts into a death grimace as he and the AMP crash to the ground, creating a magnificent cacophony of metal-on-metal impact with the earth.
With the beast dead, Neytiri turns her attention to Jake. Grabbing him by the sides, Neytiri realizes that despite his lifeless appearance, his body was still breathing.
Inside the shack, Jake explodes out from the link-bed, his mouth gasping for air as he attempts to grab his wheelchair. The momentum of his hand pushes the chair away, leaving him with no choice but to pursue the emergency respirator unit resting beside the wall. His only wish was that his parents could give him genes that made him slightly taller as he struggles with one hand to grab at the mask. His fingernails scratch pathetically at the protective plastic, mocking his endeavors to save himself before his left-hand falls into exhaustion, throwing him and the rest of his straggling body to the ground.
Jake lets out the last bit of oxygen from his lungs as he turns over, gasping for air. His crippled body crawls along the floor, desperate to cling against the metal frame that divided the shack wall. The mask he needs to survive hangs high above him, just out of reach of his hand. With a trembling hand, he tries to grasp any part of the mask to bring it down to him. But the carbon dioxide is already starting to absorb into his alveoli, pushing out the remaining oxygen from his blood.
One final effort from his hand clutches at the mask, but not enough to save Jake as he slips onto the ground, his body convulsing while the carbon dioxide pools inside his lungs, making the world around him go black.
"Jeyk!" She calls to him again.
No response.
She shakes the avatar a little, her hand caressing his face, desiring her Jake to return to her as tears threaten to break through the warrior's fear.
But as she could see, he was not responding to anything.
However, Neytiri was not yet ready to give up. Looking over her shoulder, she instantly made the connection in her mind that her real Jake was still alive somewhere inside the strange metal home. Running to the shack, she looks inside from an observatory window, her eyes desperate and clueless before discovering his body on the ground. Fueled by panic, Neytiri searches feverishly for a way to get in before finding a hole in the wall. Vaulting through the shattered glass window, she sees Jake convulsing on the ground—now in his human form.
Throughout her life, Neytiri was repulsed by the sight of the Sky People. They were small, pink, irritable and violent and she had always told herself that she would never spare a second of her own life to touch one. And yet, here she was, inside one of their homes, on her knees, cradling for this one to stay alive.
She shook him, trying to wake him up before remembering the odd jewelry object that the Sky People wore over their faces.
Augustine had taught her about it.
That was what they needed to breathe!
Neytiri searched the room frantically but couldn't find it until her gaze landed on the mask lying next to Jake's arm.
This had to be it!
Without a second's hesitation, she grabs it and tries the best to her knowledge to fit it over his face.
She feared she was too late. Clenching her jaw, she waited. Waited for life. Waited for death. Whatever the outcome, she waited.
Then, flashing across her view, his small arms swung around to grab at the mask, to which Jake adjusted it before pressing on something that made him wheeze for air. The visor briefly fogs of oxygen, allowing Jake to drag air after air until his vision cleared enough to see the one who saved him.
His eyes followed around the lips, bleary. He moved onto the contours of the cheek, fuzzy but getting clearer. Tracing along the path of the familiar green paint of the face, he finally settles on the halcyon eyes of this alien world.
"Neytiri," he breathed out, his voice a ragged whisper.
Despite knowing that Neytiri could never love him for who he truly was — small, short, and pink — Jake had long ago prepared himself for the day when she would finally see him and inevitably reject him.
How could she love a man who reminded her of so much pain and misery? She devoted her love to the strong, tall, and blue avatar. The avatar that defeated the Sky People. The avatar the rallied the Na'vi clans. The avatar that loved and cared for her. And Jake? He had helped the RDA destroy her home and killed her People. Whatever it was that was left of him, no longer existed. He had resigned himself to the fact that he would never measure up to her love, to her mercy.
Yet as he lay cradled in her arms, he saw something unexpected in her eyes — a faint smile, a glimmer of tenderness. Hesitant to touch her face, Jake reaches up anyways, defying the ill-fated feeling that she might hate him for who he is. A powerful electricity flowed through him as his fingers, gentle and loving, finally graces the flesh of her cheek.
She's warm. And then, in a moment that stretched out impossibly, he saw Neytiri as he had never seen her before, not as a Na'vi but as a woman. A woman he cared for deeply, a woman he needed now more than ever, a woman he could not bear to live without.
"I see you," Jake warmly greets her. The words finally felt true to him. No more lies. No more deceit.
Overwhelmed by the raw biting emotion of her aching love for him, a tear breaks through the withering worry of Neytiri's expression, allowing the warmth of it to trickle alongside his hand. She tries to formulate a greeting in return, but something inside of her tells her to stop. It's not enough to say it in the blind wake of burning emotion. Curated by the coursing instinct, Neytiri brings Jake closer, wanting to see him more clearly as she finally says:
"I see you."
Jake smiles back at her, raptured by her love.
And with those three words, his life was changed forever.
For thirteen long years, it felt like I had lived a life I did not deserve.
The first year after was like an earthquake that could shatter worlds, and maybe that was what I needed. A breaking of my old self. To leave behind fragments that were no longer compatible with my new life.
It required strength that I didn't know I had, and to this day, I still struggle to define. Luckily for me, the Na'vi and the Omatikaya filled the rest of that something that was broken long ago.
But, there are days where I question myself of who I am and what I am doing here. Despite Neytiri's insistence that I was the man they needed, I continued to question whether I was truly worthy of their trust and respect.
How could I look upon their faces and believe that, after all the losses we had suffered?
I don't know. But time, like life, continued on. And like life, new things sprouted from the ashes of war.
It didn't take long before we became unofficial parents to a kid, who had lost both parents in the war. He was too young to be on his own but too old to be taken in as a ward by anyone else in the clan. And as such, his misfortune of being an orphan of the war became our gain. I was never hesitant to accept the responsibility, and neither was Neytiri. So when we took him in, we raised him as one of our own. To say he was a special gift was an understatement.
He was worth more to us that anyone could possibly imagine. But as he grew older, I could see that look in his eyes, that thousand-yard stare every once in a while when I would catch him looking at me, with a voice that was hidden behind his tortured gaze, screaming at me from the torment of losing his own biological parents.
They say time heals all wounds, but I'm not certain if it ever healed his.
Tarsem...
Tonight, he'll become One of the People. I can only hope he found some small measure of peace.
But eventually we did become parents—real parents. Our firstborn, Neteyam was rather… wild. Wilder than some might have expected. I remembered seeing his little baby fingers grabbing hold of one of Neytiri's braids and just yanking it like he had to start a motor. I never heard Neytiri cry out in both pain and shock of his strength. That smile of hers as she looked over him that evening never faded from my memories, and I hope it never does.
Our second was much calmer, Lo'ak. Not that I didn't mind wild, but it was welcoming to have a chill kid around, until his brother took his wooden toys and declared a tug of war right in front of me. Any efforts to bring peace was met with resistance. I liked that. But occasionally you had to be the father, y'know?
Our third was Tuktirey. Tuk was quite special and very close to Neytiri. Maybe because she was a girl and Neytiri was praying that they would have a girl. She would show her how to weave, decorate, and dance. The boys were kinda mine, but Tuk also enjoyed watching me field strip firearms and wrestle with her brothers (after I told them that she had to win each time).
Then there was Kiri, our adopted daughter. She was born from Grace's avatar and was close in age to Neteyam. None of us knew who her father was, but I wasn't about to believe in a virgin birth—no way! But… If you had told me years ago that I would be living on an alien world, in a different body, I would have called you crazy. So there's that. Besides, I still have moments where I question my sanity.
Curious of knowing who the father was, I brought up a suggestion to Norm to test the fetus. He shook his head, as usual, probably thinking some grunt had no idea what consequences would follow. He argued and rightly justified in our debate that it was none of our business to know. Neither was it in the best interest for Kiri to know either. Not until Norm understood how Grace even became pregnant in the first place. I had my suspicion, but Norm was hardly on my top ten most wanted list. He respected Dr. Augustine too much to dabble in that. Besides, his love was killed back during the battle.
That aside, she was a wonderful kid and a daughter too. Curious as a cat who sought adventure, looking at the world in ways I could not even begin to imagine. She almost reminded me of me when I first came to this world. Her eyes were lit with a fire of awe and wonder, her hands touching practically everything she came across, as though it was all new to her again. I personally lost count how many times she would come across a simple flower, hunch over and began studying it – just like what Grace would do. Without the cursing and the smoking.
But the greatest benefit about Kiri was her relatively peaceful nature to keep to herself; except her opinions. Whenever there was an argument, she played the contrarian, right up until Neytiri's last remaining nerve threatened her with silence. I almost had to duck out of the way when one day Kiri dropped a gnarly opinion on Neytiri's lap about refusing to train as a huntress. Like a bomb from above, it exploded and so did Neytiri. Like a good father and a better Marine, I intervened to save Kiri's hide and to remind her that she shouldn't speak like that to her mother. Kiri found her way to apologize but she always felt she was right. But the truth is, she wasn't a bad kid. In fact, she was quite bright, and I was never going to tell her to shut up about her opinions. Let them roll, I say.
Then lastly, there was this other kid – Miles Socorro. You're starting to get the picture that maybe we have too many kids swarming around us like bees. I think of it as running a massive circus and keeping it all up was a juggle onto itself. He was human. Born and raised on a world that was not fit for his body, whose mother and father died in battle. A father that Neytiri ended up killing.
Quaritch… that's an unfortunate father. But Miles didn't seem to care. He carried on, with his head held high.
He wore, laughably, blue stripe body paint. An attempt to blend in with the Na'vi when he would hang around my kids. He was tough though. Once staring down a viperwolf and scaring it off with his own ear curdling howling. Strange kid. But I liked him too. The kids also liked him, and he liked us—except Neytiri. She wanted him gone.
Every day and night was a blessing to be around my children, regardless who hung around us.
Meanwhile, Mo'at, Neytiri's mother and spiritual guide, seemed lost without her mate. She busied herself with keeping the tribe closer through spiritual insights, but I tried to bring her around as much as possible, to make her feel loved and welcomed. I knew she liked me, however just like Tarsem, she did not see me the same way as Neytiri would. I tried to make her happy by cracking a joke or two but the most I could get out of her was a nod. I wish I could make her laugh. That's my ultimate goal this year.
However, that is what I hated. How they never told me directly to my face of how they felt. No one spoke ill of me or try to gossip (not that it was their way), but neither did they share about any problems they may have felt about me. Though, according to Neytiri, that was highly impossible due to the hierarchy of the clan. Sometimes I just wish they would be upfront about their feelings towards me.
But I guess that is a problem uniquely fitting of my paranoia. Because each night when I try to sleep, all I could feel is this heavy stone in my heart. As though I'm leading the People to certain death and it's only sinking further down, pulling my soul with it.
If they did not tell me what they believed of me, my nightmares certainly did.
It was the glares of the dead that got to me the most. They could see past my skin and recognize the true inner-being that was me. A human. A man who masquerades as one of them. Each night, they reminded me I was not them. Not the People.
Surprisingly, those were the easiest to ignore. Because other nights, I had nightmares that my sins were catching up to me, and soon enough, they will engulf not only me, but everyone around me in some all-consuming hell-fire.
I can feel that fire.
They were coming.