TBB - TCW - The plan is - that there is no plan (The Bad Batch)
By Gun Roswell
Preface
Shoot first ask questions later is the most dumbest of ideas!
Preface
Set in the multiverse of Star Wars the Bad Batch and the Clone Wars galaxy of things.
Sometimes diving in head first is the only option.
Dialogue heavy banter between the squad during yet another mission op getting a slight snag in the Scud Pie. Who's talking and when? You decide.
Some kind of humour in this one I suppose.
Part of the Bad Batch One Shots and Crack series.
Notes:
Please enjoy this ficlet
Thanks for reading!
Shoot first ask questions later is the most dumbest of ideas!
'Planning ahead is all fine and good. Until it isn't. The plan being exactly what?'
So, the mission had not quite gone as planned. Then again, did they ever? Go as planned? Well, sometimes they did, alas it was more of a norm these days for the planning to fail. Some even questioning the why bother at all. Planning that is.
The squad was being pinned down by enemy fire, without a solution in sight how to get out of this, situation seemingly filled with strife.
"We're surrounded!"
"They're all over the place!"
"Told ya lot this was a bad plan!"
"This, wasn't part of the plan at all!"
"It never is until it is. And clearly, now it is."
"That wasn't very helpful."
"Trying to see the point in this, is all."
"That would be a first!"
"Wot!? I do see things around me happening even if I don't comment on them."
"Well, you sure picked up a funky time to start talking about 'things'."
"Oh yeah? Well you blabber all the time. So why not me and why not now? Seems a good time as any to start!"
"Lads! Shut the kark up! I'm trying to think over here."
*Stares ominously at his bickering teammates*
"We can see that. You're positively fuming through your bucket. Clearly overflowing with 'thoughts'"
*Giggles all around*
"Hey! You come up with something for a change! Something good which we can use to escape this hellhole!"
"What of your great plan then?"
"Yeah, doesn't look so great anymore!"
"Things change. Nothing is written in stone."
"Who'd wanna write on a stone? You'd need some kind of a hard tool for that!"
"Oh grow up Wrecker!"
"It's an adage!"
"What's an addict?"
"No - adage. As in a saying. Some kind of old school wisdom."
"Well, hammering words on a rock doesn't sound so wise to me."
"Oh my maker… it's not… never mind!"
*Throws arms in the air in defeat*
"So are we gonna write something or not?"
"No Wrecker. Hunter is thinking of a new plan. He's not gonna write anything."
*Sounding rather snark*
"So the rest of us aren't pitching in then?"
"No. Not yet at least."
"Okay then. I will nap while the Sarge figures things out."
"We're in the middle of a battlefield. There is no napping here!"
"It's no bother to me."
"Kriffing unbelievable!"
*Rolls eyes for the umpteenth time*
"So Hunter, what's the new plan then?"
"I thought you said there was no plan?!"
"I said this wasn't part of the plan."
"There was a plan. There's always a plan for fucks sake!"
*Gritting teeth in frustration*
"But if the plans always fails, wouldn't it be better to not to have a plan?!"
"Wot?"
"Ya know, go in, wing it, win and get out."
"That's a terrible idea!"
"Yeah Cross! That's suicidal!"
"Guess some of us thrive on suicidal!"
"I don't wanna die. Just thinking about the odds. If there was no pressure of a plan, then it would become more of a fun mission and more fun the better luck."
"Your deduction is totally flawed! This I war, not some stupid game! And to be able to win you need a plan. A good one at that. And this one surely wasn't that. A good plan."
*Stares somewhat frustrated at Hunter*
"Hey! I've told ya all the plan ahed of mission and you agreed it was fine. Now either keep quiet and lemme think and come up with a better plan!"
"Fine!"
"Shutting the kark up, now!"
"Gonna take a nap now. Wake me when all that hard thinking is done."
"No Wreck! You cannot sleep here!"
"Why not?"
"We've already told ya! This. Is a battlefield. We're surrounded by hostiles. THERE IS NO SLEEPING DURING A BATTLE!"
*Stares*
*Glares*
*Stand off ensues*
"We're so gonna be FUBAR!"
*Scoffs*
"With that attitude, we sure are."
"It's not an attitude Echo, simply a fact."
"Hunter will figure this out."
"So what's the rest of us going to do meanwhile? Sit on our collective shebs and let him come up with another disastrous plan?"
"Hunter, is our leader, he knows what to do."
"You're such a suck up Tech!"
"Am most certainly not! Simply stating the facts."
"Sure you are!"
*Snorts snidely*
"Will you lot please keep it quiet! Not only can I not think, but most likely the enemy can hear your bickering several klicks away!"
"Sorr-ry!"
"We weren't bickering, simply talking. Discussing the matter at hand."
"Yeah Hunt, it's called sorting out the varied opinions of a subject matter."
*Giggles*
*Eye rolls*
"What ever! Now please be quiet while I figure this one out!"
*Fuming continues*
*Some mumbling ensues*
*Low whistling and humming*
*Smacking of lips*
*Stares and glares*
"Is it really so fucking hard to shut the kark up even for a Force damned minute?!"
"No!"
"Sorry!"
"Shutting up!"
*Stares*
*Glares*
*More stern stares*
Several quiet moments pass. Surprisingly, the rest of the team manages to keep it quiet so Hunter can finally come up with some kind of a plan?
"I've got it!"
"Oh?"
"Yes!"
"So what's the plan Hunt?"
"Yeah Boss, what's the plan?"
Hunter's gaze travels from one trooper to the other, his face having a victorious smirk plastered in his face:
"So, what's the plan then? How do we bust ourselves outta here?"
"The plan is…. That there is no plan."
"Wot?"
"You can't be serious!"
"Yeah Hunt! That was pretty much the joke we've been telling all along. And at your expense!"
"And for all your information, having no plan is an absolutely ludicrous plan!"
"No. It's the perfect plan!"
"Na-ah!"
"Ya-ha!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"So to summarise your plan, which is that we simply get out there and wing the kriff out of it and hope for a somewhat successful outcome."
"Tech! No swearing!"
*Glares*
*Stares*
"Yes! It's the perfect plan!"
"Oh we're so gonna get FUBARED!"
"No we're not. Just, trust in the plan."
"The plan being 'no plan'?"
"The same one."
*Several eye rolls follow*
"Yep! FUBAR!"
"Fucked up beyond all recognition for sure!"
"This can't be happening…"
"Come on team! Trust in US!"
Hunter charges out with a loud battle cry, his team following suit despite the disagreeing growls and head shakes. He is their leader after all and where Hunter goes, the rest will follow…
In the end they end up raising havoc amongst the enemy. Making their way swiftly to their pick up point with minimal casualties. Their wits or physical injuries. Well perhaps Echo's sanity getting yet another dent in it? But that would not be the first or the last time for that.
