Will was putting on the charm the next morning, trying to wake me with soft kisses and whispered comments. I admit I enjoyed it, feeling him brush his fingers across my shoulder and press his lips where his fingers followed. "Ana, God, you're so beautiful. Do you know that? You're my pretty girl, I could get lost in your eyes. So deep, like a pond in a forest, clear down to the rich earth at the bottom." His fingers tangled in my hair, "It's golden like a field of wheat, darker and richer than the sun." They trailed down to my waist, "Ana, say something. Please."
I yawned, "Will? What time is it?" I could only stay silent against his musings for so long. He really was charming, when he chose to be. As opposed to last night when he acted like a complete ass.
He pressed a kiss to my shoulder, pulling me to lay flat on the bed. "Late morning, almost noon. I wanted to let you sleep."
"So we missed breakfast?" I really was hungry, after last night where I had left my dinner uneaten on the table. "Or is it too soon for luncheon?"
"I'd say luncheon, but it will probably be a few hours. I already had to send the stewards away once."
"Hmph," I looked away, trying to think. I had no idea where we were in the Atlantic, or how soon we would arrive in New York. I wanted things fixed between Will and Charles by the time we arrived, and I knew that only amounted to a few days at the very most. I wanted to speak about it to both of them though, to see if they would settle it on their own. Instead I shifted to lean against Will, looking up at him. "I don't suppose you thought to ask them to bring a snack?"
"No, I didn't." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I could chase one down if you'd like." He had started to rise, looking towards the door.
"No, no." I grabbed at his arms, "Don't leave." He settled down onto the bed, collecting me into his arms. I let my head rest against his chest, listening to him breathe. It was comforting to rest on him, the material of his pajamas a soft cover over his chest. I watched him intertwine our fingers, "Are you still angry?"
His fingers twisted, wrapping tightly around mine. "Not at you, I wasn't angry at you Ana."
"I am sorry for playing that joke."
"It wasn't your fault, although that trick wasn't very pleasant. It was Charles that came up with that idea." Will pulled me closer, pressing his lips to the top of my head. "So there's no reason for me to be angry with you." His comments still didn't help the curl of guilt that had taken up residence in my stomach. He was angry with his oldest friend because of me, which meant I had to try and do something to fix it. Will pulled me tighter to him, his hands on my waist. "You know that, right? I'm not angry at you in the slightest."
"But you're still angry." I pressed my head back into his chest, "You know he was just trying to help."
"He was trying to insert himself into our relationship." I felt Will tense underneath me as he spoke, "Charles tries to insert himself into everything, he has a terrible time not being the center of attention."
"Still, you should speak to him." I could feel his hands tighten on my waist, "I hate leaving things to fester, why do you think I always try and settle things between u, when we disagree, before we go to bed?"
"And here I thought it was because you couldn't resist me." He loosened his hands, and I shifted up. His brow was furrowed, though he did watch me greedily as I moved to get dressed. I had barely gotten my nightgown over my head before he pulled me back to the bed, rolling on top of me as I gasped. "And you know I can't resist you, especially like that."
I tried pushing against him, trying to get out of the cage of his arms. "Will, I need to get dressed."
"No, you don't." He hardly looked up from where he was kissing my breasts, "You don't need to leave the bed at all."
"I need to eat." I laughed, feeling him pressing a kiss to my navel. "And so do you."
"I could eat you, just swallow you whole." He looked up, his hands on my thighs. His eyes were dark, and his fingers were already sliding up them and gently pressing them apart. My breath sped up, remembering how it had felt when he had kissed me there, back in Southampton. It had been incredible, the way I had seemed to lose all control of myself, desperate only for his tongue and hands. Will looked up, "Ana?"
"Will, I really am hungry." I watched him pull back, his hands leaving my thighs. I tried to give him a smile though, "Maybe later?"
"Of course." He nodded, "I should get dressed too then, the lounge will be open in a while." Will still didn't leave me alone as I dressed, continually finding some reason to slip his hands under my clothing, or discard my waistcoat and pull me back against him. The worst was him pulling at the collar of my shirtwaist, biting and sucking at my neck and leaving a small bruise that was hidden by the material. He caught my eye as he pulled back, "You're driving me mad Ana, we should just stay."
"No," I shook my head, pulling my collar up even a little more. "We should go eat." Will huffed, but escorted me to the lounge and ordered us a large spread for luncheon. I caught him staring at me over the dishes, and I shivered as I felt his foot find mine under the table. It was a little blunt from his shoe, but he still traced his way up and down my leg. I looked up from my sandwich, "Will, what has gotten into you today?"
"I don't know," He shook his head, "I just can't seem to resist you."
My sandwich finished, I stood. "Well, you'll have to be on your own for a minute. I need to visit the water closet."
"Let me escort you, we can head back to the cabin after." He stood, coming closer and taking my hand.
I couldn't seem to shake him, he stuck to me like a child to their mother. He must have been trying to make up for last night, for his actions. I looked away from his eyes, trying to actually lie well. I was terrible at lying, so I tended to avoid it, but I had to at the moment. "Will, I really don't want to go back and do that."
"I would like to," He leaned down, "You liked it before."
I cut my eyes away, "Will, I think I can feel my monthly coming on. Can you please just let me go the water closet?" If there was one thing that seemed to frighten men, it was any mention of a woman's courses. Father had spent the entire week of my first monthly avoiding my rooms entirely, although he had continually sent the maids around with chocolate, trinkets, anything he thought would improve my mood. I had been a terror that first time, it had been painful enough that my mother had sent for a midwife to examine me and make sure everything was normal. Apparently I was fine, but I refused to leave my rooms for the week. When I finally emerged, Father had pressed a gold bracelet set with garnets into my hand, mumbling something about a reward for finally being a woman.
I saw Will's face redden, "Of course, do you need anything?"
"Just to go." I stepped away, turning into the passageways and finding my way up. I kept glancing back, but Will wasn't following. That was what I wanted, I hadn't felt my monthly, but I needed to do something without Will shadowing me. I saw my destination once I had gained the boat deck, stepping up to the gate behind the bridge. "Excuse me, if Office Lightoller up there?"
It was a minute before one of the junior officers emerged. He tipped his cap, "I'm sorry Miss, but no."
"Is he in the mess or his cabin? I do need to speak to him."
"Apologies Miss, but Mr. Lightoller is sleeping and left orders not to wake him unless the ship was in danger. And that we were to take no messages for him from passengers." The officer turned on his heel, heading back into the bridge. I could feel my brow knitting together and forced myself to smooth it out. I needed these two to settle things, and I had been hoping to speak to Charles. I had also been hoping to apologize to him, but he was holed up and refusing to come out. Which meant I needed another tactic. But I couldn't let Will know what I was aiming for, he was already so angry at Charles. I didn't want him to be angry with me as well.
Sighing, I made my way back down below. Other passengers passed by me, carefree and bubbling with an enthusiasm that evaded me. I turned my feet back towards our cabin, my eyes on the floor as I mulled through ideas. Will wouldn't think of it, Charles was apparently avoiding not only me, but Will as well. God, why couldn't they just settle it and be done? Charles could apologize, Will could apologize, and they could go back to being friends. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice my name being called until my hand had been grabbed. I spun, feeling my heart race, but I wound up blinking foolishly at Will. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."
He squeezed my hand, "It's alright, do you want to head back to the cabin? I asked a steward to bring a hot water bottle, Ada always liked to have one and take a nap when hers started. I could read to you."
My heart constricted, and I could feel a wad of emotion in my throat. He was so thoughtful, why did he have to be so stubborn about talking to Charles? I shook my head, "Actually, I was mistaken. Would you care for a walk?"
"Gladly," Instead of offering me his arm, he took my hand in his. Without his gloves his hands were calloused, but not rough. As we gained the boat deck he kept passing his thumb over my knuckles, rubbing each one as he moved over it. He found a deck chair away from the main promenade, and we sat. He pulled my hand to his lap, pressing his lips to the knuckles. "I'm glad you're not in any discomfort."
I held my tongue, I was in discomfort over this whole situation but speaking about it would only make it worse. "Yes, I'm thankful for it too."
"I don't suppose you've reconsidered my offer from earlier?" His eyes almost twinkled in the late afternoon light, a smirk on his face. "I would dearly love to comfort you tonight."
"I, ah, I'm afraid I just don't feel like it." I stammered, feeling a blush rise to my cheek. I couldn't look him in the eye or my will would collapse and I would melt for him. I needed to stay strong, I had to make him see that nothing would be happening until he settled things with Charles. "Have you seen the Captain around? I meant to ask how far out we are from New York."
"He made an announcement at luncheon after you left that we'd be there in two days, it's been a fairly smooth crossing. Aside from the storm on the first day." He moved closer, sliding his arm around my waist. "What will be waiting for us when we arrive?"
"A carriage, obviously." I shook my head, leaning against him. I could touch him, that was fine, I just couldn't think about letting him pleasure me. "And a party, but that might be a few weeks out."
"I'm excited to see what dress you choose," Will pressed his lips to my ear, "And to see it off you."
I shivered, "And I'll be glad to see you in a top hat and tails."
He pulled back, "You're joking Ana, aren't you?"
"No, it's what you'll be expected to wear to a party like that." I squeezed his fingers, "It's your debut to New York society after all, and it's an occasion for all of them to come down from Newport for a weekend. You'll need to look your best."
"I have my Reserves uniform, I can wear that."
"You'll have to fight my mother on it." I chuckled, picturing Mother facing off against him. I wouldn't mind him in his Reserves frock coat, but Mother would lay down the law. Truth be told, it really wouldn't be that much of a problem. But I didn't let him in on that. "She's going to be very concerned with making sure you have a proper introduction. More than likely she'll have a valet waiting for you."
"I do not need a valet." He stood, "I can dress myself just fine, I've been doing it all my life."
I stood too, moving to stand in front of him. "We'll see, I can't imagine you'd be very popular in the clubs without a valet."
Will quickly grabbed my waist, spinning me around. "And I will not be going to those awful clubs. Not after what Mr. Perry described goes on in them." He took my hand, looking down at me. "I do remember you saying I would need to dance."
"And I remember you saying that you already knew how." I countered, feeling him begin to turn us.
"I do, but that's no reason to avoid practice." He tugged me along with him, pulling me closer when I hung back. I could see the concern in his eyes when he looked down, "Ana, don't be like this."
"Like what Will?"
His hand slipped low on my waist, fingers trailing along my backside. "You're punishing yourself. It's not your fault that Charles and I are fighting."
"I just want you to settle things."
"Things will settle when they do. You can't force it, Ana." He stepped toward me, reversing our course. "It has nothing to do with you."
I stopped at that. "Will, you're fighting over marrying me sooner than you want. I am involved in this." I dropped my hand from his waist, pulling my other from his grip and wrapping them around myself. My stomach was twisting again, some ghostly pain threading through me. "It's because of me, and you can't say it isn't."
"Ana." Will wormed his hands around mine, pulling them from my waist. "You need to stop. If Charles and I have to settle things through letters then we will. But I can't stand to see you like this." He pressed his forehead to mine, "Now, what do you say we head back to the cabin? An early night, we can wake up early in the morning and have a huge breakfast. And we can read some poetry before we fall asleep. Doesn't that sound nice?"
I had to admit that it did. "Perhaps we could read more of my book instead of poetry? I'm getting close to the end."
"So long as we read it like we did yesterday morning."
"You are impossible, William Murdoch." I did let him pull me along though, back to the cabin and back to the bed. He was very attentive in undressing me, and I wound up having to push him away once when he became a bit too attentive. My stomach twisted to see the hurt look in his eyes when I did, even though he tried to hide it. No matter what he said, I still felt that curl of guilt in me, preventing me from wanting to let him touch me like that. I just didn't feel right about it. It was still a comfort to hold him in my arms though, his head on my breast and his comments sarcastic as I read.
True to his word the next morning we set to an enormous breakfast, almost taking up an entire table between the two of us. Bacon, eggs, oatmeal, griddlecakes, even a plate of special cheeses, it was all delicious and so filling that I wanted nothing more than a nap after. Will begged off, wanting to have a smoke before doing anything else. I assured him I did not mind, for I didn't. I had woken up briefly during the night, staring up into the dark with Will curled around me.
I had remembered the way he was touched me before that dinner, the way he had spanked me. If you behave like a child, you should be punished like one. That's all he and Charles were acting like, I realized. A couple of boys who had fought and refused to even see each other because obviously it was the fault of the other one. I would have to treat them like children to solve this. So, wanting nothing more than my bed, I instead set about asking steward after steward if they had seen the Captain anywhere around. Finally, the seventh steward I asked, pointed me to a room set close to the bridge, but not beyond the gate dividing it from the rest of the ship. It turned out to be a small sitting room, and I peeked in. "Captain Cameron?"
He turned, looking away from whatever he had been writing at his desk. "Miss Dalian?"
"May I come in?"
"Of course," He stood, waiting until I had sat before resuming his seat. "What can I do for you?"
I fiddled with my skirt, "Is there anyway you could order Mr. Lightoller to be at a certain place at a set time?"
"Does this have something to do with the disagreement he and Mr. Murdoch had the other night at dinner?"
"Yes."
He considered it for a moment, "Mr. Lightoller is very upset over it, he's refused to speak of it to any of us. He's quite angry with Mr. Murdoch, he told me that night he was acting ungrateful."
"I can make it worth your time, Captain Cameron." I raised my brow, "Once we get to New York."
"Are you bribing me, Miss Dalian?"
"I would think that was obvious, Captain." I lifted my chin, holding his eye. "I merely want to force Mr. Lightoller and Mr. Murdoch to settle things, and I can see you given a very large tip once we dock."
He held out a hand, "What room did you have in mind?"
"The library," I shook it, "At noon." That was only a few hours away, and Will was expecting me to be in the cabin, sleeping. And to be quite honest, it did sound tempting. But I needed to stay awake, to tempt Will to follow me. So instead, when Will arrived back after his smoke, I was approaching the end of my book. I looked up at him over the cover, "I think I might need to take another trip to the library. We can return both of these, if you like."
Will rolled his eye, tugging at my ankle. "We still haven't finished the poems, and I do not intent to leave this ship until we do."
"Can we please go return this one though?" I let him pull me closer to him, rising to my knees when I got to the edge of the bed. I slipped my arms around his shoulders, brushing my lips up against his ear and whispering. "We could always get more poetry. Maybe some Byron?"
His hands found my waist, pulling me flush to him. "We'd have to stay awake all night to read them both then, before we arrive."
"Then we had best hurry." I giggled, kissing the tip of his nose and slipping off the bed. Will could hardly let his hands leave me as we made our way back to the library, always touching my arm, my hand, and at one point, when we were hidden by a wall, my rear end. He laughed off the slap to the wrist that I gave him for that, I had not hit him very hard. "God, if this is what poetry does to you then I am glad we don't have much at the dock house."
"All that tells me is that I will have to see your bookshelves stocked." He chuckled, opening the door to the library. It took him a moment to realize that the room wasn't unoccupied, enough time for me to grab the knob. Will's voice had lost any warmth as he spoke, glaring at Charles. "You need to leave, Charles."
Charles, who had been perusing the shelves, glared right back. "I was told to be here, Will."
"And what exactly were you ordered to do?" Sarcasm dripped from Will's voice as he stepped closer to Charles, "Dust the shelves?"
"Actually, I asked for him to be here." I spoke up, unwilling to relinquish my hold on the doorknob. "You two need to talk."
"Ana-"
"Anastasia you can't be serious-"
"Will, Charles," I glared at both of them in turn, "We arrive in New York tomorrow morning. I refuse to let you two leave like this. If I have to play the jailor, I will. So far as I am concerned, neither of you two will leave this room until you have settled this." With that said I turned, stepped out, and closed the door. A nearby chair provided a doorstop, and I quickly settled myself in it as an extra bulwark. Hopefully they would settle this quick, I was almost finished with my book.
The door was tried several times, thudding into the back of my chair. Will's voice was muffled, "Damn it Ana, let me out."
"Will, stop acting like a child." I spoke quietly to the crack of the door, hoping he heard me through it. The door wasn't tried again, and I focused on my book. It was easier to focus on Nemo and Pierre than think about what the raised voices I was hearing inside the library meant. The exact words were muddled, but the tone was clearly felt. I had no doubt some of the harsh words were directed at me for tricking the both of them, but I shoved that thought aside, focusing on my book. I was nearing the end, where things began to go sideways. I felt for Nemo, having lost his wife and child, but the vengeance that he was wreaking on innocents, solely because of their nationality, was unneeded.
Conflict always muddied situations like that though, the lines between what was right and what was moral blurring. Pierre himself couldn't seem to stomach it, fleeing the Nautilus and thinking the great ship destroyed in the Maelstrom. Of course it wasn't, but I had no desire to read the next book at the moment. Instead I tried to occupy myself with noting the decorations onboard, the fine wood paneling on the edges of the halls, carved and stained dark as blood. I had been reduced to counting the curling leaves on one of the decorations when a soft knock sounded on the door, Charles's voice calling out. "Anastasia, we're good now. Can you please let us out?"
I stood, pulling the chair from the doorway. It swung out, revealing a rather flushed Charles. I had a small smirk on as I looked him up and down, "Are you really good?"
"Yes, yes. We're settled." He shook his head, "He's a damn stubborn fool, but he is my friend." He gestured back into the room, "He's waiting for you inside though, I've got to get back to my work." He did look back after he walked out though, "And you need to learn to stay out of things like this, it wasn't as if we wouldn't have settled things on our own."
"It was so much quicker though," I smiled, turning and stepping into the library. It was so quiet that the door shutting seemed to echo throughout it. The lights were low, and it took me a minute to spot Will, leaning against a bookshelf. "Will, I'm glad you and Charles solved it."
"That was a cruel trick you played, Ana." He glanced over, extending his hand.
I hesitatingly took it, "I'm sorry, but I had to do something." He yanked on my hand, pulling me closer. "It was the only thing I thought to do." It seemed to take little effort for him to lift me up onto one of the tables, his arms caging me as he leaned over. I brought my hand up, brushing my fingers against his cheek. "Please don't be angry."
His hands moved to my skirt, slipping under and beginning to trail up to my thighs. "Oh, I am quite angry Ana." I gasped as his fingers quickly snuck underneath my combinations, brushing against me. "I told you to let me handle it."
"It," I whispered, his ear so close to me that I knew he heard me. "It was my fault, if I hadn't pushed for you to book us a cabin together, oh God." I bit back a moan as his fingers began rubbing. "Will, Will what if someone comes in?"
"Why was it your fault?" He hardly seemed to notice what I had said.
I was panting by then, feeling him press two fingers into me, rubbing mercilessly. "If we travelled separately, fuck Will." I shuddered, grasping his shoulders. "We can't, not here. Please, back at the cabin. I'll do what you want, please Will. I'll use my mouth, just not here."
"Answer me." He curled his fingers, and I almost sobbed at the feeling. "Answer me, and we can go."
"If I hadn't, God, please Will. If we didn't travel under these names, he wouldn't have had the idea." It took quite some time for me to get the statement out, and I couldn't stop the soft moans that were stealing from my throat. "That's all, that's it." I tried to stay quiet, pressing my mouth to him to muffle the cries he was pulling from me.
"You can't know that." Will brushed his thumb against the little bundle of nerves, and I almost cried out, barely holding it in. "But it's done."
"What, what did you say?" I was moving against him now, desperate for my release. I hardly cared if anyone came in, not when he was doing this. All I cared about was his hand and the clenching in my belly.
I could feel Will smirk against my neck, "We both agreed that we each had overreacted, and I told him that it was a kind thought that he had. Even if it seemed like he thought it was a joke." His movements were growing faster, and I felt a keening begin in my throat. "Of course it took a bit to come to that, and there was a bit after we settled things."
"What was, Jesus." I shivered, feeling my stomach tighten. I was so close, and I clutched Will to me, thrusting myself against his hand. "Fuck Will, please."
"Do you want me to stop and go back to the cabin?"
"No, fuck Will. Finish me." I begged, my voice low only for a moment before Will set himself to the task. It was all I had in me to not cry out as I felt my release crest over me, my voice dying in my throat even as it felt like my body sang. I could feel Will brush his fingers off on my combinations as he withdrew his hand, and I almost collapsed against him. "Will, God, what if someone had seen us? What if they heard us?"
"Oh, they'll hear much more in the cabin later." He wrapped his hand in my hair, pulling my head back to look him in the eye. I could barely focus, my lids heavy. "You promised poetry tonight. I even collected a volume of Byron, just like you wanted."
"It wasn't a promise, just a suggestion."
"Hmm, well, we should be off to luncheon first then." He tugged on my hands, pulling me to my feet. "That is, if you're up for it."
I could barely keep my balance, leaning heavily on his arm. "I, I suppose I am." It took a moment before I could even think clearly, and Will and I were making our way back to the lounge by the time I came back to myself. "Wait, what did you and Charles discuss after you had settled things?"
"Oh, he's to be my best man at our wedding. And you're paying for first class tickets for him and Sylvie to come over, and taking her shopping. They'll be staying with us for at least a week before the wedding. And he has an invitation to the engagement party, whenever it is."
I couldn't help but stop, my hand falling from his arm. "Will, that's an ungodly amount."
"Ana," He turned, a smirk on his face and his brow raised, "That is simply the consequences you will have to endure. Unless you want to make me angry again."
Oh God yes, if what he did before was how he punished me. "That depends, do you want me to read your poetry tonight?"
"Oh Ana, I think i'll be the one reading."
