Hidan deftly balanced his coffee, key card to enter the building, and breakfast wrap in one hand while holding a phone in the other and watching reels from Instagram. His fingers had been curled up tight around the other trinkets so as not to drop them. The 'Click' noise of the door unlocking allowed him to turn around and heave the door open by putting his weight back onto it. He didn't hear it as his AirPods were turned up so loud, yet the tiny green light to show it was unlocked was all he needed.

His eyes never strayed from the screen as he swept into the office. Luckily, Hidan's desk was on the ground floor - he didn't have to navigate the stairs.

The office was a modern open plan. Sections of bright white desks were dotted around, and there were even squashy beanbags nestled in a corner for impromptu chats. A doorway led off to the upper floors and a kitchen stocked with chocolate, snacks and drinks. On Fridays, they finished early, and beers were broken out. The office building was near the city centre, which was a delight for its proximity to the local bars and pubs, should they wish to continue onwards.

Hidan took a draw of the coffee from his travel cup and opened his palm to drop the other items on his desk. The wrap made a satisfying thud as it landed. Damn, he was hungry this morning.

Hidan's desk was slotted at the end of a bank of three; his manager sat across from him, although she wasn't in yet. No one else was.

The downside of getting lifts to work with Kakuzu was that he always wanted to be in the office early, so Hidan had time to kill before his co-workers joined. Yet it was either drive in with Kakuzu or get the bus on his own later. As Hidan bit into his breakfast wrap, relishing bursts of egg yolk in his mouth, he considered that it wasn't the worst situation to be in.

Why Kakuzu had to get up so early every day, Hidan had long stopped questioning. It was pointless; Kakuzu wasn't one to let go of his long "productive" routine.

The only thing that rankled Hidan slightly was that it cut into his morning prayer time. Kakuzu was unforgivingly stubborn - he left at 07:30; If Hidan wasn't ready, Kakuzu wasn't waiting for him.
Hidan booted up his work laptop, scrolling on his phone whilst he waited for his work computer to load up properly. A whirring hummed in the air as it kicked in, and Hidan's eyes alighted on an interesting message on his phone.

Earlier that morning, Sasori had messaged in their group chat.

There were about four messages in quick succession detailing what plans he and Deidara had come up with for the stag party. There was a link to the venue they were proposing to stay at. Hidan rolled his eyes when he clocked the time; here was another fucking worm-eating, early riser. Why the fuck was Sasori awake at 05:23?

Hidan roved over the messages, taking them in. A trickle of excitement ran from his chest to his stomach as he read further.

The converted barn looked great, spacious and isolated. The pool was tempting - the heat of the summer hadn't abated, and to slip into cooler waters would be welcoming.

No one had replied to the suggestion. Kakuzu hadn't even read it yet. Hidan exhaled through a smile at that, unsurprised. Kakuzu hated replying back to messages, so he often just ignored them until he absolutely must respond.

Deidara had read the message in the chat but said nothing so far.

As the ground floor door swung open again, Hidan knew who it would be. He turned back and gave his boss a grin. Konan was wearing sunglasses, a white button-down shirt and fitted trousers. Around her shoulders, she had draped a smart navy jacket. Her vibrant blue hair was turned up into an elegant bun.

"Morning." She said casually as she moved over to her own desk. As Konan sat down, her eyes met Hidan's over the divider, the way they often did. "Steamhouse tonight?" Her request was blunt yet needed no further elaboration. Steamhouse Bar was a popular haunt for their particular clique of after-work drinks.

"YES!." Hidan enthused, drawing out the syllables. "About fucking time we went out - it's been weeks!" He was pumped; things were coming together nicely. He began work that morning with an extra touch of vigour, launching tangents of conversation toward Konan and his other co-workers when they arrived.

...

Kakuzu's attention was drawn to the stubborn notification popping up on his computer screen. He was on a conference call, yet the assailant would not back down.
Even though Kakuzu had not responded, still the other person chirped away.

Eventually, it became too wearing to ignore, as each 'ping' of notification made Kakuzu's skin crawl. He bit, opening the chat exchange. Of course, it was Hidan messaging him - Kakuzu knew it would be.

His partner was prodding him to come down for lunch with a stream of short messages. It wasn't even 12 yet, yet Hidan's last message to Kakuzu was, "I'm fucking starving here."

Kakuzu let the soft wafts from the air con bathe him before replying, "I'm busy. Go without me."

Soon enough, another message from his fiancé popped up. "I'm not sitting outside on my own. I'm not you."

"Hilarious," Kakuzu replied quickly. He felt fidgety; indeed, the person currently going through their presentation on the other end of the call was droning on.

Kakuzu held a pause before deciding he had heard enough. "I'll be there soon." He messaged Hidan back and sharply exited the call, locking his computer. Stepping away from his desk, Kakuzu's shoulders loosened up, and he felt oddly calm.
It took Kakuzu until he was at the top of the staircase to realise it was because for the first time there was a person whose company was more important than his work. A thrill shot through Kakuzu's body at that thought as he began the long descent down their office block.

He still had to get used to that, rather. The real, unyielding love was something he had to slowly let in. Kakuzu had reservations about letting his guard down, which had taken Hidan's stubborn perseverance to break through.

Kakuzu had been betrayed when he was younger, and the poison of it had laced his behaviour up until now. It all started when he was fresh into his post-university career. He took a posting in the city, and Kakuzu had started off determined, sanguine. He wanted to prove his salt and be great at his first internship. Kakuzu became steadfastly loyal to the people around him as the years, and responsibility, crept up and up. He even stayed firm when things took a questionable route; he didn't want what success he and the others had built to crumble. Kakuzu never gave in, even when the work he was doing was clearly eating away at him. He didn't have any family, having left a troubled home environment when he was accepted on a scholarship to college. No one was there to be his balm, the voice in the soft evenings telling him to stop.

He had complete independence to work himself halfway to a zombie state.

Then, disaster struck. They'd invested in a front for organised crime; the shady dealings had come back to bite. Investigations were opened, and legal challenges; the spotlight was on their company. Kakuzu, the most junior person involved, was thrown to the wolves when the times got tough and took the fall.
Despite all the long hours, and blood, sweat and soul he had given them, where had these directors left him? In the gutter.

The rage built, and Kakuzu took matters of retaliation into his own hands. His meticulous nature meant he had a solid list of contacts and industry insights. Now he had been betrayed by his partners; he had no qualms about using it to their detriment and his advantage.

For now, Kakuzu was forced to rebuild what shreds remained of his life after losing his job, his security and having to start from scratch with an indelible stain against his name.

It was in these dreadful years that he met Sasori. The redhead and he had connected through a shared hatred of the job that they both took to pay the bills. Still, despite their differences in taste, Kakuzu got on rather well with the prickly Sasori.
It even led to them sharing an apartment together for a time.

It was a partnership Kakuzu would later value, in more ways than one, for Sasori would save his life one grisly night. As he continued down the staircase, Kakuzu avoided thinking about that night, touching his mask out of habit.

Hidan and Sasori were one of only a few in his small circle of genuine relationships. For everyone else, they were a means to a purpose. Now he knew how easily loyalty could count for naught. Even Hidan had started off in that simple condition. When Hidan had come onto him at the work drinks, Kakuzu was motivated by seeking a good time, right here, right now.

Hidan was willing and enticing; from the first taste, Kakuzu was excited. They soon had a beneficial arrangement going. Working at the same place was handily convenient, Kakuzu mused.

His lips twitched in a smile as Kakuzu thought back to one night when the two of them had stayed late after the office had cleared. He had damn near railed Hidan over his desk; Kakuzu had looked on from above as he slid in and out of Hidan. The feeling was invigorating as Hidan yelled at him to go harder; Hidan was about to cum, and he wanted to feel Kakuzu pound into him as he did so. Kakuzu, his face a picture of heated bemusement, obliged.

Even the next day, Kakuzu couldn't get the smell of Hidan out of his office. It was more than distracting, and it made him want Hidan again that night.

And so, the following evening, Kakuzu invited Hidan round to his flat once again, and their usual activities followed. Afterwards, Hidan was savouring a beer. He drank with large gulps; Kakuzu noticed Hidan often proclaimed to be ravenous or so thirsty he could DIE after they had been fucking. Kakuzu leant back against the bed frame, his eyes piercing as he watched the movements of Hidan's neck muscles.

"Mmm, fuck, that was good." Hidan had groaned in an undertone.

Kakuzu's expression was thoughtful, even a little mellow. Yeah. It had been, he acknowledged.

Kakuzu noticed that Hidan had begun to hang around for longer each time they had sex. The first time, he had left Kakuzu's apartment pretty soon the next day. Now, however, after a good few months of meeting up, he was often suggesting they get takeout afterwards, not that Kakuzu would jump at that suggestion. Hidan was always ravenous late at night. If he weren't eating, he'd simply lay on his front, legs up in the air, as he rapidly churned out some banal observations towards Kakuzu. Sometimes Kakuzu zoned out as the rising intonation filled the room.

This night, however, was marred by Hidan calling him out. "Oi, dickhead - are you even paying attention?!"

Kakuzu winced, albeit only momentarily. He inclined his head towards Hidan, expecting him to carry on with his almost sermon-like ramblings.

Hidan inhaled and suddenly rushed out "You wanna go out for some dinner tomorrow?"

Kakuzu's heart thudded as he acknowledged a ripple of excitement coursing through his blood.

This guy, he really wanted more?

Kakuzu mulled the thought over before letting it trickle away. He realised, for the first time in a while, he had no reservations about this offer. Strangely, he was curious to spend more time with Hidan.

Hidan brought a hurricane of noise into his life. Yet, as Kakuzu's eyes followed Hidan as he crawled up the bed towards him, coming to a lean against Kakuzu's thighs, he realised Hidan also brought vibrancy to it.

Hidan shifted his weight, so he was putting the bulk of it on Kakuzu. The latter acknowledged the feeling, moulding into it. Their faces were closer; Kakuzu could take in the delicate wisps of hair that just curled at Hidan's nape as he pushed it back so much. He placed his lips against Hidan's transfixing skin, moving slowly up Hidan's neck.

Hidan's body felt jittery with the touch. As if trying to mask the elation it was prompting, he called out in a mock-churlish tone, "Hey, hey - you haven't had your fill of me already? Are you gonna answer my question or what?"

"Hmmm," Kakuzu murmured against Hidan's neck, thinking. His nostrils were filled with Hidan's scent; it was captivating, especially when a ripple of sweat ran through. Hidan always smelt good. Kakuzu would later learn that Hidan liked to take a long time in the shower and splurged on nicer products than Kakuzu would ever purchase.

Feeling pretty relaxed, Kakuzu spoke again. "Maybe I could cook something for you here?" Kakuzu suggested instead; his voice was casual.

Hidan eyebrows raised in surprise. Kakuzu had never offered Hidan to come over for anything other than their mutual pleasure. Hidan caught on straight away there was more to this offering than just dinner and responded in an uplifted jest. "You better cook me something good then. If you just serve super noodles, I'm not bothering."

That actually garnered a laugh from Kakuzu. Both of them, without stating it to the other, realised their boundaries had begun to chip away ever so naturally.

Being with Hidan was a surreal escape, akin to dipping into happiness Kakuzu thought he wouldn't be allowed to experience. It made him realise how long he'd been closed off, truly open with no one in his life. Kakuzu had been encased in a thick, unyielding prison of his own making. He could invite someone into his home for pleasure, yes, no problem. So long as he could get them out of his hair as soon as their usefulness was fulfilled. But being ok with them staying for an extended period of time? Scratch that; straight up wanting them to?

That was a definite shift.

It was that night that Kakuzu began to enjoy the moments that followed the physical.

Coming back to focusing on the present, Kakuzu stepped out of their office building, and he saw that Hidan had already grabbed their lunch from the communal fridge. He was sitting on the wall that surrounded a raised bed of plants, perching right on the edge. The jungle of tall, sweet-smelling flowers and shrubs gave the outside quad area a pleasant atmosphere.

Hidan held out Kakuzu's lunch, rattling it toward his partner. Kakuzu's brows creased in the middle.

Once Kakuzu had joined him, Hidan ate with gusto. Their conversation lurched from one way to another. Often, Hidan liked to share variable tangents with his partner. Such as "Should I get another tattoo BEFORE the wedding?", "We gotta have spare ribs for dinner late - and swing by Ofersons for donuts, fuck - I want one so badly!"
And how could he forget "Do you think Sonic looks at his own junk as he curls into a ball and runs?"

The last one earned a sizable eye roll from Kakuzu, who ate quickly. He was almost done when Hidan steered the conversation eagerly towards their upcoming stag do.

"Have you seen the place Sasori found? It's fucking great." Hidan crunched a sugar snap pea within his pork and vegetables dish with relish.

Kakuzu's ears perked up in interest. "No." He admitted. Yet now, he was intrigued. "Is it really?" Kakuzu mused. As Hidan eagerly whipped his phone out, scrolling through the photos on the rental website and angling it toward Kakuzu to show him, he continued babbling with excitement about the upcoming stag party.

A modest smile appeared on Kakuzu's face.

Once they'd looked through the details together, Hidan sat back, his weight resting on his palms as he grinned back at Kakuzu.

"We got everyone confirmed, then?" Kakuzu queried, reclining with folded arms as he sat back on the wall. Balmy sunshine bore down from overhead. The heat was beginning to gather at the back of his suit jacket. He was relieved that they were having a relatively low-key stag do; only their closest friends in a private booking. Their wedding guest list was relatively similar; it was primarily extended to just a few business associates of Kakuzu and Hidan's church fellows.

"Yeah, it seems like it." Hidan chirped, tapping a reply back to Sasori.

In no time at all, the party would be upon them.

...

Earlier that morning Sasori inched up the bed, trying to get comfortable.

It was still so early; the phone screen light was harsh in the shadows that surrounded the rest of the room. There was a lamp emanating a weak light from the other side of the bed.

After Sasori sent the message about their stag do plans to the group chat, he locked his phone. He cast a troubled eye over to his left.

Deidara was nestled into the duvet on the other side of the bed. The sound of soft breathing gave away that Deidra was still peacefully asleep.

Sasori was plagued by a nagging, irrational thought. Although he knew it was fanciful, Sasori couldn't shake the fear that somehow Kakuzu and Hidan would work out he was texting from Deidara's bed. The thought caused his body to tingle with embarrassment.

Sasori cast a glance over at Deidara's frame once again, sweat pooling on his upper back.

He knew it was absurd to believe that his friends could gather that information when they were many, many miles away.

And yet…

The uncomfortableness of their situation seemed to peck at Sasori.

Feeling antsy, Sasori got out of bed. He began dressing, searching quietly through the discarded clothes on the bedroom floor. Never would he imagine he'd be doing this in DEIDARA'S bedroom, of all places.

It had been happening now for a few days, since that fateful Saturday night when he had barged round Deidara's house. Sasori's middle squeezed in a mixture of apprehension and exhilaration, thinking back to it. The surreality of this situation had not worn off.

His breath was short, stilted. Sasori escaped into the bedroom, carrying his clothes and creating some more distance between him and Deidara.

The floor was welcomingly cool to his bare feet as began dressing. Still, Sasori's mind was fixated on his neighbour. After the first time they had sex, they collapsed against each other, their bodies heated and flushed. It had felt great. Sasori did not deny that. Deidara was…something else.

Sasori hadn't stopped overnight in Deidara's bed that first night. He made his short trip back to his own house after a couple hours. It was late by the time Sasori was laying back on his own bed, on top of the covers. He couldn't sleep. All he could think was that his neighbour was only a wall away. If Sasori stared at the wall across from his bed, there was a good chance Deidara was there right now.

The thought spooked Sasori, who barely slept a wink that night.

The next morning, the gravity of what passed between them weighed heavily on Sasori's chest. How would Deidara act around him now? That same squirming feeling returned to his middle as realised he was reluctant to bump into Deidara once again. He didn't know how to feel about it right now, only that he couldn't explain how he did feel. Avoidance was probably the best course of action today, and so Sasori kept resolutely to his study most of the day.

That was until a buzz of Sasori's phone later that afternoon changed the course of his and Deidara's relationship.

As Sasori pulled his phone out of his pocket, his heartbeat cranked up the tempo after seeing the message was from Deidara. It read, rather simply, "You up for round two?"

Sasori had to re-read the message a few times for it to sink in. He rubbed the bank of his neck as he stared back at the screen.

Eventually, Sasori fought through the inertia of emotions to type back.
"Right now?"

His heart was racing as the three dots indicated Deidara was replying - he didn't keep Sasori waiting.

"I'm ready right now."

The effect those four words had on Sasori was palpable. A foreboding thrill fizzled in the air around him.

His core filled with arousal as his skin remembered the warmth of Deidara's being up against it.

Just a few moments of that recollection caused Sasori to cast caution to the wind once again. He pushed rational to the back of his mind for now.

Since that decision, he and Deidara had been together each night.

Now, in the cold light of day, Sasori was dealing with the consequences. His light footsteps carried him back to Deidara's bedroom. Sasori hovered, seeing a rustle in the covers.

"I'm going…" Sasori called out, voice muted.

A solitary blue eye opened; Deidara's long fringe obscured the rest of his face.
"Un?" He responded, voice husky from tiredness. "Ah—See you later, then."

Sasori gave Deidara a curt nod before backing out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Once safely away from the blond, Sasori's panicked heart shuddered. What had he gotten into here? Was this going to become even more of a regular occurrence than it already had? He didn't even like Deidara!

Or at least…he hadn't, the redhead admitted to himself ruefully.

Sasori exhaled, his breath jagged.

Ok, ok, calm down, he told himself.

Sasori resolved to try and straighten this all out the next time he saw Deidara. Next time, for sure.

...

A few days later

Rain lashed against the window pane. Hidan inhaled his coffee, the rich aroma filling his nostrils. Hidan had a particular hatred of putrid smells; the car park he had walked through at this mall was not pleasant. He saw no issue with treating himself to something delicious at the coffee house as a recompense for walking through it.

Still, he might finish his coffee before Deidara even got here. Deidara had to drive down further than Hidan to meet at this mall and was running late.

They were supposed to be getting the last of Hidan's wedding suit and buying pieces they needed for the stag do.

Recently, there was some distance from Deidara that Hidan picked up on, though he didn't understand why it resided between them.

Not for the first time that day, Hidan opened up their group chat. Strings of messages from Kakuzu, Sasori and himself…and still, just silence from Deidara, ever since Sasori sent that venue over a few days ago.

Hidan stretched out, muttering under his breath as he rolled around ideas in his brain. Deidara had been buzzing to his best man back when Hidan first asked him. However, now as the stag party was drawing imminently close, Deidara had seemed to back away from it all.

Did Deidara not like the place they were going to? If so, why was he being a little bitch and not saying anything or agreeing on something else with Sasori? It made no fucking sense.

Resolute, Hidan drained his cup. He would get answers from Deidara today if he had to pin the blond down and threaten to turn him into a human voodoo doll.

Eventually, Deidara rushed through the doorway, his long fringe matted and wet. Words tumbled from his lips as he shook off a sodden jacket.

"Man, I'm so sorry I'm late, I was delayed leaving the house, and then the motorway was backed up—argh, fucking hell!" Deidara snarled as he attempted to tug his jumper over his head and got it stuck. He began cursing, undoing the affronting button which kept his head from being free.

As Deidara fought with his clothing, Hidan watched his friend, unimpressed. Still, he was eager to start their day now Deidara was here.

"Yeah, yeah; whatever. Just sit your ass down." He decided to speak to Deidara here whilst they were alone, save for the background babble of other customers. The damp weather caused steam to fog on the glass storefront. As Deidara peeled off his soaked layers and sat down, Hidan bought them more coffee.

As Deidara sipped his drink, Hidan was now feeling pretty wired. "So….how's things been?" Hidan quipped, broaching what was on his mind.

Deidara shrugged. His eyes met the sloshing liquid in the cup rather than Hidan's eyes as Deidara answered. "Ah, you know, same old. Work's been hectic, un."

"Uh-huh, is it really?" Hidan responded dryly.

Deidara raised an eyebrow at Hidan, picking up on Hidan's tone. "Yes…I've been on a job nearer home this week though, which has been ideal, un."

Hidan sucked against his teeth before replying.

"You've been pretty distracted recently." Hidan phrased it as a statement rather than a question. "That just work?" Hidan picked up his cup and slurped the coffee, watching Deidara carefully.

Hidan clocked the rapidity of which Deidara's eyes widened. Ah ha! He was correct; something was bothering Deidara.

The blond brought his hand up to his mouth and scratched the side of his face as if stalling for time before having to move his mouth to answer.

"Uh, yeah - work mainly, un."

Hidan wasn't the brightest out of their friend group, yet the worst liar was definitely Deidara; he had never mastered a coherent poker face - the blond was too passionate and lively to not let it seep through his expressions.

"Riiiiiiight. Sure. You're still a fucking terrible liar, Deidara. Spill it." Hidan reached over and grabbed onto Deidara's arm. His tone, whilst still direct, was now aimed at building up his friend. "Just tell me what the fuck is the matter, and we'll sort it."

As Hidan leaned against the blond, he could see Deidara mentally attempting 5D chess. Eventually, Deidara shrugged his shoulder to one side, implying Hidan ought to let go. He hastily began speaking. "Alright, alright. It's nothing really, just-" Deidara broke off, considering his choice of words. "-a few things have happened between me and Sasori, that's all." Deidara spoke now in a lofty tone.

Hidan raised both eyebrows in surprise at Deidara's answer and was about to speak up when Deidara continued talking, "Anything you need for the wedding, I'll make it my priority now. I've let other noises distract me, un."

Hidan ran his fingers through silver hair and began answering in a more relaxed tone. "Yeah, well…don't worry about it. We've still got ages until the wedding. Are you all good for the stag do?" That was Hidan's priority; he didn't want it spoiled by squabbling between Sasori and Deidara.

Deidara nodded in response to Hidan's question. "Yeah, we got it under control. You know how anal Sasori is about planning."

"Pfft, no surprise there, I guess. Maybe me and Kakuzu were stupid for putting you guys together as best men." Hidan said nonchalantly, taking a glug of his coffee. He felt lively now that Deidara had talked straight with him.

At Hidan's statement, Deidara's nose wrinkled. "Err, um. Well. I wouldn't say that, un." Deidara said wryly.

Hidan's eyes widened sharply at Deidara's admission. He froze mid-sip and stared right back at Deidara, who was clutching his own cup and now looked sheepish.

Straight away, Hidan picked up on the signs in Deidara's face and the manner of his speaking.

He smashed his cup down on the table, the bang of porcelain making Deidara look his way with alarm.
"No fucking way. No fucking way!" Hidan called out, amazed. "You and Sasori?!" Hidan's tone was not angered; if anything, he sounded like a kid opening a much-desired present on their birthday.

By contrast, Deidara now looked upon Hidan with his features transfixed in horror. In that returned expression, Hidan got confirmation that his gut instinct was indeed right.

It all made sense; Deidara's coyness about something transpiring between him and Sasori earlier was clear as glass now.

"Oh-ho, it's written all over your face! You gotta tell me everything; I want to know every gory detail."

Deidara grabbed a chuck of his long, thick hair. He looked as if he wanted to drag it out of his skull at Hidan's words.

By contrast, Hidan was a picture of delight as he continued on a happy recital aimed at Deidara. "I can't even imagine what Sasori sounds like in bed, and now it's all I can picture. WAIT; don't tell me you guys fucked in our living room? That would be fucking hilarious, I gotta tell Kakuzu-"

"No, shit; HIDAN, shut it!" Deidara hissed, his body language stressed. He grabbed Hidan's wrist as if by holding his friend down, he could halt him from repeating it over and over to the bewildered other customers.

Blasé, Hidan snorted back at Deidara. "What?! You worried he's going to hear me?" Referring to Sasori. The immediate thought struck Hidan, who mimicked looking over Deidara's head for the redhead. "He's not here, is he - or is his dick so good you joined at the hip or something?"

Deidara looked like wanted to vomit. He increased pressure on Hidan's wrist. "Please, can you just shut up about it, un. You don't understand—"

"Fucking hell, relax." Hidan cut across whatever Deidara was about to say and shook off Deidara's grip. Hidan continued in a disparaging yet teasing tone. "What's got your panties twisted? Everyone fucks, even apparently you and Clifford-The-Big-Red-Cock."

Deidara bristled with the incredulous nature of their conversation as Hidan continued.

"Deidara, seriously - cool your tits about it. We all fuck someone we regret, eventually. It's a one-night stand; you'll get over it."

The blond looked indignant, his face reddening.

"Yeah, well, about that." Deidara began. He suddenly burst forth with a tumble of words, unable to contain himself from refuting Hidan's assumption. "That would be the case if it was just once, un," Deidara stated bluntly, his voice deadpan.

Hidan took a second to register his friend's revelation. When the realisation hit, Hidan's mouth opened wide as his face was locked in transfixed glee.

"You gotta be shitting me."

Deidara was rushed, frantic. He shook his head from side to side, the movements jerky. He didn't know what to do with his hands; Deidara settled on grabbing his coffee cup and draining it completely.

"You gotta tell me how it happened," Hidan demanded, enthralled. He sat forwards, his elbows now leant on the table and beaming at Deidara.

With his mouth full of coffee, Deidara's brows nudged together. He exuded stress. After swallowing, he admitted, "It's not really my place to say it all, un…" through gritted teeth. He paused for a moment before Deidara groaned and slumped forwards onto the table. He clunked his forehead against their tabletop. With his face mushed up against the wooden surface, Deidara sullenly muttered, "Fuck, I shouldn't have said anything at all."

Hidan shuffled his seat closer to Deidara's despondent frame."Well - you have now. So it's done." Hidan noted in a matter-of-fact manner.

Deidara lifted his head up slightly, angling his neck so he could see Hidan through his mane of hair. In this turtle shell of emotion, he directed another tidbit at his friend. "Sasori asked me to keep it all quiet, un. Not to tell anyone."

Hidan tapped against Deidara's head sharply. "Yeah? And what do you think?"
Deidara sat up slowly. Hidan could almost hear the gears turning in the blond's brain. Hidan was becoming breathless with anticipation. "Well?" He demanded shortly. Where he had been gleeful earlier, now he was a little annoyed that Deidara was acting so passive. This was not like his friend at all. Since when did Deidara keep himself bolted down for anyone?

When Deidara next spoke up, his frame was less rigid and his tone firm.

He locked eyes with Hidan and gave him an ultimatum, "I'll tell you how it happened if you make sure you don't say anything to anyone else; if Sasori finds out you know, he'll be angry. And that's definitely what we don't want before the stag do, un."

"Fine, yeah, whatever," Hidan responded, glad his friend seemed to have some of his spark back.

"I mean it, Hidan; you can't even tell Kakuzu, un." The blond was adamant.

Hidan threw his head back in exasperation. "Fuck's sake, yes, fine! Do you want me to hand over my firstborn or something?! He was eager for Deidara to stop labouring to the point and get on with it; Hidan would deal with the consequences of what he agreed to later.

As Deidara began embellishing the detail of what had happened with he and Sasori over the last week, Hidan couldn't help but think how potentially opportune the upcoming stag do was.
Deidara and Sasori had gravitated to each other already. They had done that, and much more, on their own. Hidan grinned deviously at an unwitting Deidara as he considered giving them a little push at the stag party.

Afterall, what was the worst thing that could happen?