Chapter 27: What am I Supposed to Do?
Eren finished putting in a fresh load into his washing machine and followed the steps he normally did when turning it on. After Ai showed him generally how it works, he was able to fully understand how to use it and how to clean his blood stained clothes.
Not that he fully knew here the water came from or where it was going, but that was something that confused him about Marley as well, so not a huge shock to him.
It had been a day since Aqua was discharged from the hospital and Eren needed some alone time from the happy family to think about his options. He needed to separate himself from Ai and the children so he could come up with a course of action to deal with the kidnapped Kaguya situation.
His instincts told him the same thing as before. Damn the consequences and fight. It doesn't matter how cruel the world is or what will happen after the fight. Just keep moving forward, no matter what. It's a mantra that kept him alive and fed in this new world.
But now, things were different. He got too far and too deep into the criminal element to leave now. Especially now that Ai and her children were in danger. He wondered why he should care. She's just another mother, like every other person in the world. What makes her special over other women or even people around him?
But for some reason, he can't let any harm fall to her. He had to protect her, even if he didn't fully think about why it was so important. Eren has always been driven by his emotions and instincts. So, he was aware that he didn't need a logical reason to protect Ai, only that his instincts told him that he had to.
But if he tried to save Kaguya, and ruin Yoshida's plan to use her as insurance, then at best he would pull protection away from Ai and leave her to be attacked by the Nakano-Kai. Even if Eren tried to leave the Yakuza, he'd never be able to keep Ai safe at all times, not without revealing who he is in this world.
And that was a thought that terrified him. He debated about how much he should reveal, but all he could imagine was her face contorted into fear or anger. It scared him. Scared him to imagine her looking at him in any other way that wasn't a gentle smile. He'd prefer anger or hatred from her over fear. That was the worst face he could imagine.
So, he kept it hidden from her, even though she unknowingly had people who actively want to kill her because of him. He caused this, all of this. His rash decisions are what put her life in danger and now he was paying for it.
Eren felt his pocket vibrate from his phone. He took it out and saw there was a letter from Ai.
It was a small little drawing, a moveable drawing, that showed a weird character of an animal that Eren couldn't identify. It was eating something and looked happy.
Since Eren couldn't write, Ai would send these little moving pictures instead of written letters. This particular one was asking him to come next door for breakfast.
Eren opened the panel that showed the different moving pictures and found one that would send a reply. He sent one that was skinny and sad looking, looking like it was hungry, then sent one of a character running, implying that he is hungry and will come over soon.
Ai sent back a reply, which was a character making a heart with its hands and had heart shaped eyes.
Communicating in this world was odd, though Eren found it somewhat nice. He loved sending these weird little letters to Ai through their moveable phones. It was unique, even by this world's standards, to communicate entirely through these little moving images.
Eren put his shoes on and went next door. He made sure to lock his own door and went over to Ai's door. She unlocked it for him, and with a small and gentle knock, Eren opened the door.
"Eren-San!" Ruby ran up to Eren and slammed into his leg.
Eren was surprised, unsure of why the little girl just ran over to him to hug his leg. She looked up at him and gave him a big smile, causing Eren to freeze. He didn't know what he was supposed to do.
"Uh... hi Ruby." He greeted.
"Mama say yew comed overu. Glad to see yew." She smiled even more.
"Ok, sure." he shrugged.
Ai smiled as she was getting the plates of food ready. Ruby had taken even more of a liking to Eren since he saved Ai a second time. She ran over to him and greeted him as if he was her father who came back from work. It filled Ai's heart with a sense of-
Ai shook her head, trying to stop that line of thought. Eren is not their father, he is just a guest. That's all. No way they would ever be a thing, because... because...
Well, she couldn't think of a reason, but she knew there was one. Probably work related. Yea, there had to be a work related reason.
"Comu, got yew seats." Ruby said as she grabbed Eren's hand and forced him to follow her.
"Ruby-Chan, be polite." Ai said.
"Sorry mama." Ruby said.
Eren sat down on the table as Ai handed out the plates. It was an American styled breakfast with eggs and bacon. She liked to add some variety and decided to try something new today.
"How is it?" Ai asked.
"Good." Eren said, using his fork to eat.
Ai bought some western eating utensils to help Eren out when he came over, since his default use for chopsticks was to simply stab it into the food. He had a lot better practice using a fork and knife over chopsticks, so it was perfect for him to use.
The little family Eren was in right now reminded him of his own. His mother who would prepare the meals, with himself and Mikasa eating at the table. It was a strange dynamic that made Eren feel odd.
Eren felt like he was both a stranger in this dynamic, and yet, a welcomed member of the family. It was strange to be in this situation. He never really sat down with a family to eat or relax with since his own was taken away the day the walls fell.
Ai was an amazing mother. She was kind, considerate, and doted on her children. It was a happy family that was almost ruined twice now.
The first time, Eren was not responsible at all. That stalker would have attacked Ai regardless of if he was there or not. So, he didn't really feel bad about that situation since he was the one to prevent it.
However, the second time Ai almost died was because of him. His reckless behavior is what put a target on her back and made a man who wanted to fight him go after her. She's a pawn who's only purpose was to emotionally manipulate Eren. Even Yoshida will use her against him.
Eren didn't really consider how his actions would affect her. For the past few years, everyone associated with Eren was either a Soldier or an enemy. Whether it was Mikasa, Armin, Jean, or even Sasha, everyone could fight and defend themselves. Especially Mikasa, though she was a different case with her Ackerman blood.
Ai though, wasn't a Soldier. She was a civilian. An innocent mother who, while physically fit from all her dancing, couldn't hope to defend herself against anyone who intended to do her harm. She had no training in fighting, no physical strength, and no experience in protecting herself. Especially since she had two four-year-old children to look after.
"Is something on your mind?" Ai asked as she realized that Eren was silent.
What can he say? He can't really be honest with her or seek her advice. She couldn't ever know the truth, but Eren needed help. He needed guidance. In this world, his instincts have done nothing but get him into more trouble.
"I guess, there's just been an issue at work lately." He said as vague as possible.
"What's wrong?" Ai asked.
Eren wondered if he should seek her advice, though he'd need to choose his words carefully. Ai had a habit of detecting when he lied, so he couldn't outright say a lie to her. She knew him too well.
"There's an issue at work where a fellow employee is doing something illegal." He said.
"Really?" Ai asked. "Did you report it to your boss?"
Ai sensed that Eren wasn't being entirely honest, but she could understand since it's a personal issue and if it's illegal, Eren would be worried about being too honest. She did notice that he was honest, if being a little vague.
"I'm wondering how to go about it." Eren said.
"What's he doing?" Ai asked.
"He's hurting someone." Eren said vaguely.
"Like abuse?" Ai asked.
"Yea." Eren said, letting Ai come to her own conclusions. "I'm wondering if I should get involved."
"Of course, if he's doing illegal things. You should report it to your boss or the police." Ai said.
"If I do that, I'll lose my job." Eren said.
"Why?" Ai asked.
"The employee is higher in the chain than I am, so it'll be a negative stain on me." Eren said, staying vague.
"So?" Ai asked. "Won't that Russian guy help you?" Ai asked, referring to Eren's "Boss" Sergei.
"Sergei can't help me here." Eren said. "The boss of the company is over Sergei."
"I see." Ai said.
It was a huge issue. In Japan, a persons work history was everything. If you got fired from a job on bad terms, the odds of finding more work are significantly reduced. If Eren was fired, there's a chance he would struggle to find more work.
"Why not leave on your own terms?" Ai asked. "I'm sure that you can leave, find more work, and report it from the outside."
"I can't do that either." Eren said. "This is the only job I could find in this country."
Eren focused on the work aspect, since he didn't want to tell Ai about how she was in danger. It was true, Eren was worried about finding work if he left the Yakuza, but it was lower on his priorities.
"I'm sure there's other work." Ai said.
"I tried." Eren said. "No one would hire me."
"Why?" Ai asked.
"Because, I don't have any skills. Nothing that suits a normal life." Eren said.
Ai looked at him sadly. Being from a rural area with little to know access to modern technology would make it difficult for Eren to pursue a career.
"There's nothing you can do?" Ai asked.
"My only two skills are fighting and farming." Eren said. "And the farming here is completely unknown to me. I've never worked with these lands or crops. Not only that, but I've also spent so long fighting that I don't even know how to live a normal life."
Spent so long fighting? Eren was nineteen, same age as her. She knew next to nothing about Russia, but surely they recruited people, even conscripts, at eighteen.
"Didn't you do anything before you joined the Army?" Ai asked.
"I joined when I was twelve Ai." Eren said, causing her to gasp. "Before that, I spent two years working the fields of a barren landscape."
Twelve? Eren joined a military when he was twelve?
"You joined at twelve?" Ai asked.
"Yea, the Cadet Corp. We spent three years training, before we went to our first battle." He shrugged.
Three years after twelve... Eren was fifteen. Fifteen...
"Y-you were a child soldier...?" She said in complete surprise.
"Child soldier?" There was that word again.
Ai dropped her chopsticks and covered her mouth. Eren was a child soldier. He fought in a battle at the age of fifteen but trained since the age of twelve. She knew he killed people in anger, she saw it first hand with Ryosuke. She knew he had to have been on the frontlines of some kind of battlefield, but she assumed that was a year ago when he was eighteen.
But Eren fought in a war when he was a child. He saw people die and likely was nearly killed himself. He didn't even seem affected by it, like it was a normal thing that every child goes through.
"Y-your first battle..." Ai began. "D-did you have to fight?"
"Yea, I did." Eren said.
"What happened?" She asked, though remembered how insensitive the question was. "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me if-"
"The enemy invaded us." Eren said. "We were cleaning the cannons when they did. It was sudden and quick, the same way it was five years before, when my mother died." He said.
"I see..." Ai said, allowing him to continue.
"They broke through the lines, and the 104th Cadets, that's us, were ordered to participate in the defense. It was during our graduation from training, so we were all fresh recruits. I was a part of Wagner Squad, and we were the support to the Vanguard. When we were given the order to charge, we did, knowing that the Vanguard was wiped out."
"I don't remember most of the fighting to be honest. Things... happened." Eren closed his eyes, remembering that this was when he first learned to shift. "Most of my training class was wiped out. Very few survived the initial engagement."
"Oh my..." Ai said sadly. "How many people were in you class?" Ai asked.
"Over a hundred." Eren said.
Ai truly couldn't imagine. Ai and Eren both ironically started their careers at the same time, around twelve-years-old. She may not have lived a glamourous life, but Ai lived well when she was taken care of President Saitou. When she turned fifteen, she started working for a movie company that would eventually lead to her meeting Hikaru and getting pregnant.
While not rich, Ai loved every moment of the past five years, between her pregnancy, the kind doctors who cared for her, and of course raising her children, Ai felt nothing but happiness and joy. Even with the downsides.
Eren never experienced that though. From day one he was a Soldier. While she was getting ready to give birth and start a new chapter in her life, he was in a trench, fighting for his life in a war he had no reason to be in. While she lived in a nice apartment, surrounded by the laughs of her children, he was cold and exposed to the elements.
All this, as a child.
"I'm so sorry Eren." Ai said, tears threatening to leak from her eyes.
"After that, I joined the Scouts." Eren said.
"What happened during your time there?" Ai asked.
"The Scouts had a high mortality rate." Eren said. "Most of my comrades in the Scouts died during the war. Only a handful, most from the 104th Corp, survived."
"You said you were conscripted by Russia before." Ai said.
"A year ago, I joined my enemy." Eren said. "I fought for their banner, fought their enemies, and posed as a member of their military."
"And you got out?" Ai asked.
"My service was up." Eren said, remembering the end of the battle of Fort Slava. "So, I was discharged, injured and nowhere to go. Most of us were."
"So, you came to Japan?" Ai asked.
"Yea." Eren said. "Sergei helped me to get situated, but there wasn't much that I could do for finding work."
It all started to make sense to Ai. Based on how she interpreted what he said, she assumed that he must have very recently left the army. Probably a few days or weeks before arriving to Japan, which means less than a month ago, Eren was in combat. He never had the chance to really rest or recover mentally from those events.
Plus, she wasn't helping him much since she keeps getting into danger and he would have to revert to that side of him to protect her. Ai felt bad and felt like she was helping to make his issues worse. She knew it was an illogical feeling, but she can't change how she feels.
But that also means that Eren hasn't had a chance to learn a new skill in order to work outside of the army. He was completely stuck doing whatever his current bosses wanted since he has no other option. And if he gets on the wrong side of his current company and get fired, most companies in Japan won't take him since that would be a black mark on his career.
Ai could see that Eren was a good person. He wasn't a monster or criminal, so he was greatly affected by seeing this injustice by his coworker but doesn't want to lose what little life he has built so far.
"So, I don't know what I should do." He looked down, his eyebrows furrowed and contemplating his next choice.
"I think you should do the right thing." Ai said with a naive smile.
"Really?" Eren asked.
"Yea." She said. "I think you're a really good person Eren."
"I don't know..." Eren trailed off.
"But you are." Ai said. "You are kind, considerate, and you've saved me two times now. You've helped me when Aqua went missing, comforted me when I felt scared, and even indulged Ruby-Chan when she wanted to play."
Ruby looked at Ai when she heard her name, unable to follow the conversation with how fast they were talking.
"I don't know if I am a good person." Eren said.
"I think you are." Ai said with a warm and gentle smile. "I understand Soldiers can have difficult experiences. But it was something forced on you. And I know you killed, but you only ever killed bad people or people who wanted to hurt you. You never hurt anyone innocent because you're a good person."
How naive of her. She still thought Eren was a good person. She was right in that Eren's hand was forced into doing what he did. It may have been a choice that resulted in more blood, but Eren had no choice in what he did. The Rumbling had to happen, or else his home and his friends would die.
That doesn't change the fact that Eren was a monster. Quite possibly the worse kind of human trash to ever exist. If Ai even learned a fraction of what he did, she'd have a very different thing to say about that.
"So, I think you should do something. Even if something bad does happen. Because I don't think you should compromise who you are." She continued.
"Who I am Ai, is someone who pushed forwards and doesn't care for consequences. I got myself in this mess, made choice that led to this, and did stupid things." He said.
"I think we all do stupid things." Ai said. "And we sometimes don't think about our consequences. But I think that instead of running from our consequences or ignoring it, we should face it when we do the right thing. Because I believe that we should all strive to do the right thing and set an example for our children. Even if the consequences are hard."
"Really?" Eren thought to himself.
"The people who know my situation always ask me, why do I stay as an idol when I have children. I always tell people that I like being an idol, which is partially true. But the main reason, is that when my children are older, I want them to pursue what they want no matter how hard it is. I want them to look on my past and see that no matter how hard, or how dangerous the consequences are, I never gave up my dream of being a famous idol. Because I believe we should accept the consequences and do what's right to leave a good example for our children."
Eren wondered if her opinion would change if she knew the real consequences of what he knew he should do, that being that Ai and her children would be in danger if he chose to save Kaguya.
Still, he couldn't deny that she was passionate about that belief. No matter what, his choice was the same thing, even in this world. No matter what happens, someone innocent will get hurt. The only difference is that this is a dilemma that he caused because of his rash actions.
Eren looked at Ai's smiling face and knew that if she ever learned that he chose not to save Kaguya, she'd look at him with anger and hatred. She'd hate him for not saving an innocent girl.
Eren knew what he needed to do. He knew that he needed to save Kaguya, even if at great risk to himself and Ai. He's already made this mistake, but he wondered if he should just follow her naive advice. Doing the right thing and accepting the consequences.
For Eren though, accepting the consequences would mean protecting Ai from the fallout. He knew he could, and he dared Yoshida to try to lay a hand on her. He'd kill Yoshida if he ever even thought of touching Ai or her children. He dared the bastard.
So, he'd move forward, knowing the consequences, and prepared to accept them when the time came. If he had to bring the entire Yakuza down to protect her, he would.
No more half baked plans. No more running into combat without a plan. He'd consider every option and only act when he was sure he had a plan. No more emotional outbursts. Eren had to change. He had to be different. He had to be better, for no other reason than to keep Ai safe.
Eren walked up to the street corner where Sergei was waiting for him. Eren called Sergei to give him a ride since Yoshida wanted to speak with him. He needed to figure out his current situation. Eren ignored Sergei's warning up till now, and now he's getting completely overwhelmed.
"I warned you about being reckless and going too deep." Sergei said as Eren got into the car.
"I'm not in the mood for it Sergei." Eren said.
"So, what do you need?" He asked as he drove away.
"Before you take me to Yoshida, I need some help." He said.
"Sure, I'll help you." He said. "Honestly, being the man who got Akuma No Ko into the scene is going very well for my businesses, so I'll help you out for free. Think of it as your reward."
"I need to find the Shinomiya girl." He said.
"The girl that was kidnapped?" Sergei asked.
"Yes, Yoshida took her." Eren said.
"So? Doesn't he pay your bills and provide protection for single mom?" He asked.
"You don't see an issue with a teenage girl being put in human trafficking?" Eren asked.
"If I cared about every girl as trafficked, I'd either be dead or poor." Sergei said. "The thing you have to learn is when you turn a blind eye and when to stay low. If you do this, how long until Yoshida decides to recuperate the money and resources by kidnapping and selling Ai?"
"I won't let him." Eren said.
"Have you learned nothing?" Sergei asked. "You're in this position because you decide to go your own way while damning the consequences. Not realizing that you're not the only one who pays. Do you think Yoshida won't sell the kids as well?"
"So, I do nothing and let Kaguya suffer?" Eren asked.
"There are starving orphans and kidnapped people all over the place." Sergei said. "You think you're going to save everyone who Yoshida traffics? How about some of the girls at the red light district? Do you know a lot of them are forced or compelled to sell their bodies? Do you intend to save every girl he has?"
Eren gritted his teeth, unsure of what to say. Sergei had a point. Eren knew full well the kind of men Yoshida and the people he employs were. He already turned a blind eye to human trafficking, what's one more time. It's not like he even knew Kaguya.
"I refuse to leave the girl." Eren said.
Despite what's happened here and the past four years, Eren has never fundamentally changed. He's the same person he's been since the day he saved Mikasa from those kidnappers in the cabin. Keep moving forward and damn the consequences.
"Damn kid." Sergei shook his head. "I won't be labeled responsible for what happens."
"Yoshida won't be able to tie it to me." Eren said.
"You're planning to sneak in? Is that big plan?" Sergei asked.
"In a way, sure." Eren said. "Once I find out where she is."
"Oh, and how do you plan to do that?" Sergei asked. "Talk to the guards with your fluent Japanese, blend in with your round eyes and western face? Maybe, you can just lie and say you're transporting her."
"I'll find a way to get in unnoticed." Eren said.
"That is terrible idea." Sergei said. "If you're discovered, even if you die, he might sell Ai and children just as revenge against you. Even beyond the grave. And do you think that police will care about a missing idol when Shinomiya girl is missing?"
"I'm doing this Sergei, what I need from you is information on where Kaguya is." Eren said.
"Right, because Sergei is a fucking rat, right?" Sergei asked. "If I go rat on clients, I lose business."
"I won't get discovered." Eren said.
"Do what you will kid." Sergei said. "You've ignored everything I've said until now, so might as well do it again."
"I won't be reckless this time." Eren said. "I need a plan on how I'm going to do it. And I know you are better than me when it comes to how these organizations work. So, I need help."
"What do you intend?" Sergei asked.
"Right now, Yoshida intends to keep Kaguya until after the Ginza attack." Eren said. "However, I know that the Nakano-Kai will survive."
"How will they possibly survive?" Sergei asked. "After what you said about bosses last words, they are expecting Yoshida. But there's nothing they can do. The Nakano-Kai barely numbers in the low hundreds and only half of them are in Tokyo. Yoshida has thousands under his pay. There's no way they can win, even if they know the attack is coming."
"They're a cornered animal Sergei, nothing is more dangerous." Eren went against much greater odds before. "For now, we'll play it safe. We'll only act to save Kaguya if the Nakano-Kai are not defeated at Ginza, since Yoshida will keep her. Until then, we plan and figure out where she is and how to save her."
"We, again?" Sergei asked.
"Yes, we." Eren retorted. "You're in this too Sergei."
"What makes you think I'll risk business?" Sergei asked.
"Because you're going to help me or watch me die. Which considering how much good business I bring in, is worth a little under the table deals." Eren smiled.
"You have point." Sergei snickered. "Seems I taught you well enough. Fine, I'll help but I won't get involved. Actual rescue is you and you alone."
"I already have someone I know can help." Eren said.
"If he's Yakuza, no chance. No one will cross Yoshida." Sergei said.
"He's not Yakuza, actually he's someone I met who's close to Kaguya." Eren said.
"Who?" Sergei asked.
"Ai talked about a boy, Miyuki, who is in love with Kaguya." Eren said. "Not only can he sneak in and open doors, literally, but he can act as an informant where I can't."
"He has motivation, but how do you know this could work?" Eren said. "If he's inlove, I'd assume he's some rich kid."
"A kid who's at the best place of learning in the country. He's smart and resourceful, since apparently he's actually poor and got in because of his intelligence." Eren said, remembering what Ai told him.
"How do you intend to convince him to help and not rat you to police." Sergei asked.
"No clue." Eren said. "But that's one of the things I need you for Sergei. I need you to figure out how to convince him. I don't know nearly enough about this country to come up with a good enough lie or threat. So, you'll handle that. Plus, I need you to get an audience with him."
"We're saving a girl by kidnapping a boy?" Sergei asked.
"That's the bare bones so far, but we'll have a plan that we can execute if Yoshida keeps her after Ginza." Eren said.
"You do know you run the risk of someone who speaks with Ai learning you're the Akuma No Ko, right?" Sergei asked.
"I know the risk Sergei." Eren said. "And if that's the consequence for this, I'll accept it."
"At least you're being less dumb." Sergei said. "Ok, we'll work towards that. But I only provide plan and resources. I refuse to be caught helping you."
"It's all I need Sergei." Eren said.
Eren felt... better. He felt like there was a weight off his chest and that he was doing something good for a change. He knew the risk, but he wasn't going to let some innocent girl suffer. Eren was tired of letting innocent people suffer. He was tired of being a devil to people.
For once in his life, Eren would like to not be feared as a devil.
Now we finally get some character development for Eren. It is what I would consider a natural progression of his character. Almost a regression in a way, since AoT made him become very much a villain and this is going back to him wanting to be better. Plus, Ai had an effect on him as well.
At least he's actually planning now, instead of going in guns blazing lol. Even in Season 4 he'd go in like a man without a plan lol.
Plus, Ai understands him a little more and who he is, even if it's only mostly true. I wonder how she'll react when (Yea, not if) she finds out that he's working for the mob lol.
BTW, finished the John Wick series. Loved it lol.
Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed.
