Chapter I: Ten-Gallon Spellslinger
AN: Hey fan-fic-folks. So, there's no Blackwell Job this week, I'm in a bit of a writer's block with that story, so instead I'm just doing the Amazon effect and releasing a whole bunch of 'Pilots' for my other stories. This one is called Bump in the Night.
It's based on the wonderful world of Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files. Its an Urban Fantasy mystery novel. Basically, all the magical creatures of Sword and Sorcery in a modern cityscape. Harry Dresden, the main Protagonist, is a PI working in Chicago.
Technically, you don't really need to read the series in order all that much. There's a couple of overarching plot points in the later novels, but most of the earlier ones are pretty self-contained. I recommend starting from the first though, it helps you get into the characters and relationships far better.
I can't seem to post links, but if you're interested, type this into google and click the jim-butcher link. /books/dresden
Anyways. The plan for these is I'm gonna give 'em a week or two to sit around so I can see which ones, if any, you like. I'll probably end up continuing most of them, but if any stand out I'll prioritise those the most. If it turns out I've written utter unprocessed bovine waste, I'll probably just stick to the Blackwell Job and rework a couple of these to retry later. If not, I'll pick a few and stick them in the schedule on my profile. I know that's not really how its done, but I need structure or I will procrastinate till I die. So yeah, here's the first chapter of Bump in the Night
Thanks, Fan-fic-folks and as always, please review.
I sighed. Shit, that was a crappy bar. Who makes the drinks that fucking expensive? Thought it was supposed to be 'student night'...
I shrugged and rambled to myself as I wandered along the street. Fuckin' asshole bouncer. Kicking me out when I bitched about their shitty prices. Bastard.
Now, where the fuck did I park the truck? I scanned around.
I looked down a dark alleyway. There she is! Walked 'round the wrong fucking side of the bar. Ah well, I'm here now.
I rifled around in my pockets for my lighter and took the cig from behind my ear and headed down the alley towards my truck.
Shit, fucking shitty fucking lighter. I flicked the thing, but it wouldn't fucking light. I just spammed it a bunch of times until it fwooshed into life. Fucking finally.
I lit the cig and looked down at the battered and beaten old zippo. Heh. I'd had this thing for years.
Rachel had bought it for me from some shitty souvenir shop after our first date. It was cheap as shit, but she'd gotten this sappy little message engraved inside. It was the nicest thing anyone had done for me in years.
So, sure, the thing was shitty, but there's no way in hell I'm ever getting rid of it.
I smiled fondly at the memory. Then my face fell. Wasn't shit now, was it? Rachel was gone, Max was gone, Dad was gone. Mom married an asshole and I got stuck alone.
Alone…
There's no shittier word in any language.
I sighed, sagging against the wall.
There was a fucking roar behind me and a bunch of trash cans and shit clattered everywhere. I whirled to look.
Holy.
Shit.
It looked like a Two-legged, hairy Bear-Rhino with 6 human arms and a fucking scorpion tail. I blinked at it.
What the fuck? Am I high? Did Frank give me the hella strong shit by accident or something?
I looked down at my cig. Nope, not even a joint, just a regular cig. I looked back up at the thing, standing at the other end of the alley, growling at me.
Shitshitshitshitshit, that thing is fucking real?
I started to back up down the alley, being sure to avoid eye contact. Pretty sure Attenborough said to avoid eye contact with bears. Something about it being a challenge or some shit like that, I dunno. Besides, it's a Rhino and a Scorpion as well, who fucking knows what that thing does? Might as well trust the living God that is David Attenborough here.
Shit, maybe he ain't so divine.
As soon as I started to back up, the thing charged, roaring and drooling at me like the ravenous wolf-bear-rhino-thing it was.
I'm not ashamed to say I turned and fucking ran for it. I dare you to fucking do differently. I didn't even chance a look back. Always remember, the first rule of running away, never look back, it just slows you down.
I ran and ran, until something huge hit me in the back, sending a crack of pain up my spine and fucking launching me down the alley.
I put out my hands to stop my fall and was hella shocked to find them locking around a guy's ankles when I landed.
I looked up into the face of this little old Asian guy. He had little round glasses and everything. I thwacked his thigh. "Fucking run! There's a thing fucking after me!"
He didn't even look at me, just stared down the alley. "Here, hold these. Do not break them."
He shoved his glasses at me. I took them, I mean, what the shit else was I supposed to do?
He stepped over me towards the thing. Holy crap, does he not believe me? Shit, he's gonna get ripped to itty bitty bits or stomped or jabbed to death and it'll be all my fault again!
I was about to pull myself up so I could stop him, when someone saved me the trouble, rolling me over to face back down the alley. I couldn't see whoever the fucker was, they were right behind me. "Stay still." They hissed in my ear.
The voice was small and quiet. The part of my brain that wasn't gibbering at the thing down the alley thought it was kinda familiar, too.
"Oh god, look at her side." I blinked. Was the voice talking about me? I looked down.
Wow. That's a lot of blood.
Is that all mine?
I looked up blearily at the voice. "Hey there."
There was a shock of bubblegum pink hair above a freckled little face smiling down at me. A hella familiar freckled little face. "Holy shit. Max?"
Max dyed her hair? Seriously? Huh. Hella epic, first mate.
It might've been the hella bloodloss, but she didn't seem all that surprised to see me.
"Hey Chlo. You've gotta stay as still as you can, ok? You've got…"
She pushed down on my chest and I… "AAAAH!"
Shit! That fucking hurt!
"Two, maybe three broken ribs. I can help if you just stay still."
She started to move her hands around my chest. The pain started to lessen as she moved around. I started to feel hella good. Like, weirdly good.
Pretty fucking sure she copped a feel at one point though. She pulled her hands away and all the pain was gone.
"That should be better. You feeling ok?"
I nodded, not really listening and slurred out. "Yyyeeeaaahhhh…"
I vaguely hear a guy laugh from off behind me. "I think you overdid it, kid."
Max looks at me, grinning and melting under her, then shrugs sheepishly off behind her. "You might be right…"
I flick back over to the bear-scorpion thing. I figure if I'm not scared, I might as well get a better look at it.
I blinked, watching the flash of steel from the three guys standing around the bear thing. Three? There was only one before!
There was the little Asian Guy dancing around in front of it, a big black dude hacking away behind it and this tall white dude in full fucking metal armour booming away at it at the side. Something about giving them money?
I started laughing to myself. These guys were the most over-the-top repo guys ever! Max was hella chattering away at the dude behind her. I couldn't really make out what she was saying any more, everything was just getting… foggy.
The bear-thing was screaming and flailing around at them, but none of them seemed to get hit. It was pretty impressive.
The last thing I saw was the three guys swords lighting up and the bear thing howling and running away. Then, I passed out.
I blinked awake. Where the fuck am I? What happened? Was that shit real?
Ok. That's definitely not my ceiling. Did I hook up with someone and just dream that entire alleyway thing up?
I sighed. Your unconscious is all kinds of fucked up, Price…
I subtly glanced around the room, trying to work out where the fuck I was.
Ok, so, I'm on a morgue table. Unless I hooked up with a dead chick, it probably wasn't a dream.
I tried to peer around the room again, looking for Max, or the other dude, or even the three sword guys. I'd take any of them at this point, just so I could find out what the fuck was going on.
I saw Max talking to some hella tall guy with dark hair in a long leather coat, I think it was a duster, and a fucking cowboy hat. The guy looked like a fucking refugee from the set of El Dorado or some spaghetti western. Max was pretty boringly dressed compared to that dude, just a grey hoodie, white top and jeans. I was still kinda half freaked out about, half loving her new hair though. My Max would never have done something like that. Bright as fuck hair-dye was more my thing. I guess she really had changed in the last 5 years. Then again, it's not like I wasn't different from how I was back then either.
The big guy sighed. "Look, Max, I know she's your friend, but there are rules. As idiotic as I think they are, they're there for a reason."
Max was stomping her foot. "But!" Back when I knew her Max never could be properly angry. She was always too fucking adorable for that. Max seemed… actually kinda pissed now. More like me.
He waved a hand. "No buts. You remember what happened last time you broke one of the Laws? That was what got us into this." He waved a hand between the two of them. "Situation in the first place."
Situation? What situation?
Max fumed. "I… I… Damnit." She sighed, looking down at the floor. "You're right. I'm sorry, Boss."
He smirked and ruffled her hair. "It's okay, Grasshopper. You'll learn better next time."
Grasshopper? Huh?
He finally noticed me watching and nodded. "She's awake. I'll let you tell her. Meet me outside when you're done. You're doing the right thing, Grasshopper."
He walked out, nodding to a little wiry-haired guy in medical scrubs sitting at a desk off to the side.
Max took a deep breath, then walked over to me.
"Look, Chloe…"
I scoffed. "I know. I heard you talking to Tall, Dark and Brooding over there. You're leaving me behind. Again!"
She glared. "Yes. This life is dangerous. There are rules. I can't tell you anything."
She sighed, then straightened up, looking me directly in the eye. "So, here's the deal. You go home, and you forget about this. Don't tell anyone about any of it. Seriously. If you do, they'll disappear too."
"You bitch!" I spat.
Max smiled, sadly. "I know. I'm sorry, Chloe. It was nice seeing you again. The doc will let you out when you wanna leave."
And with that, the bitch turned around and walked outta my life. Again!
As soon as the door swung shut, I hopped up, grabbed my jacket and ran for the door.
I threw open the door and looked around for Max. Nothing. Just more corridor. Where the hell did she go?
Never mind that. "Where the fuck am I?"
I heard a weary voice call out from behind me. "Left, two rights and left again. Tell Jerry on the door that you're a friend of Doctor Marsh, he'll let you out."
Who…?
Oh yeah, the Doc. I slunk back in. The guy was sat a desk, doing paperwork. Man, I'm glad I don't have a job where I have to do shit like paperwork. That would hella suck.
"Hey Doc. Uh, thanks for fixing me up, I guess?"
He smirked and raised an eyebrow, peering over his glasses at me like an owl. "You guess? So, you're not sure if Max and Dresden should've left you out there?"
I rolled my eyes. "Nah, I'm sure. Thanks, Doc."
He nodded. "Good. No point in my patching you up if you aren't going to make the best of it. You remember the way out?"
"Left, two rights, left, Jerry, right?"
He gave me a watery little smile. "Very good. Now, if you wouldn't mind? I've a lot of this still to do."
I nodded. "Uh, yeah. Ok. Bye."
I headed out, breezing past 'Jerry' with a wave. I stopped when I saw the sign above the door.
King County Morgue
Shit. They took me to Seattle?!
Mom's gonna kill me...
I stormed in, slamming the door behind me. "Fucking BITCH!"
"Language! And wouldya stop shouting, Chloe? Where have you been?"
I sighed. No sense bringing Mom into this fucking weird-ass shit. "Just out. Some bitch pissed me off. Don't worry about it."
We bickered back and forth for a while. I'll save you the deets, it was just the same fucking argument we'd had since Dad died. Hella boring. When we finished, Joyce just sighed. "Ok. As long as you're ok, hun. Do you want any food? There's leftovers in the fridge."
I shrugged. "Nah. I'm kinda tired. Just gonna hit the sack."
Mom smiled. "Alright. Sweet dreams, kid. Night."
I headed upstairs, closing my door behind me.
I took off my shoes and changed into my PJs.
Fuck it.
I rolled into bed.
Fuck her.
I closed my eyes.
Fuck Everything.
I bolted awake. "Max!"
I close my eyes and ran my hand across my face and tried to slow my fucking heartbeat down. Crap, I really fucking hate bad dreams.
I heard a thud and a muffled "Ow…" and my eyes shot open.
There was a loud pop, like one of those air pipe things they used to move stuff around in shops, then Max just… appeared in the middle of my room. Like, first she wasn't there, then she fucking was!
As I gaped at her, lying there on the floor, she looked up at me sheepishly and rubbed her ankle. "Uh, Hi, I guess?"
