I've recently come across a few people/downtonians whose opinion of Mr Carson (him being a snob/arse, being the cause of Mr Barrow's suicide, not understanding what the very kind Mrs Hughes sees in him, etc.) inspired me to explore this further and write this little very silly one shot. Before you start reading the story, read the trigger warning the angst is real and religious references are certainly NOT meant to offend anyone!

If you do decide to read it - I'd love to hear your opinion (in the review/comment section) of the story and the general opinion of Mr Carson's nature and what Mrs Hughes sees in him…

It's set in late 1940s btw….


WAS IT A DREAM?

Elsie started slowly opening her eyes. The intensity and amount of light trying to pierce through her eyelids were unbearable.

In the end, she wasn't as shocked as one would expect when she fully took in her surroundings. Maybe it was because she thought it was a dream or maybe it was because she knew she was very old, and that this day would have to come eventually.

"Elsie Carson?" She heard a man's echoing voice. At first, she didn't realise where it was coming from, but there was a ray of light showing her the way and so she followed it. She was holding her long nightgown up, her bare feet landing softly onto an unknown surface covered with clouds.

"Elsie Carson?" Said the man again once she appeared in front of him.

"Am I dead, Peter?" She recognised him immediately.

"Funnily enough, no. You are not dead Elsie." Peter sniggered under his beard.

Elsie just narrowed her eyes, inhaling deeply, readying herself for whatever is to come.

"Good news for you, you are only here for a reference so to speak."

"What do you mean?"

"It's your husband who's dead."

Elsie cried out loud , trying to cover her crooked expression and wide-open mouth with her palm.

"How is that good news?" She said once she pulled herself together again.

"Well, perhaps not the best way to put it." Peter ran his hand through his beard apologetically. "Good news is I think your reaction might be taken as a good sign-"

"Could you stop referring to things as good news-" Elsie stopped herself and added "-please," playing with her long braided grey hair.

"I'm sorry, I won't say it again." He offered her a sympathetic smile.

"What am I here for then?"

"To vouch for him."

"Ok." She held her chest up high.

"The boss isn't necessarily sure if he should let him in here." Peter was studying his nails.

"Why ever not?"

"Let's say your husband wasn't always a kind man."

"But he was." She argued, her fists clutched together.

"Are you sure?" Peter raised his eyebrows. "Because according to our records, Charles Carson was a bit of a bully."

"He might have made some mistakes in the past, but at heart he is a very good man." She understood her assignment well and was eager to fight for him.

"Was a very good man." Peter corrected her and then jumped slightly upon seeing fire growing behind her teary eyes. She could run the whole of hell, he thought, they'd love her down there.

"Well you just said he wasn't." She snapped back at him.

"I don't think you getting clever with me will necessarily help your husband, Elsie." Peter warned her steadily.

"Mr Carson was sometimes acting out due to the pressures of his job." She decided to continue calmly.

"Is that an excuse, when he drove a man into committing suicide?"

Elsie swallowed loudly. "I don't think that this situation is as black and white as you say" She bit her lips. "Mr Barrow always has been the author of his own misfortunes. Not everyone understood his nature, but I think Charlie did understand, as much as a man of his time could. When it came to his constructed dismissal, there was pressure from outside or rather upstairs and I know Charlie regretted it deeply afterwards."

"Did he?"

"He did, he was upset for weeks."

"Alright."

"You're not going to level with me?" Elsie asked carefully.

"Not necessarily, we just want to hear what you've got to say, whether it's enough or not is another question. We already heard his poor arguments, and that's why he had to call you in."

"He called me in?" Elsie stepped closer to Peter as if she was hoping to catch a glimpse of her husband behind the gate.

Saint Peter looked behind his shoulder and back at her. "He's not here now." He shuddered at seeing the disappointment in her eyes, he got up and walked around a bit. "But we asked him for suggestions. Suggestions of people that see him for who he really is. When he put you forward, God wasn't best pleased. There is a reason why people say 'love is blind' he never lets spouses and lovers vouch for people, they can never stay objective."

"Then why am I here?" Elsie was blinking fast in confusion.

"I insisted." Peter admitted as he was sitting back down in his highchair.

"You did?"

"I like you. I like you a lot because you remind me of me."

"Why." Elsie was baffled.

"Your keys for one." He pointed his finger toward her hip.

Elsie suddenly felt her keys heaving her down, dangling by her thigh. She looked down only to realise she was wearing her housekeeper outfit out of the blue (literally).

"You are very fair, and you guard the house, and most importantly people, the same way I do with Heaven."

"I see." Elsie didn't know how to take such a compliment.

"So I wanted to see you, see how you fight for your sinful man."

"Sinful, is that what you call him up here?" Elsie had to laugh sarcastically.

"We do now, but that's why you're here, to prove us wrong."

"Try me."

"What about Mr Molesley then? The poor man only needed a job, a few shillings to survive… Yet your husband was adamant in not hiring him."

"He hired him in the end."

"Then bullied him for wanting to be the first footman, then bullied him some more for wanting to change his career…" Peter raised his eyebrows. "The list goes on, Elsie, I'm waiting."

"Well… he…" She needed a minute to gather her words.

"I can see you agree with me, Elsie, I can see it in your eyes."

"I'm not ashamed to admit I think his behaviour was wrong, but I also remember he had to deal with other things at the time. Alfred was leaving, for one, his favourite subordinate." She explained. "He would never let on it made him upset, but it did. Then the tremors started and he was terrified he might not be able to do his job properly."

"So?"

"Well it's only human, no?"

"Is that your argument, Elsie?"

"I'm sure he regretted it afterwards."

"That's a bit better."

"He was kind and helped Mr Molesley on many other occasions."

"Give us an example."

"He erm-"

Saint Peter just laughed.

"He guided him through his work. He always looked out for all of his subordinates."

"All of them?"

"Yes." Elsie stood her ground not willing to budge.

"What about Miss O'Brian, Daisy, Jimmy, or even your friend Mrs Patmore?"

"I am not sure why you are mentioning Miss O'Brian and Jimmy, whatever treatment they got from my husband they thoroughly deserved" She said sternly.

"Alright, what about the other ones?" Peter was testing her.

"You know he learned through his mistakes. Maybe a little slower at times. That surely doesn't make him worthy of hell!" She wailed the last sentence with such urgency. Tears started falling from her eyes again like raindrops.

"Hmm." Saint Peter was gaping at her for a few moments as she was quietly whimpering, before he continued. "Why don't you give me an example then? An example of his kindness."

"There is myriad of examples."

"A person then, that he was kind to."

"I mentioned Alfred already didn't I."

"You mean the boy he was unnecessarily rude to for having bad relatives?"

"You call it rudeness I call it caution." She claimed decisively. "And he gave him a chance and became a good friend and a sort of father figure to him."

"Hmm." Peter was observing her with interest. She really was quite determined.

"And what about the family and lady Mary? He was nothing but kind to them." She was still sniffling a bit but her voice was steady.

"At the expense of others perhaps."

"Not always." She corrected him.

"At the expense of you for example." Peter probed her.

She looked him in the eye and frowned.

"Or your friend, Mrs Patmore."

"Hm." Elsie ran her tongue over her teeth thinking. "I know what you're doing, but you are never going turn me against him." She exclaimed.

Saint Peter just smiled slyly.

"Charlie's always been so kind to Lady Mary, even when she was a little girl." She tried to hide her own feelings regarding that matter even though she suspected Peter knew. "He protected the family no matter what, he did his duty more than very well."

"Well-" He wanted to continue bit she jumped in.

"He always guided and set an example to all of his and my staff."

"Including Mr Branson?"

"He warmed to Mr Branson in the end, and he was never unkind to him."

"Because of you."

Elsie bit her lips again. "Why should that make a difference."

"Do you not think it should?"

"Surely not." Elsie rolled her eyes in frustration.

"Why not?" Peter kept being insistent.

"Because it's still the same kindness coming from within his heart and not mine." She shook her head and earned a smile from the saint.

"Very well then," Peter started again. "That's his kindness towards others but what about you, Elsie? What about his lack of kindness towards you?"

"There's always been more than plenty of kindness in our marriage - never a lack."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

Saint Peter just raised his eyebrows.

"I never complained." She gradually succumbed to his omnipresent judgement.

"Never?" His eyebrows were so high they seemed to be floating just above his forehead.

"No." Elsie said inaudibly, swallowing her nerves.

"Not even to Beryl Patmore?" He reminded her.

"Well-"

"I didn't ask you here to fabricate a wishful story-" Peter thundered but the housekeeper interrupted him.

"Maybe one or two times I complained." Elsie was now fidgeting with her skirt. "But we always resolved it in the end." She added with fervour. "We love-d each other dearly."

"Hmm, I see." He backed down a tad.

"To me he is…" She dithered. "He was a kind husband, a loving companion, a caring friend…"

"And?" Peter sensed she had something on the tip of her tongue.

"…and a selfless lover." She added proudly, unashamed. She never felt as loved and worshiped as she felt during their nights of passion.

"I've seen better." Peter said levelly after a moment of awkward silence.

"I didn't know you watched!" Elsie looked up at him - embarrassment now replaced by exasperation.

"Well-" Peter started blushing as well. "We see everything." He cleared his throat hoping they'd change the subject soon.

"Well then you must know." She started again with passion. "Then you must know what a kind man he is-" She continued reiterating everything that she already said and more. And Saint Peter just sat there, listening until he raised his hand to stop her heartfelt monologue.

"I've heard enough!" He rumbled decisively but also offered her a proud smile.

"I-" Elsie found it hard to suddenly stop talking.

"Thank you, Elsie," He said and pulled a lever covered with pearls beside him.

It opened a double-door under Elsie's feet and she fell through it within seconds.

Then she opened her eyes again. She was back in their cottage, in their comfy bed. It was still dark. She could sense her husband's body laying next to her. She turned to face him and hugged him from behind, whispering "I love you so much, Charlie." He didn't respond and she squeezed him tighter. "Charlie?" She checked after a moment and then panicked. "Charlie?" Her blood turned cold as silence prevailed…